I had a difficult time writing this chapter so let me know what you think.
Chapter 13: This Love
"Why do you always do this?" Sasuke was on the verge of tears. Naruto flinched a little when Sasuke moved away from his touch. "Is this just a game to you? See how many times you can hurt me before I leave?"
Naruto shook his head, they both knew that Sasuke wouldn't leave. He was angry, but he wouldn't walk away. No matter what the blond did, the other man always stayed. "I'm sorry, baby," he pulled him close. "You know I never meant to hurt you. That's not me," he told him softly.
"I don't think I even know you," Sasuke started crying. "I can't get you out of my mind. I don't know what's worse, loving you or losing you," he admitted.
Naruto frowned, knowing he could never be the man that Sasuke wanted him to be. "I don't know who I am either when I'm in that state of mind. That's not the real me. You know I love you," he placed his hands on the other man's face, making him look at him before kissing each of his cheeks, as if it would make the tears stop. "I hate to see you cry."
"Then why are you always the one making me cry?" Sasuke asked, just voice shaky and just above a whisper.
"Just give me another chance," Naruto begged, knowing he'd probably received far too many chances already. He felt a sense of relief when Sasuke nodded and wrapped his arms around Naruto's waist. The blond moved his arms so he was holding the dark haired man in return. "I'm sorry."
"You always are," Sasuke whispered. Naruto was sure that the other man didn't mean for him to actually hear those words. "I love you," he said a little louder as he pressed his face against Naruto's chest.
Naruto wished he could truthfully say that he'd change, but he knew this wouldn't be the last time that Sasuke cried because of him. He'd go on tour and everything would fall apart again, just for them to pick up the pieces when he returned. It was hard to be away and not know if Sasuke would truly be there when he came back. He had no assurance that the man wouldn't eventually listen to his friends and leave.
He knew what Sasuke's friends and family said about him. His family wasn't even happy that his soulmate was a man, let a lone a drug addicted rockstar. He worried that one day Sauke would be like his past self and never want to see him again. He was worried that Sasuke would choose to mend his relationship with his family rather than trying to fix their relationship again. That Sasuke would eventually reject him and he'd be the one left with a broken heart. Sometimes it felt like he was trying to make that happen just so he could prove he was right to feel this way.
"Let's go to bed, it's been a long day," Sasuke pulled away, grabbing Naruto's hand to lead him towards the bedroom. Naruto wanted to be a better man for Sasuke, he just seemed to keep messing up. He didn't say anything, knowing that nothing he could say would make things better. Instead, he followed the other man into the room, going through the same cycle they'd been through before.
Naruto woke up with a frown. He didn't understand why he'd had that dream when he'd seemed to be only having good ones since the night he'd gone on his date with Sasuke a little over a week ago. It wasn't like anything bad had happened between them. Everything had been good, they'd even gone on a few more dates and he thought they were making progress.
He got out of bed, needing to clear his head. When he walked out of his room he found Sakura packing her things to go work on a photo shoot. She had been getting more jobs lately for bigger artists in the company. He wondered if it was because Sasuke knew that she was his friend or if people were asking for her. He didn't doubt her talent as a stylist, but it did seem to coincide with his growing relationship with Sasuke.
"You okay?" she asked, seeming to sense that something was wrong. He wasn't being his usual happy self that she'd seen ever since Sasuke had given him a chance. He had seemed happy and always seemed to be talking about Sasuke. It was odd for him to be so quiet. "What's wrong?"
Naruto sighed as he sat on one of stools at the counter. He hated the way that she could read him like a book. "The dream I had last night was a little depressing," he said sadly. "It's been a while since I've had one of those dreams."
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, knowing she had a little bit of time before she had to leave.
"I guess I just don't understand why I had that kind of dream," he shrugged, trying to play it off like it didn't bother him. He liked the dreams that showed when that version of Naruto and Sasuke were happy. It reminded him that his past life wasn't all bad, he was just scared. While the bad dreams did help him understand why his Sasuke felt the way he did, it hurt to see someone that looked like him act like a total asshole to someone that looked like Sasuke. "He just messed up so many times, I understand why Sasuke didn't want to meet me."
Sakura frowned. She hated seeing her friend sad because of those dreams. She wishes that he never had the dreams to begin with, but they wouldn't go away until there was a mutual love between him and Sasuke. "You're not him," she tried to reassure him. "Just like he's not that Sasuke."
"I know," Naruto nodded. "That doesn't make it any easier to dream about and then worry about it effecting our relationship. Everything just seems to be going well, I'm scared what's going to happen when I go on tour. That's when that Naruto always seemed to fuck everything up."
"You'll be finishing your album soon and then going on tour, it's obvious why you're having these dreams. You're scared it's going to take a toll on your relationship and to be honest it might. It's hard enough to have a relationship when you're touring, let alone one that you're already concerned about, but you can't let that get in the way of at least trying. You're soulmates for a reason, you just have to trust that," she told him. Sakura was a little jealous that both of her closest friends had found their soulmates. Kiba's relationship with his might be weird and Naruto's relationship might be a little strained at times, but at least they knew who their soulmate was and could try to be happy.
"You'll find your soulmate soon," he told her, as if he were reading her mind. "I know it has to be hard on you hearing me bitch about my dreams and soulmate when you don't even know what yours looks like," he felt bad about burdening her with his problems. Most people would tell him that he should be happy just to have the opportunity to be with his soulmate.
"You don't have to be sorry about finding your soulmate," she sighed. "I just can't believe Kiba found his before I find mine. He didn't even want his and now they have some sort of weird relationship that doesn't even have a label," she scoffed, making Naruto chuckle.
"I'll admit, their relationship is a little unorthodox for soulmates, but it seems to work for them," he shrugs. To Naruto's surprise, Kiba and Suigetsu actually talked quite a bit since they'd met and even hooked up a few times over the past week. They didn't label their relationship and he wondered how long Suigetsu would be okay with just being casual, but he wasn't going to interfere.
Sakura rolled her eyes, "Unorthodox is an understatement. But seriously, try not worry too much about what might happen. Enjoy your time with Sasuke now and build a relationship that will withstand some distance. Maybe you should talk to him about what you're worried about."
Naruto thought about her suggestion. It would probably be a good idea to get everything out in the open so they knew what they needed to work on before he had to leave. "It's just, only time will tell if our fears come true," he told her. "I'm not sure there's anything we can really do to assure one another that our fears won't come true."
"That doesn't mean that you shouldn't talk about it," she pointed out. "What you do need to do is find my soulmate," she joked. "You found Kiba's now it's my turn."
He smiled, happy that she was trying to shift the mood. "Maybe one of the back up dancers? They're nice and flexible," he said suggestively.
"Do you even have backup dancers?" she asked.
Naruto shook his head, "No, but I'm sure I could find some."
Sakura smirked, "Sure, go to Sasuke and ask if you can get some nice and flexible backup dancers. That'll go over really well."
"When you put it that way, I think I'll pass on any dancers. In fact, I should tell him I'll take a bunch of nuns on tour with me, nothing to worry about," he laughed.
"You're an idiot," she shook her head, smiling as she grabbed her things. "I've got to go, but seriously, talk to him," she told him before walking out of the door.
Naruto thought about what Sakura had said, ultimately deciding that she was right. He knew that Sasuke's office probably wasn't the best place to have that conversation, but he also knew that if he waited he'd probably change his mind. That was how the blond ended up in front of the other man's office, overhearing a conversation that he definitely wasn't meant to hear.
"Sasuke, you've been slacking your duties ever since you've started see that boy. I knew this was going to happen, you need to make a choice. Either be with him or lose your place in the company," Sasuke's father said, his voice stern. The man wanted to come across as intimidating, as if he were in control.
Sasuke just sighed, "I thought we discussed this already. Stay out of my personal life or I'll have to go to mother about this."
"Your mother will get over it eventually when I remind her how much pain this soulmate bullshit has put you through over the years," his father argued. "Or are you so easily forgetting what will happen once you're out of sight and out of mind," his tone was smug, as if he'd already won the battle. "You aren't worth fighting for, Sasuke, you know that and that is why you pushed so hard for me to give him extra time. He'll get bored eventually now that he knows you," his father belittled him in a way that made Sasuke question everything.
Before Naruto could intervene and tell him just how wrong he was, Sasuke responded, "You know nothing about our relationship. Who knows, maybe you're right, but that's not your choice to make." Sasuke shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair, "If you think I'm doing such a bad job then go ahead and demote me, hell you can fire me if that's what you want. I don't care. You've already made it clear that I'm not enough for you." Sasuke's voice remained calm. He knew deep down that his father would never accept him. He'd never be what the man wanted him to be.
The blond knocked on the door before Sasuke's father could continue to degrade him further, "Hey." He didn't bother even looking at the older man. When he signed with the company he hadn't expected the man to act that way. He seemed to be supportive of his artists and providing them freedom in their work, but was completely different when it came to his own son. "Can we talk, in private?" he asked.
The older man scoffed, giving Sasuke a look that clearly said 'I told you so.' It was obvious he'd thought that Naruto came there to break up with Sasuke for some reason. "I was just leaving," he stood from his chair, straightening his immaculate suit. "Don't forget to put your suit jacket on, Sasuke, this is a professional setting," he told him, eyeing the youngest Uchiha's tattoos before walking out of the office.
Sasuke took a calming breath. While he may seem collected on the outside, his mind was a mess. His father always had a way of making him question himself. He seemed to scrutinize every move he made. "Shut the door and sit down," Sasuke directed.
The blond followed his directions, sitting across from Sasuke in the seat that had just be occupied by the other man's father. "Don't listen to him," he knew what the other man was thinking. He'd seen how he'd reacted when it was his brother, he could only imagine what he was feeling hearing his father say those things. "You're worth fighting for, he's just a dick."
"So, you heard all of that I take it?" Sasuke sighed, leaning back in his chair. He was looking at his tattoos, trying to decide if he should listen to his father and roll down his sleeves. Just when he thought he'd stopped caring, his father came storming into his life reminding him of all of his fears.
"I heard enough," Naruto confirmed. "This is actually kind of what I came here to talk about," he admitted, causing Sasuke's eyes to widen. The man clearly thought he was going to break off their relationship before they even really had a chance to put a label on it. "No because I want to break up or anything," he quickly tried to assure him.
"I mean, is there anything to break up?" Sasuke asked, feeling oddly insecure. "We never really did put a label on whatever this is," he reminded him. "We've kissed and gone on dates, but we haven't actually said what we are," if he were honest, he didn't really want to hear what Naruto wanted them to be. He was scared the blond wouldn't want to actually be with him.
"I didn't think you wanted to," Naruto told him, surprised that Sasuke wanted it to officially be something more. "I thought you wanted to wait until after the tour and see how it goes, not start a relationship just for me to be gone for months," he explained. It would probably be the smart thing to do given he'd be gone and, though they promised to make time for each other it would be difficult.
Sasuke bit his lip, "I thought it was too, but I guess what he said just got in my head." Sasuke felt uncomfortable, thinking that maybe he'd come to want more out of the relationship than Naruto. He felt a little ridiculous given how excite the blond was about being soulmates.
"If you've changed your mind, I'll happily be your boyfriend. I mean, it may be moving a little faster than we initially expected, but you can't deny our bond. At least, I can't deny what I feel for you," he told him. Naruto knew he didn't plan on going anywhere and if they needed to put a label on it for him to feel secure, he would agree with no hesitation. "Honestly, it might make me feel a little more secure about everything too," he admitted, surprising Sasuke.
"You have concerns about us?" he asked. They had somewhat talked about their relationship and how their past lives affected their current feelings, but not as much as they should have.
Naruto nodded, "Mostly about your family." It felt tense, especially after what had just happened. "I guess I'm concerned that you'll listen to them because I know you're afraid I'm going to do something stupid on tour. I just don't want to lose you before I even have the chance to prove to you I'm different from him," he felt a little bad brining up Sasuke's family in that moment, but he wanted to be honest with him. He left out that what he really wanted was for Sasuke to leave a job he obviously hated and come on tour with him. It'd be selfish of him to ask that and was something Sasuke needed to decide on his own.
"My biggest fear is feeling that pain in my arm or you coming back a completely different person," Sasuke didn't make eye contact. He felt a little stupid because Naruto had made no indication that he'd end up that way, yet he still feared that was what would happen when he left. He was scared that he'd leave and his father would be right, it'd be out of sight and out of mind.
Naruto nodded, "I get it. I know why you feel that way, but I've gone on tour before and even though I didn't know you, I had no desire to be with anyone else. I won't lie and say there aren't opportunities for me to be like him, I just don't want to be like him. I'll do whatever it takes to prove that to you." He grinned when Sasuke smiled a little. "I just want to warn you though, if you agree to date me I might have to convert my Twitter account to a Sasuke fan account," he joked.
"You want us to be public about our relationship?" Sasuke asked. He hadn't even thought about the fact that between him being one of the Uchiha heirs and Naruto being a rising star, their relationship would eventually be very public.
"If you're not comfortable with it we don't have to, but I personally don't want to hide. It's no secret how long I've been waiting to meet my soulmate. I was writing songs about you before I even knew you," he reminded him. He understood how Sasuke didn't realize who he was, but the more he thought about it the more he wondered how he didn't realize his soulmate was the youngest Uchiha. Everyone knew who the family was and what they looked like, but he'd never really paid that close of attention to it, always focusing on his career and hoping one day he'd meet his soulmate. "I mean I managed to have one of the most eligible bachelors as my soulmate, that's a pretty big flex."
Sasuke shook his head in amusement, "As your boss, I'm telling you that you can't make your professional account a fan account."
"Is that your way of saying you do want to make things official?" Naruto was excited at the thought of being able to say Sasuke was truly his. It might sound a little possessive, but he wanted to be able to introduce him as his boyfriend and let everyone know he's Sasuke's soulmate.
Sasuke nodded, "But, we are not making an announcement yet and you will not post about this on any social media platforms until we figure out how we want to go about telling people." Dating in the public eye was going to be difficult enough, he didn't want to tell people until they knew they could make it through Naruto's tour and being away from each other. "I know you're going to wan to do some grand gesture to announce it, so if we're still together when your tour ends, I'll come to the last show and you can tell everyone then."
"Not if, when," Naruto corrected him with a grin.
"I believe you have an album to finish and I do have to do some work today," Sasuke smiled, hoping that the blond was right. "It should be in post production by now," he knew things were recorded, Naruto was just having a hard time choosing what he wanted to go on the album.
"Yes sir, I'll go now," he teased. The look on the dark haired man's face told him calling him sir was something they might need to explore in the bedroom when they got to that point in their relationship. "I'll see you later?" he asked as he got up.
"Yeah," he confirmed, looking at him expectantly.
Naruto just smirked as he made his way around the desk, turning Sasuke's chair so he could cage him between his arms. "I didn't forget your kiss," he kissed him softly, knowing that they couldn't take it further in the other man's office. There were probably already rumors going around with how long he'd been in the office.
Sasuke just watched as the man walked out of his office, shamelessly checking him out in the tight pants that he was sure the blond wore just to torture him. He noticed some employees looking at him once the blond was gone, but a simple glare was enough for them to turn away and go back to work. He looked down at his rolled up sleeves, deciding not to roll them down like his father had demanded. It was going to be hard, but he had to try to forget his father's words and trust Naruto not to hurt him.