LBH: I rise again! Since I have yet to think of a new chapter for CaBdnM(…) I decided to write this because these three little one shots have been floating around in my head for days.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, never have never will.

WARNING: Can you already start to feel the melting of your eyes because of my bad grammar and spelling? CAN YOU! If not, then they're burning now/Pulls out a huge life-size Armstrong action figure and pushes a button/ Let my minion burn your pitiful eyes!

Armstrong Action-Figure: CAN YOU SEE THE STRENGTH IN THESE BEAUTIFUL MUSCLES! CAN YOU/flex/ THIS TECHNIQUE OF BODY BUILDING HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THROUGH THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS/Poses and sprouts shiny pink sparkles/

LBH:…/cough/ On with the fiction then…

SECOND WARNING: Hints of yaoi, just so you know… So you can't say I didn't tell you! If you fail to read this and flame anyway then you're…Kinda pitiful because it makes you look like you can't read the obvious messages in bold…

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A Collection of Three

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Story One: Blender

Being a demon container wasn't easy, far from it in fact. with the glaring villages and harsh words… But Naruto dislikes to angst, he greatly dislikes it in fact. So he thinks of less saddening down-sides to being the Kyuubi's Vessel, such as household appliances. It was very difficult to get his hands on that television he was so lucky afford, let alone any other electronic items. But household items that weren't necessary for everyday use he wasn't able to get.

Such as a blender.

Now as to why he needed a blender, it all began with a trip to the hospital. Apparently all that ramen he ate wasn't the healthiest thing for him. So Tsunade had given him a list that strictly told him what to eat and what not to eat. One thing on that list was fruit. He'd never really taken a great liking to fruits because of their squishy inner flesh and odd colors. Though that one fruit orange did greatly appeal to him… A fruit that was orange and was CALLED orange couldn't possibly be that bad.

But when he still refused to eat any fruit Tsunade suggested something called a fruit smoothie. Basically he was told to peel the skin off the fruit and pick out any seeds in said fruit and blend it together with a few other ingredients to help it was become smooth. Naruto thought this was great because he had an excuse to get out of it, he lacked a blender. His response from Tsunade was not what he had hoped. Instead of telling him it was okay not to eat fruit, she told him in simple worlds to "be creative."

So here he was in his kitchen staring at the peeled and pit less, or in some case seedless, fruits on the table in front of him. From his stand point he figured he had three options. He could not eat the fruit and as a result have Tsunade beat him into submission and force feed the fruits to him. Or he could willingly eat the fruits and save himself a world full of pain and make one Hokage very happy. Or he could run away, change his name, and grow a mustache. He reconsidered the last option when he felt his chin; unfortunately for him he never grew facial hair, so that option was out. Thinking about the last two options he decided on the one that brought him less pain. So he'd eat the damned fruit. It couldn't be too bad, right?

So back to that whole…Naruto lacking a blender problem…thingy…

He'd just have to find something that could mimic the effects of a blender. He thought good and hard for a moment before his thoughts turned to his fight with Sasuke. He'd successfully managed to drag him back to Konoha with the help of the Rasengan… Rasengan…

It was at this point a glowing light bulb suddenly appeared out of nowhere above his head. That was it, his Rasengan! The move was basically confining whirling blades of chakra into a ball. The effect, if you managed to hit your opponent, would pretty much blend their inner organs. If it could blend humans, why not fruit? Their fleshy inner bellies were pretty much the same anyway…

Grabbing a fairly large bowl he threw in a bunch of the fruit and a few other things before gathering his chakra into his hand. He was such a genius! Why didn't he think of this before?

Lowering his hand with contained Rasengan into the bowl, Naruto failed to realize that the lip of the bowl was rather wide. Something a regretted in a moment, because as soon as the Rasengan touched the fruit it had the desired affect and blended the fruit. But like a stated before the lip of the bowl was too large and because there was no lid to cover the rest of the bowl the blender fruit soon came flying out making a mess of Naruto's kitchen as well as Naruto himself.

Letting the Rasengan fade Naruto fell back down on his fruit covered kitchen floor in shock. The spikes of his hair along with his entire person were covered in the mixture of blended strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, cherries, and a few other types of berries he wasn't quite sure of the name of. His hair was now drooped with the pinkish colored goop and just when he thought things couldn't get any worse he recognized the snap and flash of a camera.

In his doorway stood a smiling Kakashi, or what he assumed was smiling. He held a small shinobi field camera in his hands.

"Why hello Naruto-kun! Having fun with your fruits?"

"Does it LOOK like I'm having fun!"

"Well maybe not fun for you but these pictures will earn me some good money… I know many people who would pay a great deal to see a meal of Uzumaki Naruto topped with fruit sauce." If it was at all possible Kakashi's grin widened.

Naruto's eye's narrowed. Two could play at this game.

"Well that's a shame because if those pictures got out then I'm afraid I might have to tell my good friend Dolphin-kun that his Scarecrow has returned to his naughty habits… "

Kakashi paled instantly.

"It's agreed then that we tell no one of this incident?"

Kakashi hesitated and mumbled something under his breath.

"We tell no one, RIGHT Kakashi?"

The silver haired man sighed before agreeing.

"Right, we tell no one."

"That's what I thought you said."

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LBH: Yay! Tale one of three! Anyway I'm still in the process of typing the other two and I have the names for them.

Story Two: The Jacket

Story Three: Three Syllable Names

R/R