Uninspired Voyages
A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Para creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
Another script write up for...
"The Q and the Grey"
Q had shown up on Voyager again, though apparently he was limiting himself to just tormenting Janeway. Shepherd was called in, as Chief of Security, to be briefed on the situation.
Shepherd: "So, do you know what Q wants, Captain?"
Janeway: "He's... Made it clear, yes."
Shepherd: "All right. What is it?"
Janeway: "... This doesn't leave this room."
Shepherd: "Yes ma'am, you can count on my discretion."
Janeway: "I mean it."
Shepherd: "Ma'am, I am a professional where it counts. You tell me to keep a secret, I will not reveal it."
Janeway: "... He wants to mate with me."
Shepherd: "... I... See. Excuse me for a moment, Captain."
Shepherd goes into the hallway between the ready room and the conference room... Lets the doors slide shut.
Shepherd: "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OH-OHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
Shepherd returns, after getting himself under control.
Shepherd: "... He's not joking, right?"
Janeway: "He... May be? I don't know."
Shepherd: "I understand Captain."
Janeway: "..." glares "This isn't funny!"
Shepherd: "I didn't say anything implying it was."
Janeway: "You went out there to laugh, didn't you?"
Shepherd: "No, no! ... Well maybe. A little."
Janeway: GLARE
Shepherd: "I am sorry Captain. It's a bit like... The Romulan Empress being wooed by a Tellarite mining captain. Involves a lot of chaos and violence and sounds like a bar tale. Q wanting to run off with you is a tad... Okay, amazingly ridiculous. Even for us."
Janeway: "Didn't that actually happen with one Romulan Empress?"
Shepherd: "So, hey, proof it might work out?"
Janeway: glare "Lieutenant."
Shepherd: "Sorry Captain."
Later, Q appears in Shepherd's quarters. Shepherd is reading a manga while hanging from the ceiling upside-down.
Q: "Exercising?"
Shepherd: "Helps my back. What's up?"
Q: "You did give me some good advice once."
Shepherd: "And now you want advice on...?"
Q: "How to romance your captain?"
Shepherd: "... Okay seriously. Are you doing this for a bet?"
Q: "Why would you think that?"
Shepherd: "Dude, you're acting really weird. What happened to judging humanity? Or the Federation? Or carrying out the Q Continuum's will? This seems kind of... Beneath you. Besides, Janeway's like... Dude." shakes his head
Q: "What's wrong with her? I could have chosen any other being in the universe for my mate-"
Shepherd: "And you chose her? Seriously?"
Q: "That's not a sterling recommendation of your captain."
Shepherd: "She's my captain, and I respect her. I also think you can do a lot better. I mean, in general. This just seems stupid. If she's not putting out, why not move on? You've got a whole universe, right?"
Q: "Well... I mean... She's a human-"
Shepherd: "What happened to Amanda Rogers? I mean, she's a Q raised by humans."
Q: "Er... She died."
Shepherd: "She's a Q, how does that happen?"
Q: "Uh, gotta go!"
Q teleports out.
Shepherd: sighs "Okay, that's... Weird and deeply concerning." turns the page "I really hope it doesn't turn out badly... For us."
So, Voyager gets caught up in a supernova. The Captain and Regular Q vanish, while Suzy Q (Q's mate) is left behind and powerless.
Suzy Q: "Let go of me, or I'll throw this ship into the center of a black hole!"
Shepherd: "Unlikely. You're bleeding, after all. Harry?"
Harry: scans her "She's... Human!"
Chakotay: "Where's the Captain, and the other Q?"
Suzy Q: "Hmph! How should I know?"
Shepherd: "You should figure it out fast, or else."
Suzy Q: "Or else what?"
Chakotay: "I'll shove you into stasis and dump you in the back of a cargo bay to be forgotten."
Suzy Q: eyes widen "You wouldn't! You're Starfleet!"
Chakotay: "And I'm also Maquis. Mister Shepherd?"
Shepherd: "On it, sir-"
Suzy Q: "WAIT! Wait... I'll cooperate!"
Chakotay: "All right... Explain the situation then."
Later, in the meeting room...
Shepherd: "... Let me get this straight. You Q were so disturbed by Quinn taking his own life and ending his existence that it led to... A civil war?"
Suzy: "Pretty much."
Tuvok: "Fascinating."
Chakotay: "And the supernovae are a side effect of this conflict?"
Suzy Q: "Yes. The Q fought amongst themselves only once before. We tried waging war with proxies, but that became unsustainable. We caused too much damage."
Shepherd: "How much damage?"
Suzy Q: "Do you know of what you call the Giant Supervoid? To the Vulcans, the Sektek Void?"
Tuvok: "An astronomical void over a billion cubic lightyears in volume, one point six billion lightyears away from the Milky Way Galaxy. It contains no galaxies, no suns, no matter at all."
Suzy Q: nods grimly "That's what happened the last time the Q had a civil war."
Everyone in the room is silent in horror.
Shepherd: "So... How do we end this conflict?"
Suzy Q: "My faction seeks to maintain the status quo. Q's faction is rebelling against that status quo. Q was thinking that by mating with your captain, he could create a new kind of Q that could bring everyone together in peace."
Shepherd: "... That's stupid."
Suzy Q: "It's what I told him!"
Chakotay: "Stupid or not, we need to figure out a way to end this conflict. The fate of the galaxy-hell, the Universe-might depend on it."
Tuvok: "Commander, it seems unlikely we can actually do anything. The scale of this war is beyond anything we can likely imagine."
Suzy Q: "Well... There might be a way. If I can get this bucket into the Q Continuum, I can regain my powers. I can then imbue you with our weapons and power. You humanoids have a talent for war, after all. And for making peace. The Q have only really fought twice in our whole existence."
Chakotay: "How long would it take you to fix us up to get into the Continuum?"
Suzy Q: "Perhaps a few hours?"
Chakotay: "B'Elanna, Tuvok, work with her. Shepherd, get the ship ready for combat."
Shepherd: "Sir, one request?"
Chakotay: "Yes?"
Shepherd: "With respect, we are going up against beings that may as well be gods... May I break out the pirate costumes? Just in case?"
Chakotay: "... Fine."
Shepherd: "WOO!"
Suzy Q: "I'm doomed, aren't I?'
Tom: "Just figured that out now, huh?"
Voyager is heading towards a star about to go nova... And Suzy Q has helped them modify the ship.
Chakotay: "How do the modifications look, B'Elanna?"
B'Elanna: "Well, it looks like we're sending a graviton rebound through the deflector dish, creating a multi-layered shield... I'd say our shield strength is now about... Ten times what it was before!"
Shepherd: "Cool. Let's remember that for next time we're fighting something horrible."
Suzy Q: "Hmph! You stupid apes could have figured it out yourselves, if you tried hard enough."
Shepherd: "Uh huh."
Suzy Q: "Helmboy! Maintain your course and speed! We have to time this just right!"
Tom: glances at Chakotay
Chakotay: "As she says, Tom."
Harry: "So... What will happen to Voyager herself once we get into the Continuum."
Suzy Q: "Your adorable little barge will take a form suitable for your senses to comprehend."
Shepherd: "May I make a suggestion on that?"
Suzy Q: "Yes."
Chakotay: "Go ahead, Shepherd."
Harry: "The sun is about to go nova!"
Chakotay: "Brace for impact!"
A few moments later... In the Q Continuum, as General Q is about to execute Janeway and Q...
General Q: "Ready! Aim...!"
Janeway: Looking stoic...
General Q: "Fi-" A shot knocks his hat off his head "ACK! WHAT THE-?!
Janeway: "What in the-?!"
And a gigantic steampunk airship with USS Voyager emblazoned on the side flies overhead.
Shepherd pops his head out, dressed as a pirate captain.
Shepherd: "YAR! Hazard Team, rescue the captives 'n take down the enemies! Scupper th' bloody dieties and hose down the mainsail!"
The rest of the Hazard Team, also dressed as pirates, rappel from Voyager along with other crewmembers dressed as Union soldiers.
Shepherd: "YARHARHARHAR! SAVE THE WENCH CAPTAIN AND KEELHAUL THE BRACES!"
Hazard Team: "YO HO!"
Q: sniff "I missed that crazy humanoid!"
Janeway: groans
Sorry but... Wow, this one was pretty damn bad too.