Author: TemporaryUniverse
WC: 3,486 (26,640 Total)

A.N. I realized I forgot to post the last chapter so you get two today.

Buckle up, folks, this one gets painful.

TW: torture, gore, body horror, minor character death

Sidious continued to spar with him. Training him, he realized.

He was unlike anyone Obi-Wan had ever fought, highly skilled and much stronger than his appearance would suggest, and completely unpredictable. It took all Obi-Wan's focus to keep up with him, and even then he was constantly on the defensive, unable to launch his own attacks.

He was slowly getting better, though, gaining more control of his body and relearning the skills he had lost. Their duels lasted minutes now instead of seconds. And each time, the Sith gave him the same deal: win and be free, or lose and face punishment. He accepted every time. And every time, Sidious would beat him down until he couldn't get up again.

One day, Sidious didn't take his lightsaber back from him at the end of their training. He didn't offer an explanation either, walking away without a word. Obi-Wan cautiously put the saber on his belt and took it back to his rooms. And when he brought it to their next training session, the Sith still said nothing.

It was some kind of test. More of Sidious' mind games, only Obi-Wan couldn't figure out what the purpose was. Perhaps he wanted Obi-Wan to attempt another escape, now that he had a weapon, so he could drag him back again and torture him with the mask some more. It would be useless to try, Obi-Wan knew. He still had the tracker. He wasn't truly free, no matter how long of a leash he had been given.

He was able to keep the same schedule of visiting Padmé once a week, which he was incredibly grateful for. Spending time with Luke and Leia, he was able to forget, for a few hours, the pain he was in. They were the only thing keeping his sanity from being torn out by the roots. Them and Qui-Gon, the real one anyway, not the hallucination that still threw caustic remarks his way. He thought about the glowbugs on Erebus often.

He was clinging to the Jedi Code by his fingertips. He had always been stubborn, and right now all that stubbornness was concentrated on remaining in the Light. Sidious didn't seem frustrated that his would-be apprentice hadn't Fallen yet. If anything, he was amused.

Obi-Wan knew he was planning something. A constant dread had settled in his chest, a worry each time he walked into the training room that this would be the day that whatever it was would be revealed.

It finally happened a month in.

Sidious got him on his knees before him, panting, his lightsaber on the other side of the room.

"Recite the Sith Code."

He blinked, fists clenching on his lap, his eyes flicking up to search the Sith's face. Sidious hadn't asked him in a while, not since before the mask.

"Why would I do that?"

"I can always put the mask back on," the Sith threatened.

Obi-Wan felt fear flare in him. He weighed it against his desire not to give in to Sidious' demands. He shouldn't. But he couldn't take the mask again. It would destroy him.

He lifted his chin, his heart pounding, and took a deep breath.

"Peace is a lie," he said through gritted teeth, pulling the words from his scattered memory and shuddering at the pain that accompanied them. "There is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me."

Just words. They were just words, like "Master" was. He could say them and mean nothing.

Sidious smiled.

"If I had known the mask would be all it would take for your cooperation, I would have put it on much earlier."

"And deprive yourself of the hands-on torture? That doesn't sound very Sithly of you," Obi-Wan retorted.

"I have been lenient with you so far, Obi-Wan—"

"You call that lenient?" He couldn't help but interrupt. Sidious continued as though he hadn't.

"No longer. It's time we curb your impertinence."

"Going to beat it out of me? What makes you think that will work?" Some part of his mind was telling him to shut up, he was pressing the boundaries too hard, but the other part needed to reclaim any control he could get.

"I think we'll try something more… creative."

Sidious raised a hand and Obi-Wan felt the Force grip him, lifting him and immobilizing his entire body. He struggled, but as always it was useless. The Sith pulled out his knife, and Obi-Wan abruptly remembered a comment from months ago. He hoped he was wrong, but some gut feeling told him he wasn't.

"This really isn't necessary." He swallowed heavily, his lungs stuttering a bit. "I can—I can be quiet."

"It's a little late for that, now, isn't it?"

"Master—" He tried, a last, desperate attempt.

"Hush." Obi-Wan shut up, jaw clenching, fear a tight knot in his throat. "Open his mouth," the Sith ordered Cody.

While Sidious held his head still with the Force, Cody wrenched open his mouth. He strained against them, panting, and watched Sidious finger the knife as he approached. The Sith grasped his tongue tightly and placed the edge of the blade against the base of it, just behind his teeth. Obi-Wan whined as he began to slowly slice through his flesh, blood and pain flooding his mouth. Blood and saliva ran down his throat as the blade continued to cut through the muscle and he gave a gargled scream. With a final jerk of the knife, his tongue was severed completely, and Sidious tossed it to the side. Cody let go and Obi-wan's head dropped to his chest, blood pouring out of his open mouth, coating his chin and dripping down his neck. Tears spilled from his eyes as he choked and coughed, splattering the floor with his blood.

The power holding him there abruptly let go and he fell to the ground like a stone.

"Bring him to the med droids," Sidious instructed the clone, sounding very smug. "He is not allowed to die."

Obi-Wan decided that then was a good time to pass out.

He awoke strapped to a medical cot, his mouth swollen and painful. He could taste the lingering notes of blood and bacta and feel a tube going through his nose and down his throat. His attempt at swallowing brought tears to his eyes. He choked on spit and sent himself into a coughing fit, sinking back into the pillows when it ended.

He'd been a fool. He should have known Sidious would get tired of his comments and stopped pushing far sooner.

His next breath was more of a sob and he clamped down on it, willing himself not to cry. His entire body tensed with the effort, fists clenched by his sides, but a low noise of pain and grief escaped him and the dam broke.

He ran out of tears eventually, not feeling any better after the release of his emotions. Utterly exhausted, he turned his head and stared at the wall, steadfastly ignoring Anakin standing in the corner of the room.

"Oh, Obi-Wan," a familiar voice said. He blinked, refocusing his gaze on the blue-tinged figure of his Master by his bedside. The blue aura was the only way he could tell it was actually Qui-Gon and not the hallucination. That, and this Qui-Gon didn't hate him. Unless, of course, both versions were hallucinations.

He answered without thinking. "Mahhh—" was what came out of his mouth and he cut the garbled sound off immediately, feeling the wetness return to his eyes.

"Shh. It's okay. I'm so sorry." Qui-Gon reached out as if to touch him, but they both knew he couldn't. It had been so long since Obi-Wan had been touched kindly by anyone and he was so tired. He just wanted the pain to end.

But then, he wanted a lot of things, all of them out of his reach. Life wasn't so kind.

He spent days in the med center, being fed nutrient liquid through a tube and struggling to learn how to swallow again, getting used to the strange sensation of emptiness in his mouth. He kept forgetting and opening his mouth to talk to 2-1B-95, and then catching himself when he remembered he couldn't. At least he knew how to use Galactic Sign Language, and the med droid was programmed to understand it.

2-1B-95 released him eventually, once the feeding tube had come out and he had gotten better at swallowing the nutrient liquid on his own.

Can I see Padmé? He asked when Cody came to get him. He had taught his Commander and several other troopers GSL during the war, when Rabbit had been deafened by an explosion. Obi-Wan had managed to get him assigned to the maintenance crew aboard the Negotiator instead of being sent back to Kamino, but they didn't have the resources to get him hearing aids, so a lot of Ghost Company had studied sign language to communicate with their brother.

The memory of it made Obi-Wan ache for the presence of the 212th, all of them likely either dead or forced to serve the Empire like Cody was. He never thought he would miss the war, and he didn't, not really, but he did miss his troopers.

Cody agreed to let him visit Padmé, thankfully, and escorted him there.

"Obi-Wan!" She exclaimed when she opened the door. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you would be coming. I just put the twins to sleep."

He smiled weakly as she gestured him in.

"Are you alright?" She asked once the door was closed and it was just the two of them.

Do you know GSL? He signed. Her brow furrowed.

"I didn't catch that."

He signed it again, slower this time.

"Only some," she replied hesitantly. "I can learn, though. Why? What happened?"

He raised his hands, trying to figure out what to tell her, and they trembled.

My tongue.

Padmé looked confused. He reluctantly opened his mouth, letting her see, and she gasped, hand flying to her own mouth.

"Obi-Wan…" She breathed. "Stars. He…"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, sensing Padmé approach him.

"Obi-Wan… Can I—can I hug you?"

His breath hitched, sticking in his throat. He nodded.

Her arms wrapped around him, tentative at first, but they tightened when he returned the gesture. He clung to Padmé, feeling rather pathetic for doing so, but the bigger part of him that needed the comfort didn't care. Padmé was warm against him, her head pressed to his chest, and it leeched the tension from his body, letting him relax into the touch.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. He shook his head, trying to convey that he didn't deserve her sympathy.

It had been his own fault. Sidious had warned him and he'd gone and hung himself, forgotten, just for one, ill-considered second, exactly how much power the Sith held over him.

It was Obi-Wan who pulled away first, not because he wanted the hug to end, but because the urge to see Luke and Leia was overwhelming.

She led him to the cribs, and he looked down at their sleeping faces. They had grown so much, now eight months old, still little beacons of light in the darkness. So peaceful. Innocent.

He stood there for a long time, watching them sleep, wishing he could find that same peace.

Empire Day. That's what they were calling it now. The anniversary of the worst day of Obi-Wan's life. A celebration of the fall of democracy and the genocide of his people. One year since he had murdered the most important person in his life and lost everything. It had been taken from him, taken by the man whose throne he now stood beside.

He had never felt less like a Jedi. It felt like he was betraying them. Betraying everything they stood for.

Palpatine was giving some grand speech about the glory of the Empire, broadcasting it on every channel across the galaxy. Obi-Wan couldn't bring himself to listen to it. If he did, he didn't think he would be able to keep his composure, and if he stepped out of line here, Sidious would take it out on Padmé and the twins.

So, he wore his Imperial uniform, the black stark against his pale skin and the white of the Imperial Crest on his sleeve, and he stood silent at Sidious' right hand.

"…the Jedi traitors…" Obi-Wan raised his head to look at Sidious as the words filtered through. "…attempted to overthrow myself and the Republic and take that power for their own. Their treasonous plot was uncovered, and the traitors defeated. And still, the last survivors of the Jedi seek to destroy the Empire, to bring back war to the galaxy! Two of them have been captured by our loyal Stormtroopers, and now they will stand trial for their crimes as a reminder of the might of the Empire!"

The doors at the other end of the room opened, and he turned to see two people walk in, escorted by a squad of troopers. They weren't dressed in Jedi tunics, but he knew, even without Sidious' words, even with their Force signatures dampened by suppressant cuffs…

Jedi.

There were Jedi that had survived the Purge. If these two had, then perhaps there were others.

The woman looked at him and her eyes widened.

"Master Kenobi?" Her presence reached out to him, so very light, and so very alive. He didn't recognize her, or the man for that matter, but they both looked barely old enough to be Knights, if they had even been Knighted. He didn't know them but he was connected to them in all the ways that mattered. His hands trembled and he couldn't stop himself from reaching back, even though he knew his own presence was darkened. Tainted.

He felt her recoil, and then she carefully returned, projecting nothing but compassion at him. His breathing hitched, his eyes burning with tears he held back.

"Dorn Tavers and Sia-Lan Wezz you have been charged with sedition against the Galactic Empire." Obi-Wan tensed, his jaw clenched as he realized what was coming. "You have confessed to being a part of the Jedi Order and acting against the interests of the Empire." He couldn't breathe. This couldn't be happening. He had to do something. But Padmé… "The penalty for your crimes is execution." No, no, no. He couldn't… He couldn't let them die.

He took a step forward, hand drifting towards his lightsaber even though he didn't have a plan, he just knew he couldn't stand by and watch.

An invisible pressure wrapped around his neck, a warning and a threat all in one, and he hesitated.

"It's alright, Master Kenobi. I forgive you," Sia-Lan said. "For whatever he is making you do, I forgive you." But Obi-Wan wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he let this happen.

At a signal from Sidious, the troopers stepped forward, blasters raising.

"You may kill us," Dorn said, lifting his chin. "But the Jedi will live on."

Obi-Wan threw himself forward, only to discover that he couldn't move. He strained against the Force holding him in place, but it was useless. Desperate, he closed his eyes and shoved with the Force, sending the troopers tumbling to the floor. Sia-Lan and Dorn didn't hesitate, they turned and ran.

They made it to the door, and for a moment, Obi-Wan thought they would escape, for a moment he dared to hope. But the door didn't open. Obi-Wan dove into the Force again, trying to tear it open, but something Dark kept it sealed. He clawed at Sidious' presence but the Sith was stronger than he was and the barrier held.

The troopers were back up now, approaching the Jedi, who spun around. Sia-Lan's eyes met Obi-Wan's across the room and he saw no fear, only a grim acceptance of her fate. There was nothing Obi-Wan could do but watch as the blasters fired.

Two bright lights winked out.

He bowed his head, the Force hold on him vanishing.

Sidious said something else, ending the broadcast, but Obi-Wan was unable to hear him over the ringing in his ears. Grief made his breath stutter in a painful, uneven rhythm. Tears slipped silently down his face, though he barely noticed them. He stared at the bodies where they lay until he couldn't bear to look anymore.

He turned his head to see Sidious rising from his throne and coming towards him. Rage flowed from him in jagged waves, suffocating in the Force, and if Obi-Wan had the capacity to feel anything other than all-consuming despair he would have shaken with dread and fear. He didn't know what expression was on his face, it felt too numb, but he was certain that the Sith could read him easily.

Sidious raised his hands and Obi-Wan only had a split second of preparation before he was writhing on the ground, lightning spiking through his veins and making his limbs jerk and spasm. He screamed as the terrible pain went on and on, his heart hurting for a different reason now, almost as bad as the grief had been.

When it ended, he lay there limply, his heart beating too fast against his ribs and his thoughts syrupy slow and distant.

"That was very foolish of you, Obi-Wan. You were not to interfere." Sidious' voice filtered through to him. "I told you there would be consequences." Obi-Wan closed his eyes, berating himself for his stupidity. He'd known the attempt was doomed to fail and he'd done it anyway.

Padmé.

Obi-Wan whimpered out two noises that were supposed to sound like "Please," and "No," but fell woefully short, and turned a pleading look on the Sith.

"Of course, there is another option." His brow furrowed as he tried to puzzle out what Sidious was going to say. "Open your mind to me and Amidala keeps her children."

Nausea rolled through him. Sidious had spent days trying to Force his way through Obi-Wan's shields, and keeping him out was the one victory he'd had over the Sith Lord. Eventually, Sidious had seemed to accept it, but Obi-Wan should have known better than to think he would be satisfied with that.

He didn't want to let the Sith in, his mind was the only thing left to him. It was damaged and weakened, but it was still his. If he let down his shields it wouldn't be. There would be no keeping the Darkness out.

Sidious would own him, mind, body, and soul.

But he wasn't going to allow the twins to be separated from their mother.

He swallowed, took a deep breath, and focused on his mind. His aching heart beat more rapidly and moisture collected in the corners of his eyes.

And then he lowered his shields. It hurt, the world bombarding his senses, pounding at his mind as the protective barrier between him and the galaxy fell away. The Dark seemed so much stronger, and it took everything in him to wait, open. Vulnerable. After a moment, Sidious' presence coiled around him, cold enough to burn. His body shook with the tension of fighting against the instinct to slam his shields back up. The shadows crept into him, a layer of ice forming around his thoughts and conscience, tendrils wrapping around the core of him, invading his soul until all he could see and feel was darkness. He was drowning in it, choking on fear and pain.

He felt something tug at him, a sharp pain at the back of his mind, and then Sidious withdrew. Immediately, he threw his shields back up, as strong as he could make them, shutting everything out. He opened his eyes and realized he was shivering as though he'd just been tossed in a frozen lake.

Obi-Wan could still sense the Dark, it sat at the edge of his mind, coiled up there like a serpent waiting to strike. It was a bond, he realized. A bond to Sidious. He tasted bile. He tugged at it, testing, but it was rooted deeply, tangled around delicate memories.

"Hello, Apprentice."

He let out a soft noise of distress.

Sidious sat back down on his throne and his cold presence nudged at Obi-Wan's mind. Obi-Wan shuddered but didn't otherwise move and the Sith pressed harder. He cried out at the feeling of another's will exerting itself on his own. There was nothing he could do but force himself up and stumble over to the throne, kneeling down beside it.

His new awareness of the Sith turned darkly satisfied.

He let his mind go blank, and Sidious allowed it, although Obi-Wan knew he could tell. He sat there silently, his attention drifting far away as Sidious governed his Empire from his black throne.

A.N. Obi-Wan really should've learned to shut his mouth...

Things I learned researching for this chapter:
-You have tastebuds everywhere in your mouth, not just your tongue
-You can learn to talk without a tongue in most cases. Obi-Wan won't. Sidious isn't giving him a speech therapist, the whole point is for him to not talk. He already knows GSL for the most part so he doesn't really need it to communicate.
-Without your tongue, it is very easy to aspirate food/water/saliva (meaning it goes into your lungs), you have to train to swallow again.
-Total glossectomy (complete removal of the tongue), requires reconstructive surgery and sometimes removal of the larynx. Luckily, Obi-Wan had a partial.

Sia-Lan and Dorn are canon (legends) characters that survived Order 66. Vader kills Sia-Lan in the year afterward, but I couldn't find how Dorn died.

Things don't really go well for Obi-Wan in this chapter, but at least he knows there're other Jedi out there?