For an idea of the song I was thinking of when I wrote the dream sequence check out What Was I Thinking by Theory of a Deadman.
Chapter 3: What Was I Thinking?
"This song is dedicated to my one and only, baby I hope you can forgive me," Naruto said into the microphone before he started playing a love song. It was the type of song that he'd heard so many times before when Naruto had messed up. It always seemed to work and he knew it. If Sasuke were smart he wouldn't even be there to watch him perform. He should stay as far away as possible, but it was impossible to walk away so he just sat there and listened to his apology once again.
Sasuke wanted to believe that he wouldn't forgive him, but as he looked down at his soulmate mark he knew that was a lie. He bit his lip as he heard the lyrics basically begging for forgiveness. It was saying that even though he cheated on him again, he only really wanted him. He continued to stare at his mark, remembering how badly it had hurt when Naruto had been with someone else while he was away on tour. It would have been one thing if it were just once, but it seemed like he was apologizing every night that they had a show. Every time he got high and was looking for some release and then the next day he'd call him up saying he was sorry and promising it was the last time. He promised he'd get clean and get his act together, but he never did. Yet somehow Sasuke couldn't find it in himself to walk away.
Naruto smiled at him when he got off stage and saw Sasuke was sitting in the crowd. He made his way to him and grabbed his hand, wordlessly asking him to follow him to somewhere more secluded. Sasuke didn't resist and let himself be pulled outside. "You promised," Sasuke said softly.
"I'm sorry, I was an idiot," Naruto pulled him close. "It won't happen again."
His mind told him to push him away and walk away, but his heart made him move closer. "You've said that before," he reminded him with tears threatening to fall. He felt so weak, but the pull to Naruto felt too strong to walk away from. They were soulmates and he was sure that if Naruto could get clean then things would get better. "You need help."
"Baby, I'm trying, I swear," the blond had been trying to get clean, but he continually fell off the wagon. It made Sasuke wonder just how hard he was actually trying. It seemed like he'd come home and be fine for a while but every time he went on tour it was the same story and it only seemed to be getting worse.
"Come home and stay," Sasuke tried to sound demanding, but it came out more like a plea. "Don't go back on tour, please," he wanted the man he'd first met back. He wanted the Naruto from before they got signed and started touring all of the time. The Naruto he had before he got addicted.
"This is my dream," Naruto argued. He knew that Sasuke didn't want to take away his dream. "It's everything I've worked for," he loved Sasuke and didn't want to be forced to choose. "Don't do this, don't make me choose between you and my dream."
Sasuke licked his lips, worried about which one Naruto would choose if he gave him that ultimatum. He was pretty sure he didn't want the answer to that question. While Sasuke was ready to give everything to be with Naruto, he wasn't sure Naruto was willing to do the same. Sasuke just nodded, part of him wishing he were strong enough to leave, "I won't, but you can't keep doing this. It's not fair to either of us and you're going to get yourself killed if you keep doing drugs. You need to get clean."
"I promise, I'll get clean," Naruto promised, though they both knew it was an empty promise. Sasuke just nodded again, trying to convince himself that maybe this time would be different.
Sasuke woke up with a groan. He hated that dream. He hated how weak he had been in his past life and refused to ever fall for some cheap words. He didn't believe a word his soulmate said, no matter how genuine it may sound. They say to learn from your past life so you don't make the same mistake and that was what he was doing. Naruto may be determined to make him see they're meant to be, but he was more determined to keep space between them.
"You must have been exhausted if you fell asleep on the couch," Suigetsu interrupted his thoughts. Sasuke didn't even remember falling asleep, yet there he was in the clothes he'd worn that day, lying on the couch. "Another soulmate dream?" he asked.
"That's all I dream about," Sasuke huffed in frustration. "You're lucky you don't have those dreams," he frowned. It had only been a week since he'd met Naruto and the man was already making him exhausted. Between having to work with him and the man's constant attempts to talk to him, he was getting annoyed with the blond.
Suigetsu hummed, "Some would say you're the lucky one now that you've found your soulmate." The light haired man knew that Sasuke didn't want to hear it, but he was considered one of the lucky ones. Some people went their entire lives not meeting their soulmate and Sasuke was in the minority of people that didn't want to meet their soulmate. Most people would kill to be in his shoes, even if it meant having the kind of dreams he had each night.
"Don't call him that," the dark haired man said, annoyed with the term. He wished he'd never met the man. "I don't think that I've ever hated someone so much in my life," he put his head in his hands, wishing he could get one peaceful night sleep without dreaming about a certain blond.
"You don't even really know him," Suigetsu countered as he sat next to Sasuke. "I know you, you probably shut him down any time he even thinks of opening his mouth to talk to you about anything other than work," they had known each other long enough for Suigetsu to know that Sasuke would avoid things he didn't want to confront at any cost. He was determined and wouldn't give up when he wanted something, but if he didn't want it then he tended to run away.
"That's because every time he opens his mouth something about us being soulmates comes out of it," he frowned. He didn't need to be reminded of the fact that they were soulmates. "I can't get away from him. I go to work and he's there. I go to sleep and he's there. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if some day I come home to find him here," he just wanted to go back to how it was before. He wanted to only see the blond when he closed his eyes, not have him invade his day to day life.
Suigetsu wished he could help his friend, but he knew that until he accepted that the blond might not be the same man as the man in his dreams, he'd never get peace. "I've told you a million times, he's not the same guy that's in your dreams. They're different people and you won't know if he's like that Naruto unless you get to know him," he wanted Sasuke to be happy and hoped that this Naruto wouldn't be a let down.
Sasuke shook his head, "And what if I'm as weak as that Sasuke and can't walk away even if he is?"
"Weak has never been a term used to describe you," Suigetsu laughed. "Stubborn? Yes. Asshole? Definitely. Weak? No."
"Was that supposed to be reassuring? You literally just called me a stubborn asshole," the dark haired man let out a frustrated sigh as he looked at his best friend.
"I mean, if the shoe fits, wear it," Suigetsu laughed again as Sasuke slapped his shoulder. "No need to get violent," he loved how worked up Sasuke got over the whole soulmate issue. He was pretty sure it was because Sasuke was more curious about it than he'd ever admit. He knew that Sasuke hated that he wanted to know more about the blond. "You're just hurting yourself if you don't at least take the chance. What's the worst that could happen?" he asked.
"I could get my heart broken," Sasuke mumbled, looking away. He didn't want to show that kind of vulnerability to anyone. "It doesn't matter, it's not happening," Sasuke told him as he got up and started heading towards his room to go to bed. Despite not wanting to drift off to more dreams, he was exhausted and wasn't going to force himself to stay awake, though it wouldn't be the first time he did so in order to avoid dreaming of the blond.
Suigetsu just watched him leave with a frown. He wondered how mad Sasuke would be at him if he took it upon himself to meet Naruto. Just to see what kind of man he was and if he'd show his true colors if Sasuke weren't there or if he was genuinely interested in being with Sasuke. He first needed to figure out how to find the blond. His eyes widened as he remembered Sasuke mention Naruto's pink haired stylist, it was then his mind hatched a plan.
Meanwhile, Naruto was sprawled out on his own couch, physically and emotionally exhausted. It seemed like no matter how much he tried to break through the other man's walls he was shut out. "It's like talking to a brick wall," he complained to Sakura and his best friend, Kiba.
Kiba rolled his eyes at the other man. It was at least the third time they'd had the same conversation within one week. Kiba didn't understand his obsession with soulmates. He had a weak bond with his soulmate and didn't care if he found them or not. He was pretty sure his soulmate was either in a relationship or got around a lot with how often they seemed to have sex, though it wasn't like Kiba was any better and the pain in his arm wasn't anything more than a mild annoyance when it happened. The man was attractive enough to gain attention from men and women that were in his same position. His dog, Akamaru, tended to get a lot of attention, attracting plenty of women. The brunet was one of those people that had a "happy ending" with his soulmate in his past life so he had no idea what the person looked like or even if it were a man or a woman. "From what you've told me, it seems like you always bring up the one thing he doesn't want to talk about," Kiba ran his hand through his somewhat messy hair, not really caring how he looked when he was just hanging out with Naruto and the blonde's crazy roommate.
Naruto sighed, "Is it my fault that I want to have some sort of relationship with my soulmate? Isn't that what it's all about?" Being a hopeless romantic wasn't helping his cause when it came to Sasuke. He knew that brining up the fact that they were soulmates wasn't what the other man wanted to hear, but he couldn't help but have the conversation drift to that aspect of their relationship. He knew that Sasuke could feel the pull just as much as he did, it was part of having a strong bond and it only got worse the more time they spent together.
"Kiba's right," Sakura sighed. She hated to admit it when he was right, it always caused a smug smirk to appear on his face. "You can't bring up that you're soulmates with him, you need to work up to that. Be his friend first," she suggested. Sakura felt bad for him, she knew how badly he had wanted to meet his soulmate and make up for everything that had happened in their past lives. While she didn't know the whole story about what had happened in his past life, she knew it wasn't good.
Naruto huffed, "It's not that easy. You don't understand, you haven't met your soulmate yet." He didn't mean to come off rude, but he was frustrated by his friends' lack of understanding. He thought that if they met their own soulmates then they might understand better.
Sakura had an average bond with her soulmate from what she could tell. It hurt if they were with someone else and she wanted to find them, but she wasn't at the level of desperation that Naruto had always been to find his. "I get it, you want to at least try to be with him but you need to understand his point of view. Make him see that he can trust you first then gradually move towards trying to pursue a relationship with him." She didn't take offense to his words, knowing that he was just frustrated. From what he had told her, he always imagined that meeting his soulmate would be special. It had been special, just not in the way he wanted.
"That's what I've been trying to tell him," Kiba agreed. "I don't see what the big deal is with soulmates, half of the people that find them only stay together because they're soulmates. It only makes things worse. You should know that better than anyone with the dreams you've had," he scoffed. Perhaps he was a bit cynical, but he couldn't help it. His parents were soulmates and it was obvious that it was the only thing keeping them together. They were able to put on a good act that they were happy in front of other people, but behind closed doors they fought more often than not. Some might say it's because they were passionate, but he just saw it as two people that never should have married in the first place and probably wouldn't have married if it weren't for the marks on their arms. "It's so stupid, how have they not found something to make it so your arm doesn't hurt if you want to fuck someone else? It would make everyone's lives easier and we could all just forget this soulmate bullshit."
Sakura sighed, "Now that I don't agree with and you're just saying that because you're a man whore."
"Don't slut shame me," Kiba smirked. "And I prefer the term playboy," he chuckled, loving to rile her up.
"More like fuck boy," she crossed her arms.
"I think you're just jealous I get more action than you," he shrugged. There were plenty of people that either didn't really care about soulmates or wanted to have fun before they settled down once they met their soulmate so it wasn't as if you couldn't find someone willing to have a good time.
Naruto groaned, "I feel bad for your soulmate, Kiba." The brunet just laughed in response. "Just wait, once you meet them you'll understand." He wasn't sure that Kiba would given how weak his bond seemed to be, but he hoped that he would eat his words once he met his soulmate. No matter how weak of a bond you had, they were still the person that the universe made for you.
Kiba disagreed, "Nope, I'm with your soulmate on this one. Soulmates are stupid. They just put too much pressure on people to find and stay with their soulmate no matter what, even if they aren't happy."
"I don't know why I talk to you about things like this," Naruto sighed as he sat up. He understood Kiba's point of view. It was true that it seemed like the Sasuke from his past life stayed with that Naruto because they were soulmates and then when he tried to leave he died in an accident, as if the universe saw the failed relationship was just ready to start over and try again.
Kiba chuckled, "I really wish you wouldn't so if you could stop, that'd be great."
"I need better friends," Naruto mumbled to himself. He wished that he could find someone that understood, but not even his soulmate seemed to understand how he felt. It hurt that his soulmate wanted nothing to do with him after he spent so many years waiting for the day when they'd meet. Sasuke wouldn't even give him the chance to explain that he wanted to do things right and make up for all of the things that had happened in their dreams.
"Hey! I tried to help," Sakura pouted. She wished he knew how to help her friend, but she wasn't going to attempt to talk to Sasuke. The man knew how close she was with Naruto and seemed to dislike her for that reason alone.
"I know," he sighed as he got up. "I'm going to bed, you can stay and take the couch if you want," he told Kiba as he looked at the clock. It was getting late and the brunet had a long drive home.
"I'll be fine getting home," he assured him as he got up to leave. "Sweet dreams," he called out with a chuckled as Naruto flipped him off.
Even Naruto's good dreams no longer felt sweet now that he knew his soulmate didn't want him, but that wasn't going to deter him. He was going to find some way to open Sasuke's eyes to the possibility that there could be something good between them. Something more than just two coworkers. He was going to set 'Operation Woo Sasuke' into place, he just had to figure out exactly how to do it.
Let me know what you think...