Chapter 5: This Feeling
"You just going to stare at the door or do you plan to go in?" his friend ask from behind him as he put a hand on his shoulder. The man was tall, at least a few inches taller than Sasuke, with his hair dyed a vibrant shade of pink. He was dressed in an over the top outfit, even for a stereotypical gay man. He didn't care about the looks get got from his tight leather pants and pink crop top, which tied in the front, that Sasuke was pretty sure he got in the women's department. He stood out wherever he went, claiming he was just ahead of his time. Sasuke had to admit that the other man was handsome, with a strong jaw line and green eyes, though many ignored his face and instead criticized his hair and clothing with derogatory words. Meanwhile, Sasuke stood next to him in a typical man's fashion, wearing straight leg jeans and a white t-shirt with an open plaid shirt over the top. He didn't want to stand out, though he inevitably just by association with his friend.
The two men were standing in front of a bar that, while it was not technically a gay bar, it was where the LGBT community frequented. It was 1993 and the term seemed to be used frequently despite a portion of the gay and lesbian community not being as accepting of the bisexuals and transgender communities. The term gay was fading out, becoming more of an insult rather than just a term used to describe men that liked other men. "I don't know," Sasuke responded nervously. It was his first time going to what was considered a gay bar.
"It's fun, I promise," the man smiled, excited that he had finally gotten his friend to agree to go with him to the bar. "You need some stress relief, maybe you can find a hot man that'll help you with that," he winked.
"You know how much it hurts when I do," Sasuke responded as he rubbed his forearm where the soulmate mark was imprinted on his skin. He had grown up in an extremely conservative family, making it difficult to express his sexuality. Sasuke knew that if he came out to his family then they'd likely disown him, they already didn't like the fact that he was friends with an openly gay man and worried it would turn him gay, as if it were some sort of disease that someone caught by being around a gay man. It didn't matter if his soulmate was a man, in his parents eyes he'd just need to suck it up and suffer without him.
The other man sighed, "He does it enough, you might as well get some payback." He automatically didn't like Sasuke's soulmate with how much he had seen him get hurt because of the other man.
Sasuke frowned, "Isn't that kind of justice for how my past life acted? I mean, I was horrible to him. I know he has his reasons so I just need to show him I'm worthy of his love this time." He always seemed to blame himself for what his past life had done. Their bond wasn't nearly as strong in that life, but it still hurt his soulmate to know he was out there trying to forget him. That version of him wouldn't accept that his soulmate was a man and said a lot of hateful things. "I hurt him a lot and refused his advances no matter how hard he tried. I didn't care that he was hurting when I was with other people and called him a lot of things I'd rather not like to repeat," he said sadly. "Really, he probably deserves someone better," Sasuke felt like he deserved the pain he was receiving in this life. He didn't really know his own self worth and felt like he needed to be there for his soulmate no matter what he did.
"That's crazy, you're amazing," his friend argued. "Your past lives were from the were born in the 1800s and died in the 60s, it's kind of expected that there would be homophobia, your man should've expected it," he argued. It was rare, but it wasn't unheard of that people would be born in their next life as a different gender, but his dreams had made it clear that they were both men in their past lives. "Now, let's go in and have fun. Even if you don't end up with some guy, you can still have some drinks," he argued. "We can at least enjoy the eye candy. Everyone says the guys that play tonight are hot."
Sasuke finally gave in and they walked to the bar. He nervously looked around until his eyes landed on the singer of the band that was in the middle of their performance. His jaw dropped as he turned to his friend in a panic, "That's him!"
"Who's what?" his friend asked, confused as he pulled Sasuke towards the bar.
"The singer, that's the man from my dreams," he clarified, his eyes drifting back to the blond on the makeshift stage. He felt a pain in his heart when he saw the other man winking at some girls that were flirtatiously waving to him from where they were sitting near the stage. As if the man could feel Sasuke looking at him, their eyes met from across the room. The blonde's blue eyes widened and he looked like he almost stopped for a second before pulling himself back together. Sasuke shyly looked away, though he could feel that the man was continuing to look at him.
"Really?" his friend asked, not nearly as excited. "I expected him to be hotter based on how you described him," the man tried to brush off Sasuke's excitement.
The dark haired man's jaw dropped, "You're kidding, right? He's gorgeous." He looked back over to the blond and he felt as if the man were singing directly to him, though they had never met. It was some grunge rock, a genre Sasuke had never really appreciated until that moment. He knew that it was gaining some following, but he had never personally listened to it. He wasn't sure what to expect, though they had both seemed to like music in their past life, especially the blond. With the music he'd heard in his dreams, he'd expected the man to be more into pop or maybe country, not rock.
As the night continued, they continued to glance at one another, drawn to each other like a moth to a flame. His friend clearly noticed, "You should talk to him when he's done performing." He didn't want to encourage the other man to fall for his asshole soulmate, but he could see it in his eyes that it was going to happen whether he liked it or not.
"Now you're the crazy one, I can't just talk to him," Sasuke argued. "I'm pretty sure he hates me."
"He's been lusting after you all night," the other man shook his head. "I don't think he hates you," he took a sip of his drink. "Plus he's heading over here, so you better be ready," he set his empty drink down on the bar before walking away with a smirk.
"You traitor," Sasuke huffed as he turned his head to look at the blond. He hadn't even really noticed that their set had finished while he was talking. He bit his lip nervously as Naruto leaned against the bar next to him.
The blond wordlessly grabbed Sasuke's arm, looking at the mark with a smile. "I thought it was you," he said as he signaled the bar tender over. "Or at least I was hoping," he admitted. "You probably already know, but my name is Naruto," he introduced himself, his light blue eyes sparkling with a mix of lust and excitement. "Let me buy you a drink. What are you drinking tonight?" he asked.
Sasuke took a deep breath, hoping that he wouldn't stutter as he replied, "A martini." He couldn't even say his name as he looked at the blond, surprised that he could even really form words as he took in the man's appearance. His jeans were tighter than the usual fashion and red shirt clung to him like a second skin. He knew that he was hot and was flaunting what he had.
"Do you like it dirty?" Naruto asked, his tone far more suggestive than it should have been for asking about a drink.
The dark haired man nodded, "I'm Sasuke." He was trying to act cool, but was sure he was failing miserably if the smug look on the other man's face was anything to judge by.
"I know," he answered. "I'm happy to finally meet you," Naruto scanned his body. "You look even better in person," he flirted. It was clear the man in front of him was confident and it wasn't his first time hitting on people at bars with the intention to take them home. The pain Sasuke had experienced over the years had told him that it was likely a regular thing, but in that moment he didn't care. His soulmate was standing in front of him, it was what he always wanted and thought he didn't deserve.
Naruto ran his hand down Sasuke's arm, sending shivers down the dark haired man's spine. He was grateful that the man didn't hate him. "I'm a little surprised," Sasuke admitted, unable to look away from the other man.
"Hm," Naruto hummed a little. "It's not like it was you who said those things to me," the blond shrugged. "You'd never say anything like that, right?" his voice was sultry as he cupped Sasuke's face, making sure the man couldn't look away. Sasuke tried to shake his head, but Naruto wasn't settling for that, "Use your words, baby."
"No, I'd never do that," Sasuke stuttered a little bit, unused to this kind of attention. The blonde's touches were sweet and gentle, but his voice was suggestive and dangerous. It was a contrast Sasuke had never experienced and it made his heart flutter with excitement.
"Such a good boy for me," the blond smirked.
Sasuke woke up as his alarm blared through the room, suddenly wide awake as he stared at the ceiling. He'd finally had the dream of when they'd first met and it was nothing like he'd expected. Naruto made it sound like it was something innocent and sweet, but it seemed like it was leading to something far more sexual. The Naruto of his dreams was charming and knew all of the right words to say. His words were flattering and perhaps it would have taken a sweeter turn if his alarm hadn't pulled him away from his dream.
He had never understood why the Naruto in his dreams would sometimes blame him for being that way, but it made more sense once he'd heard the conversation with the friend whose name he never knew. That friend had appeared in some of his prior dreams from early in their relationship, but seemed to fade away when he dreamed of the later days of their relationship. The Naruto of his dreams had always seemed to isolate him an he'd always wondered if he were the reason that friend wasn't around in his dreams about them being further into their relationship.
It was rare for people to have multiple past lives that didn't get a happy ending. Normally people without a happy ending in their prior life didn't hear any indication that they hadn't in the prior life as well. If anything, it made him worry that it was going to be a never ending cycle of him and the blond never having a happy ending. He was sure that the blond would look at it with the idea that 'third time's the charm.'
Sasuke looked at the clock, letting out a groan as he knew he had to get out of bed to meet up with the man of his dreams. Man in his dreams, he corrected. They had very different connotations.
He found something to wear that was casual, yet professional. Sasuke wouldn't wear the tight dark jeans that he usually went for, instead opting for something looser. Something that wouldn't show off his body. His job made it so he could dress casual when he was just meeting up with the artist to discuss his schedule and make sure he got places on time. It was only when he was meeting with people that would potentially sponsor the blond that he needed to dress up. He had left his hair down that day, letting it fall to frame his face as he thought that he needed a haircut. It was a little shorter in the front and longer in the back, just above his shoulders. It almost looked like a mullet, just with his hair a little longer in the front than it would be for 'all business in the front and party in the back' that was associated with a mullet. "Hey," he greeted casually when he walked into the room where Naruto was waiting for him.
"Hey," Naruto grinned as Sasuke sat across from him. Judging by the blonde's outfit, he seemed to want to use what he had to get to Sasuke. the dark haired man didn't want to admit that it was kind of working, at least on a level of physical attraction. The other man wore borderline inappropriate pants that fit him like they were painted on. His shirt perfectly showed off his muscles and almost reminded him of the Naruto he had dreamed of the previous night. It was undeniably sexy, even with the somewhat untamed look to his hair. If he were honest, it looked much better than any slicked back or smooth style could look. "So, what's on the schedule today?" Naruto asked.
"You haven't looked?" Sasuke shook his head, not really surprised. He tried not to look at the blond, still thinking about the dream he'd had the night before, but it was difficult not to check him out a little with what he was wearing. "You have a photoshoot today in about an hour, then you'll be doing an interview, and ending the day with getting some vocal lessons in," he told him. It didn't matter how good of a singer Naruto was, the company was still of the opinion that vocal lessons could help and ensure that he was singing in a way that was healthy and wouldn't harm his ability to sing in the long run. It would likely stop after a few years, but while he was new to the company, he'd be doing them every so often.
"Sounds like a busy day," Naruto pointed out. "We could grab some dinner after, I'm sure we'll both be too exhausted to cook," he suggested. It seemed like an innocent enough suggestion, but they both knew he was trying to do.
Sasuke thought about it for a moment. He wasn't sure if it were the way the other man was dressed or if it was the soulmate instinct that made him agree, "I guess, but this isn't a date." He wasn't sure if he were telling that to himself or to Naruto. There was an undeniable pull he felt towards the other man, but he was doing everything he could to fight it.
"Of course not," Naruto smiled.
There was a moment of silence where they found each other staring a moment too long. "Right, we should get going," Sasuke said, trying not to look at the blond. The grin on Naruto's face made it obvious that he had noticed Sasuke's stare. The blond didn't say anything, he just followed him out of the door and towards the car to get to his daily schedule.
To say the day was a special kind of torture for Sasuke would be an understatement. It seemed like the photographer hated him. Or maybe it was the bedroom eyes Naruto made at the camera. The concept was meant to be sexy, make him everyone's dream man. They said it went well with the sexy sound of his most recent single. The stylists put him in different clothes throughout the photoshoot, but they all had one thing in common: they were tight. The worst one was the last when they had him in a pair of tight pants that sat low on his hips and a black blazer with only one of the buttons buttoned and nothing underneath it. It would sell magazines.
"So, should I wear this to dinner?" Naruto asked with a wink as he passed Sasuke on his way to the dressing room.
"Shut up and get ready to go for the interview," Sasuke blushed a little, making the blond laugh. There was a feeling of relief when Naruto came back wearing what he had been that morning. He really wouldn't put it past the blond to charm his way into keeping the outfit. He'd probably use the 'I'm trying to impress my soulmate' card, which very few people seemed to be immune to.
"Unfortunately, the stylist laughed when I asked her to take it home," he told Sasuke. "Of course I'd get the one stylist that's like you and has complete disregard for soulmates," he shook his head, but kept smiling.
Sasuke wasn't sure if he were serious or if he hadn't actually asked. The dark haired man looked at his phone, "We need to head out or we're going to be late." They bid farewell to the staff, thanking them as they left. Sasuke couldn't help but notice that this version of Naruto was far more respectful than his past life. He was charming and a bit playful, but so far he had never been disrespectful. He'd thank the staff as they left and make small talk with the stylist, making them never feel as if he thought he was above them, unlike many other celebrities.
Interview were always boring for Sasuke. He just had to sit there and watch them talk, making sure that Naruto didn't say anything that he shouldn't. It was his job to step in if an interviewer stepped out of line or if it seemed like Naruto was going to stay something he shouldn't say. Considering he was a new artist, Naruto was surprisingly good at interviews.
"So, are you working on anything new?" the interviewer asked. She was a pretty blonde with long hair, big brown eyes, and large lips, which Sasuke was sure were fake. She would bat her eyes and flirt with him throughout the interview, making even innocent questions sound flirtatious. Sasuke didn't want to admit that it annoyed him far more than it should considering he was the one that was against them having a romantic relationship. He just clinched his jaw and rolled her eyes when she didn't get the hint that the blond wasn't interested.
Naruto nodded excitedly, "I am. I don't want to give anything away, but I think this album will be a little different from what people expect." He didn't mention that he'd met his soulmate and it was finally giving him some inspiration to write. The blond had stayed up almost all night the night before after Sasuke had left, letting himself use the little time he had spent with Sasuke as inspiration as he accepted that his music didn't have to be happy or 'sappy,' as Sasuke would call it. He could cover the darker side of everything not turning out the way you expected.
"What do you mean by that?" she asked. Naruto's eyes flickered to Sasuke as he smiled, which she seemed to notice. "Did you meet someone?" she asked.
Luckily it wasn't live so Sasuke was about to cut in, but Naruto spoke before he was able to, "I just mean that the sound is a little different." He completely avoided the question about his love life, which they had explicitly told her wasn't a topic to be discussed during the interview. "I learned some things about myself and I feel like it's helping me grow. I want to show all sides of myself and I hope I can do that with the next album," he told her. She nodded, seeming to understand that he wasn't going to answer her other question.
It went smoothly from there, without any other invasive questions. By the time it was done, Sasuke had to admit that he was exhausted and hungry and he wasn't even the one doing all of the work. "Let's get out of here," Sasuke guided him towards the door. They politely said goodbye to everyone as they left. "You don't have anything on schedule tomorrow, but with the way you just amped up your album, I suggest trying to work on it," he suggested as they got into the car.
"I've finally found my inspiration," the blond responded, seamlessly staring at Sasuke. "I don't think it'll be an issue." There was a moment of silence, Sasuke was clearly not sure how to respond. "So, where do you want to eat?" Naruto finally broke the silence.
"I don't care," Sasuke shrugged, still trying to put his thoughts together.
Naruto smiled, "Ramen it is!" Sasuke went to protest but it was too late, Naruto was telling the driver where to take them. "This place is great, I promise. Plus, you can't complain when you specifically said that you didn't care."
It didn't take long for them to arrive at the restaurant. It was a small mom and pop kind of restaurant that most people wouldn't notice or know about unless they were local. It wasn't in the best neighborhood and he wondered if it was somewhere Naruto went often before he could afford the luxuries he could now that he was selling out concerts and getting sponsorships by some big names.
"I know it doesn't look like much, but it's the best ramen in town," he signaled for the other man to follow him. Naruto was nothing but smiles when he walked in. It was obvious he was a regular by the way the workers seemed to know him. "It's been too long," he told the waitress as she walked them to an open table.
Sasuke looked around, ignoring whatever conversation Naruto and the waitress were having. The place was cozy, lighting was low, but not too low that would make it feel too romantic. It was decorated in warm colors with photos on the wall. The place seemed friendly, like anyone was welcome. "It's nice," he said once the waitress walked away, giving them time to look over the menu.
"I used to come here a lot," Naruto smiled as he looked around. "Food is cheap, but good and the staff is great." Sasuke could tell that he was genuinely fond of the restaurant. It meant something special to him. "I grew up poor. It wasn't bad, but you just kinda learn how to find places like this," he explained with a small smile. "Not as nice as you're used to?" Sasuke knew the blond was just teasing him by the way he spoke. There was no malice behind his words, one could call his tone a little playful.
Sasuke looked around, "It's still nice in its own way." He didn't know why he wanted to make sure that Naruto knew he wasn't judging him, "Its cozy."
"Glad you like it," Naruto grinned. Sasuke hated the way his grin seemed to pull him in. He had to bite his lip to make sure he didn't return the smile. "So, tell me about yourself," the blond leaned back in his chair, trying to act casual.
Sasuke wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't often that he talked about himself, so he tried to deflect, "I told you this isn't a date."
"So now people have to be on a date to get to know each other?" Naruto chuckled. "I've been on dates with all of my friends then," he joked, making Sasuke roll his eyes. "Let's start off with something easy, what's your favorite color?"
"That's the most basic question you could ask," Sasuke shook his head.
"Would you prefer I ask you your favorite sex position?" he smirked. They both knew that neither one of them was experienced with sex, he was only asking to fluster the other man. "Or how about the kinkiest thing you want to try?"
Sasuke blushed, looking down to try to hide it, "Blue. My favorite color is blue."
"Like my eyes?" Naruto winked. "Mine is orange."
"Loud and obnoxious, just like you," Sasuke retorted. He couldn't help it, when he got flustered he tended to insult people in an attempt to deflect the conversation.
Naruto didn't let it get to him, he just continued to smile, "You don't know me well enough to call me obnoxious. You gotta be a level three friend first."
"Level three friend?" Sasuke asked, not sure he really wanted the explanation.
Naruto nodded, "Level one is more of an acquaintance or co-worker. You know, the people you get along with but don't necessarily hang out with on your own. Level two friends are like us. They're the people you're getting to know and don't need another friend or work to be the reason you hang out. Level three is when you're actually friends and maybe even have some inside jokes. Level four friends are your really good friends. They're your core friendship that you hang out with all the time. Last, but certainly not least, are your level five friends. Those are your best friends that you tell everything and know like the back of your hand. We'll get there some day."
"Hm, just a level five friend?" he asked somewhat flirtatiously. He didn't mean to actually say it, but it seemed his mouth worked faster than his mind could stop.
Naruto sat up straight and leaned his elbow on the table, resting his head in the palm of his hand. "I said we'll get there, not that that's the furtherest we'd get," he clarified. His eyes flickered to Sasuke's arms, which were crossed defensively in front of him. He looked at his tattoo. While he found the tattoo hot, he also hated it for making the soulmate mark almost completely unnoticeable. "Do you ever regret the tattoo?" he couldn't help but ask, his voice taking on a more serious tone.
Sasuke was caught off guard, surprised by the sudden change in topic. He looked at his arm, knowing what Naruto was talking about, but decided to play dumb, "Which one?"
Naruto locked eyes with him, "You have more?" He was suddenly very curious as to what else could be hiding under the other man's clothes.
Sasuke shrugged, "Maybe." He could see the way Naruto was staring at him, curiously searching for some sort of sign of another tattoo, and it excited him a little. "But to answer your question, no, I don't regret it," part of him hated the sad look in Naruto's eyes. "It wasn't like it could make it so my soulmate doesn't know who I am," he pointed out. "We dream about each other every night." He hated the way his first instinct was to comfort the blond, but at the same time it made him a little happy to see Naruto smile again, even if it was just a small smile.
"I suppose that's true," Naruto nodded, happy that the other man seemed to care a little. "So what other tattoos do you have?" he was curious as to what else was hidden under the other man's clothes.
Sasuke smirked, "Maybe one day you'll find out." It sounded far more suggestive than Sasuke meant to sound, but he couldn't help himself. No matter how hard he tried to fight against his instincts, they seemed to take control of his mouth.
Naruto licked his lips at the thought of what the other man had just insinuated, "I look forward to it." The blond could tell that the other man had become a little uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation so he steered it back to the trivial questions, toning down his flirting a little.
Before either of them realized it almost two hours had passed and they were still talking. Their food was long gone and they were just sipping on drinks, unintentionally dragging out the time before they had to part ways. Luckily the place wasn't busy so they didn't mind the two taking up a table for so long. Sasuke's phone dinged, causing him to look down to check his message. His eyes widened when he saw the time and Suigetsu's message asking where he was, "We should probably head out, it's getting pretty late."
Naruto looked at the time, "Oh, I didn't realize we'd been here that long." He signaled for the waitress to bring the check, "Tonight was nice." The waitress brought the check to their table and Naruto handed the her his card before Sasuke could reach for the check. "I got it this time," he told him. "You get it next time."
"Who says there will be a next time?" Sasuke asked, though they both knew there would be a next time.
Naruto shrugged, "Maybe it's just wishful thinking." There was a moment of silence as they stared at each other. "Can I show you another new song I'm working on tomorrow?" he asked. "You said it earlier, we don't have anything scheduled tomorrow and I should be working on my album," he reminded him.
"I wouldn't want to prevent you from working on your album," Sasuke said hesitantly. His mind was screaming that it was a bad idea to let the other man close, but his heart was telling him that maybe the third time was the charm. Based on his dreams, they each had caused problems in their past two lives, maybe this life was the one where they'd finally get it right.
"So, is that a yes?" Naruto asked excitedly. He thought they had made a lot of progress that night.
Sasuke paused, wanting to say no. "Text me in the morning and we'll see," it wasn't necessarily a no, but it also wasn't a yes. His heart and mind were at war, his mind reminding him about the blond in his dreams while his heart told him to take the chance. He wanted to listen to his mind, but the soulmate bond pulled him to the blond like a moth to a flame. He hadn't realized just how strong the bond would take over when he finally met his soulmate. The look on Naruto's face told him that the blond felt it too.
"I'll text you," Naruto nodded with a small smile. He hoped that in the morning Sasuke would say yes. He wanted to show him that this life would be different.