Rating: PG

Genre: Romance/Drama

Pairing: M/A

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Dark Angel and I have no money so suing me would be pointless.

Summary: You can't control what you hear; you can only pretend its not being said. How will Max cope when something becomes too real to ignore? M/A (as if I'd write anything else)

A/N: Thanks to all my lovely reviewers! Please keep reading and reviewing and I'll keep a writing!

Chapter 6

The gate loomed in front of her and she glared at it the way she wanted to glare at Alec but couldn't seeing as they had both been studiously avoiding each other. There were two barriers she needed to cross before she was on the outside. The first the physical barrier of the gate, and the second was her own conscience. The committee had all agreed on a curfew for all transgenics, for their own protection and to keep everyone accounted for at all times. Max was about to break it, on purpose.

She was still reeling from her fight with Alec, all she wanted to do was to hurt him. She needed to punch him, kick him, anything, so long as he was bruised she thought she would be happy. Some of the things he'd had the audacity to say to her had struck a cord and she was furious. She was vaguely aware of the irrationality and baselessness of her rage, but it was having as much of a say as her conscience was at that moment.

In one fluid motion she leapt up over the barrier between her and the rest of the world and blurred into the shadows away from prying eyes. Once she was certain that she was clear and safe she continued her journey carefully tucking her hair into her hood keeping herself as anonymous as possible.

As she looked back over her shoulder at the rapidly disappearing walls of Terminal City her conscience became louder and louder with every step further she got from it. But she pushed on nonetheless.

Her mind flashed back to her encounter with Biggs who tried to stop her going but she just ripped into him, like she ripped into everyone else who had tried to talk to her today. She began to think there must be something really wrong with her, because surely this much rage was not healthy. It was beginning to get into excess even for her and she was attacking people indiscriminately.

She turned another corner and then stopped abruptly. She had reached her intended destination. She was at Logan's but she wasn't going in, she wasn't moving at all, she just stood there staring at the house that had once been Joshua's but was now the home and secret base of operations for Eyes Only.

It had only just become clear that she didn't want to go in, now that she was ten feet from the front door. Through this whole charade that had seemed to be the goal but now it was painfully clear that it had never been so. She suddenly ducked out of sight in case Logan happened by a window and saw her standing there. She leaned up against a wall and cursed at herself.

She was so messed up, so twisted she was using Logan to hurt someone else. She wasn't worried about him, she hadn't thought about him for quite some time. She'd been occupied with another this whole time. The only reason she was here was to spite Alec because she knew it would anger him. She came here just to hurt him.

She hadn't happened to bump into Biggs on her route out of terminal city, she had deliberately sought him out because she knew he would be as good as a direct line to Alec. The fact that she knew he was in love with her only added an extra sting to her actions because now she was knowingly playing with his heart. Playing games ...

It seemed the tables had turned. she had started by using Alec to get at Logan, to push him away, and now she was using Logan to get at Alec. For the same reasons? What did she think she would achieve with this stunt? She wasn't thinking and that was just the problem. It was a cheap shot but she had to take it because she knew this time that she was going to have to hold out the olive branch and make amends.

Why was this all happening? Why now? why had one tiny revelation thrown her so completely? Why had it apparently turned her into a lunatic? Nothing she did made any sense to her anymore. It's as if it had kicked off a fight inside her, a fight that was taking all her energy not to conclude because she was afraid of knowing who would win.

Max forced herself off the wall and began to walk away with nowhere near as much difficulty as she had imagined.

------

Back at her apartment in Terminal City Max sat by the kitchen counter brewing coffee and waiting. She figured if Alec thought she was out he was more likely to come home and then maybe she could fix things and they could be friends again. Maybe she could plead temporary insanity and things could go back to the way they were before any of this happened.

And she didn't have to wait long because, sure enough, in came Alec looking dejected before he realised she was there when his face became clear and totally impassive.

"Hey," She said carefully and approached him cautiously with a mug in her hand. "Coffee?" she asked holding out the hot dark and rich peace offering to him. He considered it for sometime before he reached out to take it from her though not releasing the anger she was sure he was working hard to contain.

"Thanks." He said but nothing else making it clear to Max that he had no intention of apologising. He watched her carefully for a while, his expression ever so slightly hopeful. Max however, was trying to find the words to fix the bridge she had been trying to burn all week, but she found it hard to know what to say and where to start.

As no conversation seemed forth coming Alec straightened and walked across towards his bedroom.

"Alec." She called after him.

"What!" Alec was getting tired of this game and he had no patience to play whats-wrong-with-Maxie tonight.

"Can we talk?" Alec regarded her sceptically.

"Go ahead." Alec answered infuriatingly uncooperative, he was obviously still angry. Max sighed, she was no good at apologise.

"I wasn't sure if you were coming home tonight." She said lamely trying to buy herself time.

"I didn't think you'd be here." He spat, the accusation evident in his tone and it confirmed that Max had indeed hit her mark.

"I just ... I'm sorry I just needed to go, things just get so ... claustrophobic." Max couldn't meet the eyes that she felt were piercing through her now.

"That's your excuse! Fuck Max." Alec raged "You think you can just do whatever you like! That the rules don't apply to you!"

"Look, I'm sorry ok, I know..."

"Why are you sorry? It's not like what I think matters, not when you can just veto me!" The claws were really out now.

"Fuck you Alec! You don't want to make peace then that's fine." Max fumed.

"I'm always making peace with you, and I'm tired of it, I'm going to be angry for once!" Alec was sure she was going to interrupt, throw in her usual 'shut up!' and then run off, but he'd be damned if he was going to let her. "You think because you're 'The Chosen One' that the rules don't apply to you? if anything they apply more. You act like you're indestructible, like you're untouchable. You need a fucking reality check!"

"Okay Alec, I get it. I wasn't thinking, I was angry. I just wanted to ..." Max trailed off not sure the end of that statement would help the situation much. Things were rapidly getting out of control and she needed to cool her temper before she made things worse than they were to begin with.

"To what? you wanted to what?" Max just stared at him which seemed to piss him off even more "What do you want Max? do you even know?"

"I want you to shut up! I came back didn't I! because it was a mistake. I came back to work this out." She said gesturing between them, her words holding a double meaning only she was aware of. She wanted to fix things with Alec externally and internally. She just wanted all this confusion, frustration and anger to be over. She knew exactly what she wanted; she wanted peace.

"Fine." Alec stepped forward and removed his jacket and threw it to one side, "You want to throw down, lets do it." Max watched him gob smacked as he dropped into his fighting stance in front of her.

"You want to fight!"

"How else do you propose we sort this out. Talking obviously doesn't work, and to be honest I'm not in the mood for a friendly chat." Max didn't move. "Don't tell me you haven't thought about hitting me. I can see it written all over your face."

"Alec..."

"Sometimes I want to hit you Max." Alec's voice dropped to a low growl as this confession cut Max's objections short. "Or shake you or something because it's the only way to get through to you. You can deny it but you and I both know this whole thing is only going to get resolved one way."

"Fine." Max pulled off her jacket and discarded it. "You want a piece of me, come and get it." Without hesitation Alec dived right in literally. He threw himself at her with such speed she almost didn't dodge out of the way as he aimed a kick at her midsection. Max jumped over the sofa and kicked it at him as he turned to follow her. Alec cleared it with ease as Max launched herself at him elbowing him and then going for the face with a left hook.

"Where do you get off! Telling me what's best for me, Jackass!" Alec duck to her side and kicked her into the shelves in the corner which crumbled on impact.

"Just because I don't agree with Queen Max's dictatorship." Max threw a lump of wood at him, taking the opportunity to kick him into the wall as he batted it away.

"I'm not dictating!"

"Whatever," Alec dove at her and they both tumbled over the coffee table smashing it. "It's your way or the highway, it always has been, I have to wrestle you into listening to me." They were exchanged blows in a heap on the floor rolling over in a struggle for dominance.

"I listen," Max shouted, kicking him off her. "You're just good at spouting crap."

"You just assume I'm wrong." Alec kicked her legs away and made a move to punch down on her.

"Whatever." Max dived out of the way making a jump at his back.

"I'm so sick of your Max-is-always-right attitude," The fighting began to get faster and more intense "It's not like you've never made any mistakes, it's not like you've never screwed up."

"Yeah, I've screwed up but after a while you learn your lesson. You don't just go on as blindly as you did before." A chair went flying and Alec just ducked out of the way in time.

"That's bullshit!" Alec took her arm and threw her across the room, "Or you'd have stopped running by now. You just can't lower yourself to trust me." As his last words were ripped from their uneasy resting ground, then energy drop and the fight died down in both of them.

"I trust you." Max said more softly but Alec wasn't looking at her.

"No you don't. You look at me and you see Manticore." Max's anger flared again and she made a move to hit him again.

"You're the one accusing me of being Manticore!" Alec's hand shot out and grabbed in mid swing pulling her close enough to get in her face.

"We're both Manticore, you have to stop running away from that." The heat between their bodies was immense and the air sparked and crackled around them. Max stepped up to the challenge, squashing his attempt to intimidate her.

"We're not like them, we've left them behind. When are you going to finally let them go!"

"You can burn the place down as many times as you like Max, but it'll never truly be gone."

Alec's face was inches from hers, his hand clamped tightly around her lower arm keeping her prisoner in front of him. Suddenly Max felt something shift in the atmosphere around them. She searched his face and found that some kind of realisation had slipped in and taken over from his anger. His heart was beating faster than it had been whilst they fought. Their bodies were so close and their breath laboured. Suddenly Alec let her go and stepped back.

"I'm not trying to recreate Manticore. I'm just dealing with things the only way I know how." The fight was over.

"If only there was another way..." Alec turned to look at her realising she was offering to work on a compromise. It was then that reality really did settle around them and they took in the destruction they had created.

"You didn't really like that coffee table did you?" Alec said absently rubbing the back of his neck.

"You know, this place needed a clean anyways."

"Yeah, " Alec laughed. "If OC had said you were this messy I would never have offered to shack up with you."

"Hey! Those pizza boxes are yours." Max dropped her act and smiled shyly, Alec beamed. Things were back to normal it seemed. "I'm sorry." Max said genuinely, Alec waved it off.

"We're going to be a picture at tomorrow's meeting." He said checking himself over. From what he could see he was cut, a bit bloody but mostly just bruised. Max didn't look much better but they were soldiers, to them this was nothing.

"Are we okay?"

"Yeah." Alec smirked "Well, once we get cleaned up. You have one hell of a right hook Max."

"You're not so bad yourself. Either you're getting better or you've been holding out on me." Alec laughed.

"Who am I to deprive you of your favourite hobby. If you didn't have anyone's ass to kick, then you'd never have any fun at all."

That moment as she looked at him, she knew it was the perfect moment to hug him to, it would give both their battered bodies and bruised souls a strength they probably needed but she hesitated. She was afraid. Now that there was no anger to hide behind, she was afraid of getting to close to him.

Before she could analyse this thought too much a trickle of blood fell from her forehead over her eyes distracting her. Alec dashed off to the bathroom only to return a moment later with a warm wet towel to clean her up with.

Seeing as all the seating in that room had been demolished they settled for sitting on the end of her bed. Max sat rigidly as Alec tended to her cuts. She should have refused, she should have said she didn't need his help, that she could do it herself. But no, she had to prove something. She had to show him that they were ok, and she had to prove to herself that he didn't affect her in anyway. Which was obviously not true.

He slowly slipped his finger along her scalp through her hair checking for any injuries hidden by her luscious chocolate mane and it just felt so good. Max closed her eyes and tried to focus on something else but then his hands slipped down to the bottom of her shirt and started to lift the hem. Her eyes snapped open and she jumped away from him.

"What are you doing!" Alec looked amused.

"You're shirt's pretty messed up, maybe you should take it off." he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"So is yours!" Max huffed pointing at the tear across his chest and the purple stain below it. Alec shrugged before pulling it off over his head in one fluid motion, exposing his bear chest to an entirely unprepared Max. Max stood staring at the taut flesh before her, swallowing as she watch Alec trail a finger along the scratches marring his beautiful golden plains. Max felt a heat creep up her neck and colour her cheeks, surely she wasn't going into heat again! either way Alec had to leave and now.

"Alec! if you're going to expose yourself, go do it somewhere else!" Alec chuckled looking at her flustered face.

"I take my top off and it's already too much for you?" Max glared.

"Get out! moron!" Alec picked up his shirt and left laughing.

"Good night Max." He closed the door not waiting for an answer.

After a moment her body started to cool again. She felt betrayed by her own skin. Was she having some crazy reaction to Alec? This conspiracy mounted against her was becoming really tiring. But Max was stubborn, she refused to be beaten by this. She flopped herself down on the bed and stared at the ceiling and just listened. It was quiet, but she could hear him moving about in his room. She often listened for him. he needed more sleep than she did due to a variation in their genetic makeup so she often got to hear him sleep whilst she was wide awake. She found his deep regular breathing to be soothing. It had been similar with Original Cindy, she used to focus herself on the sounds of her friends even breaths to get to sleep. Tonight though, despite the emotionally and physically draining fight, she was wide awake.

When she was sure he'd gone to sleep she got up and snuck across to his room. She stood in the doorway and watched him as he slept, apparently oblivious to his audience. He looked at peace, safe from the troubles of his waking life. She smiled to herself absently admiring the way the light from the doorway played across his handsome features, now softened in sleep.

It then hit her; she was attracted to him, that was it, that had to be it. That had to be what was getting everything so complicated, so confused. She was just appreciating his assets. That was it. It didn't mean anything, she was attracted to lots of people, it didn't mean anything...

Cleopatra was no longer the Queen of denial.

A/N: sorry it took me a while, but here it is for your viewing pleasure. I hope you like it. Please let me know how I'm doing. Is there room for improvement? does it work? is it really frustrating and you just want me to get to the point:) xxx