Fanfiction File #2

Characters from:
Chuck Norris

Saturday Night Live Celebrity Jeopardy

Marvel Comics

G.I. Joe

Samuel L. Jackson

Jimmy Neutron

TROGDOR the BURNiNATOR

Pirates of the Caribbean

Xplodiak (The writer)

Shonen Jump

DC Comics

Alex Trebek's Mom

Mr. T

Willy Wonka/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Fullmetal Alchemist

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Chuck Norris: Ladies and gentlemen, we will now watch Jeopardy.

Alex Trebek: What is the sound a doggie makes?

Sean Connery: buzzes Moo

Trebek: I hate you

Cap Fan: When Captain America throws his mighty shield, all who oppose him must surely yield!

Captain America: And I'll prove it for my fans! Throws shield at Chuck Norris

Shield bounces off Chuck

Cap Fan: EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!

Cobra Commander: Gets on a plane It's nice to go on vacation… Not worry about getting my ass kicked by G.I. Joe…

Samuel L Jackson: Enough is enough! I have had it with these mutha fuckin' snakes on this mutha fuckin' plane!

Cobra Commander: DRAT!

Chuck Norris: That's what happens when snakes get on planes…

Samuel L Jackson: DIE! AHAHAHAH! Activates lightsaber

Cobra Commander: OK, from now on I take the train…

Samuel L Jackson: SNAKES ON A TRAIN! It'll be a smash hit!

Jimmy Neutron: Einstein's ghost! I've invented a non-burninatable thatch-roof cottage!

Trogdor: Burninates the "non-burninatable" cottage Now what, bitch?

Jack Sparrow: My good man, I do beli- HEY! Writer! That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. CAPTAIN!

Xplodiak: Jesus, Jack! I have your exestince at the tip of a pen and you decide to PISS ME OFF!

Jack Sparrow: Oh come on, is it that hard to write CAPTAIN? Or are you just afraid to admit that I, being a captain, am better than you.

Xplodiak: OK, I'm whipping your ass. pokes at Jack with his pen

Luffy: I'm gonna find One Piece!

Zolo: Luffy, we've been searching for 40 years.

Nami: Or 4000 episodes, at Shonen Jump speed. We're moving pretty fast.

Zolo: When they gave me my contract, they let me pick between 10 years or until we find One Piece.

Luffy: I made him say until we find One Piece!

Zolo: YOU SAID IT WOULDN'T TAKE LONG!

Nami: I'm pretty sure he meant "Shonen Jump's" definition of not long.

Narrator: As Xplodiak and Jack Sparrow continue to duel…

Xplodiak: Do you have any Aces?

Jack Sparrow: Go fish.

Narrator: AHEM!

Jack Sparrow: Oh yes, right! jumps on the table and draws his sword En Guarde!

Xplodiak: Fine! FINE! Just let me go write some more…

Captain Jack Sparrow: AHA! You will always remember this as the day you almost…. Ummm…. runs away

Alex Trebek: And here we have Mr. Connery, who has a commanding lead of a nickel.

Sean Connery: Buzzes Abraham Lincoln!

Alex Trebek: Mr. Connery, we haven't started yet.

Chuck Norris: I'm cold. Turns the sun up

Mister Freeze: NOOOOOO melts

Iceman: NOOOOOO melts

Alex Trebek: On to Final Jeopardy. The topic is "Smack Alex Trebek." Wait, WHAT?

Sean Connery: Writes on his podium, then smacks Trebek The day is mine, Trebek!

Alex Trebek: Kill me now… You wrote… Nothing. You wagered? Oh, dear lord!

Sean Connery: Your mother, Trebek!

Alex Trebek: No, No, NO!

Chuck Norris: He wagered, it Alex.

Alex Trebek: HER, Mister Norris, and that is against the rules.

Chuck Norris: roundhouse kicks Trebek Don't argue with me, bitch.

Mr. T: I pity the fool who argues with Norris!

Trebek's Mom: Oh, Sean!

Narrator: Meaniwhile…..

Captain Jack Sparrow: Take THAT! throws a breathmint AHA!

Xplodiak: Where the hell did you come from, Jack? And WHY did you hit me with a breathmint? Better yet, WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE A MORON!

Captain Jack Sparrow- But I'm Not Jack Sparrow! I'm Willy Wonka!

Xplodiak: God, take me now.

Willy Wonka: Minions, ATTACK!

Minions: Oompa Loompa doopity do, what would you do if we shot at you?

Alphonse: Wow, brother, those little orange guys are shorter than you.

Edward: WHO'RE YOU CALLING SHORT!

Alphonse: You.

Edward: …WHY did I give up an arm to keep you alive?

Chuck Norris: Because you're an idiot.

Mr. T: I pity the fool who gives up an arm to save an ungrateful brat!

Narrator: When Luffy finally finds One Piece…

Zolo: You MUST be joking…

Nami: Knowing Shonen Jump, this just might be One Piece…

Luffy: COOL! It's a "one piece" bathing suit! And it fits me!

Zolo: We should've mutinied.

Nami: Yeah.

Luffy: Now I'm the Pirate King! The BEST DRESSED PIRATE KING EVER!

Xplodiak: Well then. Now that I wrote that second part, I'D LIKE MORE THAN THREE REVIEWS! Minions, the Disclaimer please.

Minions: Oompa Loompa doopity-do, Xplodiak wrote this story for you-

Xplodiak: I'm running outta page space! DISCLAIMER!

Minion#1: Oh, right.

Minion#2: Xplodiak doesn't own any of the characters in this story except Me, Minion #1, the Narrator, and himself.

Minion#1: He bought Me and #2 from Mr. Wonka.

Minion#2: Yeah, Xplodiak's just borrowing all of those other characters because the story would be really lame and short without them.

Edward- Who're you callin' short!

Minion#2: And besides, IF Mr. Xplodiak owned all those characters, he'd have a whole lot more fun with them.

Xplodiak: Yeah, I don't know why the people who OWN them don't have more fun…

Minion#1: Oh yeah, Mr. Xplodiak used the Mr. Wonka from the remake "CHARLIE and the Chocolate Factory."

Minion#2: And he used us, the Oompa Loompas, from the original.

Xplodiak: BECAUSE THE REMAKE HAD COMPUTER GENERATED OOMPA LOOMPAS! DESCECRATION I SAY! WHEN I FIND TIM BURTON I'M- falls over 'zzzzzz'

Minion#2: hides tranquilizer He's… uhh… tired.

Minion#1: Let's go with that.

Narrator: And so, Xplodiak will sleep until he finds the dart and kills the Oompa Loompa that shot him.

Minions point at eachother

Narrator: Wait, how is this still going if Xplodiak is asleep?

Chuck Norris: Don't ask questions you're not prepared to have answered.