Uninspired Voyages
A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Para creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
In the Voyager shuttle bay, Shepherd was shooting the shit with B'Elanna and Tom while the latter two were working on a shuttle. At some point, Tom raised his head from the console he was working on with an incredulous look on his face.
"Wait wait wait, you've been a Temporal Operative?"
Shepherd huffed.
"It's not like they give you a choice! Basically, some asshole in a timeship will pop up, open the hatch, tell you 'Get in bitch, we're doing time shit', and you're off! You're basically drafted."
B'Elanna snorted. Tom crossed his arms over his chest, raising a pale eyebrow in disbelief.
"Look, I know we've met a Temporal Agent before-"
"Who tried to murder us," B'Elanna added. Tom continued.
"But it's still hard to accept that-"
A trapezoidal vessel appeared out of nowhere on the deck nearby, making Tom and B'Elanna jump. Shepherd sighed, rolling his eyes.
"Here we go..."
The hatch opens, and a young man with thinning brown hair wearing a strange black jumpsuit stuck his head out. He locked his eyes on Shepherd, beaming like the sun.
"Get in bitch, we're doing time shit!" The man cried. B'Elanna gaped. Tom tried to smother a small laugh of incredulity, as though unsure how to react.
Shepherd rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.
"Daniels?! Again?! What is it this time?! And don't say Procyon V!"
Daniels shrugged, wearing a wry smile.
"Okay... I won't."
"MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A TRIBBLE!" Shepherd cursed. He groaned, and with a resigned look on his face, he handed his toolkit over to the shocked Tom and B'Elanna. "Ugh, fine. Hang on guys, Bee Arr Bee."
Shepherd goes into the timeship, the hatch closes. It vanishes... And then reappears, covered in carbon scoring. Shepherd emerges, wearing a five o'clock shadow. He was dressed in futuristic Starfleet gear with a festive sombrero atop his head, and Electric Nightmare on his back. He staggered over, holding a bottle of Saurian brandy in each hand.
"Yo..." Shepherd slurred, as the timship vanished behind him. B'Elanna's jaw was nearly on the deck. Tom cleared his throat.
"Hey… So… What just happened?"
Shepherd shook his head as he bobbed and weaved, like he was avoiding invisible obstacles.
"Spoilers," Shepherd mumbled, "by the way, your daughter says hi."
B'Elanna managed to get her mouth working again.
"Who's daughter-?"
Shepherd looked between them.
"Yes. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta lay down for a while."
He staggered to the door, and made his way to the turbolift. B'Elanna and Tom looked at each other.
"... You want to tell the captain, or should I?" Tom asked.
Five minutes later, Janeway emerged from her ready room. Her eyes widened in disbelief: Shepherd was sleeping in her command chair, dressed ridiculously, holding bottles of booze. Chakotay was standing over him, and looked over at the captain as she joined him on the command deck.
"He just showed up, collapsed in the chair, and started snoring," Chakotay said, shaking his head in disbelief. Janeway grabbed Shepherd's shoulder, and shook him awake.
"... Lieutenant?"
Shepherd groaned, and looked up at the captain with bleary eyes.
"Captain," he mumbled. Janeway put her hands on her hips and glared.
"I'd like an explanation, Lieutenant," Janeway stated, her tone hard as a diamond. Shepherd sighed heavily.
"Temporal Operations," he explained. Janeway raised one eyebrow. Her anger was replaced by a brief moment of confusion, then exasperated understanding.
"... Was it Daniels?" She asked, now sounding more sympathetic.
Shepherd sighed and nodded to her.
"Isn't it always?" He asked.
Janeway sighed, and nodded.
"Go sleep it off in your quarters."
"Yes ma'am, thank you ma'am," Shepherd said gratefully. He rose, and turned to leave, but Janeway put a hand on his chest to stop him. She took one of his bottles of Saurian brandy for herself. He shrugged, then staggered off to the turbolift. As soon as he stumbled in there, and the doors closed, Janeway turned and sat down in her chair.
The rest of the bridge crew stared at her in utter silence. Chakotay was the first to break it, looking concerned.
"... Kathryn...?"
"Don't ask," Janeway said, as she worked on the cork, "just don't ask."
She finally pops the cork, and began drinking the bottle, straight up. Chakotay blinked, then sat in his chair alongside her. The rest of the bridge crew went back to what they were doing.
"... Okay then," he managed.
A few moments later, a portal opens onto the bridge. Daniels popped his head out, looking just as cheerful as before.
"Get in, bitch! We're doing time shit!"
"Wha...?" Harren at the science station tried, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head.
Janeway killed the bottle, and slammed it down onto her armrest. She glared blearily at Daniels as Chakotay tried to get his jaw working. Harry made to speak, but just couldn't find the words.
"Knew I was overdue," Janeway groaned, "what is it this time?"
"We have to go to the year 2000 and stop our previous selves from interfering in your ancestors from meeting in Portgage Creek, Indiana!" Daniel said, holding up a jacket and a bottle, "quick, put on this coat and apply this hair dye!"
Janeway stood up, walked over to Daniels, and whacked the bottle over his head. He winced, and whimpered, as Janeway glared at him.
"Owwww! What was that for?!" Daniels whined.
"This is the fifth time you've sent me to interfere with Great Grandmama Shannon's career as an astronaut! Pick whether you want me to exist or not, because I'm getting tired of using knockout hyposprays on my own family!"
She pulled on the coat, and applied the hairdye.
"Chakotay? You have the bridge," she ordered, stepping through the portal with the wincing Daniels. Chakotay stared after them.
"Yes ma'am," he managed, as the portal closed. He sighed and rubbed his face.
"Of course, they didn't leave any alcohol for us…"
Fun one shot to let us decompress from that last story arc. More on the way!