Here we go, chapter one…we are in present time now. Can't wait for my copy of New Moon to arrive. Okay, that was random. Anyway, yay! It should be here in a few days. Or weeks, which would be rather depressing. Is it good? New Moon, I mean, not this fanfic, well, that too but…okay I'll shut up now.

Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, or the characters. This whole Disclaimer thing is so boring. Do you guys read it? I hope so. Tell me if you do. I'll cry if you don't.

:'( is that really what you want?

Chapter One-Hottie Spotting

Bella's POV

I was out having lunch with Sam and Ryan. They were awesome. I was filling Sam in on the guys at our school. I could imagine her with Mike for some reason…

"So this Edward guy, is he hot"? Sam asked curiously. I snapped my head up to look at her. Ryan answered for me. "Obviously not, or Bella wouldn't have broken up with him", he muttered. Sam's jaw dropped.

"I wish I had a camera, with the look on your face", I joked. Yes, it was all part of my plan to avoid the question I knew was coming. "You went out with him"? Sam asked incredulously. "Okay, now I have to meet him", she stood up quickly.

"Sam"! Ryan frowned at her. "You are so insensitive! She obviously doesn't want to introduce him to us. She probably doesn't even want to think about him, I mean c'mon. There must have been a reason she broke up with him"! Ryan said matter-of-factly.

I was about to smile thankfully to him, but then he looked at me expectantly. He wanted me to tell them why! But for some reason I had an urge to tell them. Not about the vampire thing, but what happened with a slight exaggeration.

"We were just so different. I mean, our lifestyles were almost complete opposite", I said. I was only being half truthful. Sam watched my face carefully. "How"? She asked. I sighed.

"First of all…well, he was a vegetarian, and…well, it just felt like he was a totally different species…like he wasn't human…", I trailed off.

Probably because he wasn't human.

"Wow. That's deep", Ryan stared at me for about ten seconds. "So, anyone want some more chips"? He looked around. Sam groaned. "I'm too full", she mumbled. I let out a silent sigh of relief. They were easily distracted, which was a good thing.

For me. But just at that moment things went from being good for me, to being completely suicidal. Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Alice and Rosalie glided in. Alice and Rosalie in the direction of the clothes stores, the boys in the direction of the food court.

In the direction of us. I ducked my head but no doubt Edward would have smelt me by then. I saw Sam gasp. She was staring at Edward like he was Brad Pitt or someone incredibly famous.

"Oh my God. Total hottie alert", she giggled. I would have rolled my eyes but I was too nervous. Edward walked right up to our table! But he seemed almost as nervous as me. "Hey Bella", he said in a seductive tone.

It wasn't intentional, but it made Sam giggle. I saw Emmett and Jasper snicker. "Hey Bella", they said. "Were just going to get some lunch", I saw Jasper restraining a laugh as he and Emmett went off to another table.

Edward looked down uncomfortably. "Hello Edward", I said tightly, with an intentional strain on the word Edward. Sam's eyes widened. She flicked her blonde hair. "So you're Edward", she batted her thick lashes.

She was doing a better job than most other girls I had seen. I could tell that Edward was actually paying attention to her flirting. He never seemed to notice it when other girl's flirted with him.

Flashback.

"Edward, only one of us can win! I want it to be me! Please Edward, change me"! I begged. Edward glared at me. "No. And what do you mean only one of us can win? This isn't a game, Bella. It's life or death"! Edward shouted. I glared back. "Okay, you win. You get what you wanted, me living a normal life as a human", I whispered.

Edward stared at me. He looked dejected. "I'm sorry you want it to be that way", he whispered. The dark clouds were tumbling overhead now. I felt a drop of rain splash on my cheeks. It was encouraging the tears that began to brim over my eyes.

The tears trickled down, controlled, one at a time. Just as though everything was happening like it would on a soap opera. Like it was all in the script. Every tear fell individually. Then the rain poured down, and on cue so did my tears.

End of flashback.

Actually, it looked more like he couldn't care less. He looked really tired. Rather ironic, considering he can't sleep. But he truly looked tired. His eyes were dull and lifeless. I should have wanted to throw my arms around him. But I didn't. There was nothing. I felt nothing. No desire. No ache in my heart.

I wanted to love him. But I also didn't want to love him. It was all so confusing! Damn Edward for being so bloody good looking and for loving me so much. If he would just give it up! I glared at him and he took the hint. He gave a half hearted smile. "Goodbye, Bella", and he walked off, looking dejected. "Goodbye forever, Edward", I whispered, looking down. No one else heard it, but I know he heard did.

There was an uncomfortable silence at our table after that. "So, that was the famous Edward Cullen"? Ryan asked finally. I looked at him. "No, that was…a different Edward. Just some guy I know from school", I shook my head. I could tell that Edward was looking at me. He had heard that too, no doubt.

I turned my head to look at him, and almost cried as guilt washed over me. I could see the deep pain in Edward's eyes. If he could have cried, he would of. He would have been balling. But vampires can't cry. Edward told me that.

Edward

Edward showed me that, too. He showed me now, and the day we broke up.