Uninspired Voyages
A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Para creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
A planet Voyager had come across apparently had a connection to Chakotay's people. So they had landed to investigate. Unfortunately, Chakotay had gotten separated when a sudden, gigantic storm had erupted over the landing area.
As a result, Shepherd and his Hazard Team were sent in to retrieve him.
Shepherd and the Hazard Team landed in a clearing a short distance from Chakotay's lifesigns. Together, they advanced through the undergrowth, slowly heading for the clearing. They broke through the bushes, and found Chakotay in white garments. He was standing with a white skinned alien with matching clothes and a tattoo on his forehead.
Shepherd was nonplussed, raising an eyebrow at the scene.
"... Huh! Neat. So, do you guys have a reason for all this bullshit-?"
"Shepherd!" Chakotay barked, scowling smugly, "show respect! These are the Sky Spirits who uplifted my people long ago!"
Shepherd tilted his head.
"... Okay. What," the Starfleet Intelligence agent deadpanned. Chakotay puffed himself up.
"Fifty thousand years ago, these aliens came to Earth and saw that my ancestors had a deep respect for the land and nature, as they were hunter gatherers! So they gave us unique attributes like a love of nature and adventure, as well as the knowledge to make tools-!"
Shepherd raised his hand.
"Okay. Stopping you right there," Shepherd began, "one, ALL HUMANS were hunter gatherers back then. Two? We've had tools for a lot longer than that! Three: You're Mayans, you have a pantheon of your own gods, none of whom resemble this guy."
Shepherd jerked his thumb over at the Sky Spirit, who scowled in confusion. Chakotay frowned deeply.
"How do you-?" He tried, but Shepherd snorted.
"Because I learn my facts before I start spouting bullshit! Finally: You're seriously telling me that there is something uniquely special about your ancestors, who you paint as allll being the same despite numerous differences between all the peoples of the Americas, all because some pale ass white guys from space told you things you already knew?!"
Chakotay was silent for a few moments. The Sky Spirit guy looked nervous.
"... Okay when you say it like that," Chakotay nodded. Shepherd turned to the Sky Spirit with a glare.
"You guys are con artists aren't you? Read our computer records and made up this scam," Shepherd stated, as the rest of the Hazard Team turned their guns on the alien.
The Sky Spirit threw his hands up in the air, utterly exasperated.
"Well it was WORKING until you showed up!"
Biessman choked up on his phaser rifle.
"Permission to go Cortez on these assholes, sir?" He asked. Shepherd snorted.
"I'll settle for making them into Custer," he replied.
"Works for me, sir!"
Because this was one of the worst episodes of Star Trek, and supremely racist to boot.