This Time Imperfect
Chapter Seven: Saturday
XxX
When I wake up I don't feel much.
My body just feels like a dull throb of nothing. In the distance I hear a soft beeping noise which tells me that I must be in a hospital.
Everything is white, but flawed, just like in my daydream.
I slowly regain the feeling. It feels like someone is pinching my flesh hard and jabbing needles into my feet. I ignore the pain though and look around.
It takes me a few moments to realize that there is someone sitting in a chair next to me. It takes me even longer to know that it's my father… I don't think I have ever seen him look so old before. Like he had just died…
"Dad?" I whisper, finding myself almost choking on that small word. My whole body feels really tight and constricted. As if the Shadow Card had swallowed me up or something.
I see his eyes open and he watches me cough for a moment, wondering if I truly called out to him. Once my coughing fit dies down and I lay back once more, he stands up looking like someone has just saved his life.
"Why'ma I'ere?" I try to ask, but my voice comes out horribly blurred as if I'm one of those drunken teenagers at Touya's party.
He looks at me confused for a second, "Don't you know?"
I shake my head not trusting my words. "Yue found you on the beach. They said they found your aura sometime early this morning. For a while though… we couldn't even feel your presence at all." He said, very gravely.
I look off and once again regain memory of what has happened. The last week goes off in a blur like pages of an old book I read in my primary school years.
"I thought Erio'ave you 'ose powers su'ou could'ense me." I stuttered, referring to when Eriol split half of his powers with my dad. For some reason though my slurred words angered my dad though.
He stormed out of the chair he had just sat back down in and his eyes were blazing. I found that I didn't care as much as I should have though; I was feeling rather lazy of the situation.
"Sakura! We thought you were dead! How could you do that to us!" He cried, his hands waving. I heard commotion outside the door and Yukito's voice was ringing; "Hey, I think Sakura is awake!"
I looked away from my father. "Did 'ey say any'ing else?" I asked.
"Who?"
"Kero… Yue…" I responded, still looking away. What if they told him already? What if Syaoran already knew about me not being faithful to him? I felt myself starting to breath heavy and the steady beep on the machine got faster. I started to try and sit up.
My father looked worried so he quickly pushed me back onto my pillow. "No, they didn't say anything else." He told me quietly.
I obeyed him and fell back, the pillows engulfing my whole body. I felt really warm again, as if I was back in my dream. I don't know why but knowing that no one knew yet was so comforting. I felt my eyes get really heavy again and would have fallen asleep but the door opened and Tomoyo, Yukito, and Syaoran walked in.
They all looked so worried, but Syaoran's face still echoes in my mind. His eyes rang dark and his eyebrows were together in worry. Tomoyo's eyes looked red like she had been crying.
When did they start caring about me so much?
I gave them a soft smile but Touya walked in. He looked like he hadn't slept in days… He walked over to me, grabbed my hand, and let his hair run over his face so I couldn't see his eyes. His hands were trembling.
"Touya?" I asked, softly.
"I know Sakura." He said, and I felt my eyes widen. I knew just what he was talking about. I felt fear rise up in me. Would he tell everyone? No, NO! He couldn't.
I pulled my hand away from his and turned my back to him. I know I shouldn't punish him but he CAN'T tell them. Never! That would be forcing them to pity me.
"How?" I asked, right now really only capable of one word sentences. I was scared… really scared. Yukito was over to my left and Syaoran was at the end of my bed well Tomoyo stood next to my father.
I knew they were all wondering what Touya was talking about.
"I found out from a friend."
Yukito looked down at me and could tell I was about to cry. He forced a smile; "It was a person we had never know."
Fujitaka stepped up next to Tomoyo. "What are you guys talking about?" He asked, looking really angry.
"Sakura, well, Sakura was-" Touya started, only to be cut off by Yukito. He held up his hand.
"I think that's not your thing to tell." Yukito said, looking down at me. This surprised me a bit. How could Yukito know I was so afraid of them knowing? I would later find out it was because of the look on my face. He told me that I had looked petrified.
Sitting up again, I suddenly felt really tired again. Well, not exactly tired, more or less woozy. Like everything was spinning back and forth. Looking up at Syaoran, he was at my side in an instant, only that's not where I wanted him to be.
I didn't want to tell them… But, I had too.
I'm not really a person who keeps their feelings bottled up inside. I can't help but tell others. I was scared shitless, wondering if Syaoran would reject me for Tomoyo, if my Dad would disown me or something… But when I thought about how scared I was, I remembered how worried they were.
Maybe they could help this. Just… Maybe.
So I decided to tell them. I took a deep breath and tried to ignore my heart telling me not too. I looked straight at my knees for a good minute, before confessing loud enough for everyone to hear…
"I was raped."
XxX
3 Months Later
Sitting up in bed I smiled at Syaoran.
We were sitting on my bed, and we had been playing that racing car game of Kero's. It had started out innocent enough, just him saying that he could beat me at any video game, now it was an all-out winner-takes-all championship.
He leaned forward and bit his lip, I giggled. I pressed the X button on my controller that sped my car up. He growled softly, and the finish line was in site. "I'll get you!" I yelled at him, throwing my car to the left and making him swerve off course.
I screamed out, "Victory!" as my blue car passed the finish line. Syaoran put his hands over his eyes and cried out a little no, flopping back onto my bed.
Tomoyo walked into the room with three glasses of tea, smiling the whole time. "I take it you won, Sakura-Chan?" She asked. I giggled and gave thumbs up.
Syaoran threw me a mock glare, "I totally let you win." He told me, and I threw my arms to his sides, making him squirm. "As if!" I shouted, tickling him a little harder. Just his luck that Syaoran happened to be one of the most ticklish people I knew.
Tomoyo and I were the only two people to know that. Tomoyo and I started laughing until Kero's voice screamed loudly, "I'm trying to sleep!"
I laughed and looked over at the clock. 2:17PM.
Looking at Tomoyo I smiled, but I felt the joy in me die down a little. 'Mellow out, Sakura…' I told myself.
I can't believe it's already been 3 months.
After I told everyone about what happened, life got a little easier to bear. Touya was still really very guilty about it, and because he blamed himself my father never grounded him. I found that Syaoran didn't reject me, but let me cry in his arms.
He never got tired of holding me, watching me blubber and cry. Tomoyo had also been so supportive, and when Yukito and Touya found out who raped me, a man named Naraku Motagawa, they both (with Syaoran) has almost killed him.
"Sakura-Chan?"
Syaoran's voice interrupted my thoughts. He was now standing in front of me, holding his hand out to me. "We promised Rika and Naoko that we go to the movie, ne?"
I smiled and took his hand, letting him pull me up.
It was a beautiful day… the sun was warm, and the trees were beautiful again. Looking at my friends, I couldn't help but feel happy. I wasn't alone.
I know that I could never forget what happened, and that I could never forgive Naraku for doing that to me, but I could move on. I reached over and grabbed Syaoran's hand, smiling up at him.
He leaned over and kissed my cheek.
Life was a dream again, but this time, I wouldn't have to worry about waking up from it. This time, I didn't have to worry about being imperfect to pure. This time, I could be myself.
Time is short, but I will live what time I have to the fullest I swear…
That's all that really matters.
END