Lily and James sat together, sipping their hot chocolate and gazing wistfully into space, listening to the sounds which invaded their companionable silence: the rustle of trees in the Forbidden Forest, the lapping of the lake against the shore, and the slow, steady sound of each other's breathing. Lily felt herself warming up and her sense of guilt and sadness ebbing away from the combined comforts of hot chocolate, stargazing, and James' company.

She sighed and contemplated the day's events. How lucky was she now to be sitting here drinking delicious hot chocolate with someone she cared about, someone that cared about her. The object of her thoughts turned to her with a serious expression and spoke.

"So, Lily," she cocked her head at him in reply, "Wanna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Lily asked, her heart sinking. She didn't want to have to talk about it. Not now, while she was so content.

James looked at her with his big brown eyes. "About why you're so upset all the time."

Lily brushed it off, trying not to succumb to those deep pools of…no, stop it Lily. "I'm not upset all the time, you just have bad timing."

James raised his eyebrows. "You and I both know that's a lie, Lil. Now are you going to tell me of your own free will, or do I have to physically force it out of you."

Lily thought. Pleasurable as it might be to have James physically force it out of her, or in to her, more to the point…stop it Lily! If she hadn't known better, she would have thought James told the House Elves to but something in her drink. "Do I have a choice?"

"Nope." James said with his trademark cheeky grin.

"Okay then, we can talk." Lily said, but she didn't sound happy. Her voice was quiet, and James detected a slight tremor in it. As he watched her, Lily shivered.

"Cold?"

"No" Lily lied.

"Yes you are, I just saw you shiver."

Lily smiled at him. "Don't miss a trick, do you?"

"Nope" James said proudly.

"Fine, yes I'm cold but I don't want to go inside."

"I wasn't going to suggest that. I like it out here."

"Me too." Lily said quietly. There were so many things about James she didn't know. So many things she wanted to find out.

"Accio blankets!"

Back in the dorm, Remus, the only fifth-year boy still awake, opened the window to let out the blankets throwing themselvesrepeatedly against it. He smiled a knowing smile as he watched them disappear into the darkness.

"Clever."

"Aren't I just?" James batted his eyes at Lily, who laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, I don't know. Just…just you." Just then, the blankets came soaring over the low wall they were sitting against and landed on top of them. Laughing, James wrapped a blanket around Lily's shoulders and one round his own. The last blanket he tucked over his and Lily's knees, then put his arm around her, pulling her in to his chest.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lily asked playfully.

James shrugged and grinned. "Keeping you warm like and gentleman would."

"Isn't that the blankets' job?"

James didn't answer, and Lily smiled to herself.

"So, now that we're comfortable, are you going to tell me what's up?"

"Nope, not comfy."

"Hm, you're picky. Alright, what's gonna make you comfy?"

"Stay put." James raised his eyebrows but didn't move. Lily put down her empty hot chocolate mug and shuffled forwards, sideways, then backwards so that she was sitting between James' outstretched legs and her head leant against his chest. She grinned, imagining his expression.

"Better?" James asked, cuddling her around the waist. His chin rested on the top of her head.

"I am now."

"Right, in that case, tell me what's up. And I've got you now. I'm not letting go until you tell me everything."

Lily contemplated keeping her mouth firmly shut, but didn't. "Well I'll start with the bit you know most about – Sirius." James didn't say anything, so Lily talked. She told James about the way she had felt about Sirius at the start, and her confusion when he ignored her owls over the summer. She told James about the night she and Sirius had had sex, and her feelings of worthlessness. Strangely, she didn't find any of this embarrassing. James just sat and listened, one of his hands now playing with a strand of her hair. She continued to tell James about all the times she had tried and failed to communicate her feelings to Sirius, and the way he didn't seem to care about anything the thought, anything she said or did any more. She told James about Sirius' paranoia, and her fear of his jealousy, her feelings of being trapped. Only when Lily had finished talking did James speak.

"I think I should tell you a few things too, Lily." He removed his hand from her hair, and Lily knew without looking that he would be ruffling his own dark mop, as he always did when he was nervous, anxious or uncomfortable. It seemed to build his confidence. Lily nodded and let him talk now. "Firstly, your owl. It wasn't an accident that she got injured. It was – we think it was – Sirius' mother who did it."

"His mother? But why would she want to hurt Juliet?"

"Just let me finish."

"Sorry." Lily blushed. James had let her speak without interruption, and here she was not letting him get a word in edgeways.

"It's okay. She's your owl. You're allowed to be concerned. Anyway, I kinda gathered you ran into Bellatrix at the ball." Lily nodded, deliberately staying silent. "Well, like she said, she and Sirius are related. Sirius' family is one big pile of pureblood Dark Arts. Sirius and his cousin Andromeda are the only non-Death-Eater-candidates of this generation. They are both regarded by the Blacks, and therefore by many other purebloods, as traitors. The Blacks hate muggle-borns, and when Sirius' mother found out he was dating you, she went ballistic. He was locked up in his room and she intercepted all his owls." Lily covered her mouth. She had made things worse, as usual. "Sirius eventually managed to escape by tying up his House Elf and sneaking out when he came to bring Sirius food. He came to my house. Anyway, his mother was so angry that when your next owl came, she just attacked Juliet. My mum tried talking sense into the woman, but failed. Mrs Black sometimes listens to my parents, as they're purebloods too, but this time Sirius is done for. If he sets foot in that house alone she'll probably kill him, and I'm not joking."

Lily felt a lump in her throat and swallowed hard. Maybe she had been too hard on Sirius after all.

"That's why he's so protective over the people close to him – he doesn't want to lose the rest of the people he loves. I'm not saying he was right to be so paranoid, Lily, but I hope you can see where he was coming from." Lily nodded again, fresh tears welling up even though she thought she had no more left to cry. "I think you did the right thing though, Lils, and I need you to know that. You needed to end it with Sirius, you couldn't carry on pretending. No matter what anyone else thinks, no matter what Sirius thinks, I know you did the right thing."

James was quiet then, and buried his face in her hair, his arms around Lily's waist again, holding her tight. He was so confused. He shouldn't be here doing this, not with Lily. It felt so perfect, and yet James knew they were only meant to be friends. Not able to handle his thoughts, James said "What else happened tonight? What made Sirius so mad?"

So Lily told James about Matthew Kiedis and what she'd felt with him, how free she'd felt. How that was what she wanted, someone who could make her smile and laugh, but hold her tight like she was the only girl in the world.

James didn't know, though, that he and Lily were thinking of two different men.

And Lily wasn't going to tell him.

James knew, then, that he had been right. Lily didn't feel anything beyond friendship for him, or she wouldn't be telling him about another man. He knew then that this was how they were meant to be, he and Lily, and this was how they would always stay. Totally comfortable in each other's presence, relishing being in each other's arms, but not as lovers. Never as lovers.

Lily knew, as she sat in James' arms, that this was how she wanted to be and how she wanted to stay. They were perfect together, and she knew James could feel it too. He wouldn't be here with her, holding her like this, if he didn't want to be anything more than friends. And she knew she wouldn't stop feeling this way about James for a very long time.

Lily and James sat talking until the sun began to glimmer on the horizon. They talked about their parents: how Lily's had been Oxford graduates and expected the very best from her, no matter what. How she always fell short of their expectations, how Lily felt so inadequate. How James' parents were high-flyers at the Ministry and expected him to do the same, but all he wanted to do with his life at the moment was have fun.

At ten o'clock that morning, when the sun was fully risen, a pair of feet trod the flagstones at the top of the steps. The figure looked behind it and said "Remus, careful. They're asleep." Remus climbed up the last stairs and joined Chrissy looking at the two sleeping teens.

"Ah, bless! Have you ever seen anything so cute?"

Remus shook his head, smiling.

Lily and James were still curled up in the blankets James had summoned from his dorm. James leant against the far wall of the tower, and Lily was curled up in front of him, her head lain on his chest, a small smile on her face. James' face wore a small frown, as if he was concentrating on something very complex. Lily's arms were around James' neck, and one of James' hands was one Lily's waist. The other was holding the pendant from her necklace.

"Do we wake them?" Remus asked, looking slightly perplexed. "They look so…peaceful."

"Oh God no. they're so cute!" Remus looked at her sideways. "Plus, you haven't seen what Lily's like when you wake her up in the morning. It's not pretty."

Remus shrugged and said "I guess we just wait for them to wake up then."

Chrissy sat down next to the sleeping pair and closed her eyes. Remus did the same on their other side, but he stared ahead at the stone wall of the tower. After a few minutes, Chrissy spoke.

"Are they together then, do you think? Lily and James, I mean."

Remus didn't speak for a minute, then spoke slowly, as if he was still thinking as he gave his answer. "No, I don't think so. Even if they were going to get together, I think both of them have enough sense to leave it a while, until Sirius has calmed down a bit."

"I guess so." Chrissy opened her eyes and looked again at the sleeping couple. Both were snoring slightly, and James' fingers were gently stroking the pendant he held. "They just look so perfect together though."

"I know. Does Lily like Prongs?"

"Yes. She's never admitted it to any of us, but I know she does. You can tell by the look in her eyes when she sees him, she looks like – like she's seen her soulmate. It's not like people are normally, getting all giggly and stupid. She doesn't get moony when she doesn't see him. She just – when she's around him it just seems like she's slotted back into place." And that's exactly the way I feel when I'm around you.

Chrissy had the urge to spill her heart to Remus, to tell him everything she felt for him, but she knew, deep down, that it would ruin everything. Telling Remus would only scare him away, and while she knew she didn't stand a chance of ever being with him, she valued his friendship so desperately that she knew she would never be able to do anything that could jeopardise it, no matter how deeply in love she was with him. The urge to blurt it all out was too strong. This was the perfect moment, the perfect time, and Chrissy knew she had to ruin it if she didn't want to ruin their friendship.

"Why do you lot call each other those stupid nicknames anyway?"

"It's a long story. Long-standing joke, started this summer."

"Oh."

"That's deep. About Lily. How do you figure things like that out?"

Because that's the same exact way I feel, and I see the very same look in her eyes when she's not around James as I see every time I look in the mirror. "Because she's my best friend. I spend almost 24 hours a day with her. It's something that's pretty hard to miss."

"I guess that's something we have in common" Remus smiled, and Chrissy sighed, longing to be able to tell him everything that dwelled on her mind.

"What's that?"

"Being Lily's best friend. Noticing things about her that no one else does."

It was Chrissy's turn to smile. "It's strange, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Are the guys like that too?"

"Like what?"

"Sorry, that was a stupid question. I mean do the guys even feel that kind of thing? I've never really been close enough to a boy to know. Is feeling that kind of emotion just a girl thing, or are guys like that too?"

Remus was silent for a few moments. "Yes and no. Sirius is very deep, but he hides it. His kind of emotion is mainly pent-up anger and frustration from guilt he feels about things that couldn't be helped and never could have been his fault."

"That's like Lily then." Remus nodded, agreeing with her. "She feels guilty for everything: for her being a witch and Petunia being terrified of her, for any arguments her friends have, for anything that happens to her parents, for everything that happened with Sirius…but Lily cries it out. I've never caught her crying but I know she does. I sometimes hear her late at night when I'm drifting off to sleep. She wanders off by herself too, down to Hagrid's or up to one of the towers."

"Yeah. I often wonder whether to tackle her about it, but it's probably better to leave her to herself."

"Maybe."

"See, James is different again. He's very open about how he's feeling, which makes people either think he's obnoxious or stroppy. All the annoying habits he has are because he's nervous or upset. I think he does it to boost his self-confidence or something." Chrissy smiled, picturing James ruffling his already untidy hair. "But he's got a side to him not many people see. He's a joker in public, but if he knows someone well he's very perceptive and a great person to have a rant to. He just doesn't seem to have huge problems that weigh on his mind and he just doesn't get annoyed with people like the rest of us do."

"And what are you like?"

"Pardon?"

"What are you like, Remus? Are you as deep as the rest of them."

"Umm, I dunno. Anyway, there's Peter. No one really knows what's happened to him. He always looked scared though."

Chrissy mentally kicked herself. Why did she try to ask Remus anything about himself? He always seized up and got uncomfortable for some reason. Even though most people found this habit annoying, it was just another reason why Chrissy loved him. She loved his self-consciousness and his incredible sensitivity towards those around him. This conversation had just proved that more.

The two of them sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes, until Chrissy suddenly thought "Does James like Lily?"

"I really don't know. He certainly acts like it around her, but they're so close I can't work it out. They could just be really good friends, but my gut tells me there's something more to those two. This is twice now that she's cried on his shoulder and they've fallen asleep together. That's not normal guy-girl behaviour. Not when only one of them's single, at any rate."

"Twice?"

"Yeah. You know that time when she went off to the library when she was annoyed?"

"Oh yeah. I didn't know she was crying."

"James says so. Apparently she was in floods of tears and she didn't want him to leave her. They fell asleep on a sofa in the library and crept back in at about 5 a.m. I'm a light sleeper so Prongs woke me and I made him tell me what he was up to."

Chrissy nodded, thinking. "That is weird behaviour for a no-romantically-involved couple. There's got to be something going on. I think we should investigate."

Remus nodded his agreement, but before he could speak, Lily began to stir. She shook her head and murmured "No, not in the hot chocolate please." Chrissy giggled and Lily opened her eyes.

She slowly looked around her, at Chrissy, at Remus, at James who she was still lying on, and at James' hand which was still stroking her pendant. "Well, this is surreal" Lily said in a croaky voice.

"Morning sleepyhead. Have fun last night?"

Lily smiled. "Yes actually. I got a lot of things off my chest."

"Bet you did" said Chrissy who gave her a saucy wink.

"Not like that, you dirty cow!"

"So, is that a nice position to wake up in?"

"Definitely" Lily said, and snuggled up to James even further, stroking his hand that was on her stomach.

"You like him then?" Remus asked.

"Well done, round of applause for Remus." Lily said.

"Told you!" Chrissy stuck her tongue out at Remus,

"Hey, have you two been talking about us behind our backs?"

"No" Chrissy said innocently.

Lily looked disbelieving and Remus added "No really, we did it right in front of you, you just happened to be asleep. Not our problem."

Lily laughed. "If you say so."

"Anyway, do you reckon we should wake lover-boy up?"

"Shut up, you!" Lily leaned over to whack Remus but as she did so, James stirred beneath her and she pulled back.

"Aha! You really are rather fond of being in that position, aren't you!"

"Shut up Remus" Lily said, blushing.

"Don't worry about it Lils." Chrissy said, smiling. "He wouldn't say a thing. He's a big softie really." Remus scowled.

James opened his eyes. "Whazzaaa?"

Lily, Chrissy and Remus burst into hysterical laughter. James scowled.

"Sorry" Lily said. "You just look so cute!"

"Cute?" Chrissy repeated incredulously. "He looks like the back end of a Hippogriff!"

"Don't be harsh, Christina. He's just woken up and seen Lily!"

"Shut your mouth, Remus Lupin!"

"Aye aye mon capitan!"

Lily growled.

"Oh, man!" James said sleepily and rubbed his neck.

"Well if you will go to sleep sitting up with that great lump leaning on your chest…"

James scowled at Chrissy. "How was I supposed to know it's ache this much? It was perfectly comfortable at the time!" Lily glowed inside at the idea that he had liked having her snuggled up against him. "I've never fallen asleep sitting up before!"

"Non?" Chrissy said, raising an eyebrow. She decided, however, not to let the pair know that she and Remus were aware of their night-time excursions.

"Nope" James said, not batting an eyelid.

Lily yawned, and felt her eyes droop. She heard Chrissy say "Bless, sleepyhead" and felt James stroking her hair, one hand still resting on the pendant on her chest. She relished the feeling of his fingers against her exposed skin. "Aww!" Chrissy said again. Lily assumed this was at James' hair-stroking, and smiling.

"Leave her be" in James' soft, calming voice was the last thing Lily heard before she fell back to sleep.

Ooh, I just love the fluff! I came home in a disgustingly horrible mood today really wanting a cigarette, o I though 'hmm, what'll make it better? I know! I'll read reviews!' So I did.

Angel2510 Yep, they're getting longer :D DOUBLE PE? WHAT FRESH HELL? I had physics, PE and maths all in one day today (and PMS lol) which explains the bad mood but ah well. I like Matthew, he's cute. I (in real life) met him at a gig with his older brother who is REALLY REALLY HOT (but too old for me sigh) Don't worry about the h/w, I'd do it in bits if I were you - read for 5 mins, 5 mins h/w...well that's normally my plan but it never actually happens that way haha. By the way, what's your name? (none of my business but ah well) I'm in need of names for new characters... I really wasn't gonna update today, but you just sounded so desperate and needy...so I updated. All for you! Yay! And please check out my other fic - I need reviews! lol

Weird Not Boring Merci beaucoup. I'm not a fan of Lily and Sirius either, but it happened in my life so it's happening in Lily's. plus it makes for lots of sexual tension...muahahahahahaha...

Sunshine65 It's interesting that you say that...wanna appear as a Sirius-worshipper somewhere in this fic?

HPBeatles Well, we talked so I don't know what to say now except thanks!

Clarey Thanks a lot hun. I know it'll be a while before you get this far, but tis muchly appreciated!

Well, that's me done for now. And don't forget children, smoking is a dirty habit. Don't do it. Especially underage.

Becca