I hope this one shows up okay (glares at computer). I'm having a lot of trouble with the computers at work now. I managed to get my Inspiration Chocobo up and limping along again, but I'm not too sure about this one. If it doesn't turn out right, I blame it on a lack of sleep and caffine. (No the 'add ruler' option won't work on this computer either.)
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Random Bits 6- Chapter 1
Setting: Yuna and her friends are visiting Luca to watch the Junior Leagues Blitzball tournament.
Luca - Clothing shop- Lulu has to buy a new dress due to a fiend attack during their journey.
Lulu eyed the dress critically. It had a nice fur trim and enough leather to make a rock musician jealous. She liked it.
"Oh, that's cute!" Rikku gasped in excitement.
"I don't think this one will fit." the older girl sighed, eyeing the dress wistfully.
"Here." Wakka said, whisking the garment out of her hands to hold at arm's length for inspection.
Wakka's eyes did a complicated bouncing maneuver between Lulu and the dress; a trace of doubt lingering as it passed over his features. Without warning the islander slung the dress over his shoulder and did what Tidus had been dying to do since the day they'd met. He sized her boobs.
Wakka's companions froze, Time having to go have a lie down. A suffocating silence descended on the shop like a downed Ochu, but had little effect since everyone was holding his or her breaths anyway. Kimahri fainting on a shoe display shattered the silence and startled everyone's cerebral functions back to life. Tidus started choking on his own spit, eyes bulging dangerously from their sockets in disbelief. He would have given anything to be in Wakka's position right now.
"Oh yeah, It'll fit." Wakka declared cheerfully, oblivious to the mental apocalypse he had caused.
Lulu was livid, but it was impossible to tell if it was from rage or embarrassment.
"Ow! Wha'd I do!" the red-haired man yelped as the Black Mage dealt him a good ding on the ear. The tight-lipped, hot-eyed glare she pinned him with could have melted a hole through 18 inches of solid steel. It was totally deflected by the man's thick skull, lack of imagination, and shield of terminal ignorance.
Without a word Lulu paid for her dress and swept out of the shop, heading for the Inn. She left in her wake a dazed silence often associated with fast hitting natural disasters. Wakka sidled along side hurricane Lulu, gabbling and wringing his hands, begging forgiveness and trying to find out what he had done wrong. He returned as ignorant as he had left and with a red handprint on his face.
"That was cool!" exclaimed Tidus, shaking his red-haired companion by the shoulders, eyes glowing with awe.
"You touched Lulu's knockers...Let me touch your hands!"
Auron grabbed the exuberant youth by the hood of his shirt and swung him towards the door, leaving Wakka to figure out what he had done wrong. The Unsent monk helped Yuna and Rikku get a dazed Kimahri out into the fresh air.
After lunch, Yuna and her companions stopped at one of the souvenir shops for colored towels, pennants, and the classic giant foam fingers. Tidus left the shop with a T-shirt bearing a picture of two blitzballs with the word 'Knockers!' above it; under which was printed '(Boobies!)'. The same message was printed on the back of the shirt in Al Bhed.
Drawing strange looks, disdainful expressions, and the occasional cheer, Tidus strutted towards the throng of fans waiting to enter the stadium. Kimahri's Official Auroch's beverage cap also drew some strange looks, but no one was about to laugh at a giant predatory, cat-like humanoid with massive claws and four-inch fangs. Besides, the last person to comment on the silly cap was still lying on the ground, twitching occasionally.
Auron was unable to comprehend how Yuna could walk beside Tidus and still hold her head up high. She could at least have the decency to feel embarrassed for the boy. Summoners. Go figure.
The Legendary Guardian and his Ronso companion strolled along behind their younger companions. The noise level rose steadily as Rikku and Tidus talked about a mutual interest. This involved ethnic jokes and laughing about personal quirks (like how Lulu crossed her arms over her chest when Tidus walked by).
Boredom set in ten minutes after they joined the slowly funneling mob. Luckily Wakka and Rikku had their boom-sticks and giant foam fingers to amuse themselves with. Be fret of Lulu, the islander had taken to teasing Rikku. Strangely it didn't seem to bother the Al Bhed girl. Being a little sister her self, Rikku was used to being picked on, and seemed oddly content to have Wakka pestering her.
Tidus had his own plan for curing boredom and was well on his way to a good handful of Yuna's personal anatomy. While Yuna was distracted by the pre-game announcements, Kimahri was not. With hands the size of a man's head; the Ronso was the Spirian equivalent of a Wookie. One of those hands descended with all the force of Gravity behind it to slap Tidus' hand nearly off its wrist.
Hearing the boy's surprised yelp, Yuna spun around to see what all the noise was about. Tidus was sucking his knuckles and whimpering as he did a jig pain, Wakka laughing and slapping him on the back. As soon as he sensed the Summoner's gaze, Tidus thrust and accusing finger at the Ronso. Kimahri blinked as if unaware of what was happening, contriving to look as non-threatening and innocent as possible.
Kimahri failed. Not because he was guilty to begin with, but because there is no way in the Farplane that any seven foot humanoid with fangs, claws, and arms that look like sacks full of blitzballs could be anything but a source of pain. It was hard to be stereotyped as anything else when you had a perpetual dour scowl and could pound your enemies into the ground like nails with your fists. Stereotypes are hard to break out of, but he was trying. (Kimahri currently owned a sphere page online that listed his hobbies as: Guarding, hunting, stalking Summoners, ironing Yuna's clothes, and chasing butterflies.)
"Kimahri?" asked Yuna gently, demanding and explanation.
"Big spider. Kimahri smash." the Ronso replied the picture of seriousness, Wakka's braying laughter already drawing curious or disapproving looks.
"Control yourselves." Auron hissed. Up until now he had been dealing with their antics in his usual manner, i.e. ignoring them. After some strategic cutting, he managed to separate the sexes. The girls were shuffled to the front, while the boys were lined up behind Kimahri.
"You act like you've never been around women before." he quietly admonished, even though he knew he was wasting his breath. Auron had a better chance of teaching social etiquette to lichen than training the little Sin spawn in basic good behavior.
"Well, maybe if the girls would share once in a while." the youth replied with a puerile pout. Auron fixed Tidus with a one-eyed glare of disbelief.
"Do you have even the tiniest inkling of what you are going to say before you open your mouth?" (He was beginning to suspect that the boy had anarchic verbalitis.)
"Oh!" Wakka gasped as sudden inspiration hit with the force of sour milk on an empty stomach.
"What if you had a set of your own?"
The veteran Guardian calmly snatched Wakka's boom-stick and whacked him over the head with it.
"Man, that would be awesome!" Tidus exclaimed, earning a smack of his own.
"Think about it! It'd mean hours of entertainment."
Auron motioned the two of them closer. He looked at their curious expressions as they leaned in, and didn't feel one ounce of remorse as he knocked their heads together and proceeded to beat the Sin out of them.
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Um...don't insult the Ronso's cap.