Country Kind Of Love
Addison-fan: You will probably hate this… I'm sorry...
LoveLastsForever: Well, France isn't so far! :D But I'll take my chances ;)
NetflixPerson01: At leaast Daddy's Little Girl will stay happy for now!
Lena-Prince08: True, the mom should show up, but not just yet… Or maybe I'll have her show up in Counting Stars… Not sure yet!
Em: I'm totally blaming you for my J issue! The J symptom, as it will be called from now on :D
Msmiumiu: Unfortunately I do have a life and don't get paid for writing ff :D hence the slow updates! But here's one ;)
bennyexpi09: Thank you :) I'm glad you like the story and that you'll keep reading!
Chapter 12
"Hi." Addison, completely soaked because she had been waiting outside of the hospital for Mark for what seemed like an eternity, greeted wearily when just sighed and looked at her. "I know that you probably don't want to talk to me either, but, Mark, please listen to what I have to say, please." She was absolutely desperate and she didn't even care how much her voice really reflected it.
"It doesn't matter what you say to me, Addison, it really doesn't." He told her. Of course Mark felt bad for her, he could see the pain in her eyes and under normal circumstances no one would stand in the pouring rain just to wait for someone.
"Can you just please tell him to talk to me? This is all a big misunderstanding. I wasn't trying to hide anything, but for me that engagement was off, the relationship was over. I know I've hurt him and I get that he probably doesn't want to see me again but I just want to explain." By now tears were running down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away.
"Addie, trust me, I feel for you, I really do, but it's Derek's decision and not mine. Imagine how he felt when this guy shows up and tells all of us that he's your fiancé. This isn't something that you can explain and then everything is back to how it was. I'll talk to him, I promise but I don't know if it'll change anything."
Addison nodded her head and looked down at the sopping wet ground. "Thank you." With this she turned around to walk towards her car.
"I'm really sorry, Addison." Mark told her genuinely. He knew how tough the past week had been on Derek, so he could imagine how she must feel.
xxx
The next day Derek ran his fingers through his hair as he finished off his fourth cup of coffee that morning. It was his first day back at work and so far he and Addison hadn't run into each other but he still couldn't stop thinking about her. He had tried to stay at home, because at least he wouldn't have to see her then but whenever he closed his eyes images of the way she smiled, rolled her eyes or the way she had stared at him when her fiancé had come to the hospital, floated his mind. Her fiancé. It had hit him like a knife straight to the heart. The woman he had been falling on love with, the first person he ever could've imagined to spend of the rest of his life with and she had a fiancé. One she had told him absolutely nothing about and one who didn't seem to think that the engagement was off. Because maybe he was just an idiot who didn't know how to treat her right and now realized he had made a mistake but maybe because it really wasn't over between them.
Derek groaned and shook his head. Thinking about her just made him miss her so much more. He missed her laugh, he missed the smell of her hair and most importantly he missed her. Seeing her, talking to her, hugging her, kissing her. When he turned a corner he only saw a flash of red hair a moment before she turned around and their gazes met. He saw that she looked just as tired as he did, maybe just as heartbroken as he was, and all Derek wanted to do was to take her in his arms and forget the past week had even happened but instead he stared at her for only a moment and quickly turned around again when she opened her mouth to say something. He didn't want to hear what she wanted to say; he couldn't because he knew that his heart couldn't take it.
xxx
"You'll have to talk to her eventually." Preston sat down on a gurney next to Derek at the end of the day.
"No, I don't." Derek sighed, knowing that his friend was right and that he had to talk to Addison at some point but for now he figured that denial could make this situation a little more bearable.
"Maybe just listen to what she has to say…"
"You're starting to sound like Mark. I don't have to listen to what she says because she hadn't told me that she's engaged and she's had so many opportunities so why didn't she just tell me?" He wasn't even asking Preston, but just wondering aloud by now.
"Maybe she didn't know how to tell you. Derek, I know that it's none of my business, but that woman is genuinely upset and so are you. You should talk. No matter if this would mean getting back together or not, but just talk."
Derek just nodded his head and stared at the wall in front of him, the look in his eyes just as blank as the white wall.
xxx
"Jason, please leave." Addison sighed when she got to the front door of her apartment complex and saw her ex fiancé standing there, obviously waiting for her like he had been every day for the past week.
"Addie, give me a chance. I promise, it will be different this time." He momentarily paused when she just snorted. "Come on, you know that you belong in New York, with me. Not here, in the middle of nowhere. I mean, Kansas, really?"
Just as Addison was about to answer she saw Derek walking towards them but he stopped dead in his tracks when he realized that she was standing there with Jason. "Derek." She whispered, causing Jason to turn around, a smirk appearing on his face.
"Oh, well, isn't that cute?" He chuckled; noticing the way the other man was looking at Addison before he turned around again and started to walk off.
"Derek, stop!" Addison ran after him and grabbed his arm to make him turn around. "Please, don't go."
"Looks like you've made your choice." He told her and turned around to look at her.
"I don't want him here. I only want you. This isn't what it looks like." She whispered, tears welling up in her eyes when he shook his head.
"It never is, is it?" Derek said bitterly. "I don't even know why I came."
"Yes, you do." She insisted but he just shook his head again, trying his best not to actually look at her.
"Goodbye, Addison." He whispered and walked away, leaving her standing on the sidewalk. Addison closed her eyes and started to sob uncontrollably.
When she had walked back to the front door she wasn't even sure how she had made it over there because somehow she felt like she wasn't herself, like all she could do anymore was cry.
"Addie, I'm leaving tonight." Jason told her and handed her an envelope. "This is your ticket, think about it, please."
She only nodded her head because by now she didn't have any energy left to discuss anything anymore. Slowly she unlocked the door and let it fall shut behind her. When she had reached her apartment she sank down on the ground and started sobbing.
xxx
"What's wrong? I thought you had tonight off?" Mark looked concerned when Derek had appeared at the hospital next to him; already busy looking through some of his charts.
"Figured I should check on some of my patients." Derek just mumbled.
"What happened?" He questioned again. What was going on between Derek and Addison wasn't healthy and even though Mark and Preston had both urged him to talk to her it seemed like Derek just wanted to forget about his feeling for her, which, of course, wasn't exactly working.
"She's getting back together with him."
"What?!" Now Mark really couldn't believe it.
"I went to her apartment because," Derek sighed, looked up and shook his head, "I don't even know why but he was there, talking to her."
"You know why you went there… Was he in her apartment?"
"No, outside the front door."
"So she told you that they're getting back together?" Mark raised his eyebrows at his best friend who only shook his head. "Then I don't get it. What did she say when she saw you?"
"It doesn't matter. It all doesn't matter anymore." Derek said after a moment of silence. "I'm done. I'm just done feeling this way."
"But that isn't a solution to anything. You can't just decide that you don't want to feel this way anymore and then you don't. It doesn't work like that."
"And since when are you the expert?" Derek snapped and walked away. Of course he knew that Mark was right and that he was only trying to help but seeing Addison with her fiancé earlier had made him feel like his heart was breaking even more, even though he hadn't thought that was even a possibility.
xxx
"Hey, I figured you could use some ice cream." Miranda Bailey said when Addison opened the door to her apartment.
"Thank you." She smiled slightly and opened the door further so Miranda could come inside.
"Are you going somewhere?" Miranda asked once she was inside of the apartment and saw a small suitcase by the door.
"I'm going back to New York." Addison's voice was barely above a whisper as tears streamed down her cheeks once again.
I know this wasn't what you wanted/expected! BUT there will be more, I'm not sure how I'll have it end but suggestions are always welcome! And yes, even I was crying in the end here…
Aaaaaand the slow updating is due to my cramming for a major test! You're all very welcome to finance my life and horse though, that way you'll get new updates each day :D
Reviews are love!