Uninspired Voyages

A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Para creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.

Lieutenant Susan Nicoletti was working on one of the replicators in the mess hall, her hands deep in the guts of the device. She sorted through the isolinear chips and the power couplings, sighing as she tried to find the one that was giving the device trouble.

One of the Ocampan children poked their adorable head in over her shoulder, looking curious. He pointed at one of the buttons.

"Ooh... What's that button do?" He asked.

"Many things. Don't touch it," Nicole stated coolly. "You should really go play somewhere else."

"That's shiny!" The child said cheerfully, pointing at a cluster of fiberoptic cables. "What does that do?"

"Don't touch that," Nicole said, as politely as she could manage.

"Ooh! What's that do?" The child asked eagerly. Nicole sighed, and looked pleadingly at the nearest officer. It was Security Chief Shepherd, who had been corralling the alien children around a few tables covered in toys, crayons and construction paper. The security chief gave the little one a smile, and carefully guided him away.

"Come on Sori, you should go play with your brother," Shepherd said encouragingly, giving him a little shove. The child stumbled over and giggled as he headed back to the table. Nicole nodded and sighed.

"Thank you sir," she said. "Now then, I'll get back to work."

Shepherd nodded. He then leaned over, and pointed at one of the buttons.

"Ooh, what's that?"

Nicole blinked in confusion.

"Sir," she stated, "please don't-"

"Ooh, that's shiny!" Shepherd said with a grin, tilting his head back the other way. Nicole closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Sir, with respect, don't you have something better to do?" Nicole asked politely.

"Not really," Shepherd admitted with a shrug. "I'm on break."

"And annoying me is your idea of fun, sir?" Nicole asked.

"Just a bit," Shepherd admitted. He leaned over and put an isolinear chip into the replicator. "And... Done!"

The replicator turned on, fully operational. Nicole blinked and looked up at the security chief in annoyance.

"Did you seriously break the replicator just so I'd come down here and fix it? Why?" She asked. Shepherd shrugged.

"Papertrail," he said. "Computer, whiskey. Neat."

A tumbler of whiskey appeared, and Shepherd took it. He then sipped the glass, and sighed happily.

"Mm, that's the stuff," he murmured. Nicole blinked in disbelief.

"But it makes synthehol already!"

Shepherd held the tumbler out.

"This isn't synthehol," he said. Nicole took it, a dubious expression on her face. She then sipped it... And blinked.

"Wait... This is the real stuff?" She asked. Shepherd nodded.

"Yup! Along with a few other options," he said. He tapped the panel on the replicator. A bowl of green gummies appeared. Shepherd took the bowl and popped one into his mouth.

"Mmm... Edibles! Oh that's the good stuff," he said happily.

"Edible... Marijuana?!" Nicole whispered. "You mean the replicators can make marijuana?!"

"Starfleet Intelligence replicator special," he said. "And I don't know about you, but I'm not spending the next 70s years on this tub sober." He smiled at her. "Unless you want to blow me in?"

Nicole stared at him. She then grabbed a whole handful of gummies, and shoved them into her mouth.

"You're just lucky I'm going off duty now," she muttered.

Shepherd nodded with a smile.

"Enjoy responsibly!"

It would explain a lot...