This Time Imperfect
Chapter Five: Thursday
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His hands are touching me again.
They feel cold, clammy, and I toss and turn to make him free me of this cage of torment. I feel myself screaming, "NO!" but know I am not making a noise.
As his lips come crashing onto mine, my eyes flash open.
It takes me a few moments to figure out that I am in Tomoyo's room. The Sakura book is sitting on the nightstand and the older clock is ticking quietly.
I lift my hand up and wipe the sweat off. I am panting, but soon my breathing becomes normal and I crawl out of the warm bed. I walk to the large window next to the bed and stare out at the stars.
The stars are so beautiful, but so far away.
They burn bright, but you never know if they have already been disappeared for thousands of years. That's how long it takes for the light to reach you.
Out of the corner of my eyes I see a light, and look down. I see two figures, one walking towards the front door and one standing on the porch steps.
Wondering who could be visiting at 1:02 AM, I turn to my door and step into my slippers. Opening my door quietly, I pad my way down the hallway. By the time I get to the stairs, I hear voices.
"I'm just so worried about her," Tomoyo's soft voice calls out. "She's really not acting herself.
Then I see brown hair. It's Syaoran. What is he doing here?
"I know. Today when we were walking to school she actually called me Li-kun like we were kids again. She told me not to feel sorry for her." He told her and I felt a pang of anguish at the tone of his voice. It was so sad, his mellow words tinged with the simple pain that he didn't understand what was going on.
Sighing, I place my hands on the wall and wonder if I should call down to them.
The thought passes me but doesn't go anywhere as Tomoyo puts her arms around his torso. He places his arms around her shoulders and the small feeling of anguish distorts to anger. I feel myself shaking.
After a couple moments of my whole body contorting in pain, I come to the insane conclusion that Syaoran is cheating on me. But why? I thought he loved me… I love him so much… How could Tomoyo do this to me! Before my pained breaths become louder, I turn and practically run to the room, my eyes already cloudy with tears.
When I get there I suddenly feel as though this place is a cage. A cage of lies and untold truths. I rush over to my window and throw it open; taking the screen out like Tomoyo did when we would sneak out back in elementary school. Back then we would go on her roof but now I am flying out to escape.
I find myself on the window edge of the second floor. About four feet below me is a ledge so I pull myself down.
The freezing air nips at my bare skin. I am only wearing the light pink tank and sweats that Tomoyo let me borrow. I look down at the ground and feel myself jump before I let worry take over me.
My knee hit the ground hard but I flew up and ran to past the security guard. I knew the security guard, Eizo Kondo, since my younger days. He knew that I liked to take walks to clear my mind so he let me fly past him without even stopping.
I feel my legs going; I'm running, running forever.
It never occurs to me why I'm running; all's I think about is Syaoran. Am I stupid to not see that he was cheating on me? He would never cheat on me… He loves me, doesn't he?
He has to…
My mind tells me that I'm not worth his love. I'm now an impure slut. I figure that maybe I should just sit back and let Tomoyo and Syaoran have each other! They both deserve to be happy… But when the final day rolls around, I wonder if I could just let him go like that, Syaoran walking away hand in hand with Tomoyo.
My lungs start to burn. My chest hurts a lot but I ignore it.
All I can think is that I love him. I love him so much!
: His hands are all over me.
Dirty…
Dirty…
Dirty…!:
By the time I am brought out of my painful memories I am running through woods, wind and branches pricking my flesh. It stings horribly, but it's nothing compared to the pain in my heart.
I finally reach soft sand and find it hard to run.
My ankle snaps and I fall, barely having enough time to put my hands over my face. I hear the sound of waves and realize that I'm on the beach about three miles away from Tomoyo's mansion.
The sand is really cold…
My ears are ringing…
Again I know that I'm almost innocent.
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I know, I know.
Syaoran cheating on her is an insane conclusion to come to after she just sees them hug but still, Sakura is in a very fragile at this point and her heart is just waiting for more hardships to come.
Please review though!
Skyo: Here are the updates you wanted!
Lady Akina: I know she should tell them, but she is really afraid of what they might think. Sakura has never experienced something like rape before so now she doesn't know what to do… She is angry, but she is starting to think that she deserves it… Thank you for your review!
Czee: Yep, this is basically the week after the horrid experience! I hope you like the plot turns I have!
Tanwen-Whitefire: The reason I have a prevailing theme of rape in my stories is because stories turn out better if you relate them to personal experiences. If you just guess on things they are horrible. Some of the flashbacks are actually my memories or memories my friends have. I also love writing darker things, because I'm more of a regionalist writer. Thank your for the great review!
Fiona-Angel: I'm glad you like this story too! I wanted to write something besides Inuyasha for a change!