Author's Notes: Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed the first chapter. Feedback of any kind is definitely a great method of encouragement and I appreciate it. That said, I hope you like the second part of the story. Please review and let me know what you think:)
Fox Crane rolled onto his side, unable to rest. Although he had the biggest, most luxurious bed in the entire hospital, it came as little comfort to him in light of the recent events of two nights ago. He still couldn't believe…
No. Stop thinking about it. You're only making things worse.
But the fact was that things couldn't possibly be any worse then they were right now. So he had a king size bed, silk sheets, and a personal nurse to do his every bidding. None of it mattered. This place, this farce of a hospital as he thought of it, was driving him crazy. The only thing that had kept him sane this long was her. And now she was gone, scared off by his stupid uncontrollable lust. He couldn't handle it. He simply couldn't help himself. And now he was paying for it.
But that's not you, he told himself. He'd never forced a woman into doing anything she didn't want to. And when he thought about what he'd tried to do to Kay, his stomach clenched involuntarily, full of disgust and self loathing.
He was a bad person. He'd come to accept it. And that was why he needed to stay away from her. He couldn't take the chance of anything like that happening again. She was the one thing that kept him balanced, kept him in check, and now he'd lost her. How the hell was he going to survive in here now?
"What do you mean they said no?" Fox's angry voice carried through the doorway of his room and into the empty hall.
"I'm sorry Mr. Crane, but the Hospital Director has absolutely forbidden any electronic devices of any kind. You knew the rules when you first came here."
Fox studied his nurse angrily, aware that a sudden tick had started in his jaw. The nurse did not seem intimidated by his behavior, however, and she continued to tidy his room without any regard to his hostility.
"Virginia, if I don't have a television in this room by five o'clock, then I'll-"
"Then you'll what?" she snapped, standing up to her full height, apparently trying to show him that she wasn't one to be bullied. Fox stared down at the tiny woman, trying to keep his temper in check.
"Then I will have you fired and homeless before you even realize what's happened."
Virginia laughed. "You'll do no such thing. Why have you been so moody lately? What's happened, hmm?"
"Nothing."
She shook her head impatiently. "Well something must have happened for you to start acting like this. You were perfectly agreeable a few days ago. Why don't you go spend some time in the game room? What happened to that girl you played chess with? I thought you two got along rather well."
"It's none of your god damn business, that's what," Fox growled through clenched teeth. He watched in amazement as the little woman just stood there, completely oblivious to the dangerous line she was walking.
"I see," was all she said.
"You see what?"
"Nothing."
"What do you mean nothing?"
She gave him a stern look. "Do you really want me to spell it out for you?"
"Please do," he said with a mock tone of enthusiasm, "I'm dying to know why you think I'm being such an ass."
"All right," she said, dropping the bedding she was folding. "Just remember you asked me to tell you."
Fox waited patiently as he watched her place her laundry to the side.
"It's that girl. The one you've been playing chess with. Something has obviously happened between the two of you, and now you're miserable because you're not spending any time with her. What was it, hmm? Did you have an argument? Because I think it's very silly to let one little fight get in the way of your friendship. I don't know the details of course, but I do know that you won't be happy until you make up with her. So what are you waiting for? Why aren't you out looking for her?"
Fox blinked, suddenly uneasy at how perceptive his nurse was. He'd have to be more careful around her.
"Well?" she asked. "Am I right?"
"Partly," he admitted, tired of keeping his emotions bottled up inside. All earlier demands and threats had suddenly evaporated from his mind. The only thing he could think about was Kay. "You don't understand," he went on. "It's not that I don't want to spend time with her, because I do. I don't have that right. Not anymore."
Virginia frowned, unable to think of how to respond. Before she had a chance to contemplate her answer, Fox stood up.
"I need a walk," he said, his voice distracted. "I'll be back later."
He left the room abruptly, no clear destination in mind. He couldn't go to the game room, or anywhere on the other side of the floor. She would be there. He couldn't take that risk. Before he knew where his feet were leading him, he found himself once again in the abandoned room that led to his secret lake. He turned around, unsure of how he'd managed to slip past the security guard without being seen.
Perhaps this was the best place to go.
His mind argued that it was a mistake, that he'd regret it if he were to get caught. It was still daylight outside, though the sun would be setting anytime now. He took a deep breath as he pushed the bookcase aside and made his descent down the narrow staircase.
Orange rays of heat blinded him as he emerged from the thick wall of trees and into view of the lake. He spied the tree that he had shown Kay not too long ago, but walked past it with purpose, wanting to avoid the bad memories that rose up inside him. The mild evening air was so much different than the last time he was here. He took comfort in it as he walked along the shore and sat on top of an aging picnic table.
Perfect.
His gaze drifted out onto the lake, so small that he supposed it was really more of a pond than anything else. He remembered his grandfather telling him about this place when he learned that Fox was going to be sent here.
Damn his father. Who did he think he was shipping his own son off like this? His whole family was definitely fucked up. They thought he was crazy? He wasn't the one who wanted to sleep with his sister! And yet Chad could do no wrong in their father's eyes. He didn't understand people sometimes. Whitney gave his baby up for adoption without his permission and he didn't have a right to be upset about it? It made no sense. None of this made any sense. What was he doing here?
"Fox?" A voice pulled him out of his contemplation. He cocked his head slightly to see Kay standing off to the side. He focused his eyes back on the water, unable to look at her.
"What do you want?" he asked miserably.
She hesitated. "May I join you?"
Fox narrowed his eyebrows in confusion, still unwilling to look at her. Why would she want to speak with him, let alone sit with him after everything that had happened between them? "Be my guest."
Kay slowly climbed on top of the picnic table, deliberately making sure to keep a fair amount of space between them. They sat in silence for a few moments before she finally spoke.
"What are you doing out here?"
"I came out here to be alone," he said harshly; more harsh than he'd intended. He turned to look at her. "What are you doing? How did you even get out here anyway?"
She smiled. "I followed you. I've been waiting two days to talk to you. I couldn't just let this opportunity slip away."
Fox straightened, caught off guard by her words. "You've been waiting to talk to me?"
"Of course I have. I've been bored out of my mind for two days straight. I miss spending time with you."
"You do?" he asked, unable to believe what he was hearing.
"Yes…" she trailed off, a blush creeping up her neck and across her cheeks. Fox studied her carefully, entranced by the way the fading sunlight seemed to make her glow. The orange light made her appear healthy and radiant, as if she hadn't been indoors for days. Auburn highlights danced along her tresses, captivating him in a way he didn't think possible. She was definitely beautiful. More beautiful than he deserved. He tore his gaze away.
"I don't understand. How can you want to be friends with me after-"
"It doesn't matter anymore," she cut him off. "I told you I understood. Things got out of control, but nothing happened. I was upset at first… I admit that. But I know you would never hurt me. Please don't beat yourself up about it."
There was a moment of silence before Fox finally responded. "You're amazing, you know that?"
Kay smiled. "Yeah, I know."
"Not very modest though," he continued, unable to fight off his growing laughter.
"So I've been told," she agreed, letting out a content sigh as she too stared out over the water. "Just promise me one thing?"
"Anything."
"Let's never talk about this again. Just forget about it."
Fox paused, trying to understand where she was coming from. "I don't think I can ever forget-"
"I know," she said with an impatient wave of her hand. "Me neither. Just promise me you'll try?"
"All right… I'll try."
"Good," she smiled. "That's good."
They sat in silence, enjoying the sunset until it finally disappeared from sight. Fox made a show of stretching out his long legs before he fell back against the top of the table. He closed his eyes, glad that he and Kay were back on the same page with regard to their friendship. A smile crossed his lips as he felt her shift her weight and lie down beside him.
"So who told you about this place anyway?" she asked.
"My grandfather."
"Alistair Crane?"
"That is my grandfather, isn't it?"
"Unfortunately for you," she laughed, not seeming to mind that with any other person her words would be considered an insult. "Why did he let you in on the secret?"
Fox sighed. "I'm not sure, to be honest. Maybe because I'm a Crane? Maybe because he thinks that name should still mean something to people? I suppose he thought I should have a little extra information during my stay. Something that might help me out in a jam, you know?"
"I guess that makes sense," she said slowly. "This fresh air is exactly what we both needed to keep us going. No doubt it was constructed for Tobias Crane or his secret lady love, whoever she might have been."
Fox didn't fail to note the wistful tone in her voice, and he knew she was referring to the heart they'd found carved on that tree. He smiled at the thought. Was Kay Bennett a romantic at heart? "Perhaps. Or maybe it's just an abandoned part of the grounds. Maybe this lake was used to dispose of unwanted bodies? Or mutilated babies?"
"Yuck! If I were you Nicholas Foxworth, I'd stop talking about dead bodies right now. You're giving me ideas that don't bode well for your state of being."
Fox chuckled. "Fair enough. I'm just making the point that not everything in this town comes from Crane money or influence you know. Perhaps my grandfather knowing about this place was simply a stroke of luck."
"Yes, and if that's the case then you might as well call me the Queen of Ireland."
"The Queen of Ireland?"
"It was the first place that popped into mind. I've always wanted to go there. Don't ruin the joke! Alistair Crane doesn't just have luck. He has money and power and evil minions to do his bidding. No doubt he has the blueprints to every building in Harmony."
Fox couldn't argue with that. He'd often wondered how his grandfather knew of the things that happened halfway across town before anyone else did. Kay was a very perceptive person. "You know, I can't even begin to count the number of times my grandfather let it slip that he knew something we didn't. All that power, being the head of the Crane empire… it's definitely corrupted him."
Kay thought over Fox's words carefully before responding. "Are you saying that he hasn't always been corrupted? That once upon a time, Alistair Crane was as nice a guy as you are?"
Fox swallowed hard, trying desperately to stomp down the sudden surge of pride that had appeared in his chest. Kay thought he was a nice guy. Even after what he'd done. He couldn't fathom why her opinion meant so much to him, but for some reason it did. It wasn't a reason he really wanted to understand, however, so he quickly filed away his thoughts for a later examination.
"I'm not saying he was ever a nice guy- not to me anyway. My sister on the other hand… well, he adored her. But with everyone else…" he trailed off.
"Yes?" Kay asked, urging him to continue.
"My grandfather had a saying. I remember him telling it to Ethan often, back when he thought he was a Crane, you know? Grandfather had been grooming him to take over the company since he was just a child. He wanted him to be just like he was, but Ethan… well, Ethan was too far too noble and far too perfect to ever be like Alistair. I think he knew it too. He would listen to grandfather's saying, but he'd never say anything afterwards, probably not to offend him."
Fox glanced over at Kay to find her staring at him. She was no doubt wondering why he'd suddenly turned into a blabbering idiot.
"I'm sorry. I'm rambling. I didn't mean to-"
"What was it?" she cut him off.
Fox blinked. "What was what?"
"Alistair's saying. What was it?"
"It was a nasty saying, something he must have picked up from his father. No doubt he was trying to mold Ethan's mind into something he could be proud of."
"Well?"
"Every morning- well, every morning I was at home anyway, Alistair would run into Ethan somewhere in the mansion. And each morning they met, whether it was in the kitchen, or the living room, or some random hallway, Alistair would always leave him with the same words: 'Remember Ethan, it matters not if you show no mercy, for the sun still shines on the wicked.' "
"That's a horrible saying!"
"Yes, it is. Ethan thought so too. He couldn't understand grandfather's way of thinking."
"I don't blame him," Kay agreed as she covered her mouth to hide a yawn.
"You're tired."
She shrugged. "I haven't been sleeping well."
"Neither have I."
"We should probably get back inside before they miss us. I'm supposed to be in my room before dinner. No doubt it's long since passed."
Fox quickly agreed that it was probably for the best. They both needed to get some sleep, despite the early hour. The sun had just gone down, but he was ready for bed, and he was sure that Kay was as well.
Once again they managed to slip past the lazy security guard without being detected.
"This is my stop," Fox smiled as he inclined his head to the door of his room.
"Oh."
"Will I see you in the game room tomorrow?" he asked. His heart was hammering so loudly against his ribcage that he was sure she'd be able to hear it.
She shook her head. "No. I have an extra long session with Dr. Adams tomorrow."
"I see. What about the day after? Will you be there then?"
Kay smiled, her eyes bright with anticipation. "I'm game if you are," she smiled, then giggled at her own pun.
"That was bad," Fox shook his head, opening the door to his room. He turned around just in time to see her backing down the hall.
"Have a good night," she called out to him. "Get some rest. I'll see you in a day."
Fox studied Kay, amused by her determination to finally beat him at chess. He loved the way her nose wrinkled when she realized she had no chance to win. Most of his opponents would have given up by now, but not Kay. She was as stubborn as he was.
"Accept your defeat Bennett, there's no way you can worm your way out of this one. I've got you trapped."
"No," she said, shaking her head in defiance. "There has to be a way. Just give me a minute to think."
Fox inhaled a large breath of fresh air. He and Kay had taken to playing their games outside lately, and so far they hadn't been discovered. St. Anne's was almost bearable with access to the outdoors, he reasoned. And it was even better when he had someone to share it with.
His gaze drifted out onto the lake, his mind wandering back to the first night he'd taken Kay here. He still hadn't forgiven himself for his actions. She must have thought him a beast- some lust crazed, testosterone driven animal with no care for her feelings at all. What had come over him? He'd never acted like that with a woman before. It was all becoming too difficult to understand. When it came to Kay, he didn't know what to think. She certainly stirred up emotions inside him that he hadn't felt in a long time- emotions he couldn't begin to decipher.
"Checkmate!" she exclaimed suddenly, drawing his attention back to the board. She pulled his king from the playing surface and placed it on top of the picnic table. Fox frowned.
"You can't do that, my bishop was right here."
"Right where?" she asked, her tone as sweet and innocent as that of a child's.
"Right here," he said again, pointing to the empty square that had recently been occupied by his playing piece. She'd obviously taken advantage of the fact that he wasn't paying attention to the game. "You must have moved it, you little cheater."
Kay shot him a mischievous look. "Who, me?"
"Yes, you," he grinned. "Unless he got up and walked away by himself?"
"That must have been it then," she stammered, trying desperately to suppress the growing fit of giggles that threatened to escape.
Fox gave her a knowing look. "I see. Well that's it then, I guess you beat me fair and square. Congratulations, I didn't think you had it in you."
"You clearly underestimated my cunning and intelligence."
"Clearly."
"So what do I win? It's not everyday someone brings down the mighty Fox Crane at his own game. I think I deserve a prize."
"Oh? And what kind of prize do you think you deserve?"
She smiled. "Well, I don't want money, or gold."
"No gold?"
"Nope. And I don't want jewels or cars, or anything fancy like that."
"I see. So what do you want?" he asked, his body leaning over the table instinctively. He was surprised when she met him halfway.
"I think you know." Her voice was scarce more than a whisper, but he heard it clear as day in their secluded location. He knew it was wrong. He'd told himself over and over that he'd never touch her that way again. And yet here he was, moments away from kissing her. Well fuck his damn promises, and fuck anyone who tried to stand in his way. He wanted her, and she obviously wanted him.
And when it came to Fox Crane, there was nothing that stood in the way of the things he wanted.
"Kay Bennett!" a shriek of outrage came from across the shore. Kay jumped in surprise, pulling away from Fox. He glanced angrily at the tiny nurse racing toward them. She was flocked on both sides by two large orderlies.
"Don't worry," he said in what he hoped was a calm voice, "everything will be fine. I'll talk it over with the nurse, smooth things out. You have nothing to worry about."
She shook her head quickly, wide eyed from the shock of being caught. "No, no, you don't understand! This is the worse thing that could have possibly happened."
"What do you mean?" he asked, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tight.
She looked him directly in the eyes. "You don't understand."
"You said that already. What don't I understand? Tell me why you're so afraid."
Her arm was seized violently before she could respond, however, and Fox was on his feet before he even knew what was happening. The nurse dragged Kay from the picnic table and began pulling her away. She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes begging him for help, for reassurance that everything would turn out all right.
"Let go of her," he growled. He made a move to stop the nurse, but was immediately blocked off by the orderlies.
"Escort Mr. Crane back to his room once we're inside," the nurse ordered. She released her grip on Kay and shoved her forward. Fox felt his blood boil as he watched the two women make their way into the trees and out of sight. This was unacceptable! No one dared to treat him with such disrespect. It was unheard of! And Kay… the memory of her frightened face when that witch sunk her nails into her arm and yanked her away… it was inexcusable. He'd have that woman's head for treating her like that.
"Please come with us," one of the orderlies instructed. Fox gave the man a piercing look, standing up to his full height so he could look down at him.
"If you ever give me another order, I will have you fired so fast your head will spin." He whirled around to face the other orderly. "The same thing goes for you too Lurch. Do you have any idea who I am? Who my Grandfather is?"
Both men gulped audibly, and Fox felt a jolt of satisfaction run through him. "I thought so."
"Please, Mr. Crane, we have orders that you must-"
"I must do nothing. I'll go back to room, if only to respect the authority of this hospital in front of the other patients. But make no mistake, gentlemen, your authority means nothing when it comes to me and my family."
Fox gave both men a harsh stare before turning around and heading back inside. His quick scan of the floor revealed nothing about Kay's whereabouts. She must be locked inside her room. No doubt that stupid nurse thought she could confine her there for the rest of her stay.
Well, there was no way that Fox was going to let that happen.
"Mr. Crane! What's going on?" Virginia asked when he stormed into his room, slamming the door behind him. "Why are you so angry?"
"Get out," he ordered. He was in no mood to explain himself to anyone.
"But you're-"
"Virginia, my temper has a short fuse today. Do not make me repeat myself."
"Yes Mr. Crane," she acknowledged, well aware of just how insufferable Fox could be when he was angry. She quickly gathered up her cleaning supplies and scurried from the room.
Fox sighed. He flopped down on his bed, breathing heavily as he tried to make himself comfortable. What did Kay mean when she said that this was the worst thing that could have possibly happened? Surely things could always be worse. Unless she knew something that he didn't…
Against his will, visions of Kay being mistreated invaded his mind. They wouldn't lock her up again, would they? She'd told him how hard her first week had been, kept prisoner in her room with no one to keep her company and nothing to keep her entertained. He admired her bravery and stamina for making it through that; he was sure he would have gone mad.
But she'd also been here before… it pained him to remember the scars on her wrists, the way they'd felt so jagged and rough beneath his fingers. He'd wanted desperately to make them disappear. What had driven her to such extremes? Why wouldn't she tell him the reason she was sent here for a second stay? Had she done something else to herself? Something just as horrible? His mind raced with unpleasant possibilities. Perhaps it was something she'd done to someone else. But who? And why?
He shook his head, his stomach sick with worry. Suddenly his problems didn't seem so important. At least Miles was safe. Chad may be a freak, but he loved that baby and would never do anything to harm him. And Whitney… well, maybe she had a good reason for doing what she did. He'd never even tried to see things from her perspective. How could he? Giving away your own child without even consulting its father? It was unthinkable.
And yet Fox found himself contemplating her reasoning. She was keeping a secret, that much was obvious. He didn't know what it was, but it was clear that it was big. Would she ever tell him if he asked? He hadn't even given her a chance to explain. Every time they were in the same room together lately, all he did was scream and shout. No wonder she was afraid to tell him the truth, or tell anyone the truth for that matter. If everyone was judging him the way he was judging Whitney, he didn't think he'd be able to fess up either.
God, why was life so fucked up? He'd been too preoccupied with his own hurt to even spare a thought for Whitney's feelings. Or even Chad's for that matter. It couldn't have been easy for him to learn that the woman he loved was actually his own sister. It was downright troubling, really. No wonder Chad snatched up Miles while he had the chance; he was desperate to hang on to the last thread that connected him to Whitney as anything more than her brother. When he got out of here, he and Whitney were going to have a talk. He would be patient and understanding, and hopefully she'd finally tell him he truth.
But until then, he needed to concentrate on Kay. First thing tomorrow he'd find out what they'd done with her, and what was going to happen. This was all his fault. Why did he have to show her that stupid lake? Why did he have to enjoy spending so much time with her? And why the hell did he care so much about what might happen between them?
Fox grimaced as he rubbed his temple, trying to rid himself of the headache that was now pounding through his skull. He fell into a restless, uneasy sleep. Dreams of Kay being thrown into the lake and drowning assaulted him, and he woke with a start when he realized that he was the one who'd pushed her in.
It was late evening. He'd slept through dinner. His stomach grumbled painfully for food, but he pushed the thought away and forced himself into the hall. Quickly he searched the floor for Kay, but was unable to find any trace of her. The door to her room was locked, orderlies posted outside. This was not good.
Fox waited impatiently for the next three days to see Kay. He'd sat in the game room every morning and waited for her to show up. When she never came, he made inquiries to the nurses, as well as to Dr. Adams. Both told him that they couldn't discuss the current state of other patients, and that Kay's progress was none of his business.
He didn't know what to do. Never in his life had he felt so utterly powerless. He'd promised Kay that everything would be all right, that he'd be able to fix whatever trouble she'd gotten into on account of his careless actions. But he couldn't. He hadn't the resources or the influence. And now he lay awake in the wee hours of the morning, staring at the blackened ceiling above him. He couldn't sleep- hadn't been able to since she'd been taken.
A clicking sound caught his attention. His heart began to race as he watched a figure hurry inside the room.
"How do you lock this thing?" it whispered, fumbling with the doorknob. Fox felt his heart stop.
"Kay?"
She turned to look at him, moonlight illuminating the features of her face so he was able to see her clearly. She smiled. "Yes. I had to see you before-"
"Thank God you're all right!" he exclaimed, rushing over and pulling her into a tight embrace. "I didn't know what happened to you, they wouldn't tell me anything. I'm so sorry… I had no idea how much trouble you'd get into if we were caught."
"It's fine. Fox, listen-"
"No, it's not fine, it's all my fault." He loosened his hold on her reluctantly, his hands cupping her face and forcing her to look up at him. "I was worried about you."
Her breath caught. "You were?"
"Of course. I felt so guilty about everything."
"Oh. Right," she nodded, slowly averting her eyes. She moved away from him and back towards the door. "I can't get this thing to lock. It's too dark."
Fox made his way next to her. "Let me," he said, clicking the lock into place as she moved away.
"This room is amazing," she whispered, examining the contents surrounding her. "This bookcase takes up more space than my bed."
"How did you get here?" he asked her. "How'd you manage to get away from the orderlies guarding your room?"
"That's why I came. I wanted to tell you-"
"No, it doesn't even matter," he smiled, waving his hand as he interrupted her. "I'm just glad you're here."
His heart raced as he saw her take a seat on the bed. When she didn't say anything in response, he went and sat next to her. Why wasn't she looking at him? Had he said something to offend her? His fingers tapped against the mattress anxiously, unsure of what to say. Finally she turned to look at him.
"When I first learned that I was being sent here, I didn't think I'd be able to make it through," she began. "You have no idea what it was like for me the first time around. I was so alone, so scared… so lost. I was so sure that I'd die in here. But I didn't. I made it through somehow, and I vowed that I would never give anyone a reason to send me back."
She shook her head, obviously struggling to find the right words. Fox waited patiently for her to continue.
"Tabitha told me I wouldn't have to stay. She said it was just a precaution, but she lied. I don't know why I even believed her, but I did. The next thing I knew, I was back living at St. Anne's. They locked me up in that stupid room and it was almost more than I could bear. Being away from Maria, not having anywhere to go or anyone to see… it was too hard. I'd almost given up until that day in the game room. I was so happy to be free, you know? Just to be out of my room for a change. It was a nice feeling. But I know now that it wouldn't have lasted.
And that's when you came into the picture. I couldn't believe it when I saw you. I thought for sure I was going crazy," she chuckled softly. "All that time we spent together, all those games we played… you really helped me Fox. Without you here, I don't know what would have happened… what I might have done. It sounds cliché, but you really pulled me through this. I needed you then, and I need you now."
"Kay…" he started, but trailed off. What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to respond to her confession?
She placed her finger gently against his lips, a gesture for silence. He was slightly taken aback by the determination shining brightly in her eyes. "Don't say anything," she whispered. Though he couldn't see her face, he could feel her gaze on him, searing his skin and setting him on fire. "I need you Fox. I need to be with you…"
It was more than he could bear. Before he could stop himself, he pushed her hand away and kissed her hard, crushing her against the bed. Her breath was hot against his skin as he fumbled gracelessly with the ties to the back of her dressing gown.
"Fox," she breathed heavily in the darkness, running her hands over his back and yanking his shirt over his head.
This was it. This was what he wanted ever since the first day he'd seen her here. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, and he felt himself losing any control he had left. She would be his tonight, and there was no one to prevent him from taking what he wanted- what he needed.
"Stop." Her voice splashed over him like a bucket of cold water. He broke contact and pulled his face away.
"What?" His tone was angry, his breathing ragged even to his own ears. "Why?"
"Because I asked you to."
Disappointment ate away at his insides, his brain struggling to comprehend the idea that there would be no release this night. She didn't want it. She didn't want him.
But he couldn't force himself to pull away from her. He had to know. "I thought you wanted-"
"I do," she said simply.
His brain was spinning. "Then why-"
"I just needed to know that you would stop if I asked you to. And you did."
Fox didn't know what so say, so he said nothing. His mind was foggy with want, his body barely able to control itself in her presence. The anger that had overwhelmed him moments earlier melted away. Kay was here, in his bed, at his mercy. He felt himself driven by his desire, taking from her what he needed, and yet making sure that she was pleasured as well.
Later on, when they were both finally sated, Fox found himself drifting off into a most welcome sleep. He held Kay tight in his arms, unwilling to release her for fear that she might be caught and punished again.
"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly.
"That I can't remember the last time I've ever been this satisfied."
"Neither can I. This is exactly what I needed," she yawned, burying her face against his arm.
"What was it you were going to tell me earlier? The reason you came to see me?"
There was a long pause before she finally answered. "It's nothing important. I just needed to be with you."
Fox smiled, inhaling the scent of her hair. He was glad that Kay had risked being caught just to be with him. It gave him a surge of pride that he didn't quite understand, though he was deliriously happy to have it. Sleep tugged at him relentlessly. He wasn't lying when he told her that he couldn't remember the last time he'd ever felt this happy, this satisfied. Distantly he knew that this was wrong for some reason, that they might get caught if she stayed here. But by whom he couldn't think, and for what reason he couldn't remember. All he knew was that it just felt so right….
Fox awoke late the next morning to find himself alone in bed. Did last night really happen? Or was it just some elaborate fantasy his mind had dreamed up to help him relax? Memories of Kay and the time they shared together quickly erased his doubts. There was no way it was a dream. She must have left sometime in the night so that they wouldn't get caught together.
He groaned happily as he stretched his legs and hopped out of bed. Once dressed, he hastily brushed his hair and tried to make himself look presentable. He needed to find Kay and tell her just how much he loved spending time with her, how much last night had meant to him. He was pretty sure she had no idea just how much he'd needed the gift she'd given him. Quickly he strode from the room, whistling merrily as he made his way down the hall and across the floor.
When he finally arrived, he was surprised to find the door wide open, no orderlies in sight. Curious, he stepped inside. A young nurse was humming to herself as she cleaned the room.
"Where's Kay?"
"Oh!" she exclaimed, jumping around to face him. "You frightened me."
"Sorry. Do you know where Kay Bennett is? The girl whose room this is? I didn't see her anywhere on my way over."
The nurse gave him a peculiar look, as if he was missing something incredibly obvious.
"Well?" he prodded. "Where is she?"
"Discharged," she replied simply, returning to the bed and stripping the sheets off.
Fox felt his heart drop into his stomach. He staggered backward as if someone had shoved him. Discharged. She was gone. His mind whirled about, trying to understand how this was possible.
So that's what she was trying to tell him when she came to his room last night. That's why she wanted to see him- to say goodbye. He felt sick. Somehow he managed to stumble back to his room, locking the door behind him. He collapsed onto the bed, unsure of how much longer his wobbly legs would have supported him.
No wonder she was able to sneak out so easily. Why bother guarding someone who's about to be released? He sat in shock, unsure of how to feel or what to think. He didn't understand why Kay would let him find out this way. After all the time they'd spent together, everything they'd shared between them… and now she was gone.
Fox felt like a fool. His grandfather, and his father for that matter, had always told him never to let a woman into his heart. He should have listened. Kay knew things about him now that no one else did; his thoughts, his feelings, his experiences. It wasn't fair.
First Whitney, and now Kay. He stayed in his room for the rest of the day, vowing inwardly that he would never let another woman hurt him again.
Three Months Later…
Fox grunted inelegantly as he rolled off of his bedmate and onto his back. His breathing was rough and uneven, his body extremely unsatisfied. It was never enough these days. No matter how hard he tried or what extremes he went to, there was nothing he could do to make himself feel truly content. Something inside of him felt hollow, but he refused to examine it more thoroughly. He was afraid of what he might find.
Next to him, Karla pressed herself against his back and began tracing her fingers gently along his arm. "That was amazing," she purred. "I've never had anything like it. Why did we wait so long to try this?"
Fox grabbed her hand and shoved her away. "Get out."
"What?"
"I said get out. What part of that don't you understand?"
She shook her head, bewildered. "Why?"
"Because I want to be alone, that's why! Get the fuck out of here before I have Crane security haul your ass out!"
Karla stepped out of the bed and dressed herself as quickly as she could. Fox hadn't even bothered to turn around and look at her. "You asshole! What the hell is wrong with you? Just because you're a Crane doesn't mean you can treat people like garbage. You're not as high and mighty as you think you are."
He smirked. "So I've been told. Be sure to take the back stairs. I don't anyone knowing you were here."
She shot him a dirty look as she buttoned up her long coat and grabbed her purse from a nearby chair. "Jerk. Don't ever call me again."
"Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it." His words were cut off by the sound of the door slamming shut. Certain that he was finally rid of her, Fox turned onto his back and stared up at the ancient crown molding that surrounded his ceiling.
What was the matter with him? He'd never disrespected as many women as he had in these past few months, using them for their bodies and then getting angry once he found that they were never enough. Why did he keep doing this to them? Why did he keep doing this to himself?
You know why, the tiny, annoying voice in the back of his mind taunted him. Fox scowled at the thought. No, he refused to think about it. If anything should be blamed as the cause for his crumbling life, its name was Whitney Russell. His stomach twisted painfully just to think about it.
Miles. The son that never was. He'd confronted her when he finally had the chance, demanding to know the truth once and for all. His well thought out plan for a nice long chat had flown out the window with any sanity he'd once possessed, and he was surprised by some of the thoughts that came into his head. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to make her pay for causing him so much heartache, so many months of questioning his own character.
That bitch. She was the reason he was acting this way. It was her fault that all of this had happened. He vowed to make her pay for the way she treated him. One of these days she'd get what was coming to her- he'd make sure of that.
"Damn you Whitney. How could you do this to me? I loved you," his whisper echoed in the darkness, unanswered just like all the other questions he had. He forced himself to close his eyes, willing sleep to take him away. It never came.
Why do you keep denying it? the voice hounded him. You'll never be happy until you know the truth. Whitney isn't what's really bothering you. Stop hiding. Grow up and face it like a man. She left you. She didn't trust you enough to tell you the truth. There was never anything special between you; it was all in your head.
Kay. His heart ached horribly every time he thought about her. He tried to force her from his mind, tried to forget everything they shared. But he just couldn't do it. He'd never realized how much she'd saved him until he'd been released.
No matter what he said or did, the real truth was that Fox Crane didn't need much to get by. For years he lived off of luck, surviving on his instincts, not his trustfund. True, he liked to put on a good show of demanding this and that from the servants, but in reality, he didn't need anything they gave him. He didn't need a lot. But he needed her.
He sat up, weary of the direction his thoughts were heading. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a sweater from his closet, Fox bundled up and left his room. He headed down the stairs and made a beeline for the front door. A walk would do him good, he decided. Fresh air always made him feel better.
"Where are you headed off to?"
Fox looked over to see Ethan sitting on the couch, paperwork littering the large table in front of him. "I'm going for a walk."
Ethan frowned, checking his watch. "Why so late? It's already after ten."
"I need to clear my head," he replied, making his way into the living room. "What about you? Shouldn't you be upstairs with Gwen instead of down here doing your homework?"
"It's not homework Fox," he chuckled. "And as a matter of fact, this is all for Gwen."
"Really? What is it?"
Ethan hesitated. "It's court papers. We're going to try for full custody of Jane."
"What? You can't do that, Theresa loves that kid!"
"I know that Fox… we just think it best that-"
"No, what you mean to say is that Gwen thinks it's best."
There was a long moment of silence between them, and Fox didn't need a verbal confirmation from his half brother to know that what he'd spoken was the truth. "Get a grip Ethan. Life's too short to waste your time on meaningless squabbles like this. It's not right to take away a person that someone loves. It's not right for them to disguise their true feelings and hide away, hoping that things are going to work themselves out. It doesn't happen like that. We have to make them happen, don't you see?"
"What are we talking about here Fox… Jane and Theresa? Theresa and… me? Or is this something more? Something else?"
When he got no reply, Ethan pressed on.
"Did something happen to you? You've been really distant these last couple of months- since you returned from your stay, that is."
Fox smiled at Ethan's terminology. No one had been willing to discuss his time at St. Anne's, and he wasn't about to start opening up now. "Forget it. I need to get out of here. Do what you want, I have enough problems to deal with."
He turned around and left the living room, exiting the mansion through the front door. The night air was unseasonably warm, and large snowflakes fell lightly from the sky. With no clear destination in mind, Fox let his feet take control. Before he knew it, he'd spent over twenty minutes walking the grounds and even more time wandering the streets of Harmony. He halted to a stop in front of the Book Café. The lights were on and business was booming. It took him a moment to remember that Christmas hours were still in effect.
His body had suddenly gone numb. Cold shivers ran along his skin, giving him goose bumps. Without thinking, he trudged inside and navigated his way through the crowd toward the counter.
"Just give me the biggest hot chocolate you have," he instructed the cashier, handing over his money in a hurry. Once she'd given him his change, he waited impatiently for her to make his order. He stood with his back against the counter, looking around the room to keep his mind occupied.
And that's when he saw them. She was here, less than twenty feet away!But she wasn't alone. Nestled in one of the far corners of the Café, Kay sat happily, bouncing her daughter Maria up and down on her lap. Beside her was a dark haired man that Fox could only assume was the infamous Miguel he'd heard so much about.
His breathing grew shallow and he felt his heart begin to race. This was the first time he'd seen her since that night. This was the first time he'd even been in town since he'd gotten back, he realized with a start. She looks so happy and normal, he thought. Almost as if all that time we spent together never even happened. His gaze was locked. He couldn't tear his eyes away.
He watched, frozen with horror at the scene before him. She'd moved on without him, while he stayed locked up in the mansion, pining for something he could never have. She'd stopped bouncing her daughter abruptly, her body becoming eerily still. Her face turned sharply toward him, eyes widening with shock as she became aware of his presence. It was almost as if she'd sensed him watching her.
Their eyes met, and in that instant, he knew. He wasn't sure how… he just knew. She hadn't forgotten him. She hadn't forgotten what they'd shared, and what it meant. He could see it in her eyes. Those rich, warm pools of hazel would be seared into his memory for as long as he lived.
A calming sense of warmth seemed to surround him, and he knew from the expression on her face that they had suddenly come to a mutual understanding. They were in the real world now. Things couldn't be like they were back inside St. Anne's. But she hadn't forgotten. Their time together had meant something to her too, and she wanted him to know that those memories would always be there; secret and wonderful, but alive. She wouldn't let them die and become forgotten, just as he wouldn't
In a place that was designed to break spirits, Fox found it amazing to realize that it had actually strengthened his. And now he knew that it had been the same way for Kay as well.
"Your hot chocolate, sir," the girl behind the counter tapped his shoulder lightly. He turned to face her, unable to hide the growing smile on his face.
"Thank you," he said. He lifted the warm cardboard cup into his hand and headed outside. The world had suddenly become a brighter place. He smiled once again, letting his feet lead the way back home.
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