Cold as Fire

Disclaimer: Don't own it. That would be funny if I did though, wouldn't it?

Jessie: Uh…if you owned Shaman King then there would be no ending 'cause you'd be too lazy to make one.

Joh: True enough.

Jessie: Yep.

Joh: about time I update this one, right? Hope I can get back into the style of this story. It's a little different then my usual way of writing.

Warnings: twincest, yaoi (well no duh)

0o0o0o0

A content feeling washed over me as I leaned into my brother, watching the sunset. A million colors splashed across the sky, bathing the usually white clouds in gold and red. Beautiful.

I smiled as my legs swung back and forth. My perch in the tree was kind of uncomfortable but I shrugged it off as I gazed into the sky.

Hao laced his fingers through my own, not speaking. Normally I would have pulled away but this time I allowed it since it felt…it just…felt right. Sitting here with Hao in a tree watching the sunset. It felt so normal…so satisfying.

A sigh left my lips as the sky eventually darkened around us, revealing the specks of lights we call stars. How long had I been sitting here? My body ached from the rough surface of the branch but I didn't fidget about. I was afraid that if I did the spell would be broken.

Carefully I slid my gaze away from the stars to study Hao. His face was tilted upwards, features lit up by the moonlight. My mouth grew dry as I stared at him, once again amazed at how much we looked alike.

His expression was serene for once. I mean he always had a sense of calm around him but this was different. A faint smile was set on his lips, adding to the content expression.

His long hair spilled down his back, shining almost silver in the night. I could see the stars reflected clearly in his dark eyes and a pang shot through me at the beauty of this.

Hao blinked and glanced at me thoughtfully. I flushed, hoping he hadn't heard my thoughts.

If he did he said nothing about it. "I've always wanted to look at the stars with you." He told me this softly, almost whispering.

I didn't know how to respond to that. What was I supposed to say?

"And now I finally…" he trailed off and squeezed my hand tight.

I frowned slightly. He sounded so happy, like he thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.

I ventured a daring question. One that I'm pretty sure I've asked him before. "When can I go home?"

Hao paused, his smile vanishing. After a moment he answered me, choosing his words carefully. "This is your home now." He stared at me, his face expressionless.

I sucked my teeth and looked away, feeling a bitterness rise in me. Already I felt myself missing the peaceful moment when neither of us spoke. My awe was soon replaced with frustration as I yanked my hand out of his.

"No it's not." I bit out.

What I said seemed to annoy him for his lips drew together in a thin line. He grabbed my hand again, so tightly that it hurt. I winced and bit my lip but looked him in the eye all the same.

"Your home is with me." He snarled. Suddenly he was transformed before my very eyes. He was no longer the brother I had been staring at, struck by his beauty; he was a demon baring his teeth at me.

I didn't really have any room to run away, seeing as how I was sitting on a branch. I was afraid of losing my balance and falling but more afraid of remaining in Hao's hard grasp.

"Hao…" I wanted him to understand me. "I want to have freedom." My eyes searched his desperately.

He narrowed those very eyes at me. Suddenly he seemed sad, still angry, but sad at the same time.

I pressed steadily onwards. Maybe…maybe my words were reaching him! "I want to be with my friends."

"Shut up!" he hissed, striking me across the face with such force that I was flung from the tree. I landed on the ground with a loud thump, my body skidding in the dirt and snow a couple feet.

I lay there for a long moment, my face stinging from the blow and my body screaming at the impact it took. I groaned and cracked open my eyes to see Hao standing above me with a calm face.

It hurt so much.

Taking deep breaths I forced myself to sit up, trying my best to bite down the whimpers in my throat.

He was kneeling down beside me looking amused at my pain.

His hand crept its way across my throat, caressing the skin before tightening around it. I gasped for breath as he pushed me down, cutting off my air. "You have no idea how patient I am." He growled softly, leaning closer to me. "You know nothing about me. I waited to be with you for years."

Tears leaked from my eyes as I struggled to take in short gulps of air. I could see bright dots scattering across my vision as I stared at my twin. He grinded his hand harder into my throat as anger leaked out from behind his mask.

"You don't know what it's like to be alone." He accused me softly.

That's not true. I know…what it's like. I tried to tell him so but I couldn't speak. With trembling hands I reached up to touch his arm in an attempt to get him to release me. I needed air. Now.

"I'm not going to let them take you away from me." His anger seemed to melt as he let go of me. I gasped and took quick greedy breaths of air.

My hand rubbed my abused neck gingerly, feeling the bruised skin. My vision blurred as I tried to focus on Hao, wondering faintly what else he would dish out to me. But his anger seemed to have subsided for now, for he gently scooped me up in his arms.

Honestly, I didn't have the energy to protest or struggle so I let him cradle me against his chest, enjoying the warmth his body gave me. It was making me sleepy…

Slowly my eyes blinked closed. I tried to stay awake but I found myself fighting in vain. I snuggled closer to the source of heat and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

0o0

As I came to I found myself staring at a now very familiar high stone ceiling. The same one I had first seen when Hao had 'kidnapped' me. I closed my eyes again, knowing by the cold atmosphere that Hao had left me by myself for the night.

Shivering, I pulled the blankets up around me. As I buried my head in the pillows (which smelled faintly like Hao) I couldn't help but wish Hao was here. I hated to admit it, but Hao's arms were much more comfortable then this bed.

I sighed as I thought back to what had happened earlier, before I fell asleep. Hao's moods were really…unpredictable. I had to be more careful around him or I just might end up with a broken neck.

"I waited to be with you for years."

He had mentioned something of the sort when I first arrived. Had he been alone for all these years? Knowing of my existence but unable to approach it?

A frown marred my features as I thought over this. Why hadn't he tried to confront me sooner if he was that lonely? If he wanted to see me so badly he could have! What stopped him?

As these questions swirled around my head unanswered I decided it best to shrug them off, at least for now. I was getting no were and stressing myself out wasn't helping. So I pushed these thoughts to the back of my mind as I settled into a half asleep state.

Before I could fall fully unconscious the door opened and warmth flooded into the room. My eyes opened reluctantly as I heard the door close again. As the soft pad of barely heard footsteps approached the bed I turned over pretending to be deeply asleep.

I heard Hao chuckle softly as a hand ghosted over my cheek. "Yoh, I know you're awake."

I didn't move for a moment before giving up on the act and turning to face him. As I stared at him I realized I didn't know what to say. The silence was making me uneasy and I began to fidget under Hao's searing gaze. I found myself praying that he would soon say something, anything.

"Aren't you angry?" he finally asked me. The question caught me off guard and I found myself stammering for a response.

"W-what? Angry? At you?"

He looked me over calmly, almost thoughtfully. "I hurt you. Are you angry?"

I frowned, unsure of the answer to that. It was hard for me to analyze my feelings when it came to Hao. And to be able to put them into words was even harder.

"I…don't think so…I…I guess I'm scared…" I admitted awkwardly, averting my gaze from his.

Hao sat down on the bed, his face blank. "I see."

I bit my lip and stared down at my hands, wishing that I could be sleeping right now. I closed my eyes and imagined myself back at home, sleeping in my regular blue futon in the middle of my room. I would be listening to music to drown out the pestering ring of my alarm clock, alerting me of my early training schedule.

"Are you angry at them?"

I blinked and glanced at my brother curiously. "Them?" I repeated questioningly. He had hissed that word out, showing that whomever he was referring to he didn't have much affection for.

"The Asakuras." His eyes flashed as he studied me carefully. "They lied to you. They never told you about me. They even planned on killing you along with me just to be safe."

My breath caught in my throat as I considered his words. Was that true? I could hear myself answering his question. "I guess I'm…I dunno…a little disappointed that they didn't tell me I had a brother…" I would have shrugged but my back hurt too much.

He actually looked surprised. "You're not angry though?"

"Maybe a little," I blinked at him. "Should I be?"

His eyes narrowed as fury made itself evident in his expression. "Think about it, Yoh! If it weren't for them we could have grown up together!"

I searched the wrinkles in the sheets for an appropriate response to that. I could find none, instead imagining what that would have been like.

If I had grown up with Hao as a brother. What would have happened? What could have happened?

"Why? Why did they want to kill you? Why were we separated?" questions flew free from my lips as I gazed into Hao's dark eyes.

Hao seemed to think for a moment, tracing my bottom lip gently with his fingers. "They thought…I might…lead you in the wrong direction."

"What?"

Hao simply smiled and refused to explain further. I glared at him, wondering why he wanted to keep it secret. I had a right to know just exactly who my twin was and why that affected me. I needed to know!

So many things have been kept a secret from me, and I wanted the answers.

But Hao ignored my persistent questions, finding ways to turn them around.

"Why won't you tell me anything!" I growled, glaring.

He smirked gently pushed me back down into the bed. "You should rest."

"I don't wanna rest!" I answered stubbornly, attempting to sit back up. But he pushed me down again, slightly harder so that pain jabbed me in the back.

I sighed and closed my mouth, not wanting to put him in a bad mood again. He smiled at me and slipped into the covers beside me, encircling my waist with his arms.

And that's how I fell asleep, pulled tightly against Hao's body in a possessive hug.

0o0o0o0

Joh: I think that turned out okay.

Jessie: You're getting so much writing done!

Joh: I have nothing better to do but write.

Jessie: I see.

Joh: Hao sure does have nasty mood swings.

Jessie: Indeed.

Thank you to all those who reviewed! I'm to lazy to answer all of you today but thanks!

Review please!

-Joh