Fly Away, Fly Away, Fly Away From Home
By: Guardian Fox
Pairings: Implied one sided Hikaru/Kaoru (very light).
Warning: Contains hints of shounen-ai (if you want to look at it this way).
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Ouran High School Host Club.
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We've been in our nest for so long haven't we Hikaru? Together we've grown here, and as others have left their nests we've stayed. We've watched as their nests grew and shrank; observed as some would come to join them or leave long-time friends for different company. This was something we could never understand.
Why would they do that? Was the bond those "others" shared really worth so little that they needed to invite more persons in to make it feel whole? This thing that seemed so natural to the "others" confused us to no end.
What also caused me great grief was the fact that there were no nests around us quite like ours; there was many a time when I'd wonder if we were the ones at fault. When I'd mention my concern to you, on the rare occasion, you'd quickly quell my doubts. You'd say that the "others" were weak, that we didn't need them and that we were strong enough to live on our own.
"That's all we'll ever need Kaoru, each other."
Do you remember when you said those words Hikaru? They meant so much to me –and still do, more than you'll ever know. Needless to say I fully agree with them; something that's already perfect doesn't need changing…
…at least, not intentionally.
When she first landed in our nest, I remember us being so shocked. No one had ever even come close; "How could she?" we asked. You and I waited and waited for her to leave, or at least for us to wake up from this nightmare.
However this was too real a nightmare to be stirred from; it would seem the winds of change were blowing our way for the first time in our lives.
It was strange having her around. However unconsciously she had landed herself here, the girl didn't seem like she'd be going anywhere soon, and I can't say that it was a tragedy from right off the bat. On some level, I think we'd been waiting for this to happen, so we accepted her presence.
It wasn't just her that came either. Though they never landed, others that had been hanging around our nest suddenly seemed to circle closer.
One night, as I was snuggled securely against you to hide from that fateful wind, I recalled that time when we were children, when we were watching this same thing happen to all those around us; this memory scared me. These "others" were leaking into our nest! Already there was one here, who knew how long it would be before there were more.
The same couldn't be said for you. Though I know you were nervous about this, you seemed to be welcoming this girl here; more than was necessary in my eyes. Why were you being like that? You were the one who'd said we'd never need anyone else, you said all you needed was me; but the two of you have come to be so attached.
You're scaring me Hikaru. With every new day, this girl is drawing you nearer to the edge. Aren't you scared? You shouldn't go so close. Neither of us knows how to fly; you'll fall.
It seems like you don't know what's going on around you Hikaru, but I do, I can feel you leaving. As I stay here, guarding the center of our nest, I can see what she is doing to you. Day after day you warm her side, while mine is left cold and bare like never before.
This female is so blind. Can't she see what she's doing to you? To us? Our nest is tipping, it has been ever since she first landed. As she unconsciously draws you nearer to the edge, I can feel it tip further. Does she know what she's done? Do you even? Our nest, once so strong and sturdy, has become unbalanced and insecure. But something else has started that is scaring me even more.
For days now you've been staring longingly out into that blue sky that has never concerned us before. And as if that's not enough, every day, as you blindly slide closer to that fateful edge, I can see you stretch your wings. At first it was nothing but faint twitches, but those minor movements have grown. Wider and wider you stretches have become; by now you've almost reached your maximum wing span.
I've never understood why we needed wings, when one stays in one's nest all the time wings become meaningless.
It scares me to see just how wide of a wing span you actually have. I've never been concerned about our wings before, but seeing yours makes me regret ever disregarding them; they're just so big; too big to fit in this nest any longer.
This realization dawned on me not long ago, and now it's made me think: If, all this time you've had such large wings, then clearly you don't belong here. It pains me to say this Hikaru, but you deserve to stretch those wings.
Go.
As of late you've come extremely close to the brim of our nest, but you seem to have slowed your pace. It must be scary for you Hikaru, standing there, so near the edge with wind coming at you from all directions. I know you're nervous, but you shouldn't be. Clearly you belong out there, with those "others", I've decided that. With this decision comes a very important, and painful, task for me to execute: I must push you over.
The outside world calls for you Hikaru, haven't you heard it? I can hear it; the song enters my ears on the wind. We must do what the wind tells us to, brother. It's all a part of this sick game we call life; the turn has now come to me, and I must make my move.
I've chosen to go this way, brother, because I only want what's best for you. Clearly you are no longer satisfied with me so I am going to do everything I can during my turn to help you; to make things better for you in the long run.
These past days I've nudged you nearer and nearer that edge, and now all I can do is wait. My turn is over Hikaru, yours is next.
The "others" that before were circling close in to gather around you at the edge, encouraging you to join them in their flight; the female takes off and accompanies them in the air. Rest assured, I hold no ill feeling towards these "others", they have shown me the ugly truth, and no matter the sight of its horrifying face, I thank them for that.
Concerned and uncertain, you look from them to me. When your eyes meet mine you give me an inexplicable stare; I cannot begin to guess what must be running through your mind about now. I also cannot tell you what to do, as you wish me to. All I can do is ask for you to please not let my turn have been played in vain. I've done so much for you Hikaru, I've helped you get this far. If you take this next step I know you'll win in the end.
Back and forth you swivel your head. Why are you taking so long? It shouldn't be this hard for you brother.
With a final decisive blink, I watch as you mount the wall, as you spread you wings and bend to take off, cheered on by those already air-born. With a final look over your shoulder, you flash me a happy smile and wink. I do my best to do the same back.
In a great swoop you flap your wings, and take off into the virgin sky. I watch from ou- my nest as the "others" aid you in your first moments of flight. Soon you have gotten the hang of it.
You see Hikaru? Clearly this is what you were meant to do.
After your departure, I try to hold the smile you gave me on my face, but the tears I've started to shed make it lose its hold; it slips and falls.
"What is done is done," I tell myself, and as I dry my tears, I look up and watch as your shrinking form disappears into the indigo sky.
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Wow… that's depressing. I have to admit, I nearly started crying when I was writing the ending.
PLease tell me what you think of this. I had another (sortof) ending for this and i'm not really sure about this one, but i think can make my peace with it.
Thank you all for reading this fic, if any of you lovely readers have anything to say about it, I would be happy to hear from you .
