Disclaimer: Author of this fic does not own Twilight or its characters
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I will mention a song at the end of every chapter or within the chapter that inspired the chapter, and I strongly encourage readers to give each song a listen.
Prologue: The End of Summer
We're approaching Emmett's jeep.
The sound of music trails behind me, fading away the further we get from Mike Newton's house. I stumble as the driveway makes a dip into the street. I'm too fucked up to catch my balance and I weave into Jasper's way, who's looking down at his phone as he walks. Our shoulders bump and he shoves me away from him in frustration, sending me stumbling a few more paces until we reach the car.
"Damn, bro!" Jasper yells angrily. "You and Bee always do this fucking shit!"
My head is spinning and its dark as fuck outside. Mike's peoples live in the hood so its no streetlights near this curb we're parked against. I'm seeing double right now and I've failed twice to successfully grab the handle to the passenger seat door.
Jasper stalks up next to me and shoves me again, towards the rear end of the car. He swings open the door and pushes me inside. My chest and face lands on the cool, leather seat. It stings my pride but I push myself up until I'm seated properly. I vaguely hear Emmett telling Jazz to chill before the engine purrs to life.
"No, fuck that." Jasper snaps in defense. "I'm tired of being the mediator between Edward and Bella's toxic shit. Nobody forced them to fuck and get their feelings inlvoved, knowing damn well it was gonna ruin EVERYBODY's lives." He turns from the front of the car and peers at me, leaning on the arm rest to level his glare. "They created this messy ass situation, but we all gotta pay the cost of their decision … every fucking time, I swear!"
Emmett puts the car in drive and peels off down the street. One hand manuevers the steering wheel and the other adjusts the dial to the stereo. The Jeep is flooded with an infamous Kendrick Lamar soundtrack; the lyrics ingrain into my psyche like a boomeranging mantra.
Bitch, don't kill vibe. Bitch don't kill my vibe…
I stifle a chuckle because there's irony in the relevancy those lyrics hold over the events that have transpired tonight.
Em chooses not to engage with Jasper because we've all been drinking. The liquor in our systems already has Jasper fired up; there's no sense in going back and forth with him. He's a hot head by nature, but sipping on some drink will make him explosive. Emmett isn't afraid of Jazz by any means, but all bullshit aside, the three of us are boys. None of us really want to be at odds with each other.
I feel like shit for ruining the night … once again.
The sudden momentum from the car causes my head to fall backwards first then forward. I just let it hang because deep down inside I'm ashamed. Even through the haze of my inebriation, I feel self-reproach all over my body.
Another reason Emmett doesn't challenge Jasper is because he knows there's truth in his statements. Me and Bella falling into this situation with each other has been nothing but destructive. It's destroyed so many people, and so many relationships. I shake my head regretfully, also choosing not to engage with Jasper.
I let the lyrics from the song consume me, and sit back to endure the remainder of the car ride.
I can feel your energy from two planets away. I got my drink. I got my music. I would share it but today I'm yelling bi…
The song abruptly cuts off as Jasper takes the dial into his hand and twists to the left. I sigh and ready myself for his slew of angry insults. I knew better than to believe he would remain civil during our venture back into the suburbs of Forks.
"And when my sister finds out you're STILL fucking, Bella … " His words slam into me with a force that tightens my chest and my heart pangs for Rosalie. "She's going to break-up with your ass, AGAIN. This time, for the sake of us all, don't let her change her mind about you."
Though his words sting, like being pierced by an angry bee, I receive them without a rebuttal. I can't be mad at him for speaking his mind. I've never been a bitch. I can take a little heat from Jasper. It's just that the situation has been fucking with me more than Jazz even knows, and I can't confide in him like I usually would if something was bothering me. That's what makes it even worse. I just keep everything bottled up inside, and Bella Swan always knows what button to push to get it all to come spilling out.
She ruins me as resolutely as she revives me, and I hate that the only thing we are good at together is hurting each other. Sometimes, I'm not even sure what love is anymore.
Fell on my face and I woke with a scar. Another mistake living deep in my heart.
The lyrics from the song sink deep into the abyss of my soul. It's an excruciating sensation but still I remain silent, allowing the pain from the last couple of months to swallow me whole.
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Song : Kendrick Lamar - Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe