Author's Notes: I've had this idea in my head for a long time now, so I really wanted to get it written before my enthusiasm left me. The story takes place before Kay and Fox ever met. Fox still believes that the baby Whitney gave up for adoption is his and not Chad's.
Please, please review and let me know what you think. This story will be finished, and not left hanging like most (okay, pretty much all) of my other ones. The second chapter is almost complete and should be posted soon. But I will take any feedback and constructive criticism you guys give me.
"It won't be as long this time you know. I'm sure of it."
Kay refused to respond to Tabitha's attempt at conversation. Her eyes drifted out the window next to her instead, and she twirled a stray lock of her long brown hair between her fingers unconsciously. Tiny specks scurried about below, but she was so high up that she couldn't actually make any of them out to be people. The view was nothing short of tedious, and watching the specks move back and forth was beginning to make her grow tired.
It was also getting hard to breathe. The stench of mold and time crashed upon her without mercy, and she wondered if it had always smelled this bad here. The ticking clock on the opposite wall was the only noise she heard, and she stifled a bitter laugh as she pictured herself literally cutting the tension with a knife.
She wished she could be angry. God, she wished she could feel almost anything besides the overwhelming sadness and dread at what she knew was coming. There was no way to escape it however, and it was against her will that she allowed herself to steal a glance at the witch sitting beside her. Tabitha was the one who had insisted they come. The reasons were obvious of course, but Kay had come to the stubborn conclusion that there had to be another way- a better way- than this. She was a danger to everyone around her (as well as herself) and if she didn't get help soon, then it was anyone's guess as to what might happen next. At least, that's what Tabitha had told her family anyway.
The truth was that Kay's powers were beginning to awaken.
Yes, once upon a time she had asked this witch to help her tame her gifts and learn to use them. But never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that things would turn out this way. Violent. Bloody. Scarring. A chill ran through her as she remembered some of the things she had said and done. It had been as though she was knocked unconscious, hearing and seeing everything she was doing, but completely helpless to stop herself. There was no way to describe how she felt when she had learned later on of what had transpired.
She turned back toward the window, shivering slightly as a draft of cold autumn air slipped in through the cracks around the frame. The specks were continuing their movement beneath her, and she felt her longing to join them almost unbearable. Her forehead pressed against the glass. She shouldn't be here. There really wasn't a need for all this drama. After all, she was living with a fully-fledged witch, was she not? Her burning feelings of contempt only increased as the psychiatric consultant entered the room and began reviewing her chart. This was ridiculous. Surely there had to be some other way, something more suitable for her special needs? Some kind of witch hospital perhaps? she thought madly. Or some kind of spell from one of Tabitha's books? Anything but being here again. I don't think I'll be able to stand it- not again, not this time.
"You've been a patient here before, I see."
"Yes," she responded, not bothering to turn around and face him.
"Your parents admitted you when you were twelve."
She said nothing.
"Multiple self inflicted wounds to both wrists," he read aloud. "You were recommended to us through your family doctor, is that correct?"
"Mmm," was all she managed, her finger continuing to wrap itself painfully tight around her hair. She watched out of the corner of her eye as the consultant shared a worried glance with Tabitha.
"Do you know why you're here Ms. Bennett?"
A slight pause. "Yes."
"And do you understand that this process is necessary to help you on your road to recovery?"
"Yes."
There it was again; that damn glance. Kay felt a sudden stab of annoyance toward Tabitha, though it was gone before she could begin to decipher it. She twisted around then, the soft material of her cotton sweatpants sliding slightly against the cool hard plastic of the chair. "I've talked it over with a few other doctors here at St. Anne's," he began, and Kay's heart started to pound wildly at what she knew was coming, "and we've decided that in light of recent events, it might be best for you to spend some more time with us."
A cold wave of despair fell over her as she felt a lump of sobs begin to tighten in her throat. Her gaze shifted instinctively toward the white floor, though she noted that it was covered with so much dirt that it might possibly be considered more of a speckled gray than anything else. No one said anything for a few moments until Tabitha broke the silence.
"What exactly does that mean? How long will she have to stay?"
"It all depends on how well she does, naturally. Realistically, it might be as long as a month, maybe more."
A month. Maybe more. She turned the idea over in her head a few times before it finally began to sink in, and she could no longer hold in her sobs, or her angry protests.
"I don't want to stay here," she said desperately, "please don't make me! Tabitha please!" She felt the old witch put her arm around her in what was, undoubtedly, supposed to be a soothing gesture. Instead it just fueled her anger, and she stood up hastily, pushing the old woman away.
"Kay-"
"No, you can't make me stay here. I won't! You don't know what it was like last time! There has to be another way, please," she begged, sobs racking her thin frame until she finally collapsed onto the floor in front of the witch. She grasped desperately at her shoulders, trying to shake some sense into her. "We can find a spell or something, right? That would work better, you know it would Tabitha! Please don't do this to me!" She wasn't sure how long she had screamed and pleaded before two orderlies were forced to restrain her.
"Control yourself Ms. Bennett," the doctor told her sternly. "You're only further proving my point of why you need to be here. Now either calm down, or we'll be forced to sedate you."
"Fuck you," she snapped viciously as the two large men in white uniforms carried her into the hall. "How could you do this to me Tabitha? You know this isn't right!"
"I'm sorry Kay. I really truly am." And for the first time in a long time, Kay found herself actually looking at Tabitha. The old woman seemed to be at the end of her rope, and Kay got the impression that she really did feel sorry for her. But that didn't justify what she did, and pity wasn't going to make it any better. Ignoring the strong force that had wrapped itself around her arms, she looked through her tears and past her hurt to address the woman standing before her. She realized much later on that this was probably one of the only sane moments she was to have for quite some time.
"I hate you Tabitha Lenox, and I will never forgive you for this." She spoke clearly and precisely, knowing that each and every word she said now would have consequences later on. "Give Maria to my father as soon as you get home, and never, ever see her again. Tell him to remove my things from your house, and do not have any contact with my family again. I don't want my daughter growing up near a fucking nasty witch like you," she spat, emphasizing her words to inflict the most pain possible.
And she knew it had worked when she saw Tabitha's face stiffen, a perfect mask of indifference placed upon it. "As you wish," was all she said before turning around and disappearing down the hall.
She awoke many hours later to find herself lying on a small twin size bed with white cotton sheets and a thin blanket of the same color. Her eyes darted around the room frantically until she remembered all that had happened, and where she was. The orderlies must have sedated her just as the doctor had said they would, and now she was alone, trapped inside this damned institute once again.
A standard issue hospital gown was lying across the chair on the opposite side of the room. She managed to get it on without any real trouble, though she made sure to keep her sweats and tank top on underneath. No mirrors, she thought dryly as she gazed around the room. It was small, barely big enough for more than three people at a time she guessed. Her bed was pressed against the far wall, a tiny window up and to the right of it the only source of light in the room. A small table stood underneath, cleared of all the usual items that one might have found there; a clock, a lamp, a brush, anything she might have found useful at some point.
But this is St. Anne's Hospital for the Mentally Ill, she reminded herself bitterly. You already know what it's like here. Don't be surprised that they're not treating you any different just because you're older now.
A slight tug at the door handle revealed that she was locked inside, unable to come and go as she pleased until the proper approval was obtained. This did not surprise her, and she made her way back onto the bed, trying to get a better look outside. The window was very high however, and she nearly lost her balance trying to press her face against the glass. After her fourth futile attempt, she gave up angrily and flopped onto her stomach, pulling the thin blanket tightly around herself. Memories of the last time she was here flooded through her brain, and she found it difficult to think of anything else, no matter how hard she tried.
Perhaps this was just the way it was meant to be. As much as she doubted the idea that she would find any real help here, a nagging feeling of something she couldn't name was beginning to tug at her relentlessly. She had already known the horrors that this place withheld, and yet she had allowed herself to be dragged down here with hardly any resistance at all. She struggled desperately to attach a name to whatever it was she was feeling. Guilt, perhaps? The need to be punished? She wasn't sure. All she knew was that she didn't like it, whatever it was. But it wouldn't do to dwell on the matter, and so, she decided that she wouldn't. She wouldn't think on any of it, no matter how much it pressed her. Instead, she would think of nothing. That was the only way she had made it through her first visit in one piece, and she'd be damned if she let this place claim her now.
An uneasy sleep was beginning to take hold of her, and she welcomed its sweet release from reality. This was to become her best friend while she was here, she knew. Her dreams were the only thing that kept her sane, helping her to escape this prison without the worry of being caught. A sweet smile curved her lips as she drifted away to a different place, her thoughts fading completely in a matter of seconds.
The first few days of confinement were difficult to say the least. The absence of a clock made it hard to tell the time, though Kay had managed to invent her own method of time-keeping by watching the spot of sun from her window make its way across the room. Minute by minute, hour by hour, the days seemed to pass by even slower than she had anticipated. On her fourth morning in the small room to which she now referred to as 'The Hole', a tiny nurse had waddled through the door bearing a single piece of folded paper. She placed the note gently on the empty dresser and turned to look at Kay.
"Well? Aren't you going to open it?" She gestured repeatedly to the dresser with much enthusiasm, but faltered and gave up soon after when she saw that Kay had not so much as moved a muscle. With her eyebrows knit and her thin lips pursed tightly together, she snatched away the paper and hastily shoved it into her pocket. "All right, fine. If you don't want to read it then you'll never know what you're missing."
And with that, she turned around and left the room.
A week had now gone by since Tabitha's betrayal, and still Kay had not been able to leave The Hole. She adjusted her mental clock to coincide with meal times, and had invented a slightly amusing game called Pick The Paint. It was very clever, highly challenging and much more fun that being out with her friends or spending time with Maria. Or at least that's what she tried to make herself believe. In reality, Pick The Paint was no better than Unthread The Blanket or Try And See Through The Window, and no matter how hard she tried, she reasoned that it was just impossible for a person to sleep more than twenty one hours a day.
Each day that passed felt more like a century, and she had just lost track of how long she had been there when the door to her room came crashing open. A large man in his twenties, accompanied by the nurse who had visited her some days earlier had entered the room and made their way next to her. Kay felt herself being pulled up by the orderly, and she stood motionless as the scrutinizing gaze of the tiny nurse observed her state from head to foot.
"It's been exactly one week now since you've joined us," she began, pacing slowly back and forth from one end of the small space to the other. "Or rejoined, I should say. I offered you a chance at freedom- a chance you steadfastly refused. Well now, don't look so shocked, I'm sure it didn't take you that long to realize what was on that paper." And even as she spoke, she drew the folded white parchment from her pocket and placed it once again on the empty dresser top. "Open it."
Now Kay Bennett had been called a lot of things in her lifetime, but stupid was never one of them. She had, on occasion, been known to allow her stubbornness to overrule her better judgment (though she challenged anyone to say it to her face). However this, no matter how much she wanted to fight it, was thankfully not one of those times. Quickly she wrenched her arm free of the orderly's grip and opened the paper to examine its contents.
A quick scan revealed that it was an official grant from the hospital director for her to leave her room and socialize with other 'guests' as they had been called. She rolled her eyes. More like prisoners.
"Like what you see, do you?" the nurse said quietly.
"Yes."
A sneer planted itself on the nurse's face, twisting her features in a way that made her look very unpleasant. Kay had little doubt that the woman had become easily seduced by the power of her position. "Good. Starting tomorrow morning, you will be allowed to enter the game room on supervised visits. You will have one hour to do as you please. If you behave, which I hope you will, then you will be granted more luxuries as time goes by. If not, then you will remain here in your room when you are not with Dr. Adams."
Dr. Adams was one of the hospital's newest psychiatrists, assigned to evaluate the progress of returning patients. He was a very quiet man, often cold and distant, and Kay found it very hard to open up to him during their sessions. Besides, what was she supposed to say- "The real trouble here Doc, is that I got some bad blood in me. Witch blood, you see, and it's just wreaking all sorts of havoc on the people around me, not to mention my hormones. What should I do?"
"…will be no physical contact, horseplay of any kind, and absolutely, positively no foul language," the nurse's voice drew her back to the present situation. "Is that clear?"
Kay glanced quickly at the orderly behind her, still aware of his watchful gaze on her back. "Yes, I understand."
The nurse nodded, all traces of her earlier cheerfulness visibly eliminated from her appearance. She gave a curt nod of approval before beckoning the orderly to follow her out of the room. Kay looked down at the paper in her hand, her precious ticket to one hour of freedom each day, and smiled as she carefully tucked it underneath her pillow.
It was early the next morning that Kay felt herself awakened (rather rudely, she thought) by the nurse who had come to visit her the day before.
"It's time to get up Ms. Bennett."
"Mphhhh…."
"It's time to get up and go to the game room- unless of course you'd rather stay here and spend another day cooped up like a caged animal."
Kay rolled over to face the stern looking woman. "Whyzoearly," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes sleepily.
"Because I said so that's why. Now get a move on if you're going to come, otherwise I'm going to walk out of this room and lock the door behind me, and I won't be coming back."
"All right, all right, I'm coming," she grumbled angrily. "Do you mind?"
The nurse raised her eyebrow inquisitively. "Mind?"
"I'd like to get dressed please. I'd like to wash my face and fix my hair if its not too much trouble."
"There's no time for that you silly girl, you've only got one hour! Besides, who are you trying to impress? I can assure you that no one you'll meet today will give a rat's behind what you look like. Now either follow me please, or stay here by yourself."
Kay felt her anger boil to the surface, and she fought against the growing stubbornness that was threatening her only chance of escape. Her pride was screaming at her to stay, to show the nurse that she didn't need her pathetic charity, that she was just fine right where she was thank you very much. But her common sense was beginning to win the war. An hour of freedom was an hour of freedom, and if it meant that she had to suck it up and play the good girl role, then she was going to do it.
Obediently she left her bed and followed the nurse down the empty hallway towards the game room. She cringed as her bare feet made contact with the frozen floor, wishing desperately that she had remembered to put on the pair of slippers that were now tucked safely underneath her bed. A glance outside one of the passing windows revealed that the sun had not yet risen, and that a thick grey fog had settled itself over early morning Harmony.
When they finally reached their destination, Kay was surprised by the number of people already there. This room was nothing like the one she remembered, but a large shiny plaque on the wall above the nurse's station quickly answered any questions she might have had. The Tobias Crane Wing, she read to herself and everything clicked into place immediately.
She tugged at her hospital gown self-consciously as the nurse left her to do whatever she pleased. There must have been at least a dozen other people there with her, but she suddenly felt her need to socialize vanish. Grabbing the first magazine she could find, Kay quickly scurried over to the far side of the room, hiding herself from view in a small chair situated behind a large bulky man.
The issue of Vogue that she held in her hands may have been over two years old, but the excitement of having something to read did not escape her. She was quickly lost inside, the fact that shorter skirts were making a comeback the only important topic on her mind. That's when she felt it. She wasn't sure how she knew, or why she knew, and when she thought back on this moment in later years, she could never understand why she did what she did.
The tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood up as a slight chill caused her to shiver. Slowly she twisted her head around, her gaze just above the shoulder of the man behind her, scanning the room for the cause of her sudden uneasiness. A ton of bricks falling on her head could not have prepared her for the shock she felt as her gaze locked instinctively with a pair of mercury grey eyes that were staring at her from the other end of the room.
She spun around. Was that… but no, it couldn't be… could it? She twisted around once more to make sure that she wasn't dreaming. When her eyes once again fell upon the silver pools of intrigue looking in her direction, she knew that it was no dream. Her heart began to hammer as she fumbled with the magazine, trying to find the last line she had read and desperately trying to ignore the sound of footsteps coming in her direction. She kept her gaze firmly glued to the article, even as she heard him take the only empty seat directly across from her.
Wear them with boots and a sixties style coat to complete the look…
"Hello."
Wear them with boots and a sixties style coat to complete the look…
"Hello there."
Wear them with boots and a sixties style coat to complete the look…
"Hey, are you deaf or something? I'm talking to you."
Kay glanced up and swallowed nervously as she finally forced herself to acknowledge his presence. "Oh, hi… I was just reading this magazine. It is Vogue," she said stupidly.
He tilted his head to the side, seemingly bemused by her behaviour. "I see," he said. "Funny enough, I was actually on a first name basis with the editor of Vogue awhile back. Nice woman… very clingy. Anyway, we ended up going our separate ways. I think she works for a newspaper now."
Kay nodded slowly as she took in his appearance. He wore expensive looking green silk pajamas underneath a large green bathrobe. Even in a place like this he managed to maintain his style and grace, and she was aware that his slippers were probably worth more than her entire wardrobe put together. She was also painfully aware that she was stuck inside a standard cotton hospital gown with nothing below it but for her underwear. Inwardly she cursed the stupid nurse who'd force her to remove the clothes she came in. Quickly she ran a hand through her hair in a desperate attempt to look decent.
"So…" he trailed off. "You're Kay Bennett right? My mother was living at your old house for awhile."
Kay scoffed. "Don't remind me," she blurted out, immediately wishing she could take it back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"No, it's all right. I know how my mother can be sometimes."
You don't know the half of it, she thought bitterly. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, my mother wasn't exactly the saint everyone made her out to be."
"Yeah, I heard. She left your Dad to be with that David Hastings guy?"
"Yup. She just up and left us to go travel around Europe without a care in the world. Meanwhile we're all stuck at home wondering where to go from here."
"You sound kind of bitter."
"Is it that obvious?"
He smiled. "So is that why you're here, in this place? Because of your Mom leaving town?"
Kay shook her head and glanced back toward the magazine in her lap. "No. I don't want to talk about it."
There was a short moment when she thought she'd offended him with her sudden bluntness, but that thought passed as soon he began to talk again. "Looks like rain," he noted absently as he stared out a nearby window. Kay glanced outside to find a surprisingly beautiful view of the ocean, a dark ominous cloud making its way quickly toward them.
"What are you doing here in a place like this?" she asked him quietly, and for the second time in a matter of minutes she wished she had kept her big mouth shut. He continued to stare out the large glass window for a moment before turning to look at her.
"My father thought it best I spend some time here. He didn't want me leaving Harmony, so St. Anne's was the only logical choice."
"Oh," she said. "I see."
He shook his head, suddenly angry. "No you don't, you don't see anything. I, unlike every other fucked up person in this room, don't belong here. I'm not some crazy nutjob who needs to be baby sat every god damn minute of every god damn day just because I can't stand to be in the same room as my sick, incest loving half brother. Chad can do no wrong in my father's eyes, whereas I, his firstborn son, deserve to be thrown into a mental institution because I can't seem to control myself around him. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong that I don't agree with Whitney giving my son up for adoption without my knowledge? Is it so wrong that I might have a problem with that freak Chad adopting him?"
Kay sat, dumbstruck by Fox Crane's sudden outburst of emotion.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, placing his hands over his face and shaking his head. "I didn't mean to blow up like that. I didn't mean to imply that you need to be here either. I mean, not that I know if you do or not, because you won't tell me, but… I don't know. Maybe I'll just shut up and spare you from listening to my ramblings."
He made to get up, but was stopped when Kay grabbed his wrist and gently pulled him back into the chair. Quickly she removed her hand, suddenly embarrassed by the fact that she'd touched him.
"No, it's okay, really. I don't mind listening to you. It helps me get my mind off of my own problems."
He stared at her for a moment, seemingly trying to decide whether she was being genuine or not, and Kay once again found herself lost in the grey depths of his eyes. Before today she hadn't even known it was possible to have eyes that colour. She compared them to the storm making its way across the sea at that very moment, and she found herself hoping that it passed by very quickly- for his sake.
"Well, it seems you're one up on me now Bennett," he smirked. "You know why I'm here, so I'd say it's only reasonable that now you tell me why you got shipped off to this Hell Hole."
She shook her head stubbornly. "I told you, I don't want to talk about it."
"Come on-"
"No. And don't ask again because I'm not going to tell you."
A pause.
"We'll see. Give it time. I'll get the truth out of you sooner or later."
Kay looked up at the clock on the wall. She had less than half an hour left before she had to return to The Hole, and she didn't intend on spending it with someone who was going to pester her the whole time.
"Leave me alone," she said angrily. "I'm trying to read."
Kay's next few visits to the game room were not nearly as relaxing as she'd hoped. She spent the majority of the time trying to hide herself from Fox's relentless gaze, praying that he would just leave her alone to read in peace. And he did, for a time. But it wasn't long until his patience had worn thin, and she once again found herself staring into those mesmerizing mercury pools.
"This is silly," he said.
Kay looked up from her magazine. "I'm sorry?"
"I said, this is silly. This whole 'us not talking to each other' thing. We should be taking advantage of the fact that we've each got a friend in here."
"I have a friend in here? Where?" She sat straight up and looked around, clearly mocking his attempt to reach out to her.
"I meant me."
She slouched back down until she found a comfortable position. "Oh. How can you be my friend if I've never even met you before?"
"Because I know who you are, you know who I am- we're practically family. Our parents dated, I lived in your old house-"
"Not to mention the fact that I know why you're in this place. I've got something on you, Fox Crane, and it must be eating you up inside." A smug smile crept across her face, but quickly faded when she saw how serious he'd become. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be joking about that."
He shook his head. "It's all right. I just thought that us hanging out together might make life in this place a little easier to cope with."
Kay sighed. To be completely honest, the idea of spending time with Fox was a great deal more appealing then anything else she could think of to keep busy. "You're right. I didn't mean to seem so snobbish. I'd like it if we could… you know, hang out… and stuff."
Fox smiled. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear. So how long do you have before they ship you back off to your room?"
"Well, Dr. Adams told the nurses that I can come and go whenever I please now, just as long as I'm back in my room before dinner." She glanced at the clock, which read one thirty. "I'd say I've got about four hours. What about you? How long do you have?"
Fox cocked an eyebrow as if offended. "Do you really think my father would allow these so called 'professionals' to keep me locked up all day?"
"No, I suppose not," she admitted. "So what do you want to do?"
"Chess?" he asked.
"I don't know how to play."
"Chess it is then," he smirked as he pulled a small wooden table between their chairs and began to set up the board.
They spent the entire remainder of Kay's free time that day playing chess. It didn't take long for her to understand the basics of the game, though she doubted she'd ever be a match for Fox. He'd clearly been playing since he was a child, and every strategy she came up with was quickly foiled by his years of skill and experience. When the clock reached quarter to six, Kay pushed her chair back and stood up to stretch her legs.
"Good game Bennett. You're not so bad for a beginner."
She smiled. "Thank you. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll even be good enough to beat you."
Fox let out a long laugh that probably should have made her angry. Instead she fought hard to suppress the growing fit of giggles that was beginning to form in her throat. "Well now, let's not get too carried away here. You're good, Bennett, but you're not that good."
Kay returned to The Hole shortly after her game with Fox had ended. She closed the door behind her and sat down on her bed to think. Fox was definitely right. Just spending time with him for one day had already given her the morale boost she so desperately needed. She couldn't wait to see him again tomorrow.
When she entered the game room the next morning, Kay was pleased to see that Fox was waiting for her with the chessboard already set up. She took the seat across from him, and they began to chat as the game commenced. She learned a lot about him during the next week, as they spent almost all of her free time playing various games with each other.
Fox had confided in her the way he felt about his family and the resulting situation that led him to be where he was. In return Kay had told him about her own family, and how much it actually hurt her to know that her own mother had loved her cousin more than her. They offered each other advice, and often made light of the fact that their horrible home lives had driven them to a stay in a mental hospital. Kay was more grateful for Fox's presence than he would probably ever know. Without him there, this place would most likely have driven her insane long before now.
The one thing they never spoke of, however, was the reason that Kay was there. No matter how hard Fox pressured her to reveal her secret, she never would. Eventually he gave up and left the subject alone; something that Kay was very thankful for. She felt the protective walls inside her begin to crumble whenever he was around, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold the truth inside. The memories of what she did continued to haunt her, but no matter how much she longed to confess the truth to Fox, she knew she couldn't. She feared his rejection too greatly to ever let him know why Tabitha and everyone else thought she needed mental help.
"Why do you do that?" he asked her one day.
"Do what," she mumbled, her eyes focused on the board in front of her. Fox wasn't even paying attention. She moved her bishop to within striking distance of his king.
"That thing you're doing with your hair. Wrapping it around your finger like that. Why do you do it?"
Kay glanced up to find Fox studying her intensely. She hadn't even realized what she'd been doing. "I don't know," she shrugged. "Habit I guess." She shifted her eyes back to the game where Fox had taken her bishop out with one move from his queen. She frowned. Where did that come from?
"You get distracted too easily," he told her. "You didn't see that coming from a mile away and yet it was right there in front of your face."
Kay bit her tongue so as not to blurt out the sarcastic remark that was struggling to escape. "Thanks for the tip," she said instead, returning her focus to the game. There had to be some way to win this. She was tired of losing, and wouldn't give up until she put Fox in his place. He wasn't as good as he thought, and she was going to prove it to him no matter how long it took.
He sat back in his chair and let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm sick of these games. We've played them all a million times and I have no desire to continue. Isn't there anything else to do around this place?"
That caught her attention. "What do you mean?"
"What do you mean, 'what do I mean?'" he snapped. "I mean I want something else to do. I'm sick of sitting here all day, everyday. If we keep this up, I think I'm going to go crazy."
Both Kay and Fox paused as they thought about what he'd just said. Then they burst out laughing.
"You're right," Kay said through her giggles, "this is beginning to get a bit dull. But what can we do about it? They don't exactly give us a lot of options to choose from."
Fox paused, clearly rummaging around his brain for a useful idea. "I think I have a remedy to our problem," he said.
"Really?"
He leaned over the table and motioned for her to do the same. Kay flushed as she realized that their faces were now mere inches apart. She tried hard to ignore the fact that she could feel Fox's warm breath on the side of her cheek.
"Do you really want to do something exciting?" he whispered.
His mercury eyes searched her face intently as she felt her heart begin to hammer in her chest. "Yes," she breathed.
"I mean it Kay, do you really want to have some fun? This could get us into a lot of trouble."
She took a deep breath. "God yes."
He smiled. "I knew you would. Be ready at midnight. I'll meet you outside your room."
"But I don't have a key. The nurse locks my room after six."
"You just leave that to me," said Fox. "Get ready for a night you'll never forget."
Kay let out a frustrated sigh as she paced the length of her tiny room over and over again. She'd lost track of time well over an hour ago, but the amount of moonlight falling across her floor clearly told her that midnight had long since passed. Where was Fox? Had he forgotten about her? She sat down on the edge of her bed and tapped her foot lightly against the floor.
This is a stupid idea, she reprimanded herself. There was no telling what kind of repercussions she and Fox would have to face if they were caught out of their rooms this late at night. She felt herself cringe at the prospect of being stuck inside The Hole for another few weeks. And just the mere thought of not being able to see Fox… well, that was enough to twist her insides into a knot she'd rather not think about. For some reason she couldn't fathom, the idea of not being able to talk to him was very painful. More painful than she'd care to understand.
The door to her room clicked open. Kay glanced up just in time to see Fox rush inside carrying a large bundle in his arms.
"What on Earth?"
She watched in amazement as he threw off the long white doctor's coat he'd been wearing and replaced it with a very heavy looking sweater. Once he had it on he looked over at Kay and handed her a very similar looking sweater.
"Don't ask," he smiled and he shook his head. "You'll need to put that on, as well as your slippers. I'm afraid it's a bit chilly out this time of night."
"What took you so long?" Kay's voice was muffled through the sweater as she quickly pulled it over her head. "What time is it? Why were you wearing that coat? And did you say we were going outside?"
Fox narrowed his eyebrows and placed his index finger against his lips. "Shhhh," he whispered sternly. "Are you trying to get us caught? Don't worry about all that stuff right now, I'll explain it to you once we're out of here. Now just follow my lead, and for God's sake be quiet about it."
Kay watched as he poked his head out into the hall. Once he was certain that they were alone, he motioned for her to follow him. She did as she was told, and gratefully took his offered hand as they headed down the hallway. Her heart hammering in her chest, Kay tried to recall the last time she'd ever felt so alive. Adrenaline coursed through her body as Fox led her past a very tired and lazy looking security guard. Without a word, he led her into an empty room and shut the door behind them.
Before she could ask what he thought he was doing leading her into an abandoned room, his hand shot out and covered her mouth. He shook his head and again motioned for her not to make a sound. Completely bewildered as to what the hell was going on, Kay nodded and watched in amazement as Fox led her in front of an empty bookcase.
He dropped her hand to lift something from the shelf, and in spite of herself Kay couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.
"Watch," she heard his voice, barely audible in the darkened room. He lifted something from the shelf. Nothing happened. She saw his frown, and again wondered what kind of mess she'd gotten herself into.
"Watch," he whispered again, and this time she saw that his frown had turned into a full grown smirk. She couldn't help but stare as he ran his fingers along the edge of the old wood. My but he did look handsome when he was being mysterious. And had his shoulders always been that broad? Kay swallowed.
Get a grip, she told herself. You look like crap. Like he'd even be talking to you if you weren't the only person he knew in here.
The sound of wood scraping the floor pulled her out of her thoughts, and she watched in amazement as Fox pushed the bookshelf to the side with ease. Behind it ran a small, winding length of stairs. She followed him to the bottom and out into what looked like some kind of court yard she'd never seen before.
"What is this place?" she asked.
"Not yet," was his only reply as he grabbed her hand and forced her to follow him down a path obscured by tree branches and roots that stuck up from the dirt. She wondered what part of the grounds they could possibly be in. A small part of her dared to believe that Fox had taken her to some sort of secret place that no one else knew about; somewhere they could be alone without the possibility of anyone else finding them.
But her logic told her better. They must have wandered past the confines of the hospital and onto a path that led somewhere beyond the walls. How they managed that, she had no idea. And frankly, she didn't care.
"We're almost there," he panted as they made their way down a steep hill. Kay followed him past the last tree and into a small clearing. She stopped short at the sight that greeted her. Fox had led her to a small lake, the likes of which she had never seen before. The musical sound of tiny waves splashing against the shore made her feel as though she were a thousand miles away from civilization.
"Fox, it's…."
"Beautiful?" he supplied.
She shook her head, still at a loss for words. Moonlight reflected on top of the water making it shine as though a million lights were lit beneath the surface. She closed her eyes and inhaled the sweet smell of fresh air; something she had sorely missed since her captivity began a few weeks ago. "I don't know what to say," she told him honestly. "This is all so… incredible. It's just what I needed. Thank you."
"Come on, I want to show you something." He smiled as he took her hand once more and led her next to a large tree only a few feet from the shore. "My father's great uncle was the one who built St. Anne's you know. He had a friend who suffered from some sort of mental illness, and apparently the thought of her being sent away from Harmony for treatment was too much for him to handle."
He led her around the tree to reveal a crudely shaped heart carved into the bark. His fingers traced the edges of the letters T.S.C. written inside.
"Tobias Crane," she whispered.
Fox gave her a curious stare. "Yes. How did you know?"
"From the plaque in the game room. I saw it when I first arrived. It's a new edition, isn't it?"
He nodded. "My grandfather had it added on a few years ago. He felt that the building could do with a few improvements. 'Anything that has the Crane name attached to it represents the Crane family and therefore must be kept in top form Nicholas,'"he said, mimicking his grandfather's voice.
Kay laughed. "I think I can picture Alistair Crane saying something like that."
"Trust me, you don't want to know half the things that old man has said to me," he sighed as he flopped down on the grass and crossed his arms underneath his head. Kay followed suit, and they lay side by side staring at the sky above.
"How did you know about this place?" she asked him.
"I did a little research in the Crane library before I came here. It wasn't hard to find out considering the kinds of resources that place has."
Kay nodded, her mind suddenly envisioning a room with nothing but bookshelves built up to the very ceiling. "No, I don't suppose it would be."
"Do you read much?"
"Read? Well, I suppose when I find a book that captures my interest. I really have to be into it though, or else I'll stop about ten pages in."
Fox chuckled. "How I envy you Kay. You have no idea how many times I wanted to tear up the books I was forced to read as a child. Unfortunately my teacher would have none of it, so instead of playing outside with my friends, I was forced to read all of Dickens' most famous works by the time I was fourteen."
Kay propped herself up on her elbow to look down at him. "I can't imagine what that must have been like for you. But just think of everything you learned. Surely that must compensate-"
"I'd trade it all for a normal childhood in a heartbeat," he cut her off. "It's true, I've been very privileged to receive such an amazing education, but…"
"But what?"
"Do you know how lonely it was for me to be off at boarding school for all those years? To have spent only three Christmas's and one Thanksgiving with my family since I was eleven?"
Kay felt her heart ache for the things that Fox must have endured as a child. Memories of happy Christmas mornings flooded her mind, and she couldn't imagine growing up away from all of that. She watched as Fox rolled onto his side to face her. His troubled gaze met her own, and she fought down the urge to reach out and comfort him.
"Fox, I'm so sorry. All these years I pictured the Crane's as the perfect family. Money, servants, everything a person could ever ask for, you know?"
His gaze was unwavering as he studied her face with emotions she couldn't decipher.
"But I guess I was wrong," she continued. "I had no idea."
He said nothing as he continued to stare, his gaze flickering between her eyes and her mouth. Kay swallowed, suddenly aware of how close they were to one another. She felt her heart hammer in anticipation.
Anticipation of what? she wondered. I love Miguel, so what could possibly-
But her mind went blank as soon as Fox seized her lips with his own and pushed her body back onto the ground. Kay's head swam at the feel of him on top of her. The sweet sensation of his tongue exploring her mouth became almost too much to handle.
She moaned in pleasure as he moved his attention lower and began trailing kisses down her neck. There was heaven in his touch, and she could practically taste the passion coming from him.
He pulled away to look at her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice ragged. "I don't know what came over me."
Kay swallowed, unsure of what to say. She didn't want him to be sorry, or to regret what had just happened between them. Truth be told, she wasn't entirely sure who had even wanted it more- him or her.
He ran his hands gently through her hair. "I've wanted to do that since the first time I saw you smile," he whispered. Chills shot through her, and her mind was screaming that this was wrong, that they could never be together because she loved Miguel and no one else.
But her mind, it seemed, had little control over her body and before she knew what she was doing, she pulled him in for another kiss. All her life she was convinced that Miguel was the one for her; the only boy she would ever love. But now, with Fox in her arms and the cool wind of early morning blowing through her hair, she wasn't quite so sure.
He moved his hands beneath her sweater to caress the tender flesh of her stomach. Kay closed her eyes to savor the sensation of his touch. She felt him tug the sweater above her head, leaving her in nothing but her bra. Her body involuntarily shivered as the freezing air stung her skin.
Fox trailed his kisses up her arm, pausing to examine the scars that remained on her wrists even to this day. He gave her a piercing look, one that she didn't quite understand until she realized what he'd seen.
Oh God, Kay thought frantically. What must he think of me now?
"Fox, it's-"
"Shhh," he said before seizing her mouth for another kiss. She felt his need to be with her, understood what he was feeling more than he would ever know. After all, she knew what it was like to be stuck in this awful place, where you were all alone with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company. The strength of emotions spinning inside her were becoming too much to handle, and just when she thought she would die from lack of oxygen, he pulled away to look at her. His fingers gently stroked the inside of her forearm, running over the jagged bumps and scars that had appeared so many years ago.
"It doesn't matter now. None of it does. My childhood… your childhood. It's all in the past. All that matters is the present. All that matters is right now."
Kay nodded, grateful for his understanding. All of that was behind them now, and if what she was feeling at this very moment was any indication of her future, then her life was definitely going to change for the better.
"I want you," he whispered, and Kay suddenly felt her entire body grow stiff. Surely Fox couldn't think that she would sleep with him now? Here? She quickly had the answer as she felt him push her legs apart with his muscular thigh.
This is what you wanted, isn't it? The tiny voice in the back of her mind had suddenly come to life. You wanted him to like you, and he does, so what's the problem? You're no virgin- what are you scared of?
Kay swallowed hard. It was true, she wasn't a virgin anymore- she'd slept with Miguel, and if she were being honest, she'd have to admit that she'd liked it very much. But she wasn't with Miguel right now. She was with someone else, someone she'd met only a few weeks ago, she reminded herself. They had no protection, no assurances that she wouldn't end up pregnant again. She cried out as a tree root dug into her back. This wasn't right. The timing, the place, everything about her current situation was wrong. She just wasn't ready.
Realization hit her like a ton of bricks as she thought about where she was. If he wanted her bad enough, then she would be his. There would be no way to fight him off, and there would be no one to hear her cries for help.
"Stop," she said as he trailed his hand down her leg.
He didn't seem to hear.
"Stop," she repeated, panic now evident in her voice. "Fox stop, I don't want to do this."
He grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head, deaf to her pleas. "I want you Kay," he muttered again, and the look in his eyes told her that he was going to get what he wanted.
"Stop!" she screamed, struggling underneath him to free herself from his grip. How had he turned so quickly from kind and charming, to rough and terrifying? Her breathing became heavy and erratic, and she realized with dawning horror that tears had begun to slip down her cheeks. She struggled as best she could, but Fox's weight was just too much for her to overcome.
"Please," she begged, "Fox, stop it… Stop it!"
He froze, pulling his face quickly away from her collarbone where he'd been entranced by the softness of her skin. She watched as he took in her appearance, eyes wide with terror and a sudden understanding. He rolled off of her and quickly stood up.
Kay couldn't move. He body shivered as the air cut into her skin like a thousand knives all at once. Had it always been this cold out here? A shaky hand held the sweater she'd been wearing, and she snatched it away from him as quickly as possible, desperate to avoid any unnecessary contact. She sat up and slipped it over her head.
"Kay…"
"Don't," she said, her voice unusually high.
"I'm so sorry… I didn't mean-"
"I know," she cut him off, wiping her tear stained cheeks with the end of her sleeve. "It's all right. I understand."
Fox shook his head, the look of shock and disgust still etched across his features. "No, it's not all right. I can't believe… I didn't mean… I'm sorry…"
Kay rose slowly, amazed that she was able to stand on her wobbly legs. Fox took a step back, seemingly afraid that he would lose control again and do something they'd both regret. They stared at each other for a moment before Fox mumbled another incoherent apology and made a quick exit without saying goodbye. Not that she'd expected him to. She sank down on her knees, the effort of standing suddenly too much for her to handle.
By the time she'd made it back to The Hole undetected, the sun was almost up. She and Fox must have snuck outside long after midnight, even longer than she'd initially thought. A million thoughts assaulted her as she closed her eyes and tried for rest.
She sighed, rolling onto her back to stare at the ceiling. She hated that Fox had left so abruptly, and she couldn't stand the thought of him being disgusted with himself because of her reaction. Had she overreacted? She couldn't seem to get the idea out of her brain. What would happen the next time they saw one another, or the next time they spoke? Would he hate her for turning him away, for making him feel so awful?
Kay groaned aloud, rubbing her eyes in anger as she realized that sleep would not come this night. She sat up and began to pace the length of her room.
As morning rolled around, Kay jumped at the first opportunity she had to visit the game room. Every morning for the past few weeks, Fox had always been there, waiting for her. She needed to talk to him him, needed to explain why she did what she did.
The thought struck her that most women in her position would not be seeking out the man who'd tried to force himself on her. She knew she should be angry. She knew she should want to avoid him, that she should be horrified with his actions, and that she should definitely not want to see him again.
Yet as she walked into the game room and saw that Fox was not present, she couldn't help but wonder why the only thing she felt was disappointment.
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