My maids helped me get ready for bed , but I wasn't ready to go to sleep . I picked up my violin and began to play, getting lost in the music when I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye . It was Maxon with a camera to his face standing in the doorway that linked our rooms.

"You're so beautiful," he said, lowering his camera.

Blushing, I put my violin back in its case and walked to him. He set his camera down on my desk wrapping his arms around me burying his face into my neck. My arms naturally wrapped around his waist. He kissed my neck and I pulled him into me feeling his warmth and breathing deeply the scent of his cologne. Dizzy in his love my hands moved to his shirt without thinking I untucked it and started to unbutton it from the bottom up. It has been so busy lately that every moment together feels like I'm stealing a king who is needed by our people in the wake of such cosmic shifts to the monarchy. His hands traced down my arms still kissing my neck and along my jaw. I'd opened his shirt and mimic his tracing movement down his arms removing his shirt as I went. It hit the floor as his lips met mine making my knees begin to buckle at how much I needed him and I reached my arms around to his back gripping hard to keep my balance … instantly his warmth disappeared, everything that was melting from the heat of the moment turned to ice and stone and his hands instantly Sought purchase on the door frame and desk to steady himself.

My mind still drunk off his kiss couldn't make sense of what just happened , lost and confused my legs gave way and plopped rather ungracefully on to the floor . The hard thump on the floor released Maxon from his body's stone prison and he dropped down to both knees beside me . I felt myself crying but I didn't understand what just happened . I couldn't think at all.. everything felt like it was spinning .

"America." He said softly .

I stopped sobbing but still couldn't form words or thoughts .

"America. " his voice steadying and comforting . "America I'm so sorry ." He warmed his voice and sat beside me . " I'm not used to someone touching my back not trying to inflict pain."

I looked deep into his chocolate brown eyes, they echoed what I felt lost, hurt , and confused.

" I would never hurt you. You have never stopped me like that before." I said surprised at the steadiness of my own voice. Despite how I must look crumpled on the floor full of tears. He reached out and grabbed my shoulders bringing me into a hug whispering in my ear … " I know … , I know … , my heart knows. But my back has known so much pain. Your touch didn't hurt , but it's like my brain misfired… my brain expected it to hurt . I don't know why … I love you America."

I looked into his eyes and kissed his cheek. I could see he was hurting and I didn't understand it , but accepted it because of the truth In his eyes . He helped me up off the floor in silence for a few minutes. We both sat on the edge of my bed . Finally my brain started to regain rational thoughts .

"Maxon, am I the only one who knows about your scars ?"

He was quiet for a long time.

"You're the only one who knows the truth. Though Dr. Asher may suspect the answer to many of his unanswered questions." He said , looking like he wanted to disappear.

"America, my back is shameful, it's every mistake I've ever made in ugly gashes …"

I moved and put my hand over his mouth to hush him , clearly he didn't have siblings who had done this to him many times before like I have … I moved off the bed and knelt down in front of him where he was seated on the bed . His head was bowed and his eyes downcast with his hair falling hiding them from me almost completely.

"Maxon, nothing about you could ever be ugly . Look at me , " he moved his head to face me . " I love everything that you are , that includes your past. I have scars too ". Moving the sleeve of my nightgown so he could see the small bullet scar there. "Scars do not diminish how much I love you , or how much I want you . Nothing ever will"

All the icy stone weighing on him he'd been carrying since my hands slipped around his back fell away.

"America, I can't believe the thoughts that uncontrollably filled my head instantly when I felt you grip my back. It's like when your fingers touched me every repulsion I ever felt about my back suddenly became yours, I could see you there , beautiful and perfect,how could you ever want to love someone so ruined. The first time you said you loved me was when you touched them, shocking me. At that moment I so madly wanted to make love to you that I ignored what I felt then . But even then I felt repulsive … because for so long I have hidden them because of the shame I've felt . but tonight I couldn't make my mind obey my heart like before."

I kissed the top of his head and walked over to where his shirt was still on the floor bringing it back to him . He took it in his hands and started to put it on then stopped.

"America, I don't want to hide anything from you , I don't want there to be walls between us . " he tossed the shirt aside and grabbed my hands and wrapped them around himself placing my hands almost instinctively on the most raised areas of his back. I didn't move, I let him adjust . He looked into my eyes and kissed me passionately and after a few seconds before I realized it I was moving my hands slowly and tentatively at first then tracing over the rises and falls like a map of his past moving my fingers along them reassuring him that his future is with me and that I want him badly .

Before I was ready he slowed our kisses .

" just a few more days till the wedding … I want to do things right ."