"Tony, please-"
"I don't want to hear it, Steve!" Tony yelled, his knuckles white from gripping the doorknob.
It had been a week since Tony had had the nightmare and he had fully recovered. Thankfully, he hadn't had another except for last night, but it was about some weird conscious banana that really wanted to kill him for some reason. He'd never look at bananas the same again after that.
So, all in all, he was doing pretty well. Nothing particular interesting was happening in his life except for the fact that Steve Rodgers, also known as Captain America, the leader of the Avengers was at his door, arguing with him.
"Tony, please, just listen to me! You built a suit of iron in a cave- you flew, you had fire, Tony, you were powerful! We need you on the team!" Tony just rolled his eyes and tried to close the door but the captain held it open.
"I already said no!" Tony countered, struggling to close the door. "I'm not joining your super-secret-boy-band and I'm definitely not recreating that suit!"
The Captain's fingers tightened around the door and he locked Tony in a death glare, growling. "Natasha is a woman. An amazing woman at that. So don't you dare disrespect-"
"I don't care! I'm just the guy who makes the weapons, the armor. I create your tools and give you a place to live, but I will never be one of you." Tony hissed. "Do you understand?"
"But-"
"I don't care what Fury says-" Tony yelled. "I am not an Avenger and I never will be!" And he slammed the door in the Captain's face. An indignant stream of muffled curses sounded and he allowed a small smile of smug satisfaction, pushing away the rage bubbling in his gut.
He had already made his point blatantly clear so many times before, so obviously clear a blind man could see it. And yet the man missing an eye refused to accept his protests and continuously sent more and more agents to convince him.
Closing his eyes, Tony forced himself to take a deep breath. He was calm, everything was going to be alright.
After a few moments of silence, Tony opened his eyes and continued to the kitchen where he reclaimed the cup of coffee he had left on the counter when Rodgers had knocked on the door.
Nursing the mug gently, Tony took a tentative sip and leaned against the counter. He sighed, leaning his elbows on the counter.
'Isn't it obvious?' Tony thought. 'I don't want to be an Avenger!' He just wanted to scream in Fury's face and get it through his thick skull, force him to understand-
A sudden, sharp twinge in his chest almost made him drop his coffee. Cursing, Tony reacted quickly and caught the mug before it could drop and set it back on the counter.
Tony had come to terms with the pain, after Afghanistan, it had become normal; a side effect of the literal hole in his chest filled with metal.
But more recently, the usually subtle twinges had gotten sharper, more painful, more common, than he was used to. It caught him off guard more than it should've and Tony hated it.
'Sir, it appears your heart rate is elevated. Would you like me to play some breathing exercises?' JARVIS' clear English voice rang out.
"Not now, J." Tony dismissed, waving a hand half-heartedly as if shooing away the AI. Elbows on the counter, Tony dropped his head into his hands, moaning softly.
A second, slightly stronger jolt of pain seized him. It disappeared as soon as it had come, thankfully, but it had left him breathless.
"F-ck!" He yelled, glaring at an annoyingly happy flower painting his nephew had given him a few weeks ago.
'What's wrong with me?' Tony thought, feeling tears prick the corners of his eyes.
Suddenly feeling trapped, he was overcome with a need to get out. He didn't care where or how, he just needed to get out! Grabbing his car keys, he yanked open the front door and rushed out.
Rodgers, who had apparently just started walking to his car, turned around at the sound of Tony opening the front door, looking up at the shorter man with a smug smile. "You change your mind, Stark?"
Tony completely ignored the captain as he locked the front door and stormed to his silver Lamborghini.
"Tony?" The Captain's voice was quiet, gentle, and his face had morphed into something resembling concern.
Tony stopped, snarling as he turned on the blonde hero. "F-ck you, Steve Rodgers."
Steve's eyes widened in surprise, but he said nothing, watching Tony settle into the front seat.
Angrily slamming the key into the engine, Tony started the car and rolled the window down, politely flipping Steve off as he drove away.
He was about a block away from his house when the years threatened to finally fall. Tony furiously brushed them away, angry with Steve, angry with Fury, angry at himself, angry at the world.
Tears fell quickly and quietly as Tony bit his lips, keeping himself quiet. He just continued to drive.
Tony drove and drove, he drove until he didn't know where he was. He drove until the city lights had disappeared and the streetlights were few and far between. He drove until it began to rain and a weird kind of panic, a kind of I'm-panicking-but-I-also-don't-care panic. Even when his hazy mind wanted to stop and cry, he continued to drive until it was pitch black and the only lights were the stars, the moon, and the headlights of a large semi truck heading straight for him, honking loudly.
Wait.
Eyes widening, and hands clenching the steering wheel, Tony frantically swerved, desperately trying in vain to get out of the truck's path, but there was no stopping it.
The honking grew louder as Tony managed to swerve into the next lane, but it wasn't enough. With a sickening scraping sound, the semi hit the corner of the car hard enough to send it spinning. Tony yelled as his car was sent spiraling off the cliff, rolling over and over.
Metal screeched against rock, sparks flying through the dark night. Glass shattered and steel cried out in agony as it was bent out of shape, drowning out Tony's cries as the car continued to roll over and over, finally coming to a stop half in, half out of water. The car was supported by a simple wire fence and was slowly sinking, throwing Tony's pain-filled world into a world of terror.
The horrendous sounds came fewer and farther between until they stopped completely. The dust and glass settled around Tony, coating everything in a surreal, glittering powder. Amidst this wicked wonderland, Tony sat, panting heavily, his eyes glazed over and his face coated with tears and blood.
The front end of the expensive car was completely smashed, barely attached to the frame. It was incredible that Tony had even survived, the car was trashed so much it completely trapped Tony in the front seat.
Trembling still from shock, Tony felt his hands twitch. Morbidly curious, he lifted them, only to see that they were bloody, bruised, and festively decorated with cuts, but he expected nothing less from a crash like that.
Still breathing rapidly, Tony reached up to put a hand over his arc reactor, hoping to hear and feel that slight buzzing that always calmed him.
Instead, there was silence.
Tony cried out in horror, struggling to breathe as a strangled sob left his lips. If the reactor was dead, the shrapnel embedded in his chest would attack his heart and he would die.
'I'm going to die', he thought, gasping weakly for air. His mind was hazy and his body had gone numb, but he could feel the shrapnel, the pain of it's forward advance in his body.
The water from the lake had begun to seep into the car, rising quickly, filling him with the strongest wave of terror he's only felt twice before: when he was held captive in Afghanistan, and when he witnessed the thunderstorm that killed him mom and Howard.
The cave, the water, rising, space... it's cold. It's all cold. So, so cold.
The water is rising and it's cold and it's going to slowly kill him.
Tony gasped and spluttered, fear overtaking any comprehensive thought except 'I'm going to die'. The panic reached an all-total high and his chest started to tighten, his breathing grew shallower and more rapid until he passed out altogether.
His last coherent thought was that he was going to die, and no one would ever know.