Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Gravi guys, they just happen to live in my mind, and I own none of the American Idol judges. Who'd want to, anyway?

Note: All of the Japanese folk have their names written in Japanese style, Family name, then own name. The American and British people have their names written our way, own name, then Family name. Lyrics will only be in italics when they are sang. Also, about Randy, I'm white, okay? I only found out what 'foshizzle' was until after I wrote it. Now I don't want to change it. And…sorry about the formatting….

Fluff one-shot. Eiri x Shuichi

Shindo Shuichi, 19 years old (Japanese)

"Well, hi, there! I'm Shindo Shuichi and I'm a huge hit in Japan and-"

Simon Cowell cut him off. "I don't care if you're famous in Japan. You are auditioning for American Idol. Now, what are you going to sing?"

"Talkin' About Love, by Celine Dion."

Simon cringed, before saying, "Go on."

It all seemed to go pretty well, until Shuichi got to the refrain. "I am your man, and you are my man-"

Simon held up his hand. "What was that? The lyrics are: I am your lady, and you are my man. What are you, gay?"

Shuichi went into full-on hyper mode. "No I'm not! I'm just open to love!" And on and on.

Paula Abdul raised her voice above Shuichi's ranting, "Shuichi, you're a sweet boy, I just don't think you're right for American Idol. I'm going to say no."

"Yo yo, me too, dawg," Randy Jackson rapped.

"You've got zero talent. Please leave," Simon finished.

That comment definitely lit Shuichi's fuse. "You can't tell me I've got zero talent! You can't!"

"Security," Simon called. Two hulking dudes came in and ushered Shuichi out by his arms.

"There's only one person in this world that can tell me I have zero talent and that's MY YUKI!" Shuichi yelled out his last words as he was thrown back into the lobby.

Simon cupped his face in his hands. "Good God," he whispered, while Paula smacked him.

"You were a little hard on him, you know!"

"Yo yo, dawg, dat's da truth," Randy foshizzled.

"You two don't get it," Simon said, "I can't stand homos."

Paula giggled. "Oh, I get it. You're homophobic, arent' you?"

"To put it bluntly, yes."

"Yo yo, dawg-"

"Shut up, Randy!" Simon growled.

Claude Winchester(K), 36 (American)

"My name is K, and I will be the next American Idol because I say so."

"We have to at least hear you sing, K," Paula objected.

K whipped out his pistol in a flash and shot a bullet that barely skirted Paula's hair.

She twitched, and then put on a fake smile. "You've got a great voice on you, K. I think you could seriously be the next American Idol. You're going to Hollywood!"

Simon sat quietly beside her, fearing objection since he'd be shot at by K and slapped by Paula.

And well, Randy couldn't say anything due to the fact Simon had duct taped his mouth shut.

"Thank you," K said, bowing, and left.

Sakuma Ryuichi, 31 years old (Japanese)

"Kumagoro, say hi!" The green-haired man walked in, making the stuffed bunny wave at the judges.

Simon twitched, trying not to throw insults. His doctor said it wasn't good for his blood pressure. "What's your name and what are you going to sing?" Simon said through gritted teeth.

"I'm Ryu, and this is Kumagoro! I'm going to sing Sleepless Beauty, by me!"

Simon sighed. It had been a long day. "Sing already."

Ryuichi dropped Kumagoro and passed a hand over his eyes. When his hand moved, he ceased being the child-like man and his eyes held that of true passion.

"Umarekawari no anata yo hitori hohoemanaide hitomi o irodoru. Nozonda sekai ga totsuzen hai ni natte mo kiseki wa mada megurikuru. Todokanu hikari no yukue azayaka ni mau omoi o egakou. Michibiku kotoba ga koborete shimawanu you ni utsuru toki o osorenaide. (sotto dakishimete zutto tsukamaete motto kokoro made kowasu you ni)"

Which, translated in English, means 'Your eyes alone light up without a smile. Even if the world you want would suddenly turn to ash. There will still be miracles. The light I can't reach and where it's gone. Let's sketch out the brilliantly dancing thoughts. So that the guiding words do not spill over. Don't fear the changing times. (embrace me gently, hold me forever. More, so you'll even break my soul)'

As he finished singing, he held his fist up in the air. He scooped Kumagoro off the floor and bounced back up. "So how was I, Kumagoro? Was I sparkly sparkly?"

Paula sat in awe. She was so blown away, she could barely utter the words, "I say yes to him."

Simon wasn't any less amazed. "That…was the best performance I have ever seen in my whole life…Believe me, you are going to Hollywood."

"Yay! Yay! Kumagoro! Celebration time!" Ryuichi skipped out of the room, flipping Kumagoro into the air over and over again.

Simon rubbed his eyes. "It was like dealing with a little kid…"

"But his stage persona is simply amazing. You can't deny that he's the best," Paula added. Randy was barely making nonsense sounds, wanting his mouth untapped and his recently taped wrists freed.

Uesugi Eiri, 21 years old (Japanese)

"Actually, to be perfectly honest, I'm not here of my own free will. The damned brat made me…"

"Who?" Simon asked.

"The idiot with the pink hair," Eiri chortled simply.

"Oh, yes, him…" Simon said, rolling his eyes. "Alright, well-" Simon started, but then he realized Paula was making weird faces at Eiri. "Paula?"

She ignored him. "You know…you…beautiful eyes…" she cooed, barely being able to put her thoughts into audible words.

Eiri chuckled. "A lot of people do say that."

"So will you sing for us, please?" Paula begged.

Eiri grinned that evil smile of his and said, "For a beautiful woman like you, sure."

"So what will you sing?" Simon said, definitely irritated.

Eiri shrugged. "I suppose I'll sing a bit of Glaring Dream by Bad Luck, since I did inspire the lyrics."

Eiri took a deep breath, and then sang, "Yureru maboroshi kim ga utsuru. Boku o michibiku kasuka na shiruetto."

Meaning, 'You are there in the wavering vision. A faint silhouette that guides me.' And that's all he sang. Seriously. But he sang it as beautiful as he was, and it had brought Paula to tears, even though she hardly knew any Japanese.

"You are going to Hollywood!"

Eiri shook his head. "Thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather stay with my Shu-chan. And I'm not cut out for America. Last time I was there for more than a few days, I did some bad things." And he walked out.

They could hear Eiri telling Shuichi that no, he had not been accepted either and it looked like he was with the brat for a little longer. Paula shut her eyes. "Mm," she nodded, "He really does love that little pink ball of charisma."

Simon rubbed his forehead, "Ugh, I hate homos…" But of course they didn't notice the now freed Randy stalking up behind them with yellow glowing eyes and bearing a ball-point pen like a knife.

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So, what do you think? I wrote this last year when American Idol was on T.V. Watching the tryouts really inspired me. I was like, 'What if the Gravi guys tried out for American Idol? That would be kickass!" D

Shuichi: -bows- Please review!

Eiri: This is a piece of crap.

Oh, hush you! -ties Eiri-sama up- Ummm...Maybe I better cut this here... -shifty eyes-