Rating: PG
Genre: Romance/Drama
Pairing: M/A
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Dark Angel and I have no money so suing me would be pointless.
Summary: You can't control what you hear; you can only pretend its not being said. How will Max cope when something becomes too real to ignore? M/A (as if I'd write anything else)
Chapter 5
Max walked purposely across the quad in the direction of HQ. It had only been a few days since she had been there last but she knew she had no reason to avoid it any longer and the large pile of work that was no doubt cluttering her desk. If Max was being honest with herself she was actually looking forward to being able to burry herself in her work again, it would certainly keep other more current and distressing matters out of her mind.
Her heat had been different this time, varying in many ways from any heat she had experienced up until now. Firstly it had lasted a comparatively short time, so comparatively short that even the on call medic in containment was unsure about letting her out. She had in fact insisted on doing some checks just to make sure everything was working as it should and that she was actually in the clear. But apparently everything was fine. The medic had shrugged at her, Max remembered, and said it may well just be a mixture of stress, sleep deprivation, anxiety, and healing wounds; the kinds of things that effect even ordinary women's cycles.
She also suggested that it may have been a response to Cece's heat. Her hormones triggering a response in Max's body telling her it was some kind of mating season or something, but her body just wasn't ready to cope with it in full. Max didn't really like that theory much. She wasn't about to have a sympathy heat for anyone, no matter how good a friend they might be.
Whatever the reason Max couldn't help but feel relieved, it was in no way an experience she wanted to prolong. Yet she remained troubled. The other thing that had made this heat so different from her previous episodes was her fixation and focus on a single target. Before anyone would do it was just about scratching an itch, but this time her whole body was screaming for him and only him. Maybe it was because she'd had a taste of him but it made her uneasy. So uneasy in fact that she didn't dare go home for a shower in case she ran into him there, instead she showered at the med-centre.
But avoiding him now would be out of the question because she was expected at a general meeting, called for her benefit to get her up to speed on what she'd missed. He would have to be there because as her SIC he would have been in charge all this time.
"Damn you Alec." She cursed under her breath. There he was right under her skin again.
As she turned the corner her resolve strengthen and her exterior hardened. She cracked her neck to the side as if stretching for battle. All she had to do was get through this meeting with her sanity intact and she would be free to hide away for the rest of the day, or the week if necessary.
She was angry with who or what she didn't really know - probably everything and everyone - but she had to be angry, she welcomed the feeling openly letting it envelope her whole body, so afraid to feel anything else. This whole situation was spiralling out of her control as everything, even the forces of nature seemed to be pushing her towards something she wasn't ready for, something she didn't want to see. And if there was something she hated it was not being in control.
She was a carefully contained ball of rage daring anyone to let her release it as she entered HQ and headed for the adjacent room for the meeting.
Everyone was already there waiting patiently for her arrival. As she entered she made a mental check: there was Mole head of weaponry, then next to him sat Dix with what looked like the majority of the paper work piled in front of him, and next to him sat Luke, head of communications. On the other side of the long table sat TC's head medic Lyphid chatting quietly to head of supplies which was Gem, and finishing off the party were Biggs and Alec sat with their feet on the table looking as if they were in the middle of a cat nap.
Max nodded a silent greeting and went to sit at the head of the table.
"Go." Is all she said, her voice cold, even and commanding. It surprised everyone including herself, even Alec who had been slumbering peacefully almost jumped to attention when it roused him.
The reports were delivered from each of them quickly and succinctly, with the military precision that Max was hoping for because she really just wanted to get this over and done with. She noted everything in her mind carefully and tried to keep questions at a minimum.
Alec watched her, trying to suss her out. There was a barely contained fire in her eyes begging to be released and an unspoken challenge to anyone who dared to pick it up. It was having an adverse affect on everyone, even Mole who seemed to rethink his usually sarcastic approach to these meetings.
Something was wrong with her, something was troubling her and had been for the last week. It seemed anything he'd tried to do or did for her only made it worse. Now, even though she'd had some time away from everything, it seemed to be worse than ever. It was time for a change of tactic. Alec was never one to back out of a challenge, so with well practised defiance he launched into his own report and prepared to welcome the storm he would no doubt unleash.
"Right. The raid on the docks was a complete success. The dozy gits never saw it coming and are probably still chasing their own tails. I mean we could've sent Mole in with the rest of his lizard-like cousins in Santa suits and they still wouldn't have worked it out… "
"Stick to the facts, Alec." Max snapped. It was a warning, but that wasn't what irked Alec. It was the fact that she was consistently and studiously refusing to look at him even now when it was his turn to speak.
"Basically we can gear up and go back for seconds whenever we like. Next, Biggs and Dix wanted to start the systematic checking of all cameras and surveillance equipment on the site. I okayed it. I thought they should probably start in your office because we all know what you get up to in there ... well actually we don't but we'd really like to find out." Biggs sat back, his mouth gaping open at Alec's audacity. What was he trying to do?
"...And also I thought there's no need to bother with Logan's camera and intercom connection because, lets face it, no one really cares if that goes down." Max finally turned her red hot gaze on him. He aimed a cheeky grin at her somewhat satisfied by her response. She was definitely planning his demise in the most torturous and painful ways. Maybe he'd done enough. "And finally, the X-8's and X-9's will start their training tomorrow, lead by..."
"What!" Alec was cut short by her sudden outburst when suddenly he had gone from barely a peripheral thought to the centre of her attention. "What do you mean 'training'?"
Alec was temporarily stunned into silence, not from fear but out of genuine surprise. Of all the crap he had been spouting-off she was going to fight him over this! he thought incredulously to himself. The one bit he was actually serious about.
"Training is training Max." He answered, recovering quickly.
"What? you mean manoeuvres? battlefield tactics? combat? weaponry? Training!" Max genuinely objected.
"Something like that."
"I don't think so." She scoffed.
"Max, there's a sizeable gap between the knowledge these kids have compared to the rest of us. There are things they need to know." Alec leaned forward into the challenge. Max's cheeks reddened with her increasing outrage.
"We'll be back to where we started. Manticore all over again only here, bang-smack in the middle of Seattle where everyone can see it!"
"This is not..."
"Why don't we just build a Tank and sit them all in there until they learn to breath water..!"
"Hey!" Alec stood up suddenly, real rage building within him. "It's not the same and you know it." The others in the room had pushed back from the table and were watching the heated exchange safely out of the fray.
"What right have you to decide what these kids should or shouldn't do."
"About the same as you do, Max." Alec placed his hands on the table and leaned further over it to get right in her face. She'd been throwing her weight about for long enough and it was really beginning to piss him off. He wasn't sure what angered him the most; the fact that she wasn't being reasonable about this, or the fact that it was evident she was rejecting the thought because it was his, apparently, it seemed because to her he was still manticore. "What's your problem here? is it the idea or the fact that I authorized it?"
"Right, because everything's about you!" Max growled "This is about those kids, they have a real chance to grow up with a real childhood."
"In the middle of a siege! Later maybe, right now they need to know how to protect themselves!"
"They know too much as it is."
"You can't act like nothing's happening. You can't pretend to them that they can do whatever they want. You can't tell them they are normal!" It was a nice dream to be 'normal,' whatever that was, but he knew they weren't and never could be, it would be denying their very nature. Alec had made this point to her before, but this time it was an attack.
"So, it's better to give them a knife and tell them to expect war is it!" Max shouted incredulously. "It doesn't need to come to that."
"They need to be prepared. White and his cult buddies are ready to wipe us off the face of the planet if they can persuade enough people, and the good people of Seattle are more than willing to be convinced. We are all going to need to protect ourselves, all of us."
"We need to do what's best for them."
"We need to give them a fighting chance!"
"Alec! I'm warning you. Don't make me pull rank." Max glared daggers as they stood practically nose to nose. Alec paused, stunned into a temporary silence for the second time. He jerked back away from her with a mix of hurt and fury.
"You're going to overrule me? I'm being vetoed? I thought this was a democracy, we need to talk about this."
"We are talking."
"No, we're yelling!" Alec looked her up and down, "And, in your case, spitting."
"You're out of line, soldier." Max said venomously in a deliberately condescending tone. Alec stepped back from the table. He was seething, but it was obvious they would not solve this now and his had enough of a grasp on his anger to know it was time to walk away and cool off.
"You think because you've been out in the world ten years longer than the rest of us, that makes you any better qualified to decide what we need! ... You want to see Manticore Max? Look in the mirror." With that and all the genuine venom that went with it, Alec stormed out of the room.
The room fell into an awkward silence. Max's body was still humming with the adrenaline from their fight and somehow the outpouring made her feel better and worse at the same time. Being able to be that truly angry at Alec and to vent it all on him calmed any other feelings she had coursing through her, and allowed her to feel something other than confused about him. But at the same time she couldn't help but feel that maybe she had gone too far and then there was the gnawing feeling in her gut that was suspiciously like guilt.
Remembering where she was she straightened, collecting her things.
"I think we're done here." She said closing the meeting with a deceptive calm before heading out to her office and slamming the door behind her.
The remaining occupants of the room let out their collective breath they had been holding throughout, so totally uncomfortable in all that tension. Slowly they began to dissipate getting back to their duties. A stunned Gem looked over at an equally amazed Biggs.
"You know," She said leaning over, "If they ever got together, with that passion, it would be explosive."
A/N: Well here we go, didn't take quite so long this time. Helped along by the encouraging reviews, thanks guys! I was in a mood when I wrote this, can you tell? Please review! Good or bad I need to know. xxx