1Story Five: Vito'd Law
Forte sighed, and grumbled, as he trudged along from his room to a shower room, blonde hair all frizzled, and still groggy.
"I've got to talk to CD about his choice of linoleum for a floor..."
The reason being, Forte, being part dragon, not only saw no need for shoes, but he also couldn't wear them anyway. Not even slippers. His claws would just shred even custom ones. Custom SHIRTS, however, were manageable for his wings, and he was wearing one.
"Now let's hope there's hot water left, or anyone getting a shower after me's gonna get boiling water..."
As Forte came to an intersection, he stopped, and went wide-eyed, as he heard an engine coming his way. As physically masterful as he is, a groggy dragon's no more athletic or adept at evasion than a groggy human. So when he turned and saw nothing less than Beavis and Butthead bearing down on him in a golf cart, his only reaction?
"SHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"
WHUMP!
"Heeheehee! 30 points!"
Forte lay in the middle of the floor, crumpled up a bit, tail and left wing twitching, tongue hanging out. This displayed on someone's laptop, and they laughed maniacally at it. He was your everyman sort of guy, dressed casually, but clean shaven. The crazed look in his eyes, however, spoke otherwise.
"YES! That was PRICELESS! But he's not my new target."
He typed some, looking through different people in the studio. There was a type in the lower right of the screen, which read "H.A.T.E." The acronym wasn't shorted, though, and the whole thing said "Hexers Anonymous Tormenting Everyone".
"Nope. Nuh-uh. Eewwwww...no...not likely...AHAHAHA! HIM! HE'S MY NEW DUMMY TO PRACTICE ON!"
On the screen, was a currently restless Vito.
Divide
The reason for Vito's restlessness, even in a place a lot cleaner and more high class than his old place, was...well, it was too strange for him. Video games come to life? Solid Snake sneaking around? Spike Spiegal hunting Vash the Stampede and Lupin the Third? BASS KICKING MEGA MAN'S BUTT DAILY! Well, okay, so that last one was expected. Even though Bass constantly was heavy-handed in it. Like the time he shut Mega Man inside a soda machine.
"This place has gone batty!"
His unseen, and newly self-declared tormentor couldn't resist, and with a few deft keystrokes, countless bats appeared on the ceiling of Vito's room. Vito went silent, stared, then screamed and fled as the bats swarmed after him. The tormentor fell out of his chair laughing.
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Vito was, at this point, in the Café, shaken from this morning's bat barrage, and trying to get breakfast to relax.
"Someone must have put those bats there as a prank...If I find them, I...wait...I'm not very threatening right now, am I? Wonder if I can change that here..."
Vito looked around at the others. He had no idea which, if any, of those present did this to him, or how he'd deal with them once he found out who. He sighed, head resting on his hands. At that time, a Mettaur was pushing out a cart of pies for people's desserts. Once again, Vito's tormentor couldn't resist, and made the pies magically fly up and zoom at Vito. Vito yelped, before being clobbered by a mess of pie...
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"I can't believe pies would just FLY at me! Gah!"
Vito just came out of the shower for the second today, the first being for after getting up, the latter to wash the custard and rhubarb out of his hair.
"This is just stupid. There's no WAY this is JUST bad luck. Someone's gotta be behind it. This place is too weird to NOT have someone causing it."
He was heading down a hall now, trying to sort out what happened. That was when he head an engine, and turned in time to, like Forte, get run down by Beavis and Butthead, leaving a nice, neat, but dirty tire skid across his face and body.
"Another 5 points for the butt muncher!"
Vito could only growl in anger, as he went back to the shower..
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After his third shower for the day, Vito was out for blood. He stormed down the halls, just looking for anyone he thought could REMOTELY be responsible for what had been happening. He wanted it to stop, before he was six feet under.
"Where's the rat that's doing this?"
His tormentor again called to his words, as Vito heard a low rumble. He sighed, facepalmed, and muttered.
"Why did I have to say 'rat'?"
As he expected, Vito was caught in a stampede of rats, being herded by Garfield, riding on Odie's back, and wearing a cowboy hat. When the stampede ended, Vito groaned, and got up, but this time, he didn't go to the showers...
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"You want me to WHAT?"
Lucca was staring at Vito oddly. He'd come here, for help on warding off the bad luck, or at least with getting payback on who was causing it. When he saw the pies literally fly at him, he knew it couldn't be normal bad luck. However, when he asked about a large machine in the back, he got an idea...
"You heard me. That Genetic...Splicer...Thing. I want to be something else. I want to at LEAST be able to clobber who's doing this. Besides, you can change me back, right?"
"Well, yes, but I don't think-"
That was all Vito needed to hear now, as he ran inside the splicer immediately, and began fiddling around with the controls. While they allowed for practically complete control of the results, the sheer amount of options made Vito dizzy, so he hit things at random, with an attraction to Pokemon stuff, since he KNEW what that was. He grinned when he heard it boot up, until Lucca brought some reason into his head.
"YOU SHOULDN'T USE THIS THING IF YOU'RE HAVING THAT KIND OF LUCK!"
Vito's grin left, and he facepalmed, when realization hit him at how stupid it was to be in a genetic splicer when you're hexed.
"D'OH!"
That was about when he was zapped hard, and screamed.
"YEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!"
Lucca yelped, and jumped back as the machine began to short out and malfunction. The fact the thing was causing pain was proof of that.
"Ah no! I'm getting help!" Lucca yelped, before she ran off.
Vito yelled as the power kept surging on, and yelped, falling over as the thing stopped, smoke pouring out, and the door opened. Forte and Lucca ran back in, and that was when Forte finally got to their unseen foe.
"Whoa! Geez! We ought to call this kind of bad luck Vito's Law."
That got the giggling goof mad. Mad enough to type and warp himself in front of them all.
"NO NO NO! IT'S 'MY' LAW! I'M THE BAD LUCK GUY! IT'S ME! I'M MURPHY, NOT HIM! IT'S MURPHY'S LAW!"
Forte only blinked, as Lucca sweatdropped.
"Wait, your name is Murphy...and you're the one causing bad luck?"
"YES!" The guy exclaimed.
Forte facepalmed when the irony hit him, before glaring at Murphy.
"So YOU'RE the one who caused that accident this morning!"
"YES! ...SHIT!" Murphy said, when he finally realized how stupid it was to admit to the crimes when his victims could get him.
It was too little, too late, as Forte pounced him, bringing him down, and knocking the laptop out of his hands. Lucca winced as Forte proceeded to slam Murphy into stuff, mauling him. Vito staggered out of the smoke, dizzy, and watched.
"Awww, no fair, I wanted to bite him too."
Lucca looked to Vito, and shrieked, fleeing. Vito had become some sort of human-like Seviper/Arbok mix, with colors closer to the Seviper. Forte looked too, blinked, then threw Murphy to him, who the now much more physically able Vito caught easily.
"Thanks."
CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMP...CHOMP!
"BLARGLE!"
Vito and Forte sweatdropped.
"Did he just say what I think he said?" Forte asked.
"I believe he did..." Vito responded, then grinned, "Guess it means I didn't bite him enough."
Murphy could only shriek...
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Lucca was reviewing the damages to the splicer, as CD, Vito, and Forte waited for a report. Vito was currently exploring the use of his new body, including "safe" control of his blade tipped tail.
"I could get to like this."
"You'll have to." Lucca told him.
"Wait, what?"
"Splicer's a write-off. It'd take weeks to repair enough to work, AND it'd have lost it's data keeping track of your initial DNA pattern. You're never going to be 'You' again."
Vito's tongue flickered, and his right eye twitched. CD snuck out of the lab while the news still had him stunned...
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"