Well, look what the cat dragged in... or something.
Yeah, I know, I've been practically dead to the world and I'm sorry for that.
I can't give you any more excuses but working at home with a kid. If any of you is doing that, you will understand how hard it is... Sigh...
I hope that this long chapter can help me apologize for my long, long, long absence and the poor update schedule I've had. I also need to update the Otter fic and I will, but I just can't promise when this will happen. I wish is soon. I'm really ashamed to be showing at this time but I hope you can forgive me for it. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you that kept writing me through PMs, I really appreciate it.
HUGE EXPLANATION ABOUT JI MIN'S AGE!
So, this is something I did but may never do again in my stories because, man! Confusing! My story is taking place on September, 2018. Ji Min was born on August 10th, 2011. Now, if you're quick at math you know that Ji Min should be 7 and not 8, but! What I'm taking into account here is not the Western but the Korean age. Why? No idea. I wanted to make the story more realistic I was kinda stuck with it. But now I have decided to change it to Western age again because I was seriously having MAJOR issues with the age. To all of you who may be reading this again, I'm very, very, very sorry about the confusion!
On the other hand, I opened up a for any of you who'd like to support me. Just look for nerwent in Kofi
This chapter isn't proofread so I apologize for any grammatical error while you read.
+++Huge thanks to JHsgf82 for always being there, brainstorming with me and supporting me all the way+++
Previously on Part of Me: The gang spend a night of commoner games where they all had fun. Jan Di and Ji Min finally got their day with Ji Hoo and he had a bunch of surprises for the little one. Yi Jung had found some pictures that are causing him to have more doubts.
Jan Di came out of the examination room and found Yi Jung, Woo Bin, Ji Hoo and Sun Mi waiting in the lobby. All the men stood up when they saw her.
"He will be okay. The fever broke just a while ago so the doctor feels better about that. I just need some new clothes." She said and there was a collective sigh.
"We'll take care of that. But what happened? How did he get so sick, so fast?" Woo Bin asked.
Jan Di knew that she had to tell the truth. It wasn't an obligation, but she had lied enough to her friends.
"We didn't come here for a cold, we came because...Ji Min had pneumonia." The expressions on Ji Hoo and Woo Bin's faces made her want to hide behind something. "If I had told you-"
"If you had told us, we would've gone to a clinic to make sure he was 100% fine. Didn't we talk about this today?" Ji Hoo rarely got mad, but when he did, it was scary. And worse when his mind tied the knots on any story. "The medicine. Did you have enough medicine to give Ji Min?"
Jan Di bit her lip and looked away. It wasn't that she didn't love her son or cared about him, of course she did, but the money she had wasn't enough for the full amount of pills he needed. However, she made sure that he took them until he was okay. Jan Di never had the luxury of taking medicine a lot of times she was sick as a child, she had to either ride it out or not fall sick, so she didn't want Ji Min to go through the same.
"I gave him medicine for four days. He was okay after day three." She finally answered.
"And how long were he supposed to take them?"
"For nine days."
The long sigh and the hard gaze Ji Hoo and the rest of the guys gave her were worse than actual yelling.
"We'll take it from here. We can move Ji Min tonight to Shinhwa's hospital." Ji Hoo said but Jan Di quickly refused. "And why not?"
"First and this one should be enough, I'm his mother, I get the final say. Second, you haven no right to simply state what you 'plan' to do with him even if your intentions are noble. And third, I don't want my son near Jun Pyo's mother for any reason."
What happened next was a discussion between 3 of the members of the F4 and Geum Jan Di. Sun Mi watched enraptured as Jan Di held her ground and even though she 'thanked F4 for your help these past few days, this doesn't mean you are entitled to override my authority when it comes to Ji Min.'
They all agreed Jan Di was right and stood down, but told her they wanted to help if she would let them. She, in turn, apologized for her quick reaction and thanked them for it. Even agreed to see a doctor of their choosing as long as it wasn't in a Shinhwa facility.
"Thank you, too, Sun Mi-ssi. I must have interrupted your night, I'm very sorry."
"As long as Ji Min is okay." She replied.
"Guys, you won't be able to see Ji Min today but you can all come tomorrow. The doctor says he's better and what he needs is rest and medicine. And before you start again, he already ripped me a new one for not giving Ji Min the complete treatment as well."
"Then, it's time to say goodnight. We'll see you tomorrow."
While Yi Jung and Woo Bin went to give a hug to Jan Di, Ji Hoo went to Sun Mi.
"I'm going to the hotel to get some clothes for Jan Di and Ji Min. Do you want to come or would you rather I take you home first?"
"I'll go with you."
"Okay, then let's go say goodbye for now."
Sun Mi got to Jan Di first and then Ji Hoo stood before her.
"Alarm?" Jan Di asked.
"Alarm." Ji Hoo confirmed and she smiled.
"I still don't know how you do it, but thank you."
Sun Mi assumed that this alarm they were talking about was the same thing Woo Bin and Yi Jung had mentioned before. She didn't know if she should ask about it but on their way to the hotel, she felt she had a right to, so she did.
"Yeah…" Ji Hoo's voice trailed off. "I don't know how to explain it. Jan Di is a magnet to trouble, or at least she was after meeting us. Somehow, I kinda knew when she was in trouble, like a hunch of sorts."
"And that's what you felt tonight?"
"Yeah."
"And you only feel it with her?"
Another kind of alarm blared on Ji Hoo's head at Sun Mi's question.
"No. I've known when Jun Pyo was in trouble too." Although it had been only a couple of times, that part was true. "Really, it's nothing. Just a silly feeling that has proven wrong before." And that last part was a lie, but he really thought that Sun Mi was starting to feel jealous of Jan Di. He didn't exactly see why, Jan Di was a very good friend but Sun Mi was his girlfriend. yes, he really cared for Jan Di but that didn't mean he was going to cheat on her or something.
Once they got clearance from the main desk, they went to Jan Di's room and Ji Hoo immediately got a suitcase. Sun Mi saw him work fast and efficiently: Toiletries, shoes, phone charger, clothes, she was surprised to didn't even see him flinch when he looked up for some underwear. He rounded the room once more and thought to get pajamas for Ji Min in case he wanted to change, so he raised the bed covers and stopped. It was just for a beat, but Sun Mi noticed.
"Is something wrong?"
"No, I thought I wanted to sneeze. I have everything they might need. Let's go."
When they arrived at the clinic again, they knocked but no one answered. Testing the door, they realized it wasn't locked. Ji Hoo checked his phone.
'The doctor had to leave because of an emergency. I left the door open because I'm starting to doze off. Just leave anything on the lobby or the room at the back where we're at. Thank you very much and sorry for all the trouble.'
He told Sun Mi what had happened and both of them quietly went inside the room.
Ji Min was on the bed, with some serum connected to his arm and sleeping soundly. Jan Di had sat on the chair next to the bed and had fallen asleep, her head nestled on her arms on the bed.
Ji Hoo set the small bag close to the chair, took out a blanket from a cabinet and carefully set it on Jan Di's shoulders.
"Shouldn't we wake her?" Sun Mi asked "Maybe she wants to get changed into something more comfortable..."
"No. Jan Di treasures her sleep too much."
"Another rule?" Sun Mi asked, curious.
"Yeah. Never wake her unless someone is dying." he chuckled.
Taking her hand, they left the clinic and made sure it was properly closed before driving back to his place.
Jan Di was relieved to find Ji Min no longer had fever when he woke up the next day. The doctor was already awake and asking him some questions.
She hadn't been lying the previous night when she said the Doctor had sternly called her out for being so irresponsible and with her own son. Jan Di had, of course, lowered her head, shut her mouth and taken it like a big girl. But today, he seemed to be in a better mood, so she took advantage of it and of the bag she found close to her to freshen up in the bathroom and change clothes.
She, obviously, had gotten several messages overnight. Apparently, Jae Kyung was now an aunt as her sister had given birth to a healthy baby boy. Jan Di completely understood why Jae Kyung or Jun Pyo couldn't be there, not that any of the F4 had to, but they were going to either way. Woo Bin, Yi Jung and Ji Hoo had written as well, saying they'll go to the clinic again at different times, that she should let them know if anything else happened. As she was reading, she got a new message from Ji Hoo, saying he was a minute away.
Smiling, she went outside to tell Ji Min that Hyung was coming to visit, this seemed to put him in high spirits and she was happy about it.
When Jan Di heard the door, she told the doctor she could get it.
"Good morning. How's Ji Min?" Of course, that was the first thing Ji Hoo asked.
"He's okay. His fever broke and I have already changed him. He's feeling much better, thank you for the clothes, by the way. And good morning, Sun Mi-ssi." JI Hoo's girlfriend returned the greeting.
"If we have visits, I think we should make some coffee." The voice of the doctor could be heard coming from the corridor. "Why don't you help me, girl?"
Jan Di turned around and agreed with a smile but then the doctor's face turned pale and his eyes opened as if he had seen a ghost.
"Doctor? Is everything okay?"
"Ji-Ji Hoo-ah." Was everything he mentioned. Jan Di looked back to her friend who was sporting a similar expression.
Sun Mi noticed as well, and called his name to no avail.
In Ji Hoo's mind, several pieces of memories came rushing back. Fishing trips on the weekends, playing around this man's office and hiding behind his legs when Ji Hoo didn't want amma or appa to find him. Riding on his back while pretending to be the most fearsome cowboy in the wild West. But also times of looking only at his back, clad in a black suit; of tears and mumblings of how their children weren't with him anymore. Of dismissive looks asking him to 'go play or something' and leaving him alone. Of waking up one day and calling his name in vain because he was finally gone.
"Haraboji…" Ji Hoo's eyes filled with tears but not a second later, he left the clinic, Sun Mi running after him.
"You- Are you Ji Hoo's grandfather?" Jan Di was shocked as well. Ji Hoo had told her about his past, his parents, how they died and how the only other living member of his family had one day just disappeared, leaving him completely alone.
"My grandchild…" The man fell to the floor and held his face with his hands, crying.
"He left!" Sun Mi came back into the clinic, clearly worried. "He just hopped into the car and left."
Jan Di could understand why he had done it even if Ji Hoo himself might not. It must have been an immense shock.
"Sun Mi-ssi, is there a way for you to take a taxi to follow him? He might go back to his house. Call him, don't leave him alone right now." She asked of her.
"Is he really…?" Sun Mi didn't know much about Ji Hoo's family, but she thought he had no other relatives.
"Sun Mi-ssi, please!" Jan Di was already dealing with a heartbroken man and her sick son, she couldn't worry about one more right now. "Call him, find out where he is and don't leave him alone. And please, keep this to yourself. Don't tell anyone, even F4. Call me when you find him."
Sun Mi pouted a bit but knew Jan Di was right, she quickly took out her phone, called for a cab and then started calling Ji Hoo. She saw how Jan Di managed to pull the older man up and take him to a chair. The last thing she saw before leaving was her crouching down and taking the doctor's hands.
It had taken a couple of hours of constant worry until Ji Hoo finally arrived home. Sun Mi had been waiting there because, really, she had no idea where he could've run off to.
She immediately hopped out of her car and met him at the door.
"Ji Hoo-ah. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I just need to change."
Once inside and after a shower and a change of clothes, they both sat down in the living room.
"Are you sure he is your grandfa-" Sun Mi started asking but Ji Hoo quickly cut her off.
"That man is not my grandfather! What, so this is where he was all these years? Just some minutes away from his own home? Did he even think about stopping by to check on me? I bet you he didn't, why would he!"
Sun Mi sat there and listened to her boyfriend rant and even curse a couple of times against a man that he claimed had abandoned him. And if all Ji Hoo said was true, he had a right to his rage.
When his voice started to fail, she went to make some tea because really, what did you say in a situation like that?
She was a bit startled when Ji Hoo's phone rang, he checked the screen and didn't answer, just cancelled the noise. The ringtone was heard again though, and he did the same process.
"Who is it?" She asked as she brought the tray with cups and hot water.
"Jan Di. But I don't feel like talking to her right now."
Yeah, well, Sun Mi wouldn't either.
They drank the tea in silence. Sun Mi was rubbing Ji Hoo's back with slow circles when they both heard a voice.
"Yoon Ji Hoo, where are you?"
"Is that...?" Sun Mi asked
Ji Hoo sighed, finished his cup in a quick movement and then his phone rang.
"I can hear your ringtone!" Jan Di said in a loud voice and went to the place she thought the noise was coming from. Sure enough, she found Ji Hoo and Sun Mi sitting on a couch. "I'm sorry for breaking in but we need to talk."
"I know what you came here to say-" Ji Hoo started but was cut off.
"Great! That way this will go even faster."
"Jan Di-ah."
"Garden. Now" Jan Di moved her hand to point outside and then walked to the outer doors.
Sun Mi was flabbergasted, Jan Di had simply barged in -she still didn't know how- and demanded to speak to Ji Hoo. What surprised her even more was Ji Hoo's reply.
"Okay." He put the cup back on the tray and stood up "I'll be back soon." he told Sun Mi before following Jan Di to the garden.
From what Sun Mi could see, Jan Di was speaking strongly and fast, moving her hands around while Ji Hoo simply looked at her. At one point he said something only for Jan Di to start talking again and he put his face up, sighing with his hands on his pockets. The next second, his boyfriend yelled so loudly she thanked the lack of neighbors. She thought she heard something along the lines of 'I'm family' or the like, but not even when he had been on his previous diatribe had he looked so fiercely angry. Of course, Jan Di yelled even louder and Ji Hoo turned his back on her only for Jan Di to follow and stand before him again. Both of them had a scream match that she thought only happened on dramas. Jan Di seemed to calm down after a bit, and she briefly touched Ji Hoo's chest while saying something else before bowing and leaving.
It really had taken less than five minutes.
On her way out, Jan Di didn't acknowledge Sun Mi, but she thought she saw tears.
Hearing the door of the garden closing, she quickly returned to an inconspicuous position and grabbed her phone. Just as she unlocked it, Ji Hoo came in and sat beside her again, resting his head on the back of the couch.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. Jan Di just wanted to say some things."
"About your gran- that man"
"Yes."
"Did she know he was your family?"
"No."
"So then?"
Silence stretched for a few seconds before Ji Hoo sat forward and placed his elbows on his knees. "I'll talk to him."
"What?" Literally minutes ago he'd ranted, yelled and been dead set on not meeting 'that man', and now after some few words from Geum Jan Di, he had changed his mind?
"I'll give him a chance to explain before shutting him off of my life. I don't know what reason he could have had, but the least I can do is listen till the end and then make my decision." And those words didn't seem to be his own either.
Sun Mi didn't like this.
"How did she get in?"
At this question, Ji Hoo seems to stop and think about it too.
To get into Ji Hoo's house, you have to be let in from inside or come with someone from the staff. Unless you're an F4 and you have an...
"I gave her an access card years ago. I...I didn't know she still had it."
Sun Mi took a breath and pressed her lips, trying not to sound petty. "And why would you give her a card?"
"In case of an emergency." Ji Hoo turned to see Sun Mi and noticed she was, again, not happy. He could see why though. "The reason I haven't given you one is because you're always with me anyways." That...sounded lame even to his ears.
"Really? Well, I wasn't with you today, was I? Or what if I want to bring groceries to surprise you with dinner? I guess I'll ask Geum Jan Di to borrow her card, then."
"Don't read into this, please."
"How come you never changed the security update?"
"There was no need to change the security code, and I completely forgot she had it." That part was 100% true. Ji Hoo had given Jan Di the access card during the trials period, when they almost got expelled from Shinhwa. He had wanted her to have a place to go to in case of emergency.
"Maybe you should change it now." Sun Mi suggested. "If she's just going to be barging in..." She added in a low voice, but Ji Hoo heard her.
"She wouldn't barge in without a good reason."
"You're just not going to change the code, right?"
Ji Hoo rubbed his face with both hands and suppressed a groan "No, I won't. Jan Di is a dear friend, same as F4. Her circumstances are particular, so if she ever finds herself in need, she has somewhere to go"
Sun Mi crossed her arms and huffed a bit, looking to the other side.
She didn't like what she had been feeling for the past week. It wasn't that Jan Di flirted or made overt passes on her boyfriend, on the contrary, she had been closer with Woo Bin when they went out sometimes. But still, she couldn't shake that feeling that told her there was more to whatever Jan Di and her boyfriend were in the past. Ji Hoo had said she had been a friend, not an ex, so that discarded that theory. After all, he had been honest about Min Seo Hyun and the deep love he had had for her. But still, there were small things that made her think their bond was not something to be taken lightly.
"I'm sorry, Sun Mi," Ji Hoo said after that uncomfortable silence, "but I feel really tired right now. Do you want me to call a driver for you?"
"Can't I stay?" Upset or not, she wanted to show him support with this issue about his grandfather.
"I'm only going to sleep now so…"
"I...We could sleep together if you wanted" She offered with a bit of a blush to her cheeks.
"Thank you, but I feel like I would just drain your energy. I promise to call you as soon as I wake up."
Of course, Sun Mi had stayed and Ji Hoo managed only 20 minutes of sleep. Looking to his left, he pulled the covers over Sun Mi and then, quietly exited the room.
Retrieving this phone and turning it on -he had turned it off after Jan Di had left- he received an onslaught of messages. Woo Bin and Yi Jung had also visited the clinic and caught a glimpse of...his grandfather. It truly was hard to even think of him like that because it hurt. Ji Hoo couldn't reconcile the man that carried him on his shoulders and the one that had popped out of nowhere, doctor of a small community.
Jun Pyo had also sent him a message when he had been let into the loop. Ji Hoo sighed and tossed his phone aside. He felt heavy and tired. His grandfather had been the most trusted advisor of Korea's President in the past, he was looked up to even more than their actual leader and he took pride in that. As a kid, he used to tell everyone who would hear, who his grandfather was; but that all changed after his parents death.
He could see his hands were trembling, his mind remembering how he had sat beside a car in flames or ran after a black car, whose passenger didn't even spare him a glance. Ji Hoo tried to get rid of those thoughts and went to his private study inside the library. He looked at the pictures of his family, feeling ashamed at not having visited in such a long time he couldn't remember how much it had actually been.
It was obvious that he wouldn't be able to run from this meeting, not only because his grandfather may take matters into his own hands and look for him, but also because he knew Jan Di wouldn't stop until he did, which made him hate her a little bit.
He ran through several scenarios, possible arguments and comebacks to whatever he might say. If Ji Hoo had learned something on his own, was to always be prepared for war.
It was still early afternoon when Jan Di and the doctor heard the noise of the door opening. They looked at each other confused as they had tended to all the patients of that day way faster thanks to Jan Di's help. When she stood up to go to the door, she was surprised to see Ji Hoo and Sun Mi next to it. After their 'talk', Jan Di thought he would take longer to come down and confront his grandfather. Apparently, Ji Hoo thought it best to just rip the band-aid.
"Seok Young-ssi," Jan Di turned to the man still sitting at his desk, "someone came to see you." She stepped out of the office and Ji Hoo strode inside, closing the door behind him. Jan Di exhaled the breath she had kept inside since she had left his house, hoping they could manage to find a solution to all the years they've spent apart.
"Jan Di-ssi?" she jumped a bit at the mention of her name.
"Oh, Sun Mi-ssi. I'm sorry, I'm a bit tense. Would you like some tea? I just brewed some a while ago." She moved to the kitchen and the Sun Mi followed. She really didn't know where she and Jan Di might be alone again, so she seized the opportunity.
"I wanted to say something." Jan Di looked at her and waited. "Please, stop forcing Ji Hoo to do something he doesn't want to do. This is very hard for him and you don't know how he was right after he found...that man here, after so many years."
Jan Di had the sense to feel guilty for the way she had acted before, but she also knew that this was necessary. "I apologize, I have an idea of what you must think of me right now, but...Ji Hoo needs this."
"To be yelled at so that he faces someone he didn't want to, yet?" Sun Mi snapped a bit, but Jan Di remained calm.
"No, a family." Sun Mi went to say something but found she couldn't. "After his parents death, it was very difficult for him, I know that, but it was also difficult for his grandfather. I'm not taking sides and I'm not trying to tell him what he should do, though it might look like it. He just needs this chance to see what could be. Either cut off all ties or build up a new relationship with the only living family member he has left."
Sun Mi just knew that Ji Hoo's parents had died when he was five, but she hadn't known about his grandfather until that day. "Did he tell you about it? The accident, I mean."
Jan Di poured two cups of tea. "Yes, years ago. This might bring back all of those bad memories so, please, Sun Mi-ssi, be his supporter. He's going to need someone in his corner."
Right in that moment, loud noises could be heard from the office and both women left the small kitchenette space. Jan Di excused herself to check that Ji Min hadn't woken up and Sun Mi stayed there, alone, worried about her boyfriend.
"Anything?" Jan Di asked when she came back after a minute.
"Not yet. Do you think we should-" but right that second, Ji Hoo came out of the office. His eyes were wet and his face was sad. Sun Mi quickly went to his side and took his arm. Ji Hoo looked at her and slowly nodded, as if to reassure he was okay. Then he turned to Jan Di and said something that shocked his girlfriend.
"I hate you."
Jan Di smiled and gave a small shrug "I know. Do you want some tea? Help yourself, it's over there." Then she went inside the office to check on his grandfather.
"Are you okay?" Sun Mi asked him after a minute. "We heard some yelling."
"Yeah, fine." Ji Hoo replied, drinking the tea that Sun Mi had rather passed on, the taste was nothing she had had before. Even at her lowest in Italy, she'd had money.
Jan Di came out then, practically pushing the doctor down the hall, sternly giving him some instructions.
"Do you want to go?" She asked.
"Not yet, I want to see Ji Min."
"I think Jan Di said he was asleep."
"He just woke up and he really wants to see you." Jan Di had come back right then. "But if you'd rather go, I'll let them know you have to work, he'll understand."
"No, that's okay, I came to see him in the first place." Ji Hoo stood up but didn't make a move to walk and Sun Mi looked at him curiously.
Jan Di turned around to look at him too and, after a second, she seemed to understand as she said "I told Seok Young-ssi to go rest. I'll stay until he wakes up and then Ji MIn and I will go back to the hotel, he's strong enough now. Don't worry, no more confrontations for today."
"Thank you." Ji Hoo answered in relief and then started moving.
To be honest, Sun Mi found it both amazing and creepy that Jan Di and Ji Hoo could simply know what the other was going to say or ask. But well, Jan Di had also guessed what Sun Mi had wanted to say back in the museum, so perhaps she was very perceptive. At least, she could clearly see how much Ji Hoo started to relax once he got to see Ji Min and play a game on his phone. While he did this, Jan Di excused herself to put everything in order as she was going back to the hotel that same afternoon, Woo Bin had already offered to take her..
Before Ji Hoo and Sun Mi left an hour later, Jan Di stopped them at the lobby.
"I wanted to apologize." They were both confused at this but then Jan Di took out a white card. "I shouldn't have just barged in, I just wanted to make you see reason, Ji Hoo-ah. I forgot I had this and I only used it because it was important. I'm sorry, to both of you." She offered the card to her friend.
"How come you have it with you?" Ji Hoo asked without taking the card. Jan Di opened her purse and took out her wallet as an answer. He hummed in understanding "Secret compartment?"
"Yes." Jan Di said.
"Mmm...what are you talking about?" Sun Mi asked.
"Jan Di's wallet lining ripped and when she sewed it back, she left it as a secret compartment. If you didn't know her wallet, you wouldn't see it or find it."
"And I've had the same wallet for years, I didn't actually remember the card until today. It simply stayed there after I left."
Sun Mi saw it was a very old looking wallet, fading cat designs on it, perhaps it had glitter at some point.
"Keep it." And she knew her boyfriend would say that. Jan Di tried to interrupt him but Ji Hoo cut her off. "It is, as you say, for emergencies. The reason I gave it to you hasn't changed. If you ever find yourself in trouble, you know you have a place to go."
Sun Mi saw Jan Di's eyes go from Ji Hoo's to her own in rapid succession, clearly understanding why this could -more actually would- bother her. But she knew Ji Hoo wasn't going to change his mind, so she gave Jan Di a small smile and a quick nod, which finally made her put the card back in her wallet.
"Okay, then, thank you. I promise not to use it again unless it's a real emergency." Jan Di told both of them and then looked at Ji Hoo. "You should go back, sleep for a bit."
"I already did." Ji Hoo said.
"Really? You slept for less than an hour, then. You have dark circles starting to show."
"I do not." Sun Mi was amazed to see that Jan Di was right and that her boyfriend was...pouting a bit?
"Yes, you do. Why are men always so stubborn? Sleep, go. You need the rest." Jan Di made a shooing motion with her hands but her annoyed face was for show, Sun Mi could see her smile trying to appear.
"Yes, eomeoni." Ji Hoo said while rolling his eyes.
Sun Mi was still thinking about their interaction while Ji Hoo grabbed her hand to take her back to his house.
"So, what was this important big thing you just had to tell me?" Woo Bin sat in front of Yi Jung, curious as to why he had a photo album on the center table. His friend had told him he had something urgent to tell him but that it had to be face to face, and there hadn't been the chance these past couple of days.
"I was going to tell you yesterday but then Ji Hoo called us about Ji Min being sick. After that, we didn't have a chance." Yi Jung took a deep breath. "I think I know who Ji Min's father is."
"What? How do you know that?"
Yi Jung carefully set the pictures of Ji Min before and after his makeover. Then, after Woo Bin had examined them, he opened the photo album to the page he wanted and it was then that he saw his friend's eyes change.
"Okay, wait, this doesn't prove anything. So, they look a bit alike…"
"A bit? Come on, Woo Bin, be serious."
"Shit, alright, they look alike a lot, except for the hair. But, why would you even think about this?"
"It was after Ji Min's makeover, it was as if I was seeing a younger version of him. Don't you think so?" Woo Bin nodded. "So, I started adding up some numbers and checking dates. Jan Di said Ji Min was born on August 10th, 2011 and that means, taking into account that he was preemie, she had gotten pregnant shortly after leaving the city."
"Yes."
"What if she left the city because she was pregnant?"
"No way." Woo Bin quickly shook his head. "She would've told him, she would've at least told us! I mean, we could've helped her."
"You know how Jan Di is."
"This is different. This is a change-my-whole-world-event different"
"Just think about it." Yi Jung asked and stood up. "After the trials, they started to spend time together, they got close, like very close, even though they claimed they weren't a couple." Woo Bin had to give him the reason on that point, but still, the dates didn't match.
"Still, no matter how great your theory is, this doesn't explain Ji Min's birth date. If Jan Di left pregnant, she should've given birth way before August."
"Maybe she was late."
"And when would she have gotten pregnant? I bet you have the exact date." Woo Bin mocked, but Yi Jung was also ready for that question.
"Not the exact date but I think I have the exact time period. New Caledonia."
"No way. Just, no way-"
"We saw her leaving his room one of those nights. Remember? I had actually forgotten until I started to try to figure it out. We were drunk and-"
"-she was closing the door to his cabin." Damn Woo Bin's memory, even while drunk he was able to remember everything he had seen, said or done. "I remember. It was late, or early, depending on how you see it."
"What was she doing there at that hour? She had supposedly gone to sleep hours before. And our dear friend had conveniently disappeared after dinner."
Shit, if Woo Bin was adding up the dates correctly, and he was because he excelled at math, Jan Di could've left pregnant and given birth late. He himself was a late baby, his mother always complained about how he had stayed almost 3 whole weeks past his due date.
Shit.
"Hold up a second." He clenched his eyes shut and shook his head before opening them again. "What are you expecting out of this? Are you going to confront Jan Di about it?"
"Of course not! She'll chew off my head. I'm going to ask him."
"Oh, no...Don't- Why have you- argh! Yi Jung, why couldn't you just have left this alone? What's your gain in this?"
"Giving that kid a father. Isn't that enough? Isn't that his right?"
"What if you're wrong?"
"What if I'm right?"
"But what if you're wrong?" Woo Bin asked once more because he needed to be the voice of reason. Yi Jung was a dog with a bone and he was not going to let it go without a fight. "I admit you have a very plausible theory but it could all just be a coincidence."
"You saw the pictures-"
"And I think that yes, they do look alike, but put my picture next to Ji Min's, we also look alike, or yours. He is a kid and we are Asian, we are going to look a bit alike."
"Oh, please, you're grasping at straws now. He might have similar features as all of us, but if you have to pick out who he looks like the most," Yi Jung picked up the photo, "he takes the prize."
Woo Bin knew that his friend had built a good case, he had an answer and an explanation for all possible scenarios, but they also couldn't just go and ask 'So, hey, you got Jan Di pregnant, right?'.
"Alright. So, why are you telling me?"
"Because I need your help. You also saw Jan Di that night in New Caledonia, and you're good with dates. I need backup."
Woo Bin sighed but knew Yi Jung wouldn't back off no matter what he said. "When are we doing this?"
"Right now."
"What!? Are you- No! It's way too soon!"
"Jan Di is leaving in two days, it's not too soon."
"Ji Min just got off the clinic. Don't you think the first thing he's going to do is calling or going to Jan Di to ask if this is true?"
"So? She should've told the truth."
"Who the fuck made you judge and jury?"
"Why are you so angry about it?"
"Because they're both my friends! I love both of them and you're just going to open a freaking huge can of worms! Just, give them some time, Yi Jung-ah."
They stared at each other for a while until Yi Jung sighed and raised his hands up "I'm gonna put these away. Can you mix me a martini or something?"
"Sure." Woo Bin exhaled and went to mix a couple of drinks while Yi Jung left the study. He thought it would be good if they could talk about Ji Min's paternity issue. Woo Bin had to recognize Yi Jung had made some very good points and he felt very inclined to believe what he had said.
Finishing the drinks up, he left them on the table when, suddenly, he realized.
"Fucking hell, So Yi Jung, I'm gonna kill you!" Woo Bin quickly took his coat and went to the garage. On his way there, he asked for his friend and the butler said he had just gone out. Stepping on the pedal, Woo Bin hoped he could catch his friend before he could open his mouth.
Yi Jung had really underestimated Woo Bin's new sports car. Damn, the thing could run!
"Didn't think you'd beat me here."
"Whatever, Yi Jung. You said you were going to wait."
"I never said that, you just thought I had agreed, but I didn't. This really can't wait."
"So Yi Jung." Woo Bin's voice left no room for doubt, he was angry. "Stop it right now."
"What are you two doing here?"
Both men turned around to see his friend standing on the door of his house.
"Ah, Ji Hoo-ah! I wasn't sure if you were home."
"Yi Jung-ah!" Woo Bin furiously whispered and grabbed Yi Jung's arm. "Stop this." They were simply staring at each other, which seemed weird to Ji Hoo, these two didn't fight so much.
"So...do you guys need help? Maybe you can come in and discuss whatever it is making you glare daggers at the other? I would really like to avoid blood on the carpet though, so if you want to fight go to the back garden."
Yi Jung quickly yanked his arm from Woo Bin's grasp and followed Ji Hoo inside. Woo Bin took a fortifying breath and followed as well. This night was not going to end well.
When they all had tea in front of them, silence reigned, no one said a thing. Ji Hoo didn't have an issue with it, but he could see the other two were either nervous or uncomfortable.
"What is it?" He asked after a while. "Have you two finally kissed or something?"
Of course, that did it. Nothing wounded Casanova and Don Juan more than putting their masculinity in question.
"Why is it that people think that? If I were to go gay, it wouldn't be with Yi Jung."
"Yah! I'd let you know I would be amazing as a lover."
Ji Hoo smiled and saw them arguing about who would rock the other's world the most before they both realized how utterly ridiculous the argument was.
"Okay, here's the deal. I'm going to ask you something and I want you to know that I expect the truth." Yi Jung said to a confused Ji Hoo.
"Which you have no right to ask, I might add, so don't feel obligated to answer." Woo Bin stated.
Ji Hoo simply nodded and waited.
"Did you have sex with Jan Di?" Of course, he wasn't expecting that so he choked so hard he thought, for a second, he had actually seen a white light at the end of a tunnel somewhere. "See?" He could hear Yi Jung still talking "He wouldn't have reacted like that if it wasn't true."
"Give him a second to breathe, idiot." Woo Bin gave Ji Hoo some hard pats on the back and he finally felt some aire filling his lungs.
"C-Could you repeat that? Actually don't. Why should I answer something like that?"
"We have a theory."
"You have a theory" Woo Bin interjected "I...well, I'm just here because...I actually don't know why I'm here." Yi Jung gave him a look "Okay, maybe I'm curious."
"A theory that somehow includes me and Jan Di sleeping together? I would never cheat on Sun Mi." Ji Hoo felt offended.
"Not right now, before she left." Yi Jung sat down again and so did Woo Bin.
"I still see no reason to answer."
"You kinda dated or something for a couple of months, right?"
"We never dated."
"But you were close, like..." Yi Jung brought his index fingers together.
"And that means we-"
"I believe you might be Ji Min's father."
The expression that set on Ji Hoo's features made both of his friends gulp. Ji Hoo, on the other hand, felt his heart give a hard beat, so hard it had hurt inside his torax. He could even feel his stomach dropping, as if he was on a rollercoaster.
"What...did you just say?" Ji Hoo asked again
"I believe you might be Ji Min's father." Yi Jung repeated.
"What makes you think that?"
"Come on, man! Jan Di's son."
"What about him?"
"He's like a mini you." Yi Jung gave Ji Hoo the pictures he had been gathering for the last week and Ji Hoo observed them carefully.
"This doesn't prove anything. Any kid of Ji MIn's age with the correct haircut would look like me."
"See?" Woo Bin interjected. "I told you so."
"Okay, then. Explain this: You were close after the trials, you spent almost everyday together, and then, suddenly, Jan Di mysteriously disappears without saying anything to anyone." Ji Hoo almost said she had left him a note, but that wasn't going to help his case. "She conveniently comes back with a child that looks like you and that has the exact age as the time she left. No wait, just two more things." Yi Jung told Ji Hoo because he could see his friend wanted to interrupt him. "Jan Di tells us nothing about Ji MIn's father, why? If he abandoned them, it would be easier to say he died or something and...we saw Jan Di leaving your room one of the nights we spent on New Caledonia. The dates match."
Ji Hoo turned to Woo Bin for confirmation.
"We did. We were drunk as hell but I'm sure of what I saw, it was very early so we were going to ask you but forgot after Jun Pyo started throwing a tantrum." He shrugged.
"Look, I know you want to curse me out of your house right now so I'm just going to ask this once. Is there any possibility, at all, as small as it may be, that you could be Ji Min's father? If you're sure you're not, I'll never mention this again."
"And why are you so interested in finding Ji Min's father?"
"Really?" Ji Hoo knew he had asked a stupid question. All F4 knew that if they could find him to beat him up, they would take turns in doing so.
Breathing in, he started to think, which made Yi Jung and Woo Bin exchange surprised looks. Ji Hoo had actually slept with Jan Di! Still waiting, they saw the exact moment their friend's complexion turned pale and then his eyes found theirs, an expression of disbelief starting to set.
"Fuck...Fuck! It is you, isn't it!?" Woo Bin couldn't believe this.
"I don't know! When we...after that..." Ji Hoo groaned and stood up "I guess there is...a very small possibility? But I still don't think Jan Di wouldn't tell me!"
Silence once more took hold of the living room while they all thought of different scenarios in their heads.
"Wow, you actually tamed Jan Di." Were the not so wise first words that left Yi Jung's mouth and Woo Bin had to stand between him and Ji Hoo as the latter was coming at Yi Jung with his fist raised high.
"Shut up. You have no idea what happened so just, shut up!"
"Ji Hoo-ah, chill! Calm down!" Woo Bin managed to keep him at bay. "And you! Stop spouting shitty remarks!"
"He can punch me, I was way out of line. I, uh...I apologize." Yi Jung awkwardly said.
Ji Hoo scoffed and went back to sit, looking at the photographs one more time.
"We were...I was careless just one time. But it was alright, supposedly. And she confirmed it. And we took precautions after that."
"How did she know it was alright?" Woo Bin asked this time.
Ji Hoo moved his hands over his face and groaned "I can't believe I'm telling you this…" He breathed for a couple of seconds, trying to control his body tremors. "Her period came. Any other details you'd like to hear?"
"Sorry. We're just trying to cover our bases, and well...Ji Hoo, you should have taken care of it."
"What?" He looked positively murderous again and Woo Bin raised his hands trying to show he meant no harm.
"I didn't mean it like that! I mean that you should have taken her to a clinic or something if you weren't sure..."
"I was going to, we were going to but...Damn it! There is no way she didn't tell me, okay? If Ji Min was mine she-" Ji Hoo started to go back in time, thinking about his last days with Jan Di. If she had been pregnant before leaving Seoul, she didn't show any symptoms, the only thing he could think of was… "She was tired."
"What?" Yi Jung was confused.
"Before she left, I remember she started to sleep a lot. I joked and told her I had given her my sleepiness…"
"You're right. I remember I found her sleeping in our lounge a couple of times, but I assumed she was just working too much." Woo Bin said.
"Wait." Yi Jung raised his hands to show he wasn't trying to offend anyone again. "You said you were careless one time and then took precautions...This happened more than once? Like...often?"
Ji Hoo avoided both of their gazes but there was no way to hide the blush. Yi Jung and Woo Bin exchanged an incredulous look because this was way more than they were expecting. They thought whatever had happened between them had been a one time occurrence, a mistake, but from Ji Hoo's words and reactions...
"How could you say you never dated?" It was the first time Woo Bin sounded angry. "It was clear to anyone that saw her that Jan Di liked you, that she had stars in her eyes every time she looked at you! Hell, Jun Pyo knew it and that's why he made his move as soon as you left after Seo Hyun. Did you use her?" Woo Bin grabbed Ji Hoo by the collar and forced him to stand up "Did you use Geum Jan Di?"
Ji Hoo looked Woo Bin in the eyes, both breathing hard. If it had been anyone else, Ji Hoo might have pushed back and said it wasn't any of his business, but he knew how much Woo Bin had cared for Jan Di back then. He just hoped he didn't get punched too bad.
"It...You could say it started that way."
"You son of a bitch." Cue the punch, but Ji Hoo easily blocked it and went to the other side of the sofa.
"I said it started out that way! It wasn't like that all the time."
"Even if it was one time! How could you do that to her!?"
"I admit I was an asshole, okay? I was destroyed because of what I have heard about Seo Hyun and it just happened!"
"Those things don't 'just happen'!"
"Okay, guys. Calm down." Yi Jung went to stand in the middle. "We were here to find out if there was a possibility Ji Hoo was the father, not how it happened."
"He said he used her!" Woo Bin bellowed.
"It was only that once! That first time, okay!? She knew it, too! I shouldn't have done it, yes, but she also knew, I told her!"
That had an effect, both Yi Jung and Woo Bin were shocked at this new piece of information.
"Still, she was younger and a virgin from what she had said, and you took advantage of that." Woo Bin was relentless.
"I know. Don't you think we talked about it? It wasn't supposed to happen again, we just…" Ji Hoo tried to get rid of the memories from his mind, but he couldn't.
Truth to be told, he had been flushed with them from the first moment he saw Jan Di on that street a week ago, but he had pushed them down. He had a girlfriend who he loved and Jan Di was a mother. True, they both could still feel the bond that drew them together in the first place, but neither had acted on it because, whatever it was that they had, was in the past. But now, hearing that he may be Ji Min's father, having to remember how their first time happened, he couldn't help it. Ji Hoo could see everything again, in amazing clarity: The stolen moments in New Caledonia, their first time, he could still hear the sounds that had escaped them both. But it didn't end there. Back in Seoul, in this very house, they had shared so many moments...That water fight where they ended up soaking his mattress; they had spent hours on that couch watching series and movies...and more. He had subconsciously left that kitchen counter spot clean, where he always hoisted her up whenever they cooked.
Geum Jan Di could make him laugh like no other and the warmth her arms seemed to possess...
Yi Jung and Woo Bin were possibly -definitely- imagining all the scenarios in which they might have been together, but they really had no idea. If the walls of his house could talk, he was sure even them, with all their experience in the matter, would blush.
"First, I find my grandfather; now, I could be Ji Min's father; what's next? A secret sibling will pop-up out of nowhere?" He really couldn't take much more of this.
Woo Bin glared at Yi Jung at Ji Hoo's comment. This was one of the reasons why he didn't want this to happen.
"So, what now?" Yi Jung asked.
"Now, you're going to help me find out if this is true. And no, you are not to tell or ask Jan Di about any of this. If you're wrong, then I don't want to cause her undue stress."
"But how are we supposed to do that? Jan Di isn't just going to let us take Ji Min away for an afternoon just so we can draw blood."
"Take a hair sample, steal his toothbrush, I don't care. You came to me with this so you better see to it until the end." Yi Jung clamped his mouth shut, he could feel the ire coming off Ji Hoo like waves. "For now, please, leave me alone." Without another word, Ji Hoo went to his room.
Yi Jung started to pick up all of his evidence while Woo Bin exhaled loudly. With a hard slap to the back of his head and a "You're an asshole.", he left his brother behind.
In a hotel room at that same moment, Jan Di was sitting on the couch drinking some wine. Not that she knew lots about this particular beverage, but wine was the one liquor that could make her cheeks flush read and her limbs relax like no other. She wasn't drunk by any means, just had that fuzzy feeling in her mind, which was what she needed right now, when the tears were running down her eyes even if she wasn't either sobbing or hiccuping.
How much of a hypocrite could she be? Telling Ji Hoo to man up and face his grandfather? She was no better, not telling him that she had given birth to his son eight years ago. It had been hard, to say the least, a living hell at first...Years gave her the patience and the experience she should have gotten much later, but she did it. Her mother helped, her father helped, even Kang San had matured right in front of her eyes when it was time to take care of a small Ji Min, often having much more patience than Jan Di when her son cried at nights, sacrificing his own rest to let her sleep.
'I hate you.' he had said earlier and she scoffed. She knew what he meant. They used to joke about how there were days when they hated each other, or didn't like the other as much, for whatever reason. It didn't matter though. They discovered that sharing the love they did, although different, let them show the ugly parts of themselves.
What would Ji Hoo say if he found out? Probably hate her for real. Jan Di hated herself some days. But her son didn't need to bear the weight of her sins.
She had money. She had carefully and steadily been saving up for Ji Min's education for high-school. If everything went according to plan, they would be able to move back to the city and she would put him in a good school, giving Ji Min all the opportunities she hadn't had. Would that had been easier with Ji hoo? Probably, but how difficult would that have been for Ji Min? Knowing that her mother had somehow been the other woman...True, Ji Hoo and Seo Hyun hadn't been together when her thing with Ji Hoo had happened, but after he left for Paris, it was clear and she wasn't going to stick around to see, holding all of her hopes in a 'what if'.
In a way, her father's debts were a blessing in disguise, it allowed her to escape far away and start over...She, however, owed Ji Min his father. Jan Di had once almost told Ji Hoo everything, calling him when she started to feel her son moving inside of her for the first time. But she didn't, she couldn't. She had been a selfish coward, perhaps because of her youth and naiveté. After that, she had fantasized about what would happen if she met Ji Hoo by chance. Jan Di used to tell herself that if she ever found him when they finally moved back to the city, then she would tell him. She had even promised that to herself.
So much for a promise.
Memories came back to her, of the time she had spent with Ji Hoo, next to him or in his arms, in his bed…The second time they've been together, the way they had discovered each other frantically but intently. She had practically found a second home in his house and Ji Hoo had openly given her places within his own sanctuary. The kitchen spot where he would always hoist her up whenever they cooked, or the sofa he bought for them to share time in the library within his private study.
Unbeknown to her, the man that occupied her thoughts also had her on his own.
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Jan Di found her thoughts going through everything that had happened in just a short day. Just yesterday, she had been home, back in the city, going to work when Jun Pyo had suddenly surprised her and dragged her to a department store to buy new clothes. Next thing she knew, she was in a beautiful island with F4 and Ga Eul, who was also dumbfounded by the guys' antics
She wasn't going to lie, she had had a great time, eating marvelous and exquisite foods, strolling down a breathtaking beach and touring around the city. But there were also things tampering down her mood.
First and most important, there was Jun Pyo. It was painfully obvious he liked her. Why? She couldn't tell. She didn't hate him anymore, that much was true, but she couldn't find it in her to like him, at least romantically. Jun Pyo had gone above and beyond to show her a good time that day, beginning with the trip, then the private lunch, the call to her family...Now that had almost made her cry. He was caring, he just didn't know how to be humble; and after her almost drowning episode, Jun Pyo had outdone himself by treating her to a table to herself, putting in her plate only meals rich in protein and sodium. The cherry of the night had been the fireworks which she really loved, but her smile couldn't last as he caught Jun Pyo watching her with a smile of his own.
Second, the visit to the fortune-teller. Ga Eul had begged her to go because the woman was supposed to be really accurate in her readings. She had reluctantly gone with her and sat down at a table filled with cards and candles. The black woman had taken her hand and stared at it for a while. Jan Di started to get nervous but then she finally told her something that still gave her goosebumps whenever she thought about it.
"I see a man. Your future husband. A soulmate." She seemed to say there was a man on the island who she will marry, but before she could ask about it, the woman continued "You will lose something important, as a woman. Happiness will come, but then…" and here the woman started to cry with an anguished expression "Sadness, so much sadness, you'll cry many tears before you can be happy again." The most she understood about the whole thing was that she'll cry but then she'll be happy, which rather seemed a total scam. How many people had she cheated like that?
Ga Eul had been absolutely happy with her own reading, about a guy close to her who loved women, but who will learn to love only her in the end. If her friend was happy, so was she…
And last, Yoon Ji Hoo. He had been on the plane and was probably the only reason why Jan Di hadn't demanded to be put in another plane back home as soon as they landed. Why was he here? She couldn't find time to talk to him alone and even if she did, she wasn't sure she could ask him what she really wanted to know. What happened back in France? Why isn't unnie here with you? Jan Di still felt her heart beat fast whenever she put her eyes on him, and it was Ji Hoo who had gone and saved her from drowning. She was kinda happy she was unconscious at the time because she would have probably died from embarrassment.
Jan Di had tried to find Ga Eul to go for a walk but she didn't answer her door, she was probably already sleeping. Thing is, she was, once again, feeling restless about Jun Pyo. She had come out from a long, hot shower just to find him in her room. She was wary at first, but then he just kneeled and put an anklet on her, saying that if she lost it, she was dead.
She tried to stop him, to tell him she couldn't accept it, because Jan Di knew this was just another way to show his affection; but Jun Pyo just shushed her and smiled, saying he'll see her the next day.
Thus, Jan Di was now walking around, trying to ease her mind of Jun Pyo's feelings, the fortune-teller predictions and her own heart.
Of course, as the universe likes to play pranks on us, Jan Di ended up finding the one person who made her line of thought stop with just one glance.
Ji Hoo noticed her on the bridge, and just kept looking at her. Jan Di decided to go to him.
He was alone, sitting on a sailboat, with the wind playing with his long bangs. She slowly walked to him, and when he said nothing, she sat beside him.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, neither saying anything, until she noticed he reached for something on his left.
"Do you know what Lily of the Valley means? You'll definitely be happy."
Jan Di smiled at this, she remembered what the young girl had told her earlier that day "It's for lovers to give to each other."
Ji Hoo seemed surprised at this "You know about it."
"At the market today…" was all she said.
"I used to come here frequently with that person." Ji Hoo spoke "She said it was very similar to New Zealand so she liked this spot."
He is talking. Jan Di thought, so decided to seize this rare occurrence "Is she doing well?"
It took him some seconds to answer "She should be." Jan Di knew something had happened, she fought with her curiosity for a bit before asking what she wanted to know, but she regretted doing so as soon as she heard him asking her something, instead of answering. "Why did you ask me to go after her?" She was shocked. Why did she do it? Of course it was because she knew he loved Seo Hyun! She felt as if she was dying inside when she told him to go, but what could she do? Who was she to hope for more with a man as amazing as him?
"I finally realized," he kept going, "what a pathetic man I am. There was nothing for me to do but wait all day in an empty apartment."
"But," she interjected "just spending time together would've been very blissful." Right?
"Do you know what it's like being nothing more but a burden to the person you love?" Jan Di remembered the time he had yelled at her, asking her to stop meddling in his affairs, and felt the impulse to answer 'Yes'. Thing was, Ji Hoo looked so sad at that moment that she rather stayed silent.
"You called them 'pathetic fools who can't do anything on their own'."
She needed to say something, quickly "That was-"
"You were right. I can't do anything other than love one woman like a habit. What a pathetic fool."
Jan Di felt her own words stabbing at her, causing physical pain. Was there something she could say to make him feel better?
She couldn't, so she lowered her gaze and bit her lip, thinking about Seo Hyun and Ji Hoo being happy in France, about what could have possibly gone so wrong for him to come back alone. She knew she wasn't going to get a direct answer and the silence this time began to feel uncomfortable for her.
"I'm leaving." She put on her best smile and looked at him "You shouldn't stay out here for too long, you'll catch a cold." Way to nag him Jan Di, she berated herself as she started to turn around to leave.
But suddenly, the scenery before her was blurry and she found herself tightly held between Ji Hoo's arms.
Jan Di was shocked, Ji Hoo was sitting but still her body was flush against his chest, his hands were on her waist and her neck, she could smell his hair scent and feel his skin on her neck.
"I'm cold. It's so cold I can't take it." And even if he claimed to be feeling cold, Jan Di felt as if his hands were scalding hot.
Ji Hoo said nothing more, he just tightened his hold on her and Jan Di's heart started beating in a rhythm she was sure couldn't be healthy. Worse was, she knew he could feel it by how much her chest was heaving, but still, he wasn't letting go.
Slowly, feeling a bit scared even, Jan Di raised the hand she had free to try to hug him back; she didn't have much space though and ended up just trying to hold him close by reaching his shoulder. Her right hand was trapped between their bodies, but thanks to it, she now could feel it wasn't only her heart the one beating fast.
There they stayed, holding each other close, breathing in the other's existence. Jan Di felt herself like crying but held it in; if she cried now, this would end and she didn't want that. Ji Hoo was looking for comfort in her, but at the same time, she was being comforted too, for all the times she had cried thinking about him, about never being able to have him like this, and now she did, she had him, even if it was in this fleeting seconds, so she wanted to make the most of it.
A moment later, Ji Hoo let his hold go, Jan Di's lungs received the air they were longing for but her heart was now feeling dizzy. He didn't let her go completely, his hands stopped at her upper arms, fingers grazing the thin cloth covering her and she raised her eyes to him. Ji Hoo was looking at Jan Di as if he was seeing her for the first time, she watched as his eyes roamed from his own hands to her shoulders, her neck, her lips…
Her heart did a somersault when he did, Ji Hoo kept on watching and now looked directly into her eyes but only to ask a silent question. Jan Di wasn't sure, she wanted it to be, but what if she was just imagining things? She would make a fool of herself.
One of Ji Hoo's hands went up her arm and gently held her face, asking again.
Jan Di lowered her eyes to his lips and then heard Ji Hoo taking a breath before leaning in.
And then he kissed her.
He was kissing her, a laundry girl, a commoner, a not so tall, not so thin, not so pretty girl.
His lips just touched hers and remained there, both surprised at this new development and contact. It didn't feel wrong, but Jan Di couldn't hold her tears back anymore, and Ji Hoo felt the salty drop against his cheek.
He left her lips and saw the tears. He sighed, thinking he shouldn't have done that, but then Jan Di rested her forehead on his and went to touch his hand, interlacing their fingers.
Ji Hoo had been surprised to see her there so late, alone, and not very much covered; so when she went to him, he started talking, he wanted to pour out all his sadness and anger. Yes, anger; and even though he knew he felt some of it for Jan Di for telling him to go after Seo Hyun, he also knew it was misplaced, it wasn't as if she put a gun against his head and forced him to follow his first love, she gave him a push and he followed it.
He knew she felt bad about it, and for a brief second, he was glad someone else felt a bit of what he was feeling; after all, Jan Di liked him, that much he knew.
So when he looked at her face after hugging her, he was surprised at the many emotions playing on her features, this was not the face of someone who simply liked you. She wasn't starred-eyed or looking at him hungrily like some other women did when they noticed who he was; Ji Hoo felt as if Jan Di's eyes longed for him and it was like when you were dreaming about missing a step and your whole body shook, that's what he felt right then, a jolt inside him that pushed him again, but this time, towards the girl before him.
He asked, or at least, he thought he did when he looked at her. Jan Di was shy and didn't want to look at him; usually, this would have led him to stop whatever he was doing, but this time, he surprised himself by trying one more time and deliberately touching her face; this time Ji Hoo got the answer he wanted. He didn't think twice and took her lips in a chaste kiss. Not long after this however, Ji Hoo felt Jan Di crying and thought he had misread her.
But now with her hand in his and her forehead against his own, he knew it had been okay, although it wasn't.
What were they doing?
What was he doing?
Ji Hoo found himself not wanting to think about the answers right then, so he leaned back and jumped out of his seat, standing before her this time and taking both of her hands before kissing her again.
There were so many things he should be thinking of right now, so many, but he refused to do so. Jan Di was chasing away the cold with her small hands and soft lips, she didn't know how to kiss, but he could feel her trying her best to follow him. Ji Hoo's hands led her own to his neck where Jan Di found leverage to be more comfortable, she took a step forward and Ji Hoo felt her body against his own once more. He took one hand to her waist and pressed her to him, she didn't seem to mind. His other hand went to her face again, and he was glad to not feel it wet his time.
Her breaths were becoming shallower and when she broke the kiss to take some air, he nipped gently at her lower lip and stared at her eyes. Jan Di was surprised, he could tell by the increase of temperature on her cheeks, but she then did something he wasn't expecting… She smiled.
She smiled and Ji Hoo felt his own lips tugging at its corners to follow her lead. He couldn't find the hollowness of minutes ago inside him no more, not when Jan Di's hand went from his neck to his hair, gently and slowly touching the strands of it; not when her round brown eyes looked at him with so much confidence he literally felt a foot taller.
"You okay?" He finally found the courage to ask.
"Yes, I'm okay." she said while closing her eyes and nodding gently.
He took it as an invitation and delved one more time into her lips, but he tried this time to show her another way to do so. Ji Hoo slowly opened his mouth and captured her gasp in it, saving it for memory for later. Gentle nips and small bites, they shared them; he wouldn't venture further than that, but was glad to find Jan Di following him in tandem. His hand left her hip and caressed her eyelids, her cheeks and found home in the skin of her neck. Jan Di hugged his waist and he could feel her hands grabbing small fists of his shirt, trying to find some balance in their actions.
Am I the first? The thought appeared in Ji Hoo's mind without him conjuring it after remembering Jan Di's declaration to Jun Pyo: I haven't even had my first kiss yet! had been her words.
But that had been then, this was now. Still, perhaps he was, after all he could feel her nervousness and inexperience, though also, her confidence in him and her desire to learn. This, unexpectedly, made him tremble, he could feel his fingers shaking against her and he hoped she couldn't notice. It was more than enough Jan Di had felt his heart racing when he hugged her.
Minutes went by with the couple sharing kisses, touches and hugs; but when a particular strong gust of wind passed and made her skin get goosebumps, Ji Hoo stopped.
Was he breathing hard?
"We should go back or we will really get a cold." He started rubbing her arms.
She simply nodded, not looking at his eyes.
They turned around and started walking.
Ji Hoo wanted to, but didn't know if she would allow it… He decided to take a risk and slipped her hand in his while looking ahead. When he got a light squeeze for an answer, he couldn't help but smile.
Jan Di held onto his hand and walked beside him, noticing he was taking shorter and slower steps so she could catch up. Did that really happen? Have they really kissed just a minute ago? She couldn't believe it still, perhaps it was all a dream from all the food she ate earlier, but she wouldn't pinch her arm, what if she woke up?
"Ah, I forgot something" Ji Hoo said a few meters before the bungalows "I'll go back, but I'll walk you to your door."
"It's okay, you can go if you need to. I'm just around that one" She pointed to one of the many little huts. He looked torned between deciding what to do "I'm okay," she assured him once more, "don't take too long though, you might catch a cold." She felt as if she had warned him about it too many times that night.
"I won't," he squeezed her hand gently "I know I won't."
"Good." Jan Di knew she needed to let go, why did it seem so hard to do so? "Good night, Ji Hoo sunbae."
He brought her hand to his lips and left a sweet kiss there "Good night, Geum Jan Di."
She claimed back her hand, turned around and ran, because if she didn't she might want to stay in that spot for the rest of the night.
Jan Di's chest hurt from how hard her heart beat, but she didn't stop until he heard a voice that startled her.
"Yah! You should have told me if you were going somewhere! You got me all worried!" It was Jun Pyo
Why is he here right at this time?
"Am I a kid? I can go for a walk by myself! What's wrong with that?"
"I thought you fell into a pool or got bitten by a snake! How could you worry me like that?"
I was bitten.... As soon as she thought this, her cheeks flushed red, she needed to do something before Jun Pyo noticed.
"I'll be careful, I promise."
He just sighed with his forefinger and thumb pinching the bridge of his nose. "Don't do that again." He went to hug her but Jan Di flinched and took a step back; she realized her mistake when her eyes went up and saw Jun Pyo hurt.
"Goo Jun Pyo...I'm sorry." She was, she knew more certainly now that she couldn't return his feelings. "Listen, I...about you-"
"It's late! You should go to sleep." And with that he started walking to his own bungalow.
"Wait! Jun Pyo...Goo Jun Pyo!" He didn't turn around, he didn't want to listen to her rejecting him because he still had more to show her, he knew that if he could just show her how much he loved her, she would start loving him back.
What Jun Pyo didn't know was that Jan Di sat on her bed and hugged herself, thinking about the boy who had hugged her minutes ago. She didn't want to lose that feeling by letting Jun Pyo hug her. When she finally lay down and closed her eyes, she couldn't help but replay over and over the kisses she had shared with her sunbae.
Haven't been able to update the Pinterest board yet, but hopefully I'll do it this weekend.
Thank you for reading!