Seasons of Life Chapter 3
Even though they all knew that the Major was possibly nearing the end, Still the news of his passing still came as a shock to them and the hurt each of them felt was unbearable.
Duke and the Doctor arrived not long after the major's death. After he went into the wagon to medical examine him one last time he came out of the wagon and said to the major's employees and Chris Hale.
"Gentlemen, I can start taking things out of the wagon that we don't need to take, that way we won't have to move the Major's body from the wagon until we get to the undertaker." Said the doctor in a solemn tone
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The others shook their heads in agreement that's when Duke looked around, then just as he started to ask had anybody seen Charlie, he spotted his good friend kneeling down by a rock crying his big heart out.
As Duke started to make his way towards his friend, Bill stepped towards Duke.
"If you don't mind, I'll talk to him!" Bill Hawks said wiping the tears from his own eyes.
"Yea, sure thing Bill." They squeezed each other's shoulders then Bill walked towards his grief-stricken friend.
Charlie Wooster sensed that someone was walking towards him, and he tried to pull himself together.
"Oh, Hi Bill, just trying to get some fresh air, kind a got stuffy over there." Charlie couldn't help but have a small smile across his face. He waiting a few moments then slowing spoke to his friend.
"Charlie," Bill began slowly collecting his thoughts.
"Even though we are grown men we are human and it's more than ok to cry and grieve over the death of anyone we care about, don't ever be ashamed to grieve Charlie!"
"I've got to be strong, Bill I just got to for the Major he would expect that."
Bill shook his head although he didn't see it Bill knew his friend was right, but he knew that he was right as well.
"Well, my friend you are right, but even the major knew we are all human like I said before."
"Charlie, do you remember Ranie Martin and Beth Pearson also?"
Charlie couldn't help but chuckle a little!
"Yep, I sure do Bill, Ranie was the Major's first love many years ago, then four years later Beth Pearson asked to join the train, and she was a dead ringer to Ranie, I remember how shocked at first glance we all were. Then the major fell in love with her or at least maybe he did."
Bill, smiled at the remembrance of both women in their friend's life, "Don't you remember Charlie, the Major cried when he lost Ranie, and he cried when Beth had her accident, and even shed a tear or two when her and her son left the train."
"Yes, I remember those times." Charlie said a smile crossing his face."
"So, you see Charlie it is very natural for anyone to cry, and for someone to say otherwise, why that's just plain foolish."
"You're right Bill." Charlie and Bill stood to their feet to walk back toward the wagons when Charlie stopped again. He then looked at his friend and smiled.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Bill, you are the best friend anyone can have, I know the Major felt that way and I do too!"
"Well, Thanks Charles that means a lot to me to hear you say that, and I hope the Major felt that way!" Bill patted his friend on the back as they walked back to join the others.
While the two men were gone Flint, Duke and the doctor had everything ready for the body of Maj. Seth Adams to be ready to be taken into town to the undertaker. Chris didn't participate he felt he would just be in the way.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
As the men were discussing what to do about the major's burial, they just hated the thought of him being buried just out in the middle of nowhere, so they decided to have the major buried in the town cemetery. And he was to be buried in a section that was designated for military men. And importantly for them they knew that the service had to be simple, a simple burial for a very simple man.
As the members of the train as well as a few of the townspeople gathered at the cemetery to pay their respects to many he was a friend, and others he was just someone they respected because he had served his country with honor. An older woman from the town began to sing an old spiritual, it sent chills up and down everyone's spine as well as tears into the eyes of all those in attendance whether they knew the Major or not.
After the woman finished the song, the minister in the town said a final prayer then everyone went their own way.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Back at the camp site not very much was said among anyone, even ol' Charlie didn't say anything after all one of his best friends in this life had left this earth, same went for Bill as well. For ya see Bill Hawks and Charlie Wooster served in the army with Maj. Seth Adams several years before, and the three of them was as close as anyone could ever be without being blood related.
The time was getting late and Flint was sitting near the campfire he was restless, and felt helpless and hopeless since the passing of their leader. He had even almost asked Chris if he would go ahead and take command, but even he knew that now was not the time to do so, even though he knew Maj. Adams well enough to know that's exactly what he would have wanted.
Flint didn't even hear anyone come near him, but when he was tapped on the shoulder, he clinched his fist then went for the punch, luckily, he missed.
"Remind me to never sneak up on you Flint!" Chris Hale couldn't help but laugh a little.
"I'm sorry Chris my mind is a million miles away, so much to think about."
Chris Hale held up his hand when he said.
"Think nothing of it!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Both men were silent again, and Flint begin to recollect of all the times that he and Major Adams had butted heads, as many times as he had regretted those times over the years, it was now hitting him very hard, and this time there were no apologies that could be said.
"Flint, I don't mean to be rubbing in your business, I just want to say having regrets will do you nor anyone no good, they need to be buried with Seth, um I mean Major Adams."
The wagon train's scout looked at his new boss shocked, at a loss for words wondering how in the world this man who he has only known for just a couple of weeks knew what was in his mind and heart.
"Yes, sir you are right, but still." Chris then patted his new friend and employee on the shoulder then sat down beside him.
"Flint, I'm an old man and there are some things in life that a person never learns, or if he or she does learn it, it takes a very long time to do so."
Chris took a sip of his coffee and cleared his throat.
"I regretted it then, and I still regret it now that I wasn't home when my family was massacred by the Indians. So many times, how I wished it was me that was lying in the ground, but it's not. The Good Lord apparently had a purpose for me to not be there and has a purpose for me now."
Flint sat there in deep thought he realized at that moment that his new boss was a very wise man.
"Chris, I was raised to believe we all have a purpose in this life, it's just finding out what that purpose is now that's the tricky part or maybe a person does find it out, but just doesn't realize it until it's too late to enjoy it." Flint said,
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Just as Chris started to speak Duke came toward them with a somber look on his face handed Flint an envelope. Flint looked at Duke's bewildered face before he took the envelope from him. Just as he looked down, at the envelope in his hand he recognized the handwriting.
"It's the Major's handwriting, if you both will excuse me." Flint couldn't say another word.
"Sure thing!" Both Chris and Duke said at the forlorn look on their friend's face.
When Flint was far enough away from Chris and Duke, Duke told Chris that there were letters to all of them even to Chris himself from the Major.
"I gave Bill, and Charlie their letters already, yours is still in the major's wagon." Duke said solemnly
"I'll go get it and bring it to you."
"That's alright Duke, just leave it there, and I'll read it later."
Duke said he hadn't even read his yet, he even said he didn't know when he would read it, or why the major would write a letter to him since he had only been with the train just a few short months.
"Take your time son, but don't toss it aside knowing Seth like I did, I'm sure that letter is chocked full of thankfulness, and more than likely some wisdom thrown in. It never mattered to Seth Adams how long he knew someone, but if that person or persons contributed to a cause he believed in. Or even if he knew that the person had potential, he would try to be a champion for them, he was just that kind of man.
Duke started to understand what kind of man the major really was, he started to have regrets not knowing that all along. Chris seemed to sense that very thought.
"No, Duke don't feed your mind, and soul with regrets, I just got through telling Flint the same thing."
"Ya know Duke, I think my first job on this train just might be teacher!" Chris Hale sat up straight and shook his head in bewilderment, laughed yet again.
Duke, didn't understand what his new boss meant, but it would not take him or any of the others long to find out what kind of teacher, boss, and friend that Chris Hale would be to them now and in years ahead.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Duke tomorrow Lord willing I'll have a talk with you and the others about what, and when our next move should be." He said this with a look of sadness and satisfaction all wrapped up in one. Knowing the journey ahead would be bittersweet for those that knew the Major for so long, he was more than aware that everyone was anxious to get to their destinations.
"Yes sir, and I just want to say thank you for coming to help us out and being willing to be the new wagon master."
"My pleasure Duke, but I have a feeling that between the four of you that were under his command any of you are more than capable of being the Wagon Master, I call this an honor to do so for my friend Seth Adams, and I'm just as happy to be having Bill Hawks as a part of this train as well.
"Yes, sir I know what you mean, Bill is one of a kind. He sure has taught me a lot since I've been here. Ya know sir I guess no one is ever too old to learn are we?"
Chris's smile was big when he said, "No Duke we are never too old to learn, we all learn something daily or at least we should. Many times, in life we miss chances to learn something because of our own arrogance, and pride.
"Thank you, sir, I think I'll turn in for the night." Duke said as he shook hands with his new boss.
"Goodnight Duke sleep well."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
As Duke walked off Chris Hale looked around at the familiar yet new surroundings, unsure how to feel about what lies ahead, but like he had told Duke it would be bittersweet for many and just anticipation for the others.
He was getting tired it had been a long, tiresome day, just as he stood to his feet and turned to go toward the wagon that once belonged to Maj. Adams was now the wagon he would bed down in, he saw his old friend and assistant wagon master coming towards him with tears in his eyes.
"Chris, this is gonna sound strange, but I feel lost!"
"Bill, it isn't strange at all, believe me it isn't Seth was your boss for a few years, correct?" Hawks nodded his head yes.
"Death is a strange, yet a natural part of life, we all must face it sooner or later, Bill I am glad I got to see my old friend before he died. Chris stood in front of his friend while pondering if he should truly say what was on his mind. Then he slowly started to speak again. "Although had I known that you were the assistant wagon master I may not have come to help."
The look on Bill Hawks face was one of hurt and shock. He started to walk off but before he could Chris stopped him.
"Bill, you didn't let me finish!" Chris said with a matter-of-fact tone in his voice, and yes, He was right Bill didn't let him.
"What I was going to say is this, I cannot think of but very few men that are capable of being a wagon master, and Bill my friend believe me when I say your name would be among the most capable."
Bill Hawks couldn't believe his ears after being an assistant wagon master for many years he couldn't see himself in that roll, permanently anyway. He had to take command on several occasions, but he couldn't see himself being in complete control of so many people all the time. Just the very thought of it scared him. He would gladly let anyone else have that job.
"Chris, I'm honored you feel that way, but I just don't think I could do it I have…" Hawks let his voice trail off into the night air.
"Bill there are lots of things that lets a person know if they have become ready to take on responsibilities. One of those things is realizing their faults and admitting them. On more than one occasion I have known you to do just that, and even take the blame for things you and I both know you shouldn't have." Chris had a twinkle in his eyes when he said this to his friend.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Just that last comment alone made Hawks smile a little, he figured that Chris Hale hadn't forgotten about the accident that he had told the major about just a couple of weeks ago, but still in the back of his mind he probably hoped Chris would have forgotten. Even though he knew in himself that he could never forget that terrible day, albeit even if it was twenty years ago.
"Well, Bill I think I'll turn in for the night kind of anxious to see what this adventure holds, but I'm so thankful you're a part of it with me."
"Thanks Chris so am I, Goodnight."
As Bill watched his new, and old boss and longtime friend walk toward the wagon that now was his, he couldn't help the tears that were streaming down his face, but this time they were tears of relief, cause in his heart he finally let himself realize that the accident that had haunted him all these years ago was not his fault at all just something that was in the hands of the Good Lord above and he could not then or ever do anything about it. He had to let it go. Before he knew it, he was on his knees crying his heart out, he was not sad, but a feeling of thankfulness and relief was sweeping over him.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The sun was just coming up the next morning, and Flint woke up to start his day. He hadn't decided if he would get a cup of coffee first or just be on his way. He decided he would get a cup of coffee so it would help him wake up more. Just as he started towards the campfire, he saw a sight that he never imagined he would ever see. He saw his Bill Hawks lying face first on the ground next to the campfire.
He started to go for help, but he hurried toward his friend first to see if he was either alive or dead. Praying that his friend was alive, he didn't know how much more sadness that he or anyone else could take.
He walked slowly towards his friend unsure of how to get the attention of his friend. Then he took his foot and shoved Bill's body about an inch. Next thing Flint knows he is knocked on the ground with Bill overtop of him with a gun in his face.
Nothing was said between the two coworkers and friends, but the look on their faces was shock and horror.
"Sorry Flint, I…"
"Bill, what are you doing laying out here are you alright?" Flint asked very concerned about his friend. Flint also noticed a strange look on his friend's face.
Bill and Flint got up off the ground then took a seat at the campfire.
"Yea I'm alright I guess, Flint, I cried myself to sleep last night!"
Flint didn't know what to say he just looked at his friend, but before he could say anything Bill continued to talk and that's when he revealed to Flint why he was nervous about Chris coming to the wagon train at first.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Bill, I'm honored you felt comfortable telling this to me, but you didn't have to."
"Well, maybe not but I felt I owed it to you and even Duke, Charlie an explanation. I haven't told them yet, but I plan too." Bill said wiping tears from his eyes and shrugging his shoulders.
"Just do what feels right to you Bill, you know we are your friends, we have your back." Flint patted his friend on the knee.
"Thanks, Flint it's even hard for me to believe I have never even told this story to Charlie seeing as we have been friends for so long."
Flint understood what Bill was saying because he found it hard to believe that Charlie didn't know about this either. However, he along with anyone that knows Bill Hawks knows he keeps so many things bottled up inside him possibly more than he should, but that's just the kind of man Bill is. He would rather bear the burdens of others than to have others share in his burdens. And there are those that would be willing to share his loads, and he knows that it's just hard for him to let that part of himself be exposed.
"Sometime today, maybe I'll let them know about it." Hawks smiled with a look of relief on his face.
"I told the major about it after we found out Chris was coming. He needed and wanted to know. I'm so glad I told him" Hawks smile seemed to get brighter and brighter.
Flint's mind went back to that day he remembered it as if it was yesterday watching his friend quietly leave the major's wagon when he heard Chris Hale's name.
Bill continued "Last night I had a good talk with Chris, and even though I have known all this time that he not even one time blamed me for what happened. I just couldn't let it go until last night!"
"Flint, I cannot explain the feeling that swept over me last night after Chris went to his wagon. I just couldn't help myself I just started to sob, and I guess I just cried myself to sleep."
Flint had to wipe tears from his eyes now, then smiled at his friend again.
"Well, Bill I've always heard that our tears cleanse the soul, I don't know why it took this long to happen, but I'm glad it did for your sake."
"Thanks, I think I feel better than I have in years, all the time Chris kept telling me to let it go, that's why I quit his wagon train, I guess I felt that if I were to leave, I would forget it, but that wasn't the case."
"I even questioned why I joined the major's train, because I knew deep down God forbid if something tragic would have happened here, I knew I would blame myself." Bill had to stop talking to pull himself together.
"Now I know many tragic things have happened even with this train, but nothing at all has haunted me anymore than that awful day."
"Flint, but I can finally put it behind me, you don't know what a weight off of my shoulders it is to let it go like I should have done long ago."
Flint smiled brighter than before. Then he stood up to get ready to go on the trail.
"You have no idea how happy I am for you Bill; you look so much happier than you have in a very long while my friend."
"I am happy now I miss the major, and always will, but the home office could not have sent us anyone better to help us out. He's one in a million guy Flint."
Flint slapped Bill on the shoulder then said before he walked off "Bill, you are a one in a million guy as well, don't forget it. See ya later friend."
"Thanks Flint, be careful out there!" and with that Flint was on it way scouting.