Hello, my lovelies!
Happy New 2021! (A little bit late, I know) Thank you so much for still being here, I hope that you and your families are all in good health. Let us hope this year gives us something better than the last.
Work in December was incredibly hectic for me, I barely had time to sleep, but I still want to continue with this story, even is it's proving a bit difficult. I'm very thankful for all of you and your reviews and your constant support to my stories. Truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This is the second part of the remembrance (for now) as we see a bit more of what happened with Ji Hoo and Jan Di after that first night between them. What will happen now?
Don't forget to go to the Pinterest board ;) Oh, and I also have Ko-fi now if you'd like to support me in any way, (ko-fi. (com/) nerwent) Just erase the () and spaces. I swear I don't understand why FF has such hard politics about this.
I have to thank JHsgf82 for helping me edit this chapter. Boo, you're always my best support. Love you!
A loud knock on the door woke him up.
"Room service!"
He grunted and closed his eyes again. His door was locked and the cleaning staff didn't have a master key. So, hearing his door opening made him quickly sit up.
"Oh!" A young woman stared at one of the most handsome men she had ever set eyes upon, and by the look of it, said man was naked under the covers. "I'm so sorry, I just- I-"
"Please come back later." His voice was deeper than usual, no doubt because he had just woken up.
"Yes sir, please excuse my rudeness. This won't happen again." The girl quickly turned around and left his room.
Ji Hoo sighed and looked to his left, confirming that Jan Di had left. He touched the sheets and found them cold, so she must have done so a while ago. Suddenly, a huge discomfort came from under the covers, and the joys of being a male saluted him at full mast.
He went to the bathroom but still felt weird. Upon closer inspection, he found out exactly what the cause was.
Dried blood.
He covered his face with his hands and groaned. Now he had really done it. He thought he had felt bad the previous day when he woke up and saw his face, the face of the guy who betrayed his brother by kissing the girl he liked. Ji Hoo couldn't even look in the mirror right now; how the hell was he supposed to face Jun Pyo if he couldn't even face himself?
His whole body carried proof of his claim on Jan Di.
Ji Hoo got into the shower and let the water wash over him. He lathered his body in soap and felt the light sting of some scratch marks on his back and arms; also, a distinctive tiredness was set deep in his lower back and hips.
He had slept with Geum Jan Di...and he didn't regret it.
True, he had wanted to forget; he had just wanted to shut off his brain for a while and block out whatever article he'd read. He had wanted warmth, her warmth. And she had willingly given it.
Still, he had taken advantage; he had gone all the way, and she...Jan Di had been so beautiful and so trusting. Which once again made him groan.
No condom. Damn it…
Ji Hoo could pride himself on being one of the smartest people in school, hell, in the country, but what he did the previous night had been right down stupid. How had he not used protection? Forget about STDs; he was safe, obviously, so was Jan Di, but what about pregnancy?
He had finished inside of her, and even if there was a very, very, low chance of her getting pregnant after just one time of doing it...there was a chance.
He finished his shower and went to the room to look for something to wear, although he immediately knew he could only wear a long-sleeved shirt today. With a pair of bermudas on, he sat on the bed to put on his sandals. In the process, he pulled the covers aside, and a stain on the white fabric caught his eyes. A deep red stain.
Against his better judgement, Ji Hoo furiously blushed. He covered his face with his hands and the memories he had tried to avoid having all morning came rushing to the front of his mind.
The softness of her skin, the tightness of her body, the surrender in her gestures, the desire in her eyes, the lustful gaze she gave him when she boldly sucked on his thumb...All of the things that added to the image he had of Geum Jan Di. There was no way he would ever forget that night and what they had done together.
Will she avoid me today?
Ji Hoo knew they needed to talk, and the sooner, the better. He threw the cover off his bed and stuffed it in the hamper, praying that the person who came cleaning didn't think much of it. He finished strapping on his sandals and then, in a rush moment, took out Jan Di's anklet from his drawer and put it on his right wrist.
At breakfast, he saw Yi Jung and Woo Bin were missing, though their dates were already eating some fruit. He went to serve himself some soup when Jun Pyo came in.
"Yo, how come you're up so early?" his friend asked Ji Hoo.
"Room service woke me up, and I couldn't go back to sleep."
"Ugh, everyone is sleeping in today. Yi Jung and Woo Bin, I can understand, but even Jan Di is tired." Ji Hoo's hand faltered while picking up a bowl, but he quickly maneuvered it and saved the dish. "Careful there." Jun Pyo went to take a plate for himself.
"You saw Jan Di so early?" He tried to sound nonchalant and hoped he was achieving it.
"Yeah, well...not that early, I mean, is 5am too early?" It was, but Ji Hoo wouldn't say it. "I took her on a helicopter ride, but even with all the noise, she kept falling asleep. I told her we should get some breakfast, and she told me she would rather sleep some more."
Ji Hoo could definitely understand why she needed the extra rest and willed himself to remain stone-faced. He simply nodded to his best friend and took the ladle to serve himself the soup he was set on having this morning. He was on the third scoop of food when Jun Pyo suddenly grabbed his hand.
"What? You want some?"
"No...Just be careful, um, it's hot."
"Thanks."
Breakfast time came and went, and because there were only four people present, the girls suggested a volleyball game. Soon after they had started playing, Yi Jung and Woo Bin came by, freshened up and just with a bit of a hangover.
"Ga Eul and Jan Di will have something to eat and meet us at the beach in a while."
It was a three against three game, and Jun Pyo's team was killing it. After two humiliating defeats, everyone decided that the beach sounded great.
Going back and shedding off some clothes, everyone wanted to just get into the water as soon as possible.
"Yoon Ji Hoo, aren't you just burning up with that shirt? We're on the beach, man. Just take it off."
No way in hell. "I'm okay, Woo Bin-ah, thanks, though."
The marks wouldn't fade for at least one more day, or that's what he assumed, so even if he was hot, he wasn't about to get teased and bullied by F3 if they saw his back.
Ji Hoo took another swig of his bottle when he heard Jun Pyo's voice.
"What's that? It doesn't suit you."
The anklet.
Think fast.
"It's not mine, it's Jan Di's. I bumped into her yesterday, and it fell off her. I was thinking of returning it today."
That sounded okay; he even looked into Jun Pyo's eyes, marveling at his capacity to right-out lie.
Yi Jung, Woo Bin, and their girls started to run when they finally saw the lake and dove into it as fast as they could.
Ji Hoo scanned the place and saw Ga Eul in one of the beach chairs and another girl near the shore in a white striped vintage swimsuit, laughing at her friend's antics. It was Jan Di. But she looked different somehow. Perhaps it was the fact he could see her shoulders today? The swimsuit fitted her in a captivating way, not showing too much skin but still giving a bit of eye-candy to whoever was watching. Her hair was up in a small ponytail and a large white flower completed her attire.
She simply looked breathtaking.
Ji Hoo turned to his side, hoping Jun Pyo hadn't noticed his reaction, and was glad to find that his friend was as mesmerized as he had been.
He sighed and went to her, taking long strides. When Jan Di noticed him approaching, her breath hitched.
"Hey."
"Hi." He could see her eyes darting around, but there was no time right then. Jun Pyo was surely already heading their way.
"This fell off of you yesterday," he said, showing her his wrist.
"What?"
"We bumped into each other while you were on your way to your room, and this fell." He quickly took the anket off and gave it to her.
"I don't-"
"Yah! Geum Jan Di! You lost what I gave you!"
Jun Pyo gave it to her? Ji Hoo hadn't known this, and just then, he understood why Jun Pyo had so roughly grabbed his wrist at breakfast; he must have seen it then.
"I-" She hesitated and looked at Ji Hoo. Please, Jan Di-ah… "I bumped into Sunbae yesterday as I was going to my room and it must have fallen then, I didn't notice. Sorry, Goo Jun Pyo." She turned her eyes to him. "And thank you for returning it, Sunbae."
Jun Pyo made an annoyed face and dragged her away, probably to scold her some more.
Ji Hoo could feel his heart racing and his conscience screaming at him; that had been a close call.
The guys got out of the lake and rested on the beach chairs, laughing a bit at how Jun Pyo was scolding Jan Di for her 'scant' attire.
"Come on, man. Truth is you want her to wear a bikini, huh?" Yi Jung teased him.
"Wha- you...how...Aish! Shut up!"
Woo Bin waved his hand at Jan Di to let her know she was free as they entertained their leader. Her swimsuit wasn't scant at all, but Jun Pyo was very innocent when he wanted to be.
Jan Di went to Ga Eul's side, feeling now more conscious about what she had chosen to wear today. She had just wanted to look pretty, and that suit made her feel so.
"Stupid Jun Pyo…"
She sat next to Ga Eul and decided to simply enjoy the sun.
When she had seen Ji Hoo coming to her, she had been nervous; after all, the last time Jan Di had seen him was when she had left him sleeping naked in his bed.
Stop it, don't start going there again.
She couldn't help it. What had happened the previous night had kept playing again and again in Jan Di's head, and she had already been caught by Ga Eul blushing for no reason, so she needed to be more careful.
But it was proving difficult. As she put on some more sunscreen lotion, her hands caressed her skin, and she would linger in certain places, hug herself or delicately touch her neck, her thigh...Ji Hoo, amidst his sadness and desperation had been truly careful and loving with her, so she couldn't find in herself any kind of regrets.
Little did she know that her small touches were being followed by a pair of caramel brown eyes. Ji Hoo couldn't tear his gaze from her, at the way she seemed to be dancing to her own slow, sensual melody.
"Doesn't Jan Di look different?" The question startled him, and he turned his head so fast that his neck hurt.
"Is it the swimsuit?" Woo Bin asked.
"No, I don't think so. I don't know. You've noticed too, right, Ji Hoo?"
"Not really."
"Oh, come on, I saw you looking"
"I was actually thinking about preparing the boat for going fishing for a bit."
"Jun Pyo said we were going to take the horses," Woo Bin added with a hand motion.
"Tell him I'll have to pass."
Both friends simply shrugged and kept on doing other things. Jun Pyo was on the phone with someone right then, so they assured Ji Hoo they would cover for him.
Quickly glancing back at Jan Di, watching her lying down on the chair and laughing at something Ga Eul had said made Ji Hoo's lip quirk up. He turned around and went to his room; he needed to change before setting up the boat.
Things were looking good, and he was about to leave when a flash of white made him turn his head.
"Are you going somewhere?" Jan Di had a red skirt, a white blouse, and a huge hat on.
"Fishing."
"With this boat?" She looked a bit surprised.
He thought about the time he had learned to sail and how it brought him peace whenever he needed a bigger escape than just motorcycle rides. "So long as there's a white sail and wind, I can go anywhere I want to," he explained, and she lightly smiled. Ji Hoo sighed. "We need to talk."
Again, Jan Di seemed surprised. She had thought he would avoid the topic.
"Okay."
"Do you want to come along?"
"Can I?"
"I wouldn't have invited you if you couldn't, right?" He said with a smile and an extended hand. Jan Di quickly made her way to where he was and took his hand. He helped her get on.
Ji Hoo thanked the man who helped set up things, and they parted.
The first ten minutes or so, they remained quiet; Jan Di watched Ji Hoo throw a line into the water with his fishing rod and waited.
"Jan Di-ah?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm okay."
"I mean...physically." It was funny that they were both so nervous with this after what had already happened.
"I...Yeah, I'm okay in that aspect, too."
New silence.
"About last night…," Ji Hoo started, but Jan Di didn't follow, "you left."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I thought it would be weird to leave in the morning. What if someone was around?"
"You should've woken me up."
"No." She turned to him. "You needed the rest."
Ji Hoo understood what she meant. He had been stressed out and depressed over Seo Hyun, and he hadn't been sleeping properly. He wondered for how long had Jan Di known.
"Thank you." He took her hand in his, and she just shrugged with a tiny smile on her lips. "Jan Di, there's...one more thing."
"Yes?"
"I...you see...yesterday was my fault. No, wait," Ji Hoo cut her off when he saw she was about to interrupt him, "I didn't mean it like that. I was about to say that it was my fault that I let myself go so much." He hesitated, feeling nervous, before continuing, "I didn't use protection." Ji Hoo was sure he hadn't ever seen her blush to the root of her hair before. The redness spread to the tips of her fingers; Ji Hoo could feel it in the hand he was holding.
"I...didn't notice," Jan Di whispered.
"We were...distracted?" And that was the line that broke the ice. They both laughed out loud at the understatement of the year.
Calmed down, Ji Hoo felt comfortable when Jan Di decided to come closer and rest her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and relaxed, though they still needed to talk about one more thing.
"Jan Di, we need to go to a clinic."
"To do what?"
"To check if everything is okay with you. Even if there's a small chance of anything happening, I would rather know right now."
"Do-Do you think…?" Jan Di was a bit nervous now. They had only done it once; there was no way she could get pregnant from that, right?
"I don't know, but I'd rather be safe. We could go to a clinic here or wait until we get to the city."
"I'd rather wait for the city. I don't think we would be able to disappear together for too long before someone noticed."
Ji Hoo sighed. He would've rather done it right that instant, but she was right; everyone would notice if both of them went missing for a long period of time. The nearest clinic was half an hour away. "Okay, we'll wait for the city. Two days and we go."
"Two days and we go."
They enjoyed the afternoon on the boat, even caught a fish, only to turn it loose. Who would want to make sushi out of something that had belonged to this place forever?
Ji Hoo escorted her to her room and went back to his own for a shower and a much needed change of clothes. Some of the scratches on his back and arms were better, and some were still red, so he, again, went with a long-sleeved shirt and pants.
At dinner time, Jun Pyo was so angry that the whole party could feel his tension. His leg couldn't stop moving; he would complain about everything and even snapped at one of the waiters.
Ji Hoo turned his eyes to Jan Di and could see she was looking at anything but Jun Pyo. Finally, startling everyone, she stood up and left dinner.
"Yo, man, what did you do to Jan Di?" Woo Bin had decided to try his luck by asking.
"Me!? I didn't do anything to her! She's just...insufferable! Women are impossible to understand!"
The yelling kept on increasing, and everyone knew it was better not to mention anything again. They were all curious to know what exactly had happened between Jan Di and their leader.
Jan Di on her part, had taken a stroll down the beach, to the place she had found Ji Hoo the last two nights. She knew she wasn't going to find him there again this time but felt she could understand why both Seo Hyun and Ji Hoo felt so calm just sitting on the old boat, staring at the water.
For her, at least, water had always been a way to organize her feelings, and even if she was feeling tempted to go in, she decided against it.
I don't even have a change of clothes here.
She didn't know exactly how long she had been sitting there, so she was a bit startled to suddenly feel a chin on her shoulder.
"That's my spot, you know?"
Relaxing immediately, she smiled. It was Ji Hoo's voice. She looked to her side and found his face really close.
"Well, I got here first, but if you ask me nicely I'll make space for you."
Ji Hoo also smiled a bit but went to stand in front of her and then, he kneeled.
"Please, milady, would you do me the honor of sharing your old boat?"
Jan Di wanted to laugh, badly, but she kept it in and gave him a calm "If I must."
Ji Hoo sat next to her and offered his hand. Jan Di took it and they laced their fingers. He was almost 100% sure Jan Di had rejected Jun Pyo, but he didn't want to assume or ruin the moment, so he let it go. After a few minutes, though, he started to feel so calm that he was surprised.
"You're so warm." Ji Hoo's statement made her blush a bit.
"You're not cold anymore?"
He thought about it. He had felt cold these last few days, but at the moment, he didn't… "Not when I'm with you, no." And he leaned in for a kiss.
It was quick, chaste, warm.
Jan Di cuddled next to him, and he put his arm over her shoulders, keeping her close. Like this, they passed the time, not talking and not feeling uncomfortable, either, by the silence around them. There were still many things to talk about, but they could wait.
She felt very safe, then, able to forget the issue she had before with Jun Pyo. At this thought, she lightly scoffed. How apt they were both using each other to forget about unpleasant events.
Ji Hoo felt her movement against his shoulder and wondered what she was thinking about, but he didn't have to wait too long before he got his answer. Jan Di raised her eyes to his and looked at him with a cute smile on her lips. He saw and was surprised by it, but he didn't plan on stopping it. Jan Di tilted her chin upward, her eyes darting from his lips to his eyes, and reached for a kiss. Ji Hoo met her halfway and closed his eyes, feeling her lips. He didn't try to lead; he wanted her to do whatever she wanted, and although Jan Di was still inexperienced, there was a kind of certainty in her movements now. And Ji Hoo felt as if he had been deemed worthy of receiving an amazing gift. Actually, he had felt it before...On the previous night.
As Jan Di left Ji Hoo's lips, she felt herself a bit shy at having done something so bold by herself. Although what she had done the night before was way more than that, this kiss was something she initiated for the first time. Feeling his forehead on her own made her softly giggle, and she felt silly over the sound. She used to make fun of the girls who were in love and could only giggle.
Jan Di felt something then, a presence, someone looking at her, and when she turned around to her left, what she saw made her stomach plummet to her feet.
"Goo Jun Pyo."
Ji Hoo's head also turned to see and, sure enough, his best friend, his brother, was standing there, with a look of utter horror on his face. He stood up and slowly rounded Jan Di. If Jun Pyo wanted a showdown, he didn't want her to end up in the crossfire.
"So...this is it? This is why you rejected me?" Jun Pyo's voice carried fury and hurt.
So, I was right. "Don't move," Ji Hoo whispered to Jan Di. She listened and stayed put, although nervous to be just waiting to see what was going to happen.
Suddenly, Jun Pyo quickly approached Ji Hoo and sucker punched him.
"Goo Jun Pyo! Stop this! Stop it!" Jan Di went to stand between the two guys.
"Is this also something you know nothing about? Is this a trap, too!?"
"No, it isn't!" She knew he was referring to the time the picture of her with another guy had been displayed at school, but this was different.
Jan Di hadn't touched Jun Pyo, but it looked as if she had punched him too, for he staggered back at her answer. Taking advantage of this, she quickly turned to assist Ji Hoo, but he was already up again and went to stand before Jun Pyo, putting Jan Di behind him. This gesture was not lost on his best friend.
"Why did you make me like you? Why did you go along with it!?" He exploded.
"I tried to tell you, many times, but you wouldn't listen!" It was true; Jan Di had wanted to tell him from the beginning that she didn't feel that way about him.
"Just led me on, didn't you?"
"Jun Pyo, please…"
"Using me to get close to my best friend!"
"It wasn't like that!" It was Ji Hoo who answered.
"This time is really over. Geum Jan Di, don't ever appear in front of me again." Saying this, Jun Pyo turned around and started to leave.
"Jun Pyo-ah!" Ji Hoo wanted to reason with him at least.
"Aish! Shut up! If you say one more word, I'll kill you!"
Things hadn't been pretty. Jun Pyo left the island that same night and left all of them stranded because he took the jet. Not that they all couldn't find another means of transportation, but still. Everyone was suspicious of what might have occurred, but no one had a clear idea, and Jan Di just hid herself in her room until it was time to leave. She didn't even confide in Ga Eul about anything that had happened between her and Ji Hoo.
When they got to the city, Jan Di and he hadn't been able to get together to go to the clinic as they had promised, and the next day was a school day. Jan Di found him when she went to the staircase. Ji Hoo asked her to stay and recognized they were in a very difficult position. They agreed to go to the clinic after school.
What Jan Di hadn't expected was for Jun Pyo to make a completely public announcement about Ji Hoo no longer being a member of F4, plus the fact that in a week's time, both he and Jan Di would be expelled. She could feel the questioning gazes of Woo Bin and Yi Jung but didn't dare to look at them. Of course, as soon as Jun Pyo left, the gossip buzz started to go off around her, and the three self-proclaimed queens of the school started to bully her for being the cause of Ji Hoo's expulsion.
"Take responsibility!" One of them, Sunny or Funny or whatever her name was, said, "It's because of a cheap girl like you that our F4 is splitting up! You need to take responsibility for all of this."
"I'll take responsibility." The three girls directed their gazes to Ji Hoo, who looked pretty pissed to Jan Di's eyes, as he approached them. "What should I do?"
"Sunbae, please wake up."
"Aren't you the ones who need to wake up?" The girl looked shocked at his tone "Cheap girl? Saying that makes you look cheap." He was furious. How dare they call Jan Di cheap? She was everything but.
Among pleads and then tears, the fan club of three left Ji Hoo, telling him he would come to regret his decision. He simply rolled his eyes at this and went to Jan Di, who seemed to be feeling down.
"Come on, stop putting on that face." And with a smile, he managed to change her mood.
Jan Di packed her lunch, and once more, they went to the staircase. It seemed to be some kind of tacit agreement that this had become their place.
"Now we're both in a tough spot," Ji Hoo commented, leaning against the wall.
"I'm okay with being expelled, but I can't let that happen to you."
"Well, it's not like I'm planning to sit back and wait." Ji Hoo looked at Jan Di's worried face. He could imagine what she must have felt at Jun Pyo's declaration. Even if school didn't have the whole facts- and neither did Jun Pyo, thank God-surely they were all already forming ideas and theories about him and Jan Di.
And speaking of theories, he wanted to set some things straight. "Listen, about that night…"
"I know," Jan Di cut him off. "You don't have to apologize."
"I wasn't going to. I just wanted you to know that…" I needed comfort; I needed your warmth; I needed someone to hold me together, and you seem to be the only one able to do it.
"I get it, Sunbae. Really, I...I willingly stayed that night next to you. And I don't regret it." With a pretty pink tinting her cheeks, Ji Hoo felt himself admiring the woman next to him.
"Neither do I, Jan Di. I can't regret even one minute of that night. But, I still-"
"Yes, I know. It doesn't matter."
He gently pulled her into his arms, hugging her and inwardly thanking for having such a strong girl beside him. It wasn't fair, but Ji Hoo did like Jan Di, even if he still loved someone else, and he wasn't about to let Jun Pyo expel her from school just because she didn't like him back.
"Do you have a plan?" Jan Di asked him when he let go.
"I'll have to come up with one since now I have a reason to fight." The way he looked at her made Jan Di hopeful, but she tried to simmer down her excitement. Did he mean she was his reason?
"Ye-Yeah, I can't stand the fact that you're being kicked out of F4." Ji Hoo simply smiled broadly at her naiveness.
"That doesn't matter to me." He touched her face with his index finger. "You matter to me."
And with another smile, he left her there, with a galloping heart and a smile of her own.
Ji Hoo was internally cursing at Yi Jung. He had been ready to go pick Jan Di up when he got a phone call from his friend telling him he was going to his house and he better be there, no excuses allowed.
He told him he had another engagement, and Yi Jung simply threatened to send Woo Bin's guys to find him if it came down to that. Not wanting them to get any evidence of Jan Di and him, Ji Hoo promised her they would definitely go the next day.
What angered him more was that Yi Jung simply came to scold him and tell him he was alone if he decided to go through with it. Apparently, from what he could tell, Jun Pyo had told Woo Bin and Yi Jung about the kiss, and they were not happy with him. Ji Hoo could understand, but he didn't want any more drama right then.
The next day, Jan Di had an idea for what they were fearing and asked him to meet her at lunch in the staircase. School was still filled with gossip and just that small moment they talked together, Ji Hoo could hear the camera's shutters going off.
"Well then, what's this idea of yours? Do you perhaps plan to blackmail Jun Pyo into not expelling us with some obscure secret?"
"What? No. Even if I knew something about him, I probably wouldn't be able to use it." Jan Di pondered over the thought but quickly dismissed it. "I wanted to ask you something."
"Sure."
"About the clinic thing, you know we couldn't go yesterday." He nodded, a bit ashamed at that fact. "I think we can do that test really quickly."
"How so?"
"I researched a bit online, and there are these pregnancy tests that you can get at any pharmacy, and they're supposed to be fast and really accurate."
"Really? Isn't it better to take a blood test?" Unconsciously, he took her hand, and she laced her fingers with his as a reflex.
"Maybe, but I'm really worried here. I mean, what if…" Jan Di didn't want to think about it. She was sure she wasn't pregnant. No way.
Ji Hoo put his free hand on her cheek and looked into her eyes "If it comes to that, we'll take care of it together. I'm not leaving you alone."
Jan Di put her hand over his and closed her eyes for a second. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."
"Let's."
To avoid any suspicion later, they decided to ditch classes and go to a faraway pharmacy. As Ji Hoo didn't have another helmet, they took a cab.
After 20 minutes, in which they both dozed off, they got to a pharmacy and just then realized that Jan Di had her uniform on, so no way she could go inside. She turned her school jacket inside out and tied it around her waist. The Shinhwa uniform would be recognized by anyone. "Just go and ask for a pregnancy test; they will tell you which one is better."
Ji Hoo considered himself a smart man, a skilled, quick-witted, intelligent man, but right then, he was a fish out of water. When a petite, older woman behind the counter gave him a smile and asked him how she could help him, he felt himself tongue-tied.
"Oh…" The woman looked as if she got what was wrong and spoke the next words in a whisper. "The condoms are in the third aisle, top shelf," and she added a knowing wink.
Ji Hoo felt, for the first time, the urge to dig a hole and crawl in it.
"Um, thank you. What I'm actually looking for is, um, a pregnancy test."
"Oh, sweetie," the older woman seemed to know what he was possibly going through and stepped out from behind the counter to pat his arm, "it will all be okay, you'll see. Come, I'll take you there, although you should also visit aisle three so that this kind of thing doesn't happen again." And her stare, for some reason, made him want to lower his gaze like a toddler.
She is like a mom. It had been forever since he'd spoken with someone who resembled a parent and so, he was both embarrassed but thankful that this lady was sensible enough not to pry too much into his business.
"So, we have a variety. What are you looking for, exactly? How many days is she late?"
"Late?"
"Her period, sweetie."
He had absolutely no idea. "Could you hold on for a second, please?" He took out his cellphone and quickly wrote a text to Jan Di.
Sorry to ask, but I need to know if you're late.
Jan Di almost fell after reading his text, but she imagined that if Ji Hoo was asking, perhaps he really needed to know. She thought for a moment. Her period was terribly irregular; there were times she wouldn't get it for two or three months. Sometimes because she didn't eat right and her anemia got in the way, others because she trained so hard that her body couldn't take it. Once, a doctor had told her that it was called amenorrhea and that it wasn't too serious, but to always keep an eye on it.
I'm not late yet that I know of, but it should be coming soon.
Ji Hoo told this to the lady in front of him, and she nodded while looking for three different boxes.
"These here are the top of the line, not cheap by any means, but they will give you results. This one is an early detection pregnancy test, and this one is the same but digital." Ji Hoo was impressed by how many of these kinds of things existed. "And this one is the normal pregnancy test that you would perform after your first day of missing your period."
"I'll take them all."
"These are not cheap, sugar."
"It's okay, I can pay for them. Do you accept credit cards?"
The older lady seemed impressed to be given a Shinwha Co. Black card but said nothing about it. It was not her business to do so. She did force him, though, to buy two boxes of condoms and Ji Hoo could feel the heat of his face coming off in waves...She handed him the receipt and gave Ji Hoo a paper bag with the items.
"Um, could you please put the tests in a different bag?"
Stifling a laugh, she did as he asked her and wished him good luck, also giving him a brochure for family planning in case he needed it.
Sighing in relief at getting that done, he went to look for Jan Di in the diner he left her at.
"How was it?" she asked a bit eagerly.
"Well, I got you three of them because I was kinda lost."
"Can I do one of them right now?"
"I don't see why not. There are two that the lady said were early tests so we can know even though you haven't missed your period."
"Wow, that's...amazing. Isn't it?" Ji Hoo nodded. "I'll go to the ladies room then; I'll keep you posted?" Jan Di showed him her cellphone, and he nodded again.
Jan Di was nervous about this,but in her head she kept repeating that there was no way she got pregnant after just one time, so she forced herself to stay calm.
After five minutes or so, Ji Hoo sent a text.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, I'm sorry I'm taking so long, I was just reading the instructions so as not to mess up.
Ji Hoo waited for a couple more minutes, and then he got a text.
Okay, it's done. I need to wait for three minutes
Never had three minutes seemed so long in his entire life.
Jan Di was feeling the same thing while containing herself from looking before the time was up. She was even proud that she managed to hold on for thirty more seconds before looking at the white stick.
One line.
She quickly read the instructions again. One line meant not pregnant.
The tears that came to her eyes took her by surprise, but the ball of emotions Jan Di had held back so tightly had simply snapped at that one single line on the test.
Her phone pinged with a notification but she couldn't look at it at the moment. She had been so irresponsible and so foolish. True, she had wanted to give to Ji Hoo whatever he needed, but that wasn't an excuse for forgetting about being safe.
When Jan Di heard her ringtone, she tried to compose herself as much as she could, but Ji Hoo still heard the sniffles in her voice.
"It's negative!"
The relief that washed over him at that moment was so great he actually felt his limbs growing weak. Jan Di was not pregnant...thank God.
"Are you okay?" he asked, worried by the faint sobs he could hear through the phone.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just...relieved? Not that you wouldn't be a great father, but-"
"It's okay, Jan Di-ah, I'm very relieved as well. And when the time comes, I'm sure you'll be an amazing mother."
"Thank you, sunbae."
He laughed a bit. After all they had done and been through, she was still calling him 'Sunbae'. It felt right, though; the way she used the honorific felt special. "Will you come out anytime soon? We'll eat something before going back to school."
"Okay, yes, just give me a few minutes."
When Ji Hoo saw her coming out with her eyes and nose a bit red, he stood up and opened his arms to her. Jan Di immediately ran to him and let herself be engulfed in his hug. He seemed to be saying 'It's okay, I'm here' and she simply relaxed against his chest.
Jan Di was really nervous. Scratch that, she was terrified. Why had Jun Pyo's sister summoned her to their manor? She had no clue. But if Jun Pyo's sister was anything like his mother, she was going to throw herself out of a window.
She wasn't going to go, but Woo Bin told her it would be best, that perhaps Jun Pyo's sister would have a way to avoid her expulsion.
She was led to a big living room where all the parties were already there.
"Geum Jan Di, nice to meet you. I'm Goo Joon Hee, the sister of this idiot." Just that presentation made her feel more at ease.
Goo Joon Hee started preaching and made 'the Great Goo Jun Pyo' heel before her words. A compromise was to be met, all the involved parties in the triangle would choose a ball which contained an activity. Jun Pyo and Ji Hoo would face off, 2 out of 3 wins required to be victorious, and the loser would have to accept the winner's condition.
Everyone accepted the terms and went on their way, but Jan Di asked Ji Hoo to walk with her for a bit. Yi Jung didn't like what he saw and quickly left, and Woo Bin gave them a smile and a wave before getting into his car.
"Do you want a ride? I can call for a car; I don't have an extra helmet."
"It's okay, I just wanted to tell you something." Ji Hoo waited for a few seconds but Jan Di wasn't saying anything. "It's a bit embarrassing, but...Okay, here it goes. I got my period, so I think we're okay," she said in less than a second.
"Really!?" Ji Hoo and Jan Di had taken those pregnancy tests, but to know she was having her period made him feel even more secure about things.
"Yeah, so...we're in the clear." Jan Di awkwardly laughed about it.
"I can still take you home."
"If you do, my mom would have a fit. I'll be okay."
"Let me take you to the park near your home, then. Mm? It'll give me peace of mind to see you arrive safely."
Jan Di knew she could arrive safely on her own but accepted his invitation gladly. They would have to communicate a lot to see how they'd beat the 3 trials.
The day was over. Jun Pyo had won the race, but Jan Di heard his horse wouldn't be able to race again.
She felt bad for the horse.
Jun Pyo was a person who had had a difficult childhood, had been neglected by his parents, or mostly his mother, and didn't know any better. But that didn't mean he could do whatever he wanted. Not anymore, not in her book.
She had gone through a lot just by being next to him and she was done.
Shaking her head, Jan Di tried to collect herself, thinking of the afternoon when she rode Ji Hoo's horse, Rui. It had scared her a bit at first because it had been very high, but he had held the reins the whole time, even though it had been for more than half an hour.
Jan Di knew she had to stop thinking about Ji Hoo in that way; he didn't love her; he had just needed comfort, and she had given it. But still, she was liking these trials a little bit. They had exchanged phone numbers and texted constantly about what they thought the next trial would be, which of course, they had no idea, but still.
After writing everything down in her diary and locating the handcraft materials she wanted from her bottom drawer, she went to sleep.
How could she have forgotten? Yi Jung and Woo Bin had told her when she had gone to return Ji Hoo's shoes; in fact, it had been only a few weeks ago.
The trauma, the accident, the loss of his parents. This surely should've prompted a change in the rules, but no one had stepped in and said something.
So, she had brought him something to eat at the race track, courtesy of her boss.
Jan Di came to know how Ji Hoo had gotten his driving license by trying not to be embarrassed in front of Seo Hyun.
"You should stop now." Jun Pyo was doing laps as fast as lighting in front of Jan Di's eyes.
"Why must I stop?"
"There's no more value in going on. Anyway, I didn't go to that school voluntarily."
"Stay with me." He had said it so naturally, so quickly. "I don't know if I can win, but...I'll try my best. Right now, I want to win."
He loved the food, but he didn't drive that afternoon. Jan Di was worried when she saw him leave and quickly formed a plan in her head.
She called Ga Eul asking her for a cover, then called Ji Hoo telling him she was going to him.
"It's late." Was his greeting.
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I…" They had moved to his living room, but he hadn't offered tea yet. "I know you probably won't sleep, so I thought that maybe we could not sleep...together."
He sighed, smiled, took her hand and led her to his bedroom.
There was nothing sexual about it.
They talked for an hour or so. Ji Hoo told her about the accident, and Jan Di simply listened, never asking a question, nor smothering him with kind words. She just sat by his side on the bed. And that was more than enough. After the sad tale, they talked about other things, but to his great surprise, Ji Hoo started feeling sleepy. He didn't want to sleep, though, for if he closed his eyes, the nightmares would return.
"Go to sleep," she whispered. "I'll be here, and I will wake you up if you have a nightmare."
"I couldn't ask that of you."
"You're not asking." So, he relented, quite easily, and laid his head on her lap, while Jan Di played with the strands of his hair.
To say he slept without nightamers would be a lie, but he slept better than the day before. Each time he woke up, Jan Di was there to reassure him, speaking softly, humming or simply staying silent, letting him regain his bearings.
Ji Hoo was thankful for Jan Di.
The day came, not that either of them could have prevented it.
Ji Hoo came out of the dressing room to find Ga Eul and Jan Di at the door.
"Woo Bin-ssi, could you show me where I should sit, please?"
Of course, Song Woo Bin wasn't an idiot; Ga Eul just wanted to let these two have a moment together. He complied, but grabbed her hand to tease her; he had to get something out of letting two of his best friends fight over a girl.
When they left, Ji Hoo stepped closer to Jan Di.
"I'm sorry. Your eyes are red; you probably didn't get a wink of sleep."
"Don't worry about it. I wouldn't have slept either way. I was finishing this." Jan Di showed him a bracelet. On closer inspection, he saw that it was handmade, a thick, strong, handmade bracelet. "It's for good luck…" She looked uncomfortable and maybe thought this wasn't such a big deal, but he was happy. His father used to make handmade things as well, for himself and his mother. This gift, the detail, made him feel much better about the trial.
"Thank you, Jan Di-ah."
"It's nothing, sunbae."
"On the contrary, could you put it on me?"
Jan Di asked for the bracelet back and his hand. He gave her his right.
What either of them didn't notice was the pair of eyes witnessing this exchange with jealousy.
"There. I'm sorry to confess I measured it around your wrist most of the night."
"Jan Di-ah." He was at a loss for words and just managed to enclose her in a hug, which she immediately returned.
"You'll be okay. And if you want to back out, I would never call you on it. You've done more than enough."
"I'll do my best. I can't promise I'll win, but I'll try."
They both stayed in each other's arms until they heard the crowd.
"I really should be going." Ji Hoo let her go but still felt like doing something more. Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Wonder Girl."
"A-Anytime." Jan Di blushed. It was one thing sharing a hug, which to her, translated to comfort due to his trauma; it was another to receive a kiss from him again.
Ji Hoo went to stand near his car. The nausea and sickness came back, but he tried to focus on what was important: Not losing, because if he did, Jan Di would be expelled, and she didn't deserve to pay for something he had done. Touching his new bracelet with his left hand, he willed himself to calm down. It kinda worked.
When he raised his eyes, he saw Jun Pyo with murderous intent in his, though he wasn't looking at him, but at his right wrist. Ji Hoo quickly pulled his jacket sleeve over it and got into the car.
He had a race to win.
They celebrated, they did. Of course, it was only Jan Di, Ji Hoo and Ga Eul in the porridge shop while Boss cooked some fish. The rest of the F4 were still siding with Jun Pyo, but they didn't care. Ji Hoo had done something amazing, and they felt they should celebrate.
Ji Hoo was smiling and laughing, more than he remembered doing in the past few years. They didn't have much, and they weren't in a high-class restaurant, but he felt warm while Jan Di hugged Ga Eul and both made a toast in his name.
They would find out the last task tomorrow, but for now, they wanted to be happy.
"Ridiculous!" Jun Pyo stood up and snatched the paper from his sister's hands, tossing it to the floor in rage. "What is this? Invalid!" He then proceeded to accuse Jan Di of setting it up, declaring he would never do it. Joon Hee told Jun Pyo it was fine, but then Ji Hoo would automatically win.
The third task was swimming.
Yi Jung chimed in, saying he would like to nominate himself to compete instead of Jun Pyo, that he was unwilling to let Ji Hoo off so easily. Joon Hee put it up for a vote; if everyone agreed, then it would be so. Of course Jun Pyo agreed, so did Yi Jung and then Woo Bin.
And for Jan Di, that was it.
"I'm against it."
"Yah, Geum Jan Di!" Jun Pyo was livid but she didn't care.
Jan Di stood up and looked Yi Jung and Woo Bin dead in the eyes.
"Why? Why should you be able to nominate yourself as a replacement? Because he can't swim?" She pointed to Jun Pyo. "Because he had a traumatic event in his past and he's afraid to do it?"
"You-!" Jun Pyo started to say, but Jan Di quickly cut him off.
"What!? The reason you can't swim is the same reason Ji Hoo can't drive, and no one stood up for him. Why?" She even looked to Joon Hee, upset that she was willing to accept this change. "You did this, Goo Jun Pyo." She was seething. "You couldn't accept someone telling you 'No,' and now you are the one taking the easy way out when you don't feel like doing something that-!"
"Jan Di-ah."
Ji Hoo had stood up, placing himself between her and Jun Pyo. He gently grabbed her arm and tried to pull her back to the couch, but she didn't budge. The room was speechless.
Ji Hoo looked at her and cocked his head to the side. They all saw Jan Di open her mouth to complain, but he took a breath and put his hands on her shoulders, leaning down so that their eyes were on the same level. And once again, he looked at her. She gave him a sad but angry look, almost a pout, and then, finally, sat back on the couch.
"I'll participate, too. Yi Jung is replacing Jun Pyo, so I'll replace Ji Hoo," she demanded.
"Are you sure?" Joon Hee asked her. "He's a guy, and he's strong, too." Clearly, she didn't know how good she was at swimming.
"This involves me too; I won't sit by and just watch from the sidelines."
Of course, Jun Pyo had more wisdom to impart. "How can a girl join this competition?" She was about to deck him, but then Ji Hoo spoke up.
"Jan Di, if that's what you want, let's do it."
Her heart skipped a beat, and her anger was immediately quenched. Ji Hoo believed in her, and that was enough. He also wasn't putting her in a different category because she was female.
It was decided in the end that they would compete two against two. Woo Bin and Yi Jung against Ji Hoo and Jan Di.
She was furious that they were so explicitly excluding Ji Hoo, but she was determined to do her best. She was Geum Jan Di, she wouldn't back down for anything.
"That was your fastest lap yet." Ji Hoo held the chronometer screen up to her. "51.10 seconds."
"I want to shorten it to 50 or less."
"Knowing Geum Jan Di, it won't matter if I ask you not to exert yourself, so go ahead." He smiled, and she smiled back.
"When are you planning on coming in? We are both supposed to be training."
"My time is 45.20 seconds for the full lap."
"Yeah, well you could shorten it, and it would help me to compete against a guy. You are a bit taller than Yi Jung, so that could give me some insight."
"You just want me to take my shirt off." Ji Hoo scolded himself. Why had he said that?
"How did you find out? That was my plan all along," Jan Di said in a flat tone, scoffed, and turned around, but she was actually starting to blush. Had she come across as flirty?
He went to change, but he realized he only had his trunks. He had actually ordered short-sleeve, full swimwear for both him and Jan Di. He wanted to have all the possible advantages for this final test. Ji Hoo had been confident in the horse racing, but Jun Pyo had won, at a great cost, yes, but won. And then he was surprised at himself after the car race; he really thought he would lose. Now, however, they had one more opportunity, and he wasn't going to take any chances.
Leaving on a white shirt and putting on his black trunks, he stepped out of the locker rooms and saw Jan Di resting on the end of the pool. She had her old swimsuit on, which she had told him she saved for for nearly two years. It wasn't the best, but it helped her to be comfortable when swimming.
As soon as he got into the water, they started to practice. Ji Hoo set his water-resistant watch to the Timer function and went for it. He won every time, yes, but Jan Di was right at his toes. There was a fact that couldn't be denied‒she was a girl, and she was shorter than them.
"We have an opportunity, calm down," he told Jan Di, who was clearly frustrated, even though she had managed to shorten her time to the 50 seconds as she had wanted. "Yi Jung will go last; he's way faster, so he'd want to be the anchor, and he expects me to go last, too. I'll give it my all and give you 3 to 5 seconds of advantage; with that, you can easily beat Yi Jung by 2 seconds."
"But I-"
"You're fast; you're a great swimmer. And even though you're going up against guys that are way taller than you, I know that you still have a chance."
Jan Di sighed but knew there was no point in beating herself up over it. Besides, she was feeling tired, and she needed the rest if she was going to compete tomorrow.
"Okay then, I'll go home, and you should, too. We need the rest." Ji Hoo agreed, and both of them slowly approached the ladder. When they reached the shallower part, they walked, and Ji Hoo saw Jan Di taking off her swimming cap. Her hair was dry, only the tips of it were damp...He looked at her.
Her skin was soft, even though he knew there were strong muscles under it. She was thin, very much so, and he thought that it had to do more with the fact she didn't eat correctly than because she trained regularly, something he would have to take care of. And then there was the way she smiled at him; it was tired but also happy because Jan Di seemed to glow when she was in her element, which was water.
When she reached for the ladder and tried to go up, she slipped, and Ji Hoo quickly caught her waist with both hands.
"Careful," he said, tilting his face to look at her.
"Sorry, I must have lost my footing. I'm okay," she said, turning her head to thank Ji Hoo.
Without her eyes leaving his, Jan Di turned her body around, leaving them facing each other. Ji Hoo's hand on her waist helped her, and he took a step forward. One of her hands went to grab the ladder; she just wanted to be grounded to reality somehow because she wasn't clear on what was happening right then.
Ji Hoo's face came a bit closer to hers, and Jan Di looked at the boy before her: The swept hair, due to the water; his caramel, honey eyes, bright and open; that straight nose that led to a mouth that she had no words to describe…There was no denying the beauty in his features. Ji Hoo's gaze was also roaming her face, but as their noses got closer, it started to go back and forth between her eyes and her lips.
Slowly tilting her head to the right, eyes open, Jan Di looked at his lips. Ever so slowly, she moved closer to him.
Swallowing, Ji Hoo moved forward the scarce millimeters that kept them apart and felt their lips touch. Just that, a touch, and they moved back. The sigh that left him was a surprise, but he didn't have enough time to think, because Jan Di moved her hands to his shoulders, finding balance on him and gently trapping him in place. Neither hesitated the next time their mouths found each other, carefully moving. With Jan Di's lips against his own, Ji Hoo closed his eyes and unconsciously tightened his hold, one hand on her waist and the other opened flat against her back. Jan Di raked her fingers through his wet hair and massaged his scalp.
They were kissing. This hadn't been motivated by tears or desperation, and they weren't in a hurry. Their movements were slow, and their breathing was mixed. There was no bumping, no awkwardness. Both hearts beat fast, trying to take the onslaught of feelings coursing through both of their bodies.
When they opened their eyes, there wasn't doubt or regret in them; they were simply gazing at each other. She shyly smiled, and he smiled in reply, giving her a small peck. Jan Di caressed his temples and face, and Ji Hoo went for her cheek and neck, almost with a curious expression as to where this girl had come from, why she hadn't been here before, and if she would stay next to him after this trial period ended.
Kissing her mouth again, he heard Jan Di take a deep breath, hum, and pull him closer. He wasn't complaining. There were questions trying to break through the fog in his mind, but Jan Di helped him push them back when one of her hands traveled lower to find his chest. His skin seemed alive with electricity, reacting to her small touches...Ji Hoo had heard about going weak in the knees, but he hadn't actually felt it before, until then.
When he garnered enough courage to move his body even closer, he felt her legs going up to his waist, but before his hand could do more, Jan Di's phone rang, making them gasp at the loss of their connection. In the emptiness of the pool, her ringtone seemed to sound three times louder.
"Not now…" Ji Hoo heard her whine under her breath, and he laughed. He would've wanted to spend a bit more time with her, too.
"It could be important. It's okay," he assured her.
"Thank you." She quickly disentangled herself from his body and turned around to climb the ladder.
"Go." Watching her quickly grab a towel and go for her things, Ji Hoo sighed once more. "Before I don't let you." That last part was only for himself, but that didn't mean it was less true.
He was going to be in trouble.
For some reason, he had felt compelled to drive over to Jan Di's that night.
When her mother told him, however, that she had been called to the park, he got worried. Quickly walking there, he got a glimpse of Jan Di disentangling herself from Jun Pyo's embrace.
He decided not to interrupt but to remain close, just in case.
Not even a minute after that, Jun Pyo walked back to his car and left. Jan Di remained standing in her spot, probably sighing from the movement of her shoulders, and then she sat on a swing, lazily staring at her feet.
"Aren't you cold, Miss Geum?" He asked while walking towards her. Ji Hoo didn't need to ask what had happened with Jun Pyo; he could pretty much guess, and he knew Jan Di simply wouldn't give in to his best friend.
He thought it funny, though, that she neither startled nor looked surprised when he spoke. Jan Di only smiled and said, "I'm quite alright, but thank you for your concern, kind sir."
He crouched in front of her, his hands on hers and on her knees, just sharing the silence with her.
"Do you still want to do this? We can still call it off," he eventually asked.
"I'm sure. I'm only worried about you in case we lose."
Ji Hoo shrugged. "I can always go to a different school, or to England. I could even take a sabbatical, but what about you?"
"I'll go back to my normal life. I was never meant to end up at Shinhwa; you and I both know I'm flour of a different sack. A totally different quality as well."
"That last part is true. You're way better and more important than any person in Shinhwa High School, Geum Jan Di."
Slowly, unplanned, their lips found each other again. Although, this kiss was sweet, just a reassuring touch.
Comfort.
"I'll walk you back," Ji Hoo told her.
She smiled sweetly and nodded.
It was so weird, to know that they might have won, but now neither knew if that had been the case. At the last second, just as Ji Hoo had seen Jan Di stretching out her hand to touch the wall, the lights of the pool had gone off and then back on again. No one knew who had won, and it ended up in a tie.
Ji Hoo and Jan Di weren't going to be expelled from Shinhwa High.
So, as they took a stroll, relieved over their triumph, Ji Hoo felt an impulse to ask something he had never asked before.
"Jan Di, would you like to go on a date?"
Why would he ask that? Why would he go and ask her on a date when he still had Seo Hyun in his mind? He kept on asking himself that over and over again until the same day of the date, which against all his fears, went quite alright.
Up to the part where he tried to kiss Jan Di and she had moved her face away.
Not tonight. She had said, and Ji Hoo noticed how her eyes quickly bounced around the room. It was only after she left that he realized what she had been looking at.
Seo Hyun's huge portrait that still hung from his wall.
Or maybe Seo Hyun's framed pictures he had scattered all around.
Perhaps Jan Di had seen the violin case?
Whatever it had been, they both had been strangely dancing on a fine rope about what they were right now. Not a couple, but most definitely not just friends. He didn't even know how they had...transitioned to that unclear status, but Jan Di hadn't said anything, and he dreaded being the one to break the delicate balance they had found.
He had to thank Jan Di. Not only for her friendship or everything he had been able to accomplish since he came to meet her, but because it was thanks to her that he now felt able to really let go of his first love.
Sighing, Ji Hoo picked up the pair of gloves Jan Di had forgotten on his sofa. He smiled and started thinking of the changes he would have to make to his house.
And that was it! Next chapter we will go back to the present and then, jump back to the past.
Let me know what you thought! ;)