The dreaded day had come. The day Rowan would have to swallow her fears or make an utter fool of herself. She wasn't scared of Titans chomping down on her. No, that didn't haunt her when she slept. What consumed her nightmares was the fear of heights, the fear of plummeting to her death. A shiver was evoked from just thinking about how high they would be during training today. She was so nauseous that she ended up giving Sasha her entire breakfast, which didn't go unnoticed by Armin. His gaze continued to wander back to her every few moments even though she didn't join the conversation between her friends. They were all buzzing with excitement, ready to use the ODM gear to soar through the sky at incredible speeds. Meanwhile, Rowan wanted to go bury herself in hay and hide at the stables. She had passed the ODM trials thus far with flying colors, able to maintain her balance and follow the flow of the mechanics. Her muscles were sore for weeks, but they loosened up and got used to the constant strain they received when using the ODM gear. She hit every mark and never fell. She had every confidence in herself to use the gear successfully. Regardless, she was terrified. When she was a kid, she had climbed the tallest tree in the village to hide from her brother. When she looked down, she vomited. It was easy to find her then. On her way down the tree, her fear had gotten the best of her and she lost her grip on the bark. She tumbled down and broke both her arms. Her mother was furious and Rowan swore to keep both feet firmly planted on the ground from then on. Guess she's going back on her internal promise now.
"Rowan?" She shook her head, blinking a few times to refocus on the group around her. They were all staring at her now, though she knew it was Armin's voice that pulled her back to the present. "Is everything okay?" She swallowed her fear and nodded.
"Yeah, totally. I just feel off today, but I'll be okay." She assured her friends and they all nodded. Armin wasn't buying it though. He leaned closer to her and spoke quietly.
"If you're worried about any Titans making an appearance, don't worry. The Scouts have been canvassing the area for the past few days. There haven't been any sightings. Plus, they'll be there to keep watch." Oh sweet, naive Armin. The Titans were the least of her worries.
"No, it's not that. I think I might have a stomach bug or something. Don't worry. I'll be fine." She smiled at him and he frowned.
"Okay. Don't go up in the trees if you think you'll be sick. It's not safe." He didn't have to tell her that. She was well aware and she prayed to whatever higher power existed in their shitty world that she didn't vomit in front of all her comrades and fall on her face from a tree. The bell dinged, signaling the end of breakfast. All the recruits gathered by the exit, excited for the day. They filed out to the supply room to grab their assigned ODM gear. Rowan put her gear on as slowly as possible. It didn't feel too heavy anymore and she felt comfortable in it after their consistent training. That was the only thing reassuring her, the only reminder keeping her going. Armin hung back, as did Sasha. Together, the three of them followed the group to the trees, right outside the walls. It was a smaller forest, but wide enough that each set of recruits could get their own path. The trees were marked with colored ribbons. Rowan had to follow the black ribbons. She was in the middle of the group with Jean in front of her and Annie behind her. No pressure. She bid her friends farewell and took her place in line. She was bouncing in nervous anticipation, her stomach twisting into a knot. Jean glanced over his shoulder.
"Will you quit it? You're making me nervous." He grumbled and she scowled at him.
"Mind your business and you wouldn't be so nervous." She quipped, shaking her hands out to dry them off. She hadn't realized how sweaty her palms were. Jean rolled his eyes, turning back to face the front. He'd be fine. He was one of the best with the ODM gear. Annie was too and of course Rowan was between them. They were given the signal and the recruits took off. Rowan kept pace with them, not wanting to piss Annie or the others behind her off. As Jean launched himself up, Rowan gulped. She aimed and shut her eyes, the wind whipping her hair back. Her eyes snapped open as she felt the line of her gear give a little. She was almost to the tree. She locked on the next tree, firing her grappling hook without looking down. That's it, that's the key. She just couldn't look down and she'd be fine. Easy. Hook the tree, trigger the gas, feel the moment the line gives a little, and repeat, She kept pace with Jean, almost enjoying herself as they flew from tree to tree. It was almost freeing, moving this fast through the forest.
Her peaceful existence was shattered when Jean hit a weak branch. It creaked in protest, bark shattering as it dropped to the forest floor. Jean was quick to recover, continuing to maneuver through the trees. Unfortunately for Rowan, she made the mistake of looking down at the ground to see where the branch landed. Her stomach squeezed, nearly sending bile up her throat. Before she could react, her body slammed into the trunk of a tree, the bark rough against her exposed skin. Well shit. There was nothing for her to grab onto and she started falling. She didn't have time to react, her mind preoccupied with internal screaming. Before she could splat against the ground, something tugged on one of her grappling hooks. Her body halted, hanging upside down. She swung slightly back and forth, her eyes trained on the forest floor. Her body lifted slightly and she shut her eyes so she wouldn't vomit. Maybe a Titan grabbed her. If this was how she went out, she'd be severely disappointed, but so be it.
"Oi, idiot. Open your eyes." That voice. A hand gripped her ankle and tightened, still holding her upside down. She strained her neck to move her head so she could see her savior. "Mind telling me what the hell you're doing?"
"Nice catch Captain." She spoke woozily, a smile on her face. So today wasn't the day she lost her life.
"Tch." With that, her happiness was short-lived as she free-falled for a few seconds before hitting the ground. The force on her back knocked the wind out of her and she laid there in a daze. "Get up." Captain Levi growled.
"Your wish is my command." She sat up, her head in a fog. She just caught sight of his scowl before she shut her eyes to stop the world from spinning. She coughed roughly and frowned. "Sir, free-falling sucks. I don't recommend it."
"No shit. Now get up." He muttered bitterly and she groaned, trying to stand.
"Sir, I don't think I can. Just leave me here. I'll find my way back eventually." She mumbled, just wanting to shut her eyes and take a nap. The anxiety and nausea exhausted her.
"I'd love to, really. I can't though. It's against the rules. Get up."
"Since when did you actually care about the recruits?" She grumbled. He chose now to actually behave like a commanding officer?
"Since I'm being watched by nearly the entire garrison. Get up." She could tell by his voice that he was getting more frustrated with her.
"So everyone is staring at me?"
"Not yet, but I can arrange that."
"No! I'll sit up. I promise. Give me a minute." She huffed, taking a deep breath. He didn't respond so she enjoyed her minute. When she sat up, the world spun again and she groaned, flopping back down on the ground.
"Pathetic." Captain Levi grumbled before Rowan was no longer on the ground. She clung to the person who was carrying her, digging into their skin with her nails. "I will drop you back onto the ground if you don't get your claws out of my skin." Was Captain Levi the one carrying her? She slowly opened her eyes and was met with Captain Levi's chin.
"Sir?" She was bewildered, squirming slightly to get out of his arms.
"You probably have a concussion. Stop moving." He ordered and her body listened, going still in his arms.
"Rowan! What happened? Are you okay?" Armin. She assumed they just passed him. She leaned up to reassure him, but Captain Levi just continued walking, breezing by all the recruits.
"Wait! Sir. Can I tell my friends that I'm okay?" She tried to look in his eyes, but he was staring straight ahead.
"No."
"Why not?" She didn't quite like his flat answer.
"You can tell them yourself after."
"After what?"
"Just stop talking." That took her by surprise. She frowned, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You might have saved my life, but you're incredibly grouchy. Are you always like this? I don't know how your squad puts up with it." She muttered and in a moment, she was on the ground. Her back was going to be blackened at this rate. "What was that for? You're the one being an asshole!"
"If you can chatter away like that, you can walk. Get up." He muttered, glaring down at her. She gulped and pushed herself to her feet. Though unsteady, she could walk.
"I'm just going to go rest now. Thanks for the save." He grabbed her shoulder though and redirected her towards medical.
"You're going to medical. Keep walking." She really wasn't in the state to argue, so she just listened. She stayed quiet the rest of the way there, though she did notice that he walked oddly close to her. When they arrived at the infirmary, he gestured for her to sit while he checked her in. She lowered herself in the chair, noting the sharp pain in her back and arms. Her head also throbbed and she found it difficult to focus. She leaned her elbow on her knee and used her hand to keep her head up while she rested her eyes. She figured Captain Levi would just shake her awake if she drifted off.
"Ms. Mixerton?" A gentle voice spoke and she opened her eyes to see a small nurse standing before her. "Follow me dear and let me know if you need help." She held her arms out in case Rowan needed something to help her up, but she managed to get to her feet okay. She followed the nurse to one of the examination rooms. "You can take a seat here. So, Captain Levi said you had a hard fall from a tree?"
"Yes, I did. I got distracted when another recruit knocked a branch down. I missed my target and fell. Where is Captain Levi?" She decided to leave out the part where the Captain caught her and dropped her again. He was nice enough to walk her here, even if it was his job. So, she would keep her mouth shut unless he really pissed her off. The nurse wrote a few things down.
"He had a few things to take care of. We will make sure someone is here to walk you to the dorms. Let me go get the doctor." She smiled kindly before walking out. He had things to take care of, so he just abandoned her at the infirmary? She didn't even know how to get back to the dorms from here on her own. She didn't even trust herself to walk on her own, let alone navigate her own way. She didn't have time to dwell on it though. The doctor came right in, removed her ODM gear, and took his time examining her. She felt like she was poked and prodded for hours. The final diagnosis was she was badly bruised on her ribs and arms. She also had a mild concussion. They gave her some pain medication and instructions to rest for the remainder of the week and stay hydrated. She was told to sit in the waiting room and that she wasn't allowed to walk far on her own.
She felt like a child, unable to take care of herself. She'd have to miss a few days of training too and she didn't even want to think about what her friends or the other recruits were going to say about her ridiculous display. Plus, she was carried back to the camp by Captain Levi. If her fall didn't become the talk of the camp, that incident surely would. She groaned, hanging her head. Maybe she didn't have what it took to be a soldier. She could always leave. It wasn't treason until she was actually a soldier. She could just disappear and run back to her village. No one would even be able to find her. She had almost convinced herself when Armin's, Sasha's, Conny's, Eren's, and Mikasa's faces popped into her head. Her friends. She couldn't abandon them. If they were fighting for humanity and risking their lives, she would fight by their side too, even if she was terrified. A boot fell into her view and kicked her foot. Her eyes widened and she glanced up to meet cloudy gray eyes.
"Let's go. It's getting late." He turned to head out of the infirmary.
"Captain Levi?" She couldn't believe that he actually came back for her. "What are you doing here?"
"I brought you here. You're my responsibility. Let's go." It was a subpar explanation, but made logical sense. She stood, firmly placing her feet on the ground. Her legs were a little shaky, but she could walk on her own. She followed after him as they ventured out into the night. Nothing looked familiar to her though and she kept quiet. They walked for a while in silence, Captain Levi guiding her. "You're awfully quiet."
"I thought you'd appreciate it." She mumbled and he hummed in acknowledgement. She didn't have the energy to talk aimlessly and she certainly didn't have the energy to argue with him about nonsense. Eventually, they reached a building that looked nothing like the dorms. "Sir? Where are we?" The place looked familiar, but her brain couldn't piece the hazy memories together.
"Come on." He gestured for her to follow, not bothering to answer her. As they wandered the halls, they eventually stumbled upon a familiar face.
"Good evening Captain! Rowan! Nice to see you." Petra smiled kindly, saluting the Captain before giving Rowan a small wave.
"Petra." Levi nodded in greeting. "Watch over Rowan for a little while. I have a few things I need to take care of. She had a fall during training today and gave herself a concussion. Make sure she doesn't fall asleep just yet." Without another word, Captain Levi vanished down another hallway, leaving Rowan with a smiling Petra.
"Ouch, rough day?" She glanced over at Rowan and Rowan nodded. "If you want to talk about it, I'm all ears. It really helped me get through training when I talked about my bad days." She led her to a small room at the end of the hallway. The lamp gave the room a warm glow. There was one large window with a bed tucked under it. A desk resided to the right and a dresser with a bookshelf to the left. "Make yourself at home." She kicked off her shoes and tossed her cloak on the back of her desk chair. She placed her ODM gear in a closet Rowan didn't notice at first. Rowan thought over Petra's offer. She was an experienced soldier, trusted by humanity's strongest soldier. Not even that, but Petra seemed very kind and didn't seem like the judgemental type.
"Could I tell you about what happened?" Rowan studied Petra's reaction and the woman smiled brightly.
"Yes, of course!" She hopped up on her bed, sitting cross-legged by the pillow. She patted the other side of her bed with her hand and Rowan slowly maneuvered onto the bed. It was much softer than the bed recruits got to use, but she supposed it made sense.
"Today was the first day we used our ODM gear in the woods." She started, but quickly stopped as a realization dawned on her. She left her gear at the infirmary. She was going to get ripped apart. "Oh, shit. I left my gear. I need to go get it." She went to get up, but Petra stopped her.
"Don't worry about it. You'll be out of commission for a few days. You can get it once you're feeling better. Continue with your story." She smiled encouragingly and Rowan nodded, lowering herself back down.
"So, I was really anxious and nauseous all day. We lined up to go and Jean snapped at me because my bouncing around made him on edge. He was in front of me and tried to use a very unsturdy branch for leverage. He sent it crashing down and recovered but my dumb ass looked at the branch. When I realized how high I was, I got dizzy and almost threw up. Then I smacked into a tree…"
"Are you afraid of heights?" She inquired. Rowan side-eyed her, but there was no judgement in her eyes, just pure concern. She nodded, keeping her head down. "Wow. You're quite impressive Rowan." That floored Rowan. She wasn't expecting that response.
"Because I hit a tree?"
"No, you weirdo! Because you faced your fear head on! Nobody forced you to be a soldier and despite knowing you'd have to use ODM gear, you joined anyway. It's quite admirable."
"Captain Levi didn't seem to think so." She thought back to when he caught her and just let her hit the ground anyway. Granted, not as hard as she would have if he hadn't caught her. It still hurt and left her with a concussion though.
"I know Captain Levi can seem a little rough when you first meet him, but give him a chance. Just be honest with him about your fear. He really does appreciate honesty. He also offered to watch over you tonight, so he must not think that little of you." She placed a hand on Rowan's knee and squeezed it reassuringly. Rowan appreciated the effort, but she didn't fully buy it.
"Yeah and look how that turned out. He left me here with you, not that I mind. I thought superiors had to watch over us anyway. He's the one that found me, so I thought he was just stuck with me." She sighed, leaning her back against the window.
"Oh, you don't know?" Petra's eyes widened.
"Know what?"
"Well, I might have already known what happened at training today. I saw it from where I was stationed, but I thought it would help you to talk about it." She smiled sheepishly. Rowan wasn't mad at her though. It did actually help to get it out in the open. If she could tell Petra, she could definitely tell her friends the truth. Rowan nodded for her to continue. "Oluo was actually stationed where you fell. He didn't react fast enough and Captain Levi acted on instinct. He was determined to get to you before you hit the ground, even though he was technically on Titan watch. He should have gotten Oluo to bring you to the infirmary, but he just did it himself. You also should have stayed in the infirmary overnight, but he said you didn't like being alone at night, so he was bringing you here, to our temporary dorms." Petra spilled everything to Rowan and she couldn't believe it. Captain Levi was actually looking out for her? "He doesn't like to show it, but he is a good person."
"I thought he was forced to watch over me…"
"Nope! I'm not sure where he ran off to now, but I know he will be back soon." Petra assured her with a smile and Rowan nodded, somewhat lost in thought. How was she wrong about him? She thought she could read him so easily, but maybe she was just fooling herself. A yawn shook Rowan's body and Petra smiled warmly. "You had a rough day. Why don't you get some sleep until the Captain gets back? I'm sure an hour or so won't hurt. I'll just be reading at my desk." Rowan considered her words for a moment and nodded. A quick nap would do her some good. She mumbled a thank-you and curled up on a superior's bed. It's not how she expected her day to go, but she supposed it could have been worse. She slowly drifted off to sleep, but didn't even have time to dream before she was startled awake by cold water splashing against her face. Looks like her day got worse.
"Petra? What the hell was that for?" She growled, rubbing her eyes furiously.
"What do you think you're doing?" Captain Levi. Rowan fixed a glare on the man standing before her,
"I was just taking a quick nap! Petra and I agreed that an hour or so wouldn't hurt. You know, it's one thing to leave me soaking, but now Petra's bed is going to be drenched." She snapped at him and he sighed.
"Too bad that's a couch."
"A couch?" Rowan glanced around the room. There were a few candles lit on the desk under the window. The couch was pressed against the wall, a wide bookshelf placed across from it. A small stove was placed by the door and a table with a kettle resided across from it. Two steaming mugs were there as well. "But I...I fell asleep in Petra's room."
"Yes and I brought you to my office. I tried to wake you, but you didn't respond to shaking or my voice."
"So obviously the answer was to almost drown me in my sleep." She muttered, ringing out her shirt.
"It worked." His voice held no remorse as he tossed a pile of clothes on the dry end of the couch. "Petra thought you'd be more comfortable in these." Rowan touched the soft fabric with her hands. It reminded her of the clothes she left behind. She glanced at the nightgown, noticing how thin the material was. At least Petra gave her a cardigan to put over it. Levi stepped out of his office, giving Rowan the privacy to change. She changed swiftly, pulling the cardigan around her. The material was soft and gentle against her skin. She didn't feel like a soldier anymore, she felt like a princess.
"I'm decent." She spoke softly and Captain Levi returned quickly. He handed her a mug before dropping down onto the floor, crossing his legs. "That can't be comfortable." There was another cushion that wasn't soaked from his earlier assault. There was also the desk chair tucked neatly under the desk, yet the Captain decided to sit on the floor.
"I'm fine." He huffed, sipping at whatever was in the mug. Rowan sniffed at the mug he had handed her, curiously. "It's black tea, not poison."
"So basically the same thing." Rowan teased. She wasn't quite fond of how bitter it smelled. "Why do you hold your mug like that?" She noted how his hand was on the top, holding the mug from above rather than by its handle.
"Like what?" He paused, eying his hand and mug before studying the way she was holding it.
"Like the mug will burn your hand off if you hold it too tightly. You know mugs have handles, right?" She giggled, taking a sip of the tea. Her nose scrunched and she fought the urge to spit the hot liquid from her mouth. It was more bitter than it smelled, the taste almost nauseating. "Oh no no no no. Do you have honey or sugar or anything sweet?" She placed the mug on the ground, hanging her tongue out of her mouth in hope that the taste would just magically evaporate. Levi's eyes were narrowed when she poked fun at him for the mug, but they were wide now. The corners of his lips turned up in a slight smile and Rowan felt lighter. His face looked softer with the hardly-there smile and she couldn't help but smile back at the man.
"Stop being ridiculous and drink your tea." He looked as if he wanted to say more, but he stopped there anyway. He pulled his gaze away, staring out the window instead.
"No way. I can't. You really don't have anything? Not even lemon?" She rambled before pushing herself up and opening the small cabinet that she hadn't noticed was tucked under the table until now. She started pulling tea, mugs, cloths, candles, and small snack boxes from under the table. "Who drinks black tea at night anyway? Are you trying to keep us from ever sleeping?" She quipped before a dark presence appeared behind her. She paused from her frantic digging, her shoulders tense. She turned her head slowly, glancing over her shoulder to see Captain Levi towering over her. His eyes were dark, fury settling in his irises. She gulped, ducking her head down.
"Get up. Get out. Go see if Hange has anything for your tea." He growled and even though Rowan had no idea where Hange was, she sprung to her feet and threw open the door. Her ear was gripped and tugged back though and Captain Levi yanked until her ear was by his face, fingers pinching the sensitive cartilage. "One more thing. Make a mess of my belongings again, and it'll be the last thing you ever do." His voice was deep and unwavering. Anyone else could say that to her and she would laugh it off, but Captain Levi saying it? It terrified her.
"Yes sir! I'm sorry sir!" As soon as he released her ear, he knelt down to reorganize the cabinet. She sprinted out of the room and down the hallway, not looking back. She couldn't handle anymore of the man's fury. She hurried down the hall, the socks on her feet brushing against the hardwood floor. All the doors were closed and she didn't recognize any of the names on the door besides Commander Erwin. Though she didn't want to bother him, having no idea what time it was, she'd rather face the commander than Levi, at least until he calmed down. She knocked gently, her hand shaking with nerves. She hadn't spoken directly to the commander before and doing so in a night gown was probably a stupid idea. She turned on her toes to leave, but the door opened before she could get out of sight. She turned back and smiled, giving the commander a wave. Her hand froze midair and she swung it into a salute.
"Good evening Commander Erwin! I apologize for being a bother, sir!" She spoke with her eyes shut, saluting until she heard him chuckle. Her eyes snapped open wide, thrown off by his response.
"You must be Rowan Mixerton. You're a recruit wanting to join the Scouts, right?" His eyes were kind, yet his expression was stoic. He didn't appear as if he had just laughed, but maybe his expressions changed swiftly. She nodded.
"Yes sir. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for Hange."
"Hange? I'm afraid they're down in the research lab. They may not be back for a few hours. What do you need?" He inquired and Rowan really didn't want to tell the commander that she needed honey because his Captain was trying to kill her with the most bitter liquid she ever drank.
"I was looking for honey, sir. Captain Levi suggested I seek out Hange." She spoke softly and he nodded in understanding.
"His tea can be a bit strong. Here, you can have this. I don't use it much." He handed her a small jar of golden liquid. Honey!
"Thank-you so much Sir! I really appreciate it." Rowan bounced in excitement, the tiny jar in her hands. He nodded, grabbing the door to shut it.
"Rest up and get back to work as soon as you can, soldier." She saluted him again, a big smile on her face. He shut the door and she hurried down the hallway, nearly colliding with Captain Levi as he opened his office door. His eyes widened and he grabbed Rowan's shoulders to steady her, but Rowan was more concerned with the honey that was tumbling to the ground. Captain Levi was quick though and he caught it right before it shattered on the ground.
"I thought I told you to go see Hange." He grumbled, stepping aside so she could walk back in. He placed the jar on the table. She crossed her hands behind her back and chewed on her lip.
"Well...see...I didn't know where to find them. So, I asked Commander Erwin for help." She mumbled under her breath and Captain Levi's head snapped to glare right at her.
"You bothered the Commander at this hour...for honey?" He stepped closer to her and she scrambled to back up, her heels hitting the bottom of the couch.
"Yes, but he had some! He gave me the jar. He was very nice...much nicer than you." She mumbled the last part under her breath and he shut his eyes, pinching his nose as he took a deep breath.
"Just sit down. Don't bother the Commander for frivolous things." He ordered and Rowan snatched the jar of honey and a spoon from the jar on the table. She swirled the honey in the tea, grateful the tea was still hot enough. "I am nice." Rowan barely caught the whisper leaving his lips and she smiled softly, thinking of what Petra had said.
"You are. Thank-you for taking care of me." Even when you don't actually have to. She didn't speak that last part aloud. Her knowing he didn't actually have to watch over her would be a secret only her and Petra shared. She sipped at her tea and was content with the flavor swirling on her tongue. Much better. The Captain nodded and she was oddly content with his response. She watched as Levi tucked his head away from her and sat at his desk, pulling files from the bottom drawer. His shoulders tensed as he flipped through the stack of papers. He pulled one form out and Rowan's eyes widened. It was at least twenty pages long and Captain Levi sighed. He flipped through it, taking his time to read each page carefully. Rowan had watched, sipping her tea until the last drop was gone. "Sir, what are you doing?" She couldn't help her curiosity.
"Filling out an incident report. I haven't had to do one of these in years." He muttered, flipping through the pages aimlessly once again.
"Well, I can try to help!" She bounced up with her mug and maneuvered to stand by his side. She placed her empty mug on the edge of the desk and leaned forward. Her eyes scanned over the page he was on and it required a documented account of what happened. "Oh, I can do that easily!" She snatched the papers and sat on the floor beside him. Levi glanced down at her, his eyes narrowed.
"It's supposed to be written by the commanding officer."
"Like anyone will actually care." She laughed. "Look, it's not like I was going to sign my name or anything. It's my fault you have to write this and it's not like I can sleep anytime soon anyway. Let me do it." She extended her hand for the writing utensil and he frowned. "Come on. Give it here." She wiggled her fingers and he sighed, rolling his eyes. Despite his response, he still placed the quil in her hand.
"Don't write any lies." He huffed and a smirk touched her lips. She took her time, writing her memory as neat as she could, keeping her thoughts organized. She made sure to write it from an outsider's perspective, as if she had watched what happened from the safety of a tree.
"Recruit Rowan Mixerton succumbed to her fear of heights when idiot and resident pain in the ass recruit Jean Kirstein sent a rather large branch crash landing to the forest floor. Distracted and paralyzed by fear, recruit Mixerton slammed into the trunk of a tree before free-falling. After she had accepted her fate and welcomed death, humanity's strongest soldier, Captain Levi Ackerman, came to the rescue. He caught her by her grappling hook. She was grateful and rejoiced, but then things took a turn. Her savior was cruel and let her dangle, blood rushing to her head. Then he dropped her right on her back. She smacked her head against the ground and acquired a severe concussion. Then after being rudely kicked and verbally assaulted by her most trusted Captain, Mixerton was hauled off the ground and taken to the infirmary. She only made it halfway in the arms of her savior though before he dumped her on her ass and made her walk the rest of the way. Signed, Levi Ackerman." She gave him her best story-telling voice as she scanned over the lines of the form. Though that wasn't anything close to what she had written, she was quite proud of her story. "Does that sound accurate to you Sir?" She smiled sweetly at him, giving him her best doe eyes.
"You're scared of heights?" His brow was raised, his eyes trained on her gaze.
"All that, and that's what you choose to focus on?"
"I'll get to the rest later." He insisted and Rowan sighed. She hung her head, glancing away from him.
"Yes. I'm terrified of heights. Most soldiers have nightmares of Titans devouring them. Not me. I have nightmares of my ODM gear failing me and free-falling to my death. I wish I could be braver." She took Petra's advice and was just honest with him. His gaze was thoughtful when Rowan stole a glance at him. What took them both by surprise was when Captain Levi placed a hand on her head, ruffling her hair.
"From what I have seen, you have talent. You just need to trust yourself more. Once you have faith in yourself and in your skills, you won't have to fear heights anymore. You're the one in control, not your fear. Just acknowledge it and let it coexist peacefully. Bravery isn't the absence of fear. It's the acknowledgement of fear and the perseverance to keep going in spite of it." With that, he grabbed the stack of papers from her and signed off on the paragraph she wrote. She was silent, thinking over what he said. "Also, you'll learn eventually that I'm here to make you stronger. Not just to be cruel."
"You know, I'm starting to realize that. Thank-you sir." She spoke softly, moving over to lay on the couch. "So you're not even going to read what I wrote? What if I actually wrote everything I said?"
"I trust that you wrote an accurate account of what happened. Get some rest. If you can handle reading and writing, I'm sure you can handle sleeping. It'll be morning in a few hours." He waved her concerns off and began filling the rest of the pages out.
"You're not afraid I'll succumb to my injuries in my sleep anymore?"
"Tch. A few hours shouldn't kill you. If they do, then at least you'll have a peaceful passing."
"Gee thanks Captain Morbid. Will you at least avenge me?" She shut her eyes, suddenly realizing just how tired she was. She slipped into a deep slumber before she could even hear Captain Levi's response.