This Time Imperfect

Chapter One: Sunday

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It began as a beautiful dream.

My life that is.

Like an innocent children's tale with love surrounding every person and hope for the future wasn't just a passing glance. Sure my mother had left me, but I knew that she loved me and watched over me even in death.

I had my best friend, Tomoyo, and I had my family.

Then I found out about the Clow cards and soon enough I had Kero and Yue who would die to protect me. I also had Syaoran Li. I love him more than anyone else. I thought I loved Yukito, but that was false.

The days were warm and full of life back then.

School exams were the only worries that I truly had, especially since the Clow cards were reborn into Sakura cards, their magic holding under my very own star.

Then, as one faze enters another, my brother had a party well my father was away.

He told me to stay in my room and do homework, and being the child I was, I blubbered but obeyed after he promised that he would buy me and Kero ice cream the next day.

I had even been a good little girl and told Kero to go to sleep inside the book till I woke him up just in case someone came in on accident. I had put the book away in my desk and grabbed the phone.

Tomoyo and I had a brief conversation… But then it happened.

And I was only fourteen…

:I didn't hear him come into my room…:

That is such a young and tender age. You trust anyone and everyone and have faith in people. Now that I think about it, I was so dumb. But with ignorance is bliss… With innocence is faith…

:Walking towards my bed with drunken lust in his pale gray eyes…:

I had just had my first kiss with Syaoran three weeks before. He had tasted like popcorn because we were at a film, but I remember how warm I felt. My cheeks must had been as red as his because he put his hand on my cheek and when we turned back to the movie we were watching I felt like I could have never been happier. Tomoyo and I had giggled about it well watching an old western movie. I had told her that I was going to stay pure for him…

:His hands were clammy as they forced my mouth shut. My eyes dashed in fear. I saw my alarm clock flash 2:17. Tears welded in my eyes and he began to force his hands all around me.

I remember that my body burned as he entered me and that I had cried out only to get slapped. He must have had a ring on or something because that slap hurt a lot.

I murmured for him to stop as he started pumping… Thoughts crazed through my head as if I was the one who was dead drunk. Images of Tomoyo and Syaoran and Touya telling me to behave made me want to throw up.

I could see my father as he left to his trip to Europe telling us to 'be good.' I remember he had a picture of mother in his hands. As this unknown person plunged deeper and deeper into me, as though he was touching my stomach on the inside, it didn't occur to me to call to Kero for help.:

It was all a dream before that night…

I wish that it had never ended.

I didn't stay pure for Syaoran. I didn't stay innocent. All most innocent… I had betrayed him so badly and all's I could think about was his warm amber eyes.

: After he left me lying on my bed, I cried.:

I could see the wind running through his brown hair and his sweet laugh. I could feel his arms around my body and smell his cologne.

: I cried for so long that I eventually cried myself to sleep.:

I now wish that I had never woken up from that uneasy slumber.

: Syaoran turned around and smiled at me again. He waved and held out his hand towards me.


"Sakura-Chan!" :

But I did.