The next day, after hardly sleeping and spilling all her worries to poor Marco, Rowan found herself dragged up the stairs and thrown into the center of a courtroom. She was handcuffed and chained to a post behind Eren. The cuffs dug into her skin even more now, rubbing her wrists raw. The blood oozed around the cuffs and she did her best to stay still to keep them from cutting deeper. She had zoned out for most of the deliberation as they droned on about why they were there. They started with Eren, arguing over how dangerous he was. They claimed he was uncontrollable and had to be eliminated at once. Even Mikasa couldn't defend him, having to be honest about when he attacked her in Titan form. That was news to Rowan and her heart broke for Mikasa. The girl looked like she blamed herself despite it being out of her control. From the looks of the deliberation so far, the garrison and military police didn't trust either of them. Soldiers, merchants, townspeople, and their fellow comrades feared them. As Rowan tuned back in, she just caught Eren trying to defend himself, claiming he would rip every Titan apart. As he droned on, the military police tightened their grips on their guns. Eren wasn't doing himself any favors with his desperate plea. He yelled at them to put their faith in him, his voice echoing through the courtroom.
Before he could dig himself a bigger grave, Levi launched himself into the center. He kicked Eren right across the face, one of Eren's teeth flying from his mouth. Rowan watched the piece of bone bounce across the ground and land by one of the angry merchants. Mikasa and Armin jumped to their feet, appalled by the action. Rowan trusted Levi though and promised herself that the trust wouldn't waiver again. For whatever reason, he deemed it necessary to be violent. He punched Eren over and over, adding kicks to bloody his face. Levi spun and kicked him once more, holding Eren's head to the post with his foot. He crossed his arms over his chest, not even breaking a sweat.
"Now, he doesn't seem like much of a threat to me. Look at him. He can't even fight back. He doesn't need a good talking to, he needs hard discipline. I could easily end his life with no remorse if deemed necessary." Levi muttered, narrowing his gaze at Eren before focusing on Premier Zachary. "I take full responsibility for Eren Yeager. He will join my squad on the Scouts. We will take him out on a trial, exploration mission. If it is successful, Eren will maintain his position on the Scouts as a vital resource of strength and knowledge. You will find that Commander Erwin agrees with my proposition" Levi spoke strongly, his shoulders squared. Mostly everyone was shocked by his behavior, their jaws agape. Rowan was more impressed than shocked and Commander Erwin seemed to agree with Levi. The Commander nodded, matching Premier Zachary's gaze.
"And what about the witch?" Premier Zachary gestured to Rowan and she lifted her head higher, almost forgetting that she was on trial too.
"Are you sure she even is a witch? A jealous comrade cries wolf and suddenly Rowan Mixerton is deemed a monster without a second thought despite the fact that she risked her life to ensure Eren could seal the hole in the wall without hesitation. No one has actually seen her do anything out of the ordinary. She's subpar at following orders and frankly, is a pain in my ass. But she's one of the best and most promising soldiers I have ever seen. Why would she be wasting her time training if she was actually a witch with supposed 'uncontrollable power'." He let his foot drop off Eren's face, Eren's breath ragged as he slouched forward.
"If you can prove you can subdue her, I will consider allowing her to be under the watch of the Scouts and be your responsibility. She will be watched closely though, if that decision is made." Premier Zachary demanded, causing whispers to erupt throughout the room. Commander Erwin was watching Levi closely, his expression stoic.
"Tch." Levi glanced at her. She met his gaze and blinked slowly, dropping her head. She knew what he had to do to keep her alive and she was ready and willing. She waited, but he never struck. When she opened her eyes, he was squatting in front of her, eyes locked on her stare. He lifted his hand and flicked her right in the center of her forehead. She fell backwards from the impact, the shackles scraping against her skin. She cringed, blood oozing from her wrists.
"The hell was that for?" She was bewildered. What game was he playing?
"Excessive force is not necessary with you."
"Oh, har har." She quipped, narrowing her eyes at him. Was he serious? How did he think this would convince them he could subdue her?
"As you can see, she doesn't pose much of a threat. Since there is no proof of her so-called powers besides the words of a jealous recruit, I think it would be in humanity's best interest to let her join the Scouts. Rowan Mixerton just surpassed Annie Leonhart prior to graduation in the rankings. It's no surprise that she'd start a pointless witch hunt when tensions are already high over Eren Yeager's existence." Levi made a solid point and Premier Zachary nodded, thinking over his words. Rowan's head turned, eyes widening as she caught sight of one of the merchants. He was close, close enough that he didn't have to throw very hard to impale Rowan with the knife he was holding. He met her gaze and smirked before sending it flying. With her hands chained, she could only choose between using her powers to stop the knife, or letting it cut into her. This was the plan all along. Force her into a scenario where she had to use her abilities. Well, let the knife cut her. She wasn't going to play into their trap. She shut her eyes, body relaxing to ease the pain, but it never came. She slowly opened her eyes to see Levi standing in front of her, hand grasping the handle of the knife so tightly, his knuckles turned white.
"You think you have the right to harm a soldier? This soldier is already bloodied from facing Titans head on to protect you sorry excuses for humans. How about I throw this knife back at you? For all we know, you could be a witch." Levi flipped the blade, catching it firmly before angling it back at the merchant.
"No...I...I just thought…" The man was sweating now, ducking behind those nearby.
"You thought what? That you could put an end to a meaningless witch hunt by ending the life of a soldier? Was that your end goal? Never touch any of my soldiers." Levi's eyes narrowed, flicking the knife down so it stabbed through the wooden floor directly in front of the man. The man nodded, his body vibrating as he ducked to hide from Levi's line of sight. Commander Erwin was fixated on Levi, his expression calculating. Rowan knew Levi had to stop or they might notice how different their interactions were compared to his and Eren's.
"Look, I don't care what you do with me. I want to rip every single Titan apart and I can do that with this curse of having a Titan form. But if you decide to kill me, humanity needs Rowan as a soldier. Look at her records. She is right below Mikasa Ackerman. Both of their talents will rival Captain Levi's one day. You saw me turn into a Titan, I can't deny it. I deserve to be here, but have any of you seen Rowan do anything out of the ordinary? I haven't. Armin. Mikasa, Connie, Sasha, Petra, Squad Leader Hange, Captain Levi. We have all spent years with Rowan Mixerton and have never seen her use whatever magic she is suspected of. I don't know what's going on with Annie. Maybe she is just scared of me and scared of losing her choice to join the MPs. I don't really care what her reasons are. All I know is she lied to Commander Erwin and now it's up to you." Eren coughed, blood splattering the floor. He was sitting up taller, eyes trained on Premier Zachary.
"Save your breath." Premier Zachary shouted, his gaze falling on Rowan. She did her best to hide her flinch as his eyes locked on her wide eyes. "Rowan Mixerton. If I only allowed one of you to be in the protection of the Scouts, would you trade your life for Eren Yeager's?" Rowan narrowed her gaze. What did this guy want? Did he want her to beg for her life or did he want her to agree and by default, admit she was guilty. Levi had tensed beside her, his gaze calculating. She knew he was considering the options as well, but it's not like they would have a chance to discuss them. Rowan took a shaky breath, deciding to just be honest with her answer.
"Yes sir. I would trade my life for Eren Yeager's." She spoke simply, her tone unwavering. Whispers erupted through the courtroom and all eyes were now focused on her. She noticed Levi's fist clenching, but continued on regardless. "I know that you might think that's an admission of guilt, but I assure you that's not the case. I'm a soldier. I have wanted to be a member of the Scouts since I was a little girl. My dream was to fight for humanity and give my life for the cause." She took another breath, her eyes slipping to focus on Eren's bloodied body. "If I chose to save my own life over Eren's, I would be going against the very dream that brought me here, the dream that has kept me alive and fighting thus far. Eren could be the answer to putting an end to this war. He has amazing power and I believe that he can lead humanity to victory, but he has to be alive to do so. Meanwhile, I'm just one person. I'm replaceable in this war. Therefore, I would give my life, so Eren can live and fight." The moment the last word left her mouth, Eren glanced over his shoulder to lock eyes with her. His gaze held a mix of emotions, but primarily shock and confusion.
"Very well." Premier Zachary waved his hand, gesturing for the military police to step into the center. Rowan's heart sank, regret swirling in her core. She had chosen this path herself and she would follow it with integrity. She would miss her friends dearly, but she would be able to see her mother again. Perhaps this was the way to right all the wrongs she had done. She hung her head, not wanting to stare down the barrel of the gun that would end her life. She expected to see the floor splattered with her blood from the wounds on her wrists, but instead, she saw shoes. She flinched and looked up to see Levi staring her down. His eyes held a wild, uncontrolled fury that was foreign on his features. He was furious and disgusted with her decision. It wasn't his choice to make though, it was Rowan's. He took a breath to compose himself before he tore his gaze from her stare and turned to face Premier Zachary.
"What sick game is this? You have no proof that this soldier is a witch and yet you are willing to end her life just because she thinks Eren Yeager's is more important than her own? We need both of them as members of the Scouts to ensure the survival of humanity. I thought we were stronger than this. Why are we letting fear dictate our future?" Levi. Why was he fighting so hard for their survival? He would be fine without her. He was the strongest person she knew and he was the only person she trusted to end this war. He didn't need her getting in the way of that.
"Forgive my interruption, but I'd like to ask you to consider a different outcome. Captain Levi Ackerman will take responsibility for Eren Yeager and I will take responsibility for Rowan Mixerton." Commander Erwin spoke, his voice clear and strong. The whole courtroom fell silent, all eyes locked on him. Rowan's heart faltered before kicking up to a rapid tempo. She almost couldn't hear Commander Erwin over the beating in her ears. "I assure you that I am just as capable of watching over a soldier that may or may not be a witch." Premier Zachary contemplated this and Rowan focused on Levi, her gaze locked on his. Commander Erwin spoke in support of her. He put his reputation out on the line for her. She was incredibly grateful, her body relaxing slightly as Premier Zachary nodded.
"It is decided. Both Eren Yeager and Rowan Mixerton will be released to the Scouts immediately. Captain Levi Ackerman will be responsible for Eren Yeager and Commander Erwin Smith will be responsible for Rowan Mixerton, having to eliminate them if they become a threat to humanity. You are all dismissed." Rowan sighed in relief, wanting nothing more than to hug Levi and let out every tear she had been holding in. She didn't understand why Commander Erwin decided to save her, but she was incredibly grateful and would make sure to prove her worth. The crowd erupted in protest of the decision, but they were silenced by surrounding guards. A military police officer reluctantly tossed the keys to Levi before sulking off. He swiftly unlocked the cuffs around Rowan's wrists before tossing the keys to Mikasa, who had jumped into the center. Armin followed and the pair knelt around Eren. Levi pulled Rowan's attention back when he rubbed his finger gently around her wounded wrists. He then squatted down in front of her so they were eye level. He placed his hand directly on her head, fingers digging into her scalp and tangling with her hair.
"Never say you're replaceable, ever again. You got that?" His voice was soft, ensuring only she could hear him. She nodded, her watery eyes wide. "You idiot." He huffed, and though he insulted her, his tone was warm. She knew what he meant by that. He looked as if he wanted to say more, but instead, he untangled his fingers from her hair and got to his feet. "Rowan Mixerton. Eren Yeager. Welcome to the Scouts. There are a few things we must accomplish before leaving on our mission. Let's go." With that, he turned and headed out of the building, towards the carriage that was waiting for them.
"Levi, could I have a moment? We will be right out." Rowan stood, her legs still weak, but supporting her weight. He nodded, studying her for a moment before going to wait by the door. Rowan snatched Eren's tooth that was residing on the ground, slipping it into her pocket before stepping over to the trio. Armin turned and threw his arms around her.
"Rowan! I'm so glad you're okay! The others are going to be so grateful." She returned his hug before extending a hand to help Eren to his feet.
"Thanks. I'm glad everything worked out for now. Come on Eren. We better get moving before we face the Captain's wrath." She giggled and he looked up at her.
"I told you I didn't trust you and now, with the roles reversed, you extend your trust to me and are willing to give your life for mine. Why?"
"That's what you're worried about right now? Look, I don't care if you trust me. You were scared and had every right to be cautious. I watched you lift a boulder and close a gaping hole that could have led to the downfall of humanity. You ripped Titans apart without a second thought. You haven't given me a reason not to trust you. So, let's go." She smiled and he nodded, accepting her hand along with her answer. She pulled him to his feet and they said their goodbyes to Armin and Mikasa, following Levi to the carriage. They rode in silence, eventually reaching an outpost that was covered in vines and dust. The lawns and shrubbery were overgrown, the place looking abandoned.
"Welcome to the original Scouts HQ. This will be your new home. I expect it to be sparkling within the next few hours. There are supplies on the first floor. Get to work." Levi flung the doors open, a cloud of dust forming around his head. He coughed, tying a white cloth around his mouth, shielding his face from the dirt. He tied a white bandana around his head to cover his hair before rolling up his shirt sleeves. He grabbed a broom and got to work without another word.
"He really is a clean freak." Eren huffed, reluctantly grabbing a broom and duster.
"Yeah, he really is." Rowan giggled, grabbing a bucket. She didn't care if they had to scrub every single inch of the building. She would do it happily because she was given a chance to live and continue fighting.
"Hold on there you two! Let me get you both cleaned up!" Hange bounced in, grabbing Eren's wrist and dragging him to the closest room. Rowan followed, grabbing the tooth she had taken. As Hange was frantically gathering supplies, Rowan stepped up next to them.
"Hey Hange. I found this in the courtroom and thought it might be useful...for research. It's Eren's tooth." Rowan extended her palm, tooth in the center. Hange squealed, eyes wide as they took a tissue from their pocket and wrapped the tooth in it.
"You have a good eye! You truly must be a budding scientist!" Hange danced around Rowan, tucking the tooth away for safekeeping before blotting the blood off Eren's face. Though it was sweet of Hange, most of Eren's injuries were healing themselves. The blood evaporated, steam rolling off his limbs. When Eren was taken care of, Hange made sure to wipe the blood off of Rowan's hands. Before they could even begin bandaging her wounds, Levi poked his head in, gaze scanning over everyone. Eren flinched as he approached, so Levi took the liberty of dropping down onto the couch next to him. He crossed his left leg over his right, extending his arms to rest on the back of the couch. Rowan rolled her eyes, knowing Levi was enjoying intimidating Eren a little too much.
"Eren. You don't resent me now, do you?" He locked eyes with Eren and Eren shrunk back a bit. Levi was just baiting him now, but Eren wasn't as clueless as he anticipated.
"No." Eren cleared his throat. "I can see that what you did back there was necessary, Sir. I appreciate your effort." He flinched slightly, swallowing harshly in response.
"Good...good. Glad you understand." Levi nodded, but Hange puffed their cheeks out.
"You knocked his tooth out for crying out loud. You went too far Levi. He shouldn't have to understand." They scolded him, eyes narrowed as they freed the tooth from their pocket. They opened the tissue for Levi to see it.
"You picked it up? How disgusting." His nose crinkled and Rowan felt a smile touch her lips. Levi was truly adorable with his nose all scrunched.
"This is a precious sample! Rowan, you agree with me, don't you? You are the one who gave me the tooth after all." Hange just had to rope her into it. She smiled sheepishly.
"I….uh...yeah." She nodded, giving them her best sheepish smile.
"Tch. You're both disgusting." Levi locked eyes with Rowan and it was her turn to puff her cheeks out in annoyance.
"It's for science." She tried defending herself, though her passions and interests definitely fell short compared to Hange.
"Oh, really? Since when did you care that much about science?" Levi challenged, brow raised in a question. She didn't really care about science, but she cared about furthering their Titan knowledge to help their cause.
"Since she became my friend and associate! Maybe Rowan will end up on my squad instead." Hange teased, a grin on their lips. They nudged Rowan's shoulder, jostling her.
"So be it." Levi turned his head away, glaring out the door.
"But...I..." Rowan really hoped Hange wasn't serious. As much as she admired Hange's eccentric spirit and passion for research, she wanted to be on Levi's squad. Even before her feelings played into it, she wanted to work with him and his squad. Now that she knew he wasn't holding her feelings against her, she knew it's where she belonged. Of course, that was before the Commander took responsibility for her. She didn't even know if she could be on a squad.
"Oh, don't you worry silly goose. I won't take you away from your man. It's all in good fun." Hange brushed her off. They both turned to see Levi glaring at them, his gaze threatening and dark. "Well, okay then! Eren, when you're done cleaning, come down to my lab, okay?" Hange spoke quickly before bouncing out of the room.
"Get cleaning. Both of you." Levi snapped and Eren shot up, grabbing Rowan's forearm and pulling her out of the room. She got to work, not wanting to aggravate Levi even more. She grabbed a bucket and a mop before wandering down the hallway. She did her best to clean the rooms downstairs, her wounded legs and wrists not really cooperating the whole time.
"Rowan!" Rowan recognized that voice. She turned to see Petra running down the hallway. The woman hugged her tightly, bouncing with excitement when she let go. "I'm so glad you're okay! I was so worried about you. Captain told me what happened, but it was so hard to believe! I can't believe they thought you were a monster!"
"Yeah, I'm alright. I was a little shaken up, but everything worked out." She smiled sheepishly, trying to shake the guilty feeling away. She wanted to tell Petra the truth, but it was better that she kept it a secret for now. She would have to tell the rest of the squad, but she could wait until they were out on their first mission for that. She had to show them she wasn't a monster first.
"You shouldn't be cleaning. You should be resting and recovering from your injuries! Don't let the Captain push you too hard, okay?" She glanced over her bandaged leg and her bloodied wrists.
"I'm okay, honest. Don't worry about me." She assured her, forcing a wider smile. Petra didn't look like she believed her, but she nodded anyway.
"Okay. I'm going to get back to cleaning, but come find me if you're in any pain, okay?"
"I will. Thank-you Petra." She received a swift hug from Petra once more before the woman hurried back down the hallway. Rowan gathered up the cleaning supplies, balancing a mop in a bucket along with a broom and window cleaner Hange invented. When she turned to go into the last room in her section, she startled, dropping the cleaning supplies everywhere. Levi was leaning against the wall, eyes trained on her.
"You can tell Petra the truth if you'd are a member of the same squad now and you will have to depend on each other." He spoke, untying the bandana from his face. He folded it neatly, tucking it away.
"But…I thought I was under Commander Erwin's supervision. I didn't think I could join a squad…" Rowan's eyes widened and Levi tilted his head.
"I already discussed this with Erwin. I would like for you and Eren to join my squad. He seemed amicable to the idea, so I suppose it is up to you. You can join Hange's squad instead, if that aligns better with your aspirations." A frown touched his lips and she shook her head.
"No, no. I want to join your squad. That's been my goal since I started as a recruit. I'd be honored to serve under you." Rowan saluted him, throwing a wink in for good measure. Levi rolled his eyes, turning away from her. Her hand shot out and snatched his wrist. "In all seriousness, I would love to fight by your side. There's nowhere else I'd rather be." Her tone was sincere and Levi paused, glancing down at her hand.
"Well, welcome to the squad then. I'm happy to have you. I'm sure the others will be excited to have you join us as well. I do still think you should tell Petra the truth. She's quite fond of you." The corners of his lips tipped up into a hint of a smile, his gaze warm.
"I know, but I want to wait until we leave on our first mission. I think I need to let the whole witch hunt thing simmer for a bit. She unintentionally labeled me a monster and I don't think I can handle her reaction yet." She admitted, releasing Levi's wrist and twiddling her fingers together. Levi frowned for a moment before gesturing for her to follow him. She struggled up the stairs after him, pausing for a breath every few steps. Eventually she made it to the top and Levi was waiting in the closest room, bandages spread across the table.
"Petra simply has a misconception about witches. Since you were treated the same as Eren, who can fabricate into a Titan, she assumed being a witch would be equivalent. Have some faith. When you tell Petra, she will still accept you." Levi assured her, pulling her hands to rest on the table in front of him. He cleaned her wounds as gently as he could before bandaging them. She flinched slightly, pain radiating up her forearms. "I am sorry you experienced all of that. I tried everything I could to prevent it, but people are scared. They fear anything that is foreign to them."
"It's okay Levi. It's not like I expected you to be my knight in shining armor. I can handle some misguided fear. I just wish people wouldn't be so quick to judge, especially when I never have even come close to harming a human besides pissing Eren off by holding him in the sky." Rowan frowned, thinking back to that day at her tree. Things were simpler then.
"While I'm definitely not a knight, I am your ally and superior. I was going to do anything to defend your life, but I miscalculated. I didn't expect you to be willing to trade your life for Yeager's." He huffed, eyes dark as he finished wrapping the last bandage. He knelt next to her, slowly unwrapping her leg. It was still bleeding, the wounds reopening from the constant movement over the last few days.
"I just wanted to be completely honest. I think Eren is more valuable for the cause." She frowned, biting her lip as Levi put his hands on her waist. Her heart quickened as she met his gaze. He lifted her in one swift motion and sat her on the table. "I didn't mean to upset you though. That was never my intention…" Her words trailed off as she noticed the disappointment in Levi's gaze.
"Yes, well, I do admit that I lost my composure a bit during your speech. If Commander Erwin didn't step in..." He sighed, grabbing new bandages. He cleaned the area on her leg, scrubbing at the wound. It was deeper than Rowan thought and she flinched from the burn of the antiseptic. "You're my friend, Rowan. I wasn't going to stand by and let them meaninglessly end your life."
"You're still my friend?" That's all she really wanted at this point. Even after reflecting on what Marco told her, she still wasn't ready to express her feelings again. Her wounds from rejection were still too fresh.
"Nothing will ever change that. I hope you know that you are not replaceable to our cause and you are not replaceable to me. Please remember that." He spoke simply, bandaging her leg. She didn't know how to respond to that, so she decided against it. Rather, she smiled fondly at the man standing before her. He was focused on his task, his actions gentle against her battered skin. Once he was done, he wiped his hands off and hauled himself onto the table next to her. Rowan kicked her legs gently back and forth, eyes trained on the floor. She wasn't replaceable to him. What did that even mean? "Rowan…"
"It's really okay, Levi. We don't have to talk about what happened. I'm okay as long as you are still my friend." She clasped her hands in front of her, swinging her legs in time with her breathing, hoping to keep her breaths steady.
"But...what if I'm not okay with it?" She could see his frown from the corner of her eye and she turned her head.
"You don't want to be friends?" Well that would break her heart into pieces. She didn't think she could handle that, especially after he had just said they were friends.
"To be completely honest with you, I don't know what I want. I want you near me...all the time. I want to protect you because I need you to survive this…" He trailed off, turning to lock eyes with her. Her heart was fluttering and she couldn't even form a response, her eyes wide. "It's shameful, really. I should be focused on the fight and saving humanity. I shouldn't be distracted with making sure you're okay. It's disgraceful and selfish." He huffed and Rowan slipped her hand over to him, entwining their fingers. His gaze dropped down to study their hands.
"It is selfish. I know that, because I feel the same way about you. I want you to survive this….more than anything." She sighed, squeezing his hand. "In a way… we deserve to be selfish. We sacrificed our normal lives to fight for humanity. We put our lives on the line every damn day. I'm allowed to want you and still keep fighting for humanity. It might not work out, hell it might end tragically. I'm not naive anymore. I know the risks." She inched closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder, keeping their hands connected. "That doesn't make me want you any less."
"I don't know what I can offer you though. I've never been in this situation before." He whispered, cheek pressed against her head as he leaned into her. She smiled, her heart warm.
"This is a good start. I'm not expecting you to change who you are Levi. I like you just the way you are, with all your rough edges. Really, I'm quite happy knowing that you feel the same way. We can acknowledge that and see where it goes from here." That was the best she could come up with, not wanting to scare him away. He squeezed her hand back as a sigh escaped his lips.
"Commander Erwin wants us to take Eren out beyond the walls. He wants to prove to the bigwigs that Eren is useful for our missions as soon as possible. He wants us to leave tomorrow." Levi huffed and Rowan pulled away slightly to lock eyes with him.
"Okay, I kind of figured that was coming. What should I do to prepare? I want to make sure I pull my weight." She smiled, but his frown threw her off.
"You should stay here." His tone was flat and he untangled their fingers, dropping off the table to stand beside her.
"What? No, Levi. I want to go. Commander Erwin took responsibility for me and you just said I'm a member of your squad. I'm ready." She clenched her fists, ignoring the pain flaring up from her wrists.
"With your injuries, you would just get in the way. You won't even be able to hold your own blades with your wrists torn up like that. You can't even use your magic...not until the higher-ups forget about it. You're of no use to me out there." That last comment cut right through her.
"I'm of no use to you? But I…" Tears…those damn tears took shape in her eyes again, slipping down her cheeks. Everything he just said to her...was it just a lie to get her to accept this? Levi surprised them both when he stepped forward, fitting perfectly between her hips. He leaned in and gently wiped the tears away with his thumb.
"On this mission. Stop, you big cry baby. You're of no use to any of us on this mission while you're injured. I can't be focused on protecting you while I'm trying to keep Eren in line." He spoke softly, palm resting on her cheek.
"I can still fight. You don't need to protect me."
"The pressure from the bandage hurt you." He pointed out and she frowned.
"I'm a soldier. I can handle it." She quipped and he sighed.
"Rowan. Stay here. I'm not asking you to, I'm ordering you to, as your squad leader." Damn it. That was one downside to achieving her goal of serving on the Levi Squad. He had the final say on whether she was fit to go on a mission with them or not.
"I'm Commander Erwin's responsibility though. You have to take me with you if he's leaving on the mission with you." She refused to be treated like a child. She could still hold her own out there.
"You are injured. When a squad member is injured, they stay here to help prepare the infirmary for any wounded that may return. Stop being so stubborn. Commander Erwin has decided to remain here, so you are also required to stay here." He stepped away from her and Rowan suddenly felt colder. She wanted his body heat back near her, but didn't know how to ask for it.
"Can you answer a question then?" It is something that she had wondered about ever since they left the courtroom.
"If it gets you to just agree to staying here, then yes." He tied the bandana back around his face, his body lingering near the door.
"Why didn't you subdue me like you did with Eren? I was prepared for it and I wouldn't have held it against you. It would have been easier. Now Commander Erwin is stuck in this mess too." She glanced down and Levi sighed. He was suddenly in front of her.
"I never want to raise a fist to you like that. I don't know if I could handle you being afraid of me or handle being the source of your pain.."
"I don't understand…" She wouldn't fear him. She hadn't feared him since the day he walked her home from the bar when she was drunk off her ass. That was when she started seeing bits of who he truly was.
"I still don't fully trust Yeager but I think he's essential to our cause. We can't afford to lose this advantage so I did what I had to."
"Okay…" That's not really what she didn't understand, but she accepted it anyway. She could never fear Levi and she wished he knew that.
"You have my trust and you gave me your trust. I would never do anything to betray that." He insisted and she nodded.
"Thank-you Levi."
"Quite honestly, I also don't care that they're watching us and I had no knowledge of Erwin's plan. He made that decision on his own. We all know it's all for show anyway." He huffed, turning back to the door.
"I guess…"
"You should talk with Jean before we leave. You wanted to give him the crystal, right?"
"Yes, is he still at the main camp?" She almost forgot about the crystal. She hoped Marco was still nearby.
"He better be. It was still a disgusting mess there and they were tasked with cleaning it before they could leave for their new posts." Levi's eyes darkened and Rowan smiled. He really was adorable.
"Levi?" She had his attention. "I will miss you while you're gone. Please come back safely."
"You know I can't promise that." He turned away and Rowan sighed. He still didn't get it.
"Can you promise me that you'll try?"
"I promise you, Rowan." He whispered into her ear. She flinched, not realizing he had moved so swiftly to return to her side once again. He was level with her ear and her body was buzzing, electricity shooting through her veins. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. That's an order." With that, Levi vanished down the hallway. Once Rowan shook away her daze, she hurried up to find Jean. She had to get to him before he joined the military police, or she would never see him again. She walked as fast as she could on her injured leg, grasping the crystal tightly in her hand. She managed to get down the stairs and outside HQ as horses and soldiers came into sight. She recognized the familiar faces right away. Jean, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Ymir, Christa, Bertolt, and Reiner. They all joined the Scouts.
"Hey everyone. You all joined the Scouts?" Her eyes widened as they all dismounted from their horses.
"Well, we couldn't let you and Eren have all the fun, right guys?" Connie smirked and the others nodded, nervous smiles on their faces.
"I'm so glad you're okay! I was so worried they would find out the truth." Sasha nearly tackled her and Rowan chuckled, returning her hug as best she could while trying to keep pressure off her injured leg.
"She's still injured yah lunatic. Watch it." Connie pulled Sasha off of her and Sasha immediately apologized, eyes scanning over her body.
"How are your injuries?" Armin's concern was clear on his facial features.
"They suck, but I'll survive. I'm banned from the mission tomorrow though, so it looks like you guys will have fun without me." She sighed and Armin's eyes widened.
"They're not letting you come with us? We were told they needed everyone to venture out with Eren." Christa's hand covered her mouth and Rowan shrugged.
"Captain Levi is my squad commander now and he banned me. I'll be here, ready to help if any of you come back scraped up." She mumbled and the others frowned, shoulders slumping. His title felt a little odd on her tongue and she didn't enjoy using it.
"We were hoping we'd all go on our first mission together. Maybe we can convince the Captain?" Sasha bounced around her and Rowan shook her head.
"No, he made it very clear that I will not be going. It's okay guys. I'll be there for the next one." She assured them and that was when they all jumped to salute someone who was approaching from behind. She felt someone standing eerily close to her and she glanced over her shoulder. Speak of the devil.
"Yes, I know everyone is excited to see that Mixerton is alive and well. Go say hi to Yeager and then get your asses in the conference room. You will be divided into squads and you will have the next day and a half to memorize the plan and formation for tomorrow's mission. Get moving." He ordered and they all saluted again, some squeezing Rowan's shoulder before sprinting by. "Except you." Levi reached out and placed a hand on Jean's shoulder. "Come with me." He gestured for both Jean and Rowan to follow. Jean's eyes were wide and he was already sweating as he stole a glance at Rowan. They eventually ended up in a room behind the stables. It was full of extra supplies, but had an open space in the center. "Will this work Rowan?" She smiled at the man, grateful for the trust he had in her.
"This is perfect. Thank-you Sir." She saluted him, adding a wink when Jean wasn't looking. She knew he hated the respect and thought it was frivolous, but she had to play along in front of the others.
"Tch." He rolled his eyes before shutting the door behind him.
"What's going on Rowan?" Jean was still sweating and Rowan laughed.
"Sit. I have something for you." She gently lowered herself on the ground, stretching her injured leg in front of her. Jean listened, dropping down to the floor. "Marco. I have someone here who would love to see you." She whispered as the crystal warmed in her palm. At the mention of his name, Jean's eyes widened. Marco took shape between them, his figure hazy as always. He was facing Rowan and smiled brightly at her.
"Heya Rowan! It's good to see you. I still haven't had any luck finding your mom yet, but I promise I will keep looking!" He beamed and she smiled back.
"Thank-you Marco. Do you mind turning around?" She laughed and Marco's eyes widened before he turned.
"Jean! It's so good to see you! I've missed you like crazy. I'm so glad you're okay. You joined the Scouts! What changed your mind?" Marco spoke excitedly and Rowan's heart warmed, seeing him reunite with his best friend. Jean was a mess though, tears and snot running down his face. Rowan should have asked Levi for tissues.
"Marco? How are you here right now? I saw your body. I identified you for the nurse before we burned your corpse." He spoke through sobs, furiously rubbing his eyes.
"Well...uh…" Marco frowned, hand on his chin. "Rowan saved me. I was stuck near my body, tethered to it. Right before I could go to the afterlife, Rowan and Captain Levi found me. The Captain watched over her while she used this awesome magic spell to connect me to a crystal. She gave me a link to the plane you all exist on, so I can come back via the crystal." He beamed and Rowan was proud of his explanation. He was a smart kid.
"I...I'm so sorry Marco. It should've been me that died that day. You should still be here." Jean's fists clenched and Marco knelt in front of him. His ghostly hands brushed over Jean's fists and Jean loosened his fingers in response.
"I was able to make a difference that day. I got to save your life. All I ever wanted was to make sure you were okay and make my life mean something. I'm grateful I was able to meet you and be a part of your life." His voice was sweet and honest. Jean furiously wiped his nose and tears before he hugged Marco tightly. Rowan's eyes widened, noticing how he could actually feel Marco's physical form. That was odd.
"It's like you're actually here Marco, but you're not. I'm sorry I failed you." He cried into Marco's shoulder and if the boy was startled by the connection, he didn't show it. He just held Jean tighter.
"You didn't fail me. You gave me the best friendship I ever had. And thanks to Rowan, I can spend everyday with you and watch over you." Jean released Marco, grabbing his hand before stepping near Rowan.
"I don't know how to ever thank-you for this." He had finally shed his last tear for the moment, standing tall with Marco at his side.
"Just keep him a secret from those who don't know about me and we're even. Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, and Connie all know. I'm sure they'd love to see Marco again too." She smiled, grateful for her powers.
"Yeah, I'll make sure they can say hi. I'm assuming Captain Levi knows too?"
"He does. He found out in the forest when the Titans attacked while we were training. Hange knows too." She mused, thinking about how long ago that was. So much had changed since then.
"And you're together...aren't you?" Jean teased, his lips forming a smirk.
"Why does everyone think we are together?" Rowan spat, her cheeks flushing.
"He treats you differently than anyone else, plus you smile more when he is around." Marco shrugged and Rowan narrowed her eyes at him.
"We're not together but we're not not together either."
"What?" Jean and Marco both stared blankly at her.
"We're somewhat together, okay? We are figuring things out!" She snapped and both Jean and Marco started laughing. They laughed at her until the door flew open.
"Sorry to break up the reunion, but you're needed for the mission debrief. Get moving." Levi held the door open, eyes fixed on Jean. Marco waved, vanishing back into the afterlife. He was really getting the hang of shifting between planes.
"Coming Sir!" He shouted before turning and hugging Rowan in one swift motion. "What you did means the world to me. I hope I can pay you back one day." He whispered in her ear before turning to walk away.
"Just keep Marco safe and always in your possession. Don't let the secret out. That's how you can repay me." She placed the crystal in his hand, closing his other hand on top of it. "You can summon him whenever you want, but please don't do it in front of anyone who doesn't already know." He nodded and she released his hands. He slid the crystal in his pocket before jogging out towards the Scouts' HQ. Levi was watching Rowan closely and she met his gaze.
"Are we somewhat together? That's news to me." He scratched his chin and the flush returned to Rowan's cheeks.
"You were eaves-dropping? That's incredibly rude, you asshole! I was just trying to get them to leave me alone." She clenched her fists as she growled at him.
"Yeah, yeah. Just come here." Levi extended his hand to her and she grabbed it hesitantly. He pulled, yanking her against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him. "You've done everything you needed to for the day. Go get some rest." He whispered into her hair and she clung to him tighter. She enjoyed the feeling of his muscles against her, securing her to his body.
"Will you come see me tomorrow before you leave?" She knew it was a lot to ask. The Scouts always met as soon as the sun poked through the clouds so they could leave in the early afternoon. He'd have to get up even earlier to come see her.
"I think I can manage that." He released her, ruffling her hair with his hand before leaving the room. She watched his back as he walked away. Before he was out of sight, he glanced over his shoulder. "Try to spend some time with your friends tonight. I know how much you all care for each other." She nodded in response and he disappeared into HQ. Rowan decided she would take a nap first. She ventured up into HQ, wandering the halls until she found an open room. She noticed most rooms had names though and she wondered if one had been claimed for her already.
"You looking for your room?" Rowan turned to find Eld wandering down the hallway.
"Yeah. I wasn't sure if I had one yet or if I should grab one of the empty ones." Eld laughed at that, his forehead wrinkling.
"Oh come on now. You're up on the top floor with the rest of the squad. I'll show you where to go." With the rest of the squad? Rowan nodded, moving over so he could slip by her and guide her up another flight of stairs. He took each step slowly, waiting for her before proceeding to the next. She never realized how considerate he was. "Alright, let's see. So my room is on the end, then there's Oluo and Gunther across the way. Eren is next to Gunther and Petra is here, next to Oluo. Then you're right next to Petra's room. Now you know where to find us if you ever need anything." He gestured to each room before stopping in front of her room. "Oh and Captain Levi is right across the hall from you if you ever need him." Of course her room was right across from his. "And Commander Erwin is in between Captain Levi and squad leader Hange. Just so you know where to find them too."
"Thank-you so much Eld. I really appreciate it." She smiled sweetly at him and he nodded.
"Well, we are a team now. We have to look out for each other. Get some rest and let me know if you need anything to get settled. On the bottom floor, there's a huge storage closet. I'm sure many of your friends are there now. Feel free to grab anything you need to make yourself comfortable. I look forward to working with you Rowan." He tapped the frame of her door before walking down the hall and into his room.
"Thank-you Eld!" She shouted down the hall before opening her door. It was a small room with a large window spread across the back wall. She would definitely need to find curtains for it. The bed was pressed against the wall, silky sheets tossed over it. Her closet was barren aside from a few uniforms, two cloaks, a few pairs of boots, and her ODM gear. A desk and bookshelf were across from her bed. On the desk was the container Petra had given her along with a journal. She opened the journal and noticed a note written on the first page.
I know you said it helped to talk about it when you had that fall a while back. Whenever I'm not around and Captain Levi is running all over the place, use this journal to write about your day. I hope it helps in the same way.
-Petra
Rowan smiled, hugging the journal to her chest. She was grateful for the friendship she shared with Petra and made a mental note to thank her later today. She quickly decided that she would venture down to the storage room to see what was available before resting. She slowly maneuvered down the stairs, wandering down the hall until she found the open double doors. Eld definitely sold the place short. The storage room was huge and overflowing with items.
"Rowan! Check it out." Connie called out to her, showing off a fur coat.
"What the hell are you wearing?" She laughed, making her way over to her group of friends. Sasha was pulling out a bunch of dry food and snacks, filling a bin up with everything she could grab. Eren was looking at the boots that were scattered about, Mikasa trailing behind him.
"Some kind of fur coat. It's warm, but definitely looks ridiculous." He laughed along with her, slipping out of the coat and returning it to the shelf. "Oh, check out the books before Armin and Jean claim them all." He pointed to the back corner where Armin and Jean were chatting and stacking books. As Rowan made her way over there, she spotted a collection of curtains. She grabbed a set of navy blue ones and almost squealed when she found a soft navy blanket that matched. It was oversized and would be perfect for the bitter winter nights. She grabbed a bin and tossed the items in there before carrying them over to Jean and Armin.
"You said Marco liked history books? Like actually history or uh...satire?" Jean held various books up, his brow furrowed.
"Actual history books Jean. We both liked reading about the times before Titans walked the earth." Armin responded, piling books into a bin nearby.
"Marco would like crime novels and mysteries too. I think he would like trying to put the clues together and then guessing the ending." Rowan added and Jean glanced up with a smile.
"You're a genius Rowan. Thank-you." Jean quickly moved down towards a lower shelf, flipping through the books.
"Hey Rowan. I grabbed some books for you and Hange brought down a stack for you as well." Armin smiled, gesturing to a pile on his left.
"Thanks Armin. What is all this stuff?" She gently lowered herself to the floor and pulled the pile closer to her.
"It's a collection of things the Scouts have found in their missions along with donations from townspeople. We haven't even looked through the clothing yet or the food, though I think Sasha took most of the food that didn't go to the dining hall." He explained, flipping through the pages of an old book, clouds of dust forming above it.
"That's kind of awesome." Rowan glanced around the room, taking it all in, before looking over the books. The top few were ones about the ocean and gardening. Both were things Armin and her had discussed in great lengths in the library back when they were recruits. She wanted to follow in her mother's footsteps and have a garden one day, but she had no idea where to start. She smiled, adding those to her bin. The last few books were old and tattered, the bindings hardly holding on. They were in her foreign tongue, a nonverbal language witches used to communicate their magical teachings and scriptures. "Where'd Hange find these?" She was in awe, having not seen any books like these in years.
"Hange found them in that town that had the old library. She said you should have them." Armin shrugged and Rowan nodded, tucking them under the blanket she grabbed.
"Well thanks for passing them along. I'm going to check out the clothes and such. Are you guys free for the evening?"
"We have another meeting during dinner, but we should be free after." Jean answered since Armin had his head tucked in a book.
"Come up to my room after your meeting, okay? Let everyone know and bring Marco." She said the last part quietly and Jean nodded with a smile. She waved goodbye before wandering over to the racks of clothing. She grabbed a few shirts, some pajamas, a pair of cotton pants, a few dresses, and then a soft cardigan that reminded her of the one Petra let her borrow. It almost felt normal, like she was back in her village, digging through her closet of clothing the Elders and her mother had made. She grunted, lifting the container up. Before she left, she caught sight of a writing set and a collection of plants. She grabbed all of it, carefully placing the plants on top of everything.
"Need help?" She turned to see Eren watching her struggle with the bin. Her wrists were burning, her forearms aching.
"Yes, please. I'd be grateful." She smiled, placing the bin back on the ground.
"Got it. Lead the way." He grabbed the bin, following her down the hall and up the stairs. "Oh, your room isn't far from mine!" He glanced at the names lining the walls.
"Nope. Eld said the whole squad is up here." She responded, pushing her door open. Eren placed the bin on her bed and paused by the doorway. "Thanks for helping me. Is everything okay?" She noticed that his stare was distant and she cleared her throat. He blinked and shook his head.
"I'm worried. Your brother Thomas. Does he have magic too?"
"Uh, yeah. He just has healing magic though. He trained mostly in hand to hand combat and healing. Why?" She lowered herself on the desk chair, her leg aching.
"I know we aren't supposed to talk about the plan, but he's positioned with Armin. I just want to make sure Armin will be okay." Eren had honest worry in his eyes and Rowan smiled.
"Look, I haven't seen Thomas in years, but he was never an evil person. He has no reason to harm Armin. His goal is just to bring me home." She assured him and he nodded.
"One other thing?" He added and she nodded, waiting for him to continue. "Does Captain Levi trust me?" Ah, there it is. Rowan wanted to be honest, so she spoke plainly.
"No. He doesn't trust you because he has been fighting Titans for his entire adult life. He doesn't know what you are or what your intentions are. He sees you as a resource and he's going to protect you and try to get to know you better." She shrugged and he frowned.
"But you trust me?"
"Well, yeah. Levi doesn't control my feelings. You and I are friends, Eren. You might be a pain in the ass, but I respect your drive and determination. I respect your passion for saving humanity. I have no reason not to trust you. We both have secrets and we are both a little different. That doesn't make either one of us a monster." She truly believed that.
"You really think so?"
"I know so. I've also been in your shoes. I was put on trial too and my future was decided for me. Plus, I've seen you try to lie before and you suck at it." She mused and he puffed his cheeks out. She thought back to the time he tried to convince Armin that Connie took his last cookie. He was fighting off a smile the whole time and his voice was squeaky. That was just over a cookie, not a huge secret like being a Titan.
"Yeah...yeah I do." He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Don't do anything to betray my trust though. I'll kick your ass and leave you floating in the sky for hours until Levi can kick your ass some more." She pointed her finger at him and he nodded.
"You got it Rowan. I'll see you tonight." He smiled before disappearing down the hallway. Rowan smiled, standing to dig through the bin. She worked slowly, putting the curtains up. She hung her newly acquired clothing up and placed the books on the shelf. She placed the plants on the window sill, the desk, and the bookshelf before placing the writing set in the desk drawer with the journal and container of medicine. She unfolded the blanket and kicked the bin under the bed. She swiftly changed into the pajama set she grabbed and wrapped herself in the silk sheets and blankets, drifting off.
"Rowan." A soft voice touched her consciousness and she readjusted her position, curling into a ball. "Get up sleepy head." She groaned, digging her head into her pillow. "I will get the water again." That got her up. She sat up, straining her eyes in the dark to see Levi standing over her. He placed the candle he was holding on the desk and grabbed the mugs that were behind him. He handed her a mug and she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes before grabbing it.
"What time is it?" She mumbled, sniffing at the mug he gave her. Black tea and honey, like always. She smiled into the mug and sipped it.
"Early." Levi yawned, sipping his own tea. He was dressed in his uniform, dark green cloak on his shoulders. His ODM gear was placed by the door, ready to go.
"My friends were supposed to come over last night. I slept through it?" She frowned. She was really looking forward to spending the evening with them.
"Jean and Marco were here first. When you didn't answer, they decided to grace me with their presence. I entertained them for the evening, don't worry." He sighed, sipping his tea.
"You did?" That shocked her and she stared him down.
"No. Connie found a bottle of liquor in the storage room and they entertained themselves down there all evening. They'll probably regret that decision today." He huffed.
"One bottle between all of them? They'll be fine. They can handle more than a few shots each. I'm sorry I missed it though. I feel bad." She frowned and he placed a hand on her knee through the blankets.
"They all understood. You can have many nights like that with them when they return." Levi assured her and she nodded.
"You don't have to stand there. My blankets are clean, you know." She gestured to the space beside her and scooted over so her shoulder touched the wall. Levi sat next to her, their shoulders brushing.
"Why do you have so much dirt everywhere? Your room is filthy." His nose crinkled as his eyes scanned over the floor and desk.
"It's from the plants I got from the storage room. I'll make sure the room is sparkling before you get back. Don't worry." She laughed, hitting her shoulder against his.
"It better be. No one should live like this." He mumbled and she scoffed.
"You really are a clean freak." She mused and he fixed a glare on her. "Glare all you want. You don't scare me anymore." She stuck her tongue out and he snatched it, pulling it further out.
"I will rip your tongue out." He grumbled.
"Sure you will. You'd miss talking to me too much." She mumbled, hoping he understood what she said. He released her tongue and it was his turn to scoff.
"Now that is a good joke." He leaned his back against the wall, returning his attention to his tea.
"Hey Levi?" He hummed in acknowledgment. "This is just a simple mission, right? It's just a practice run with Eren and all of us newbies?"
"Going out beyond the walls...it's never just a practice run. I can't guarantee anyone's safe return...you know this." He placed his tea on the windowsill and turned towards her. The sun had just begun to poke its way through the clouds and Rowan wished they had more time together.
"I'm just really worried about all of you. I don't want to lose anyone else. This time I won't be there to connect anyone's spirit to a crystal like I did with Marco. I won't be able to save them." She whispered and he used his finger to gently lift Rowan's chin.
"We are all soldiers. We know that loss and grief sit in our future, waiting for us. All I can do is promise you that I will fight. I will fight until my last breath to make it back here if I have to." It was a promise and she nodded. "I should get going though. I have to go round up your friends." He huffed, letting her chin drop and pushing himself to his feet. He grabbed his ODM gear, securing it back on his body. Rowan kicked all her blankets off and stood, waiting for him to finish. He glanced up at her and she raised her arms. The corners of his lips turned up in a slight smile and he grabbed her hand, pulling her close to him. He held her against him, wrapping one arm around her waist and tangling the other hand in her hair.
"Be safe. I'll be waiting here when you get back." She smiled as he released her.
"Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." He whispered before leaning in and gently touching his lips to her forehead. With that, he vanished down the dark hallway.
"Aye Sir." She whispered, slipping back into her room and shutting the door.