/Time: Chapter 4, following the liberation of Colony 11 and the completion of the Three Raven quests/

/Hovering Reef 5, Syra Hovering Reefs, Keves Castle Region/

It was whilst traversing the Syra Hovering Reefs that Lanz finally unlocked Ashera's class for himself; Eunie (and then Taion) had been using it for long enough that his 'Ouroborosness' was able to finally get a handle on it. (There was probably a more technical way of putting it, but it made sense, so there.)

Taion seemed grateful to slot back into a Healer role, yammering on about how "this Defender class requires a lot more Agility than you'd expect to be tactically viable" before shifting to Teach's Thaumaturge class. Eunie was still sticking with Ashera's Blade, if only to help Lanz get some of the finer points that mere instinct and intuition wouldn't get across.

As everyone else took a brief break — because spark it all the path winding up this Hovering Reef's tallest peak was long — Lanz dutifully performed drills with Eunie, if only so he didn't accidentally nick himself with the Twinsaber (which, to be fair, was because he was taller than both Eunie and Ashera).

Minutes into their practice, Lanz decided to ask a question that had been bugging him. "Say, Eunie."

"What is it?" she remarked, resting the tip the dual-bladed weapon into the ground.

"Been meaning to ask...why exactly did Ashera get under your skin so much?"

His old podmate blinked, as one startled. "Eh? Whaddya mean? How could she not?"

"I mean, I get that she's a bit out there..."

"A 'bit'?" Eunie narrowed her eyes with suspicion. "This ain't because you admire her, is it? I mean, you knew about her before we ever got introduced."

Lanz rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, that ain't fair. Nobody got on us for knowing about Ethel, and nobody else got any grief for knowing about Alexandria." There were a few other figures he could probably think about with some notoriety in Keves, like 'Subtle Orsolya' of the Silver-ranked Colony 5. (Alas, little did he know that his knowledge of their Rank was outdated...but that's a story for later.) Even Colony 8's commander would have merited some recognition, had that Colony not been recently destroyed under mysterious circumstances. "Besides, I'm not wrong, am I? You're a lot more bothered by Ashera than you ever were by Ethel."

Eunie audibly scowled. "That ain't the same, and you know it."

"...is it, though?" he wondered aloud. "Ethel and Cammuravi...were both going to die. Yet instead of turning their Ferronises on the Consuls, they chose to fight each other to the literal death. Maybe...Ashera's just more honest about it all."

Eunie scowled, crossing her arms in an almost petulant manner. "And that doesn't bother you? Just 'cause we tried to make nice with her doesn't mean we have to ignore her faults."

"...Eunie, what's this really about?" asked Lanz with genuine curiosity. "I mean, is it because she let that Moebius go, instead of finishin' her off?" That would at least make some sense; letting Consul R live was gonna bite them in the arse, further down the line.

"...no," admitted Eunie with a frown. She walked over towards the edge of the pathway, letting her legs dangle off. Lanz quietly joined her, staring out at the distant horizon. It brought to mind old times: of when they had survived yet another battle, and were waiting for Noah to finish his off-seeing before they could head back. (In a bit of cosmic irony, the faint sound of Noah's and Mio's flutes could be heard from nearby; two off-seers trying to bleed away the tension, as Keves Castle loomed large in their immediate future.) "We only fought because we had to...to keep our Clocks fed, to make it just one more day. And to hear someone act so flippantly about it all..." Turning her nose up, Eunie mimicked Ashera's tone rather well. "'Yes. I want to die.'" She growled, still ticked off by it. "Whatever Ethel had with Cammuravi...I still don't understand it. But if there was a way for both of them to live...I think they would have taken it. That's the difference between them and Ashera."

Lanz stared ahead, mulling over the thoughts in his mind. (Something still didn't seem right, though.) "...but you made nice with Ashera, right? After Noah told you to go apologize?" (Which had been a pretty radical step, all things considered...though, their relations with other Commanders of freed Colonies had been relatively more cordial. Maybe Noah was just built to be more diplomatic than they were?)

"Yeah, and?"

"So why all the tosh? You're usually quicker to let things go. Have an argument, throw some sparks, and then it's all done." (Not like you can lecture anyone; even after everything, you still can't get over Joran.) "How come?"

Eunie glared. "What's got you so nosy all of a sudden?"

"...not sure I can tell you why," he admitted (because the feelings he could sense when Interlinking with Sena as of late were a whole 'nother kettle of fish). "But you've always been nosy when it comes to me and Noah. Fair's fair, right?"

The girl fiddled with the tip of her right head wing; was she actually that anxious about whatever she was thinking about? "...it wasn't that long ago, you know? Where we cheered after each battle...full of joy over how we had managed to kill the Agnians before we could be killed."

"...you regret it?" he asked.

She looked at him like he was crazy. "Of course! Do you not?!"

Lanz huffed, suddenly feeling much older than his nine terms. (Sparks, if that Guernica fella managed to live to sixty terms, how had he not gone bonkers?) "I mean...what would be the point? Got too much to regret about things I can't change as it is; when that life was all we knew...how were we expected to be any different?" Looking up at the sky — as twilight gave way to shiny stars — he admitted, "I was serious, you know? About making it to Homecoming, and dragging you all with me...because I really believed that was the peak." It seemed silly, in retrospect...but snuff, it had been his ambition for a reason. "And Colony 11? They all talk about being a bunch of misfits, that couldn't fit in with any other Colony...that could have easily been us." Just like...it could've been me, who died back then. If not for Joran. (So many things, reducible to 'what if?'...)

Eunie gave a thoughtful hum, finally letting some of her prickliness fade. "...I don't like that thought, you know? That I could've ended up with a mindset like Ashera's. Wanting to fight, only to die. I still don't get it..."

"But do we have to? There are things about Noah that I don't understand, even after all this time." (Seriously, the off-seer sometimes seemed like his mindset had come from a different world entirely; it was a miracle he had managed to retain it for as long as he had.) "Same with you."

Eunie arched an eyebrow. "Me? I'm pretty open; what about me could you not get?"

"Like how you haven't managed to slug Taion more, for how much you two go at each other," he said with a grin.

Eunie instead slugged him in the shoulder, a fond smile finally rising on her face. "You're such a sparkin' muppet, you know that?"

"Takes one to know one!"

Before long, their brief heart-to-heart came to an end; having recovered their stamina, Ouroboros continued their trek through the Hovering Reefs.

xxxx

With everything that would occur in Keves Castle and the subsequent revelations within the City, it's easy to understand why such a conversation would linger in the background.

Yet, the thoughts and feelings would still ruminate, waiting for a fuller expression.

For later on — as Ouroboros traversed the world with Nia, hunting for the Origin Shards — the truth behind Ashera's seemingly suicidal mindset would become known.

xxxx

/Time: Chapter 7, during the hunt for the Origin Shards with Queen Nia/

/Colony 11, Keves Castle Region/

Taion was grateful that Nia could be circumspect when circumstances required it. She had wisely remained out of the way when Ouroboros and Ashera had fought both Consul R and Consul W, because why advertise to Moebius that she was out and about? (Even if they likely knew of her awakening, there was no point in rubbing their faces in it. It would only invite more trouble needlessly.)

(Nia had been unusually eager to stay away, lingering within the Maktha Wildwood whilst they dealt with whatever Consul R had unleashed upon Colony 11. "I'm feeling some real icky vibes," the Agnian Queen had muttered, as a way of warning them. Given her talent for healing, it's quite reasonable that Consul W's manipulated 'dolls' would have felt downright abominable...)

Even so, he wondered what might have happened if Nia had been present during that confrontation; would her healing abilities have been able to nullify W's control? No point in wondering now, I suppose. With the conclusion of that battle — complete with the revelation that Ashera had known the truth about Moebius, about the cycle of rebirth! — Eunie had been in a rather introspective mood.

After talking with Ashera in private, that sense of introspection had not faded...even if it had been tempered with a sense of resolution.

As such, he wasn't surprised when she finally spoke her mind, whilst eating across from him at the Colony's Canteen. It was a rare moment of privacy, whilst the others had gone to notify Nia of recent events. "Say, Taion. I've...got an odd question for you."

"What is it, Eunie?" he asked.

"...how do you feel about 'death pacts'?"

He blinked with genuine confusion. "...pardon?"

Eunie groaned, wings twitching out of annoyance directed inwardly (by now, he could tell the difference between when someone irritated her and when she irritated herself). "Just figured I might as well talk it out, because I don't wanna hear any panicking from you the next time we Interlink. 'Cause I know you're gonna ask about it." Thus, she gave an abridged summary of her last conversation with Ashera — clearly glossing over items of a more private nature — that, at the very least, imparted the knowledge that Ashera's gungho mentality was not quite so. "So...there."

"...hmm," he said, not giving his thoughts immediately one way or another. "And you truly believe she was sincere?"

Eunie nodded. "I mean...it felt right, you know? The way she talked about how her old life ended...I could have been like that." She gestured towards her right eye. "Moebius D...he'd been quick, when killing the old me. But Ashera...I don't know if it's something with her cradle, if it's some sick joke by Moebius, or what...but the thought of dealing with that sort of pain, day in and day out? It's..."

"...frightening?" Taion had privately wondered why precisely the boisterous Defender had seemed to grind Eunie's gears; perhaps the similarities between the two had irked her. Now, though, with greater understanding...that irritation had diminished, to say the least. "To know that, for but a change of circumstances, you could have been just like her?"

Eunie wordlessly nodded.

"...I can understand the logic behind it," he admitted, even if the thought of Eunie dying in a suicide pact with Ashera chilled him to the core. (The thought of Eunie dying, period, had come to haunt his nightmares as of late; taking the place of Mio's demise, so common a dream it had been prior to the Eclipse.) "Just as I can understand why you would be irritated by having so many likenesses with Ashera."

"Why's that?"

"Because we tend to be our own worst enemies," he quietly said, thinking of his old friend called 'Self-Loathing'. "I imagine that if I met someone just like me, I would be equally perturbed."

The thought made Eunie snort. "We've already got troubles with N being another version of Noah. I can't even imagine more than one of you."

"Precisely." Finishing the last of his gamey stew, he added, "Even so...I am glad, about what you told her at the end."

"Eh?"

"About how our lives don't just belong to us." Looking down at one of his Mondo — standing up at attention on the table — he solemnly continued, "The way we live...and the way we die...it leaves impacts on everyone around us." How much had Nimue's death affected him, Isurd, and the rest of Lambda? How much had Joran's death altered the very way of life for Lanz, Eunie, and Noah? "So...with all that being said, I'm glad you reminded Ashera of that. Because when your life ends, Eunie..." It'll be...awful. The thought didn't bear contemplating...even though, intellectually, he knew it would come, one day. However, he did not voice his own private fears; now was not the time nor place for that sort of talk. "...whenever it ends, I trust that you'll go down fighting, no matter what."

Eunie rolled her eyes at him. "Well duh, it's not like I'm just gonna become a pile of ash because of this thing I got with Ashera. If I'm like her...then she's also like me: I don't think she wants to be a quitter...so she'll go down fighting as well." Placing her fist on the table, she leaned forward with a stern expression. "And you'd better go down fighting too, you hear me?"

"But of course." To do anything less would be to sully everything they had accomplished as Ouroboros.

Suddenly...

"Aw, look at my chum and her partner, bonding over my terrible secret!"

Taion and Eunie both jolted at the unexpected intrusion of Ashera, looming over the side of their table. "Wha...have you been eavesdroppin'?!" yelled a scandalized Eunie.

"Well, this is the canteen in the Colony that I command, so it's not like have to ask permission to be here." Shooting Taion a snarky grin, Ashera added, "I certainly hope this means we can be buddies; after all, Eunie's friends might as well be my friends."

Eunie's wings flapped with indignation. "Oi, what are you on about-?!"

"Disagreements with the way you comport yourself aside, there was never any question of us being able to establish a working relationship," diplomatically said Taion, interrupting Eunie's tirade before she could get going. "After all, out of our entire group, Eunie was the only one who was outright hostile to you."

Ashera blinked, as if suddenly reminded of that fact. "Ah...I suppose that is true, Poindexter."

"...I could do without the pejorative nickname, however," he dryly said.

Ashera chuckled in a patronizing manner. "Well, if you two could get with your Ouroboros pals whenever they get back, I have an invitation of sorts I'd like to talk to you all about...something to clear away this gloomy little atmosphere we've got going on!"

"Gloomy?" simultaneously retorted Eunie and Taion.

"Trust me, after I tell you all what I have in mind, you'll be downright ecstatic..."

xxxx

The tale of 'The Championship Melee Of Doom And Pleasure For All of Colony 11' (or whatever title Ashera would come up with; it was a work-in-progress!) would be told elsewhere.

Even so, the more important thing to consider is Eunie's realization of a rather simple truth: sometimes, the things that irritate you the most about other people...are the things which you most disdain about yourself.

Yet, that doesn't stop others from overcoming those faults.

And if they can...then so can you.

Even if it takes a helping hand or two along the way.

xxxx

Author's Note: I imagine that if Eunie told the others about her suicide pact with Ashera, Sena and Manana would immediately fling themselves at Eunie to tearfully hug her, telling her to 'no don't go, you still have so much to live for!'. :V