Chapter 26- The Way It Feels

He was stupid and he knew it. He made a bigger deal out of this whole thing then he should have, and deep down inside, Nick truly knew she'd have to go home and leave eventually. He just didn't think it would be today.

After he left the lab he drove for a few minutes and came to a near by bar, it was one that reminded him of home, Texas. With ranch music his mother used to play and colors that were as warm as Vegas on a hot day. His home away from home near his home, he'd call it. He spent the few hours he had there some days like this, he had just enough alcohol to be under the limit, so he could drive home.

Opening his door, Nick pocketed his keys and walked by the table, where Alyssa's apology currently sat. He walked down the hallway, to his room but stopped at the guest bedroom. He pushed the door open just enough to see inside and his heart sank. It was empty. He gave an angry sigh and walked back into the main room and into the kitchen, pulling out the pack of 6 he and Alyssa had bought on their shopping trip and popped one bottle open.

Alyssa closed the door behind her, bringing in the last of her stuff. Her apartment was small but warm and had just enough space to accommodate her and her pet.

Hamlet.

Alyssa started to panic, "Where is my dog?"
Suddenly there was a knock at the door, making the brunette jump out of her skin. Quickly she scrambled to open it and was faced with a smiling Greg.

"Greg Hey, have you se-" She looked down as she felt something cold on her toes, and gave a sigh of relief.

"You're neighbor had called the crime lab and Grissom had told me to take car of it, he didn't tell you?"

"Apparently not," She bent down to be eye level with her furry friend.

"Hey baby, did Greg take good care of you?" She smirked up at Greg.

"Wanna come in, I owe you for taking care of the mutt." She smiled as he passed her the leash.

"No you don't, it was no problem, really,"

"Well at least come in for a bit and have a drink or something." She said opening the door wider as Greg stepped in.

Alyssa closed the door behind her friend and watched as her baby golden retriever jumped on the couch.

"He's a great dog." Greg smiled as he followed Alyssa into her kitchen.

"Yea when I first got him, I stuck him in obedience school, he's only 5 months old, but it worked." She said reaching into the fridge and grabbing Greg a beer and coke for her self.

"How did you know I was coming home?" Alyssa turned and leaned on the counter.

"Sara, I called to see if she was ok and she told me you had just dropped her off after grabbing your stuff from Nick's, I'm guessing you feel better."

"Yea, much," She smiled.

"He took good care of ya I guess."

Alyssa nodded and offered a smile.

"Are you working tonight?" Greg asked.

"Uh, no I'm back tomorrow, well in the field."

"You must be happy." Greg said taking a swig from his bottle.

"Very, I hate sitting around, doing noth-" the sound of a cell phone ringer filled her room.

"That's me." Greg said pulling his phone from his pocket. "Lab results are in." He looked up and smiled.

"Go then!" She said pulling his beer from his hand and shooing him out.

"Thanks I'll se you tomorrow?" He said reaching the door and opening it.

"Yea, definitely,"

He leaned in a pecked his friend's cheek. "Later." He said walking out but bumped into something hard making him stumble backwards.

Alyssa had just about closed the door as it was pushed open, causing her to turn and see Greg re-enter.

And Nick.

Greg Stood up straight and caught site of the man he stepped into.

"Oh hey man, sorry." He apologized and turned back to Alyssa. "Guess you got another visitor." But he was not granted with a smile.

"Yea," She breathed. "Go on Greg. DNA is waiting." She said and waved as he trotted off.

"Later Nicky," Greg called behind him and got onto the elevator, leaving the two in her apartment doorway.

"Hey." She turned and walked further into her apartment, giving Nick the silent invitation, which he took.

She heard the door slam behind her and she turned abruptly. "Careful." She scolded but stopped once she caught a glimpse of his red face.

"Nick you alright?"

"What was he doing here?"

"Dropping off my dog…" She said slightly confused.

"You don't have a dog."

"Yes… I do." She said quietly. "Hamlet," She called her companion.

The pair heard little patters from the hard wood floor as Hamlet approached his owner. Bending down Alyssa scooped up her puppy.

"This is Hamlet." She smiled and kissed her dog on the top of his head. "Of course in a few more months He'll be too big for me… Nick, is everything ok?" She noticed as his face contorted with anger.

Slowly she let her puppy down gently and instructed him to sit on the couch, as she approached Nick slowly, but a smell caught her attention and made her stop a few meters away form him.

"Nick, you were drinking." She cocked her head to the side.

"So were you." He nodded to the beer on the counter.

Alyssa grew slightly angry, "That's Greg's, and I drank a coke." She pointed to the cola near the bottle. "I don't drink beer you know that."

"Do I?"

"What!" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"He kissed your cheeck."

"Yes." She straightened. "How much did you drink?"

"I'm not drunk."

"Nick, I didn't say you were." She backed up as he stepped forward.

The phone vibrated against her pocket as Nick took another step forward. Answering it, she kept her gaze on Nick.

"Yea?"

"It's Warrick. Is Nick there?"

"Uh yea…"

"Alright, he called me and sounded odd. Stay there, I'll be right up." And with that Warrick hung up.

Alyssa clicked her phone off and looked at Nick. "Why?" She asked softly. Her emotions were building in her stomach. "Why the hell would you EVEN consider drinking that much THEN driving here?" She spoke loudly and angry. She had given a piece of herself to him and the note she left him and here he was drunk as a skunk.

The door pushed opened behind Nick as Alyssa looked past and spotted Warrick and a familiar blonde behind him. Nick turned to his friend behind him and grunted. "Look who else showed up, another man." He turned to Alyssa who in turn, immediately told him to shut up.

"C'mon, Nick. Lets go." Warrick approached Nick as Catherine walked over and stood by the brunette's side.

"You ok?" She asked softly.

"Yea, peachy," Alyssa turned her back to Nick and began to walk away.

"Because, I love you," Alyssa stopped dead in her tracks and spun on her heels.

Alyssa shook her head, tears building in her eyes, "No you don't Nick. You can barely process a coherent thought, let alone tell me how you feel. You don't love me. You love the idea of me. The idea that some one like me, would need to rely on you forever. I'm not that person Nick, You'll regret what you said when you're sober, don't say things you don't mean, you'll hurt somebody." It's me that loves you…Nick…

She turned and stalked off to her bed room closing the door behind her, leaving Warrick to take Nick home and Catherine standing alone in the brunette's apartment.

Alyssa heard the door close as she let the tears run down her face as she took a seat on the edge of her bed. Looking up she caught a glimpse of her self in the mirror. This was the first time she let herself cry since she found her father dead, since she had promised her self she wouldn't let anybody get to her. She heard her door creek open and saw Catherine's face poke in.

"Hey." Catherine whispered and stepped in the dark room.

Alyssa sighed and looked up at the ceiling, giving a sarcastic laugh. "Hi."

Walking in Catherine took a seat next to the brunette, "You've really had a tough time of it." She sighed.

Alyssa nodded and shrugged. "The obstacles of life," She turned her head and faced Catherine. "My mantra," She explained giving a forced smirk.

"He really does care about you."

"No, I know," She nodded in agreement. "But… he was drunk, and I left him a small note explaining everything…And he still acted like that."

"What did is say?" Catherine asked and was answered with an embarrassed, laugh. "Oh,"

"Yea," Alyssa clicked her tongue as her phone rang.

She looked at the screen and opened the message.

"Who is it?" Catherine asked her softly.

"Nick fell ill. Grissom wants me in to start today." She said answering the message and placing it next to her on the mattress.

Catherine nodded, "Need a ride?" she offered.

"Thanks, yea." Alyssa said standing and walking to the bathroom. "Give me a few minutes."

TBC...

THANK YOU to everyone who responded! I hope this chapter and the next are worth your time spent. I would have had them posted earlier but the site wasn't letting me upload... but here it is!