"…Do you really hate me that much…?"
"Why are you even asking me that? You know the answer."
"I…I really try my best…not to be a bother. I never really wanted to hurt you…"
"Please, you screw up my life jus' by bein' here. Don't ya know when you're not wanted? The sooner you disappear, the better."
"I…I'm sorry…"
Akane blinked as she watched Ranma, currently in girl form, have a conversation with the bathroom mirror...
Revenge of the Girl-type
a Ranma fan story by: Rodney Emerson
Disclaimer:
Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Kitty, Shogakukan, Shounen Sunday Comics, Fuji TV, and Viz Communications.
This is work of fanfiction is fully available for free to anyone willing to read it. It is not written with any kind of profit in mind.
Prologue: The Obligatory "Cure"
"Uh…Ranma…What are you doing?" Akane said, still standing at the door frame of the bathroom. Ranma was more than a little surprised when she found her fiancé had been watching.
"Err, Uh, Akane, what brings you here? Heheh." Ranma gave a weak laugh as she stared wide-eyed at the short hared girl.
"Ranma? Is there something you'd like to talk about?" Akane asked.
"Oh! Uh, it's nothing! Nothing at all! Just thinking a little to myself out loud. Nothing wrong with that, right?" Ranma quickly replied. "'Sides, what are ya doing in here? I had the occupied sign up and everything."
Akane froze, with a "I've been caught!" look on her face. The truth was, Akane actually was going to the closet to put up some linens, at first anyway. She heard a male, then a female voice through the bathroom door and Akane, being Akane, jumped to the conclusion that Ranma was with yet another one of his "fiancés" (namely Shampoo). Akane was silently preparing to mallet him and the offending girl when she saw what was really going on. She was holding the said mallet behind her back.
"Um, nothing at all, just putting up some linens and…um…I had to go to the bathroom really bad and I didn't notice the sign up, silly me!" Akane said with a nervous smile. Ranma arched one of her eyebrows as Akane recomposed herself and got back to the issue at hand. "Ranma, why were you talking to the…mirror…as if it were another person? Are you trying to break up with one of your other 'fiancés'?" Akane said, with a slightly hopeful tone.
'Please let it be Shampoo. Please let it be Shampoo. Please let it be Shampoo.'
"Um, no, nothing like that" Ranma replied
'Rats!'
"It's like I said. I'm jus' thinkin' aloud to myself. Nothin' more, nothin' less. Now, can ya get outa here? I'm tryin' to take a bath, unless you wanna watch…" Ranma said, with a mischievous on her face.
"Ugh! If that's what you want, then I'll leave! Honestly Ranma.." Akane trailed off and closed the door behind her as she left. Ranma sighed with relief and glanced up at the mirror.
"This is all your fault." Ranma told her reflection with a miffed look.
His girl form had always managed to get him in some kind of trouble. May it be with the horde of perverts it attracted, the death threats from a certain amazon, or the fact that he would probably have to commit seppuku if his mother ever found out about it; the list of issues that being a half-girl brought about was long. But that wasn't the reason Ranma hated his girl form, not at all. Even when he wasn't cursed, Ranma always had his share of oddness due to his decade long training trip. He hated his curse because of the essential blow to his masculine self-image it dealt.
Even without Nodoka's threat on Ranma and Genma's lives, Ranma still prided himself with becoming "man-among-men". Ranma's confidence/cockiness in himself stems from this extreme masculinity, which can loosely be translated to the power to break things really easily. His view on the female race was just the opposite. Ranma believed women to be generally weaker than men in every way shape and form. Their main calling was the care and upbringing to the family and home. Long story short, Ranma was a bit of a chauvinist (You can't really blame him, having Genma as a role-model. Nodoka's old fashioned style wasn't helping things either…), and being cursed to turn into something that he considered weak was not the most pleasant thing for him.
Ranma turned on the hot water and let the furo fill itself. Ranma then hopped in and gave a sigh, he was back to normal. His girl form represented everything Ranma didn't want to be. He didn't want to be weak, dependent on others, and he didn't want to not have control over himself (Why do you think he and Akane are so dead set on being against the engagement?). When he looked at his girl form, he saw the very thing that he equated with weakness, and Ranma hated that.
"Ranma! Breakfast is ready!" Kasumi called from the kitchen. Ranma hurried up with the rest of his bath; drying and clothing himself then going downstairs to the breakfast table. His day was a about to start, and the main goal was the same as always: avoid water like the plague…
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Somewhere Else in Nerima…
Happosai hopped from roof top to roof top, laughing his old wrinkly head off. But what for? He didn't have a lifetime's worth of panties with him...
"This is excellent! Just excellent!" The little pervert laughed "The boy is so obsessed with finding a cure, he'd probably do ANYTHING if someone offered him one!" Happosai pulled out a small, blue glass bottle that contained a strange, glowing liquid. "With this, my dreams and fantasies will come true!" The old master's eyes sparkled as he lost himself in a daydream…
'Oh Old man! You've found a real cure for me? I'm so happy! Please, let me thank you in the best way I know how…" an imaginary Ranma-chan said, while wearing a VERY suggestive and lacy teddy.
Happosai gave a sick giggle as he continued to hop from building to building. Making his way to the Tendo Dojo as quickly as he could. Sure, he tried something like this before, and with pretty unsatisfactory results (Damn evil Panda…), but this time, he was certain his plan would work! He WILL see his Ranma-chan in a bra and panties before he died! He swore it! Happosai gave out a hardy laugh.
"This is going to be the best day of my life!"
Back at the Tendo's…
The day began how it normally had. Soun and Genma were not so much as playing Shougi, as much they as they were trying to find new ways to cheat. Nabiki had already left the house for school just a few minutes prior and Kasumi was trying her damn hardest to out do Martha Stewart as she normally does. But what about Ranma and Akane? They were doing what they always do…
"RANMA! YOU INSENSITIVE JERK!"
"If you wanted to kill me so badly, why didn't just pull that mallet out in the first place! It's much quicker and whole lot less painful than eating that thing you call a rice ball!"
"Ranma! Why can't you just be thankful! You know I try my best…!'
"You can't expect me to eat something that moves around and talks after you cook it!"
"I must say, I agree with the young man here." Said one of Akane's rice balls.
"See what I mean!" Ranma said. Akane huffed and turn her back to Ranma.
"C'mon, we're going to be late for school Ranm…"
"Ranma M'boy! How are you!"
Akane turned around, just to see a verily soaked and pissed off Ranma being cuddle by Happosai.
"Old man…I am NOT in the mood today…" Ranma growled, balling up her hand into a fist, threatening to send the old perv into orbit.
"Such cruelty! Is this how you treat the man who has finally found you a cure for your curse!" Happosai sighed. Ranma blinked, and blinked again before shaking her head.
"Heh, don't even try to kid me on this one, old man! I know the last thing you want to see happen is for me to be cured pervert!" Ranma said with laugh and began to cock back her fist.
"Well, how do you explain this then!" Happosai pulled out the little blue bottle with the glowing liquid. Ranma's eyes glittered as she gazed at the bottle, unable to look away for some reason.
"Wha…what is that…?"
"Aiya! You sir is too too lucky! You find most secret and sacred Jusenkyo water! So secret that no one know it name!" Said the Jusenkyo Guide. He had just arrived in Japan on vacation. He was touring the streets of Nerima when he saw and recognized the glowing bottle.
"What does it do sir?" Akane asked, also taken in by the water's light.
"Water is cure for all Jusenkyo curse. Is so powerful, those who splashed cannot be cursed by Jusenkyo pool again!"
"You mean to tell me…that this…is…" Ranma's eyes became huge, glittering saucers, as she stared a the bottle."
"Yes, water is cure, but be very care…"
"One splash of this and you'll be cured forever M'boy!" Happosai said, punting the Jusenkyo guide away before he could finish his sentence. Not even a second later, the occupants of the backyard saw the house wall break down in front of them, heard the sound of loud, heavy footsteps behind them, and saw a cloaked figure land in from the sky. Ryouga, Genma, and Mousse had joined the party.
"Is it really true? It can cure me?" Genma said in shock, his shogi game long forgotten.
"You mean to tell me that I don't have to be a duck any longer!" Mousse said wide eyed, adjusting his glasses. He had been looking for Shampoo, but at the moment, this was more important.
'This is it! If I can get my hands on that bottle, I will never have worry about turning into a pig ever again! Then I can finally face Akane as a true man!' Ryouga thought to himself, falling into another one of his daydreams where he confesses his love to Akane, Akane accepts it, and Ranma was good and dead. But he was still wondering why the Tendo Dojo was in India, and why the Indians all spoke Japanese for that matter.
"Where the hell did you two come from?" Ranma yelled as she noticed the other cursed boys eyeing the bottle. "Happosai is giving this to me!"
"That is, of course, if you would put these Silky little darlings on!' Happosai smiled, holding up some lingerie. Normally, Ranma would have fisted the old coot into outer space, but in face of a sure fire cure…
"I'll be out in a minute!" Ranma began to skip cutely away like, well, a little girl. Eye's sparkling and the whole works. This act earned a more than annoyed growl from Akane, flashes of angry red aura flickering around her. Ryouga smirked a bit.
"Hmph! How low can you go Saotome. Whoring yourself to that old pervert in order to get the cure, disgusting." Ryouga said in a high and mighty tone. 'If only I had a girl curse…'
"And it will all be for naught! For I will acquire the cure from the old pervert!" Mousse said as her tossed out a chain making a grab for the bottle.
"I think not! Happo Ring of Fire!" Happosai tossed a set of explosives at the shocked teen. Mousse jumped out of the way as the bombs detonated and created a wall of smoke. Genma, forgetting the type of power Happosai had over him and Soun, leapt through the smoke and charged for Happosai.
"It's mine!"
"Not on your life sonny!" Happosai plated his foot into Genma's face and leapt away to the roof, in which Ryouga was already waiting.
"Now old man! Hand over the bottle! Um…For Ranma of course! We can't have him embarrassing himself or anything like that." Ryouga said, carefully noticing that Akane was still within hearing range, and the last thing he wanted was for her to get any hints about his curse.
'Wow, Ryouga is trying to keep Ranma from having to put on that underwear by getting the water for him! How noble of him, he's such a good friend!' Akane thought with a smile as she looked up at the roof. Well, you gotta give the dog a bone once in a while…
"Alright! Here I come!"
The whole yard turned to the source of the voice, then blinked. Before their eyes was Ranma, or a woman who they thought was Ranma, wearing a pair of lingerie that would make the Victoria's Secret models proud. She wore a black lace push-up bra that revealed more cleavage than was humanly necessary. An equally black and lacy V-string that left as much to the imagination as a few inches of cloth could. Her hair was out of her normal pig-tail and flowed freely down her back, it's waves and color only adding to her allure. Leaning against a tree, her hand playing with her hair, Ranma had a look of absolute confidence and sensuality. In her mind, on the other hand…
'It's for the cure! It's for the cure! It's for the cure! I can kill Happosai AFTER I get the cure! Please God, don't let Nabiki be around…'
"Like what you see?" Ranma giggled.
Everyone in the yard was dead silent. Mousse's adjusted his glasses again, trying to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating.
'I knew Ranma was shameless, but this! I don't even think Shampoo would wear underwear like that!' Mousse thought. 'Damn I wish Shampoo would wear something like that…'
Ryouga was every bit as shocked as Mousse was. He's known Ranma to stoop a bit lower than he'd like when faced with a cure, but this was just insane! For Happosai no less! Was he out of his mind! Ryouga would have beat some sense into Ranma's head that moment, if he wasn't too busy holding his nose for dear life.
Genma's jaw was firmly planted on the ground. The best words to describe what he was thinking at the time were "F The What!". In a state of panic, he looked around for any sign of Nodoka. Lord knows what would happen if she showed up. His gaze landed on Akane, her bangs obscuring her eyes, fist clenched…that wasn't a good sign at all. Akane was going through a whole list of thoughts, slowly building to the inevitable…
'Is that really Ranma!' Came first
'He's pulling that off so well…' Came next
'I wish I could look good in something like that…' Came third
'What am I thinking? He's not even a real girl!' Fourth
'He's degrading women everywhere with this! In front of Happosai no less!' Fifth
'Ranma no Hentai!' Sixth, and then, for the finale…
'DIE!'
A huge, red aura flowed around Akane, sapping the life from plant life and insects that were unlucky enough to be in it's presence. The air around her heated up a hundred degrees in the span of two seconds. Genma, who was closest to Akane at that time, slowly backed away from her, splashing himself with cold water and putting up his "I'm just a cute little Panda!" sign up for good measure.
'Oh My! I had lingerie just like that! But it disappeared a few days ago…' Kasumi though, her hand over her mouth in shock. Soun was currently running a few laps around the Tendo residence, waterfalls gushing out of his eyes while he cried that his future son was a shameless cross dresser.
"WOAH MAMA!" Happosai exclaimed. Even HE hadn't really expected that Ranma would do this so easily. Honestly, he was as shocked as the rest of the yard was. If part one of his plan was this great… Happosai gave another sick giggle and started to hop toward the red head. As soon as the old pervert moved, the yard was broken from it's trance.
"Give me the bottle old man!" Ryouga yelled as he charged Happosai, swiping for the water.
"Out of the way Pig-boy!" Mousse yelled as he leapt to the roof and whacked Ryouga with a toy swan and then went after the old master. Happosai simply hopped out of the charging teen's way, and he looked at Ranma with stars in his eyes.
Master's still distracted! I still have a chance to… Genma-panda's sign read, about to make a move for the bottle when…
"Saotome! Have you taught your son no shame!" Soun yelled at Genma, tears streaking his face.
Soun! Not now, I have to…
"How can you expect to withhold the honor of the Anything-Goes school of martial arts if your son has no problem dressing in such a manner!" The two friends continued to argue, forgetting Happosai completely…
"I'm coming my sweet Ranma-chan!" Happosai sang as he hopped toward the red head.
'That's right you pervert, come and give me the cure!' Ranma thought with a grin on her face, planning for Happosai's funeral all the while. That was, until…
"Rrrraaaaaannmmmaaaaaaaa…!" Akane was right beside Ranma, her eyes were filled with pure feminine rage. Her hands tightly gripping her mallet, and her aura sapping the life of everything within a few inches of it and burning anything within a foot of her. Ranma gulped as she saw Akane preparing to strike.
"Now Akane…um…I think you should calm down…err…I mean, this is my best shot at a cure and…"
"You shameless pervert! I thought you would draw the line at flaunting to a sick pervert like Happosai!" Akane said near satanic voice.
"C'mon A-akane! You're overreact…"
"DIE!" Akane swung her mallet like a baseball bat, right at Ranma's face. Ranma was sent flying forward, right into Happosai, crashing into him in mid-air and causing the old man to toss the bottle upward.
The water! Genma-panda looked in shock as the bottle flipped in the air, it's top loosening, and was falling into the Koi pond. Pushing Soun aside, Genma leapt forward to grab, but was met with a foot to his face.
"Sorry old man!" Ryouga said, bottle in hand. "This water belongs to…"
"ME!" Mousse cried, as he sent a flying kick to Ryouga's gut, making him toss the bottle forward. Fortunately for Ryouga, the kick had sent him flying far enough so the he wouldn't land, nor get splashed by the pool's water. The same couldn't be said for Mousse.
Quack!
The blue bottle flipped in the air, moving forward, slowly but surely. The whole yard, save for an unconscious Ranma-chan and Happosai, gazed in shock as the bottle's top finally came off, the contents threatening to spill all over the place. Finally, the bottle landed…
Gulp!
…right inside Ranma mouth. The crowd watched in horror as she unconsciously swallowed the glowing contents of the bottle, until there was not a drop left. A second later, Ranma was up on her feet again, gagging, coughing, and blue in the face.
"Agh! What the hell did I just drink! It tastes worse then Akane's cooking…eh?" Ranma gave a twitch of fear as she saw four figures staring at her, all had the same, life-draining aura.
"Ranma Saotome…you have utterly ruined my life!"
Boy! Just what the hell were you thinking!
"So you STILL insist on insulting my cooking!"
Quack! Quack!
"Uh-oh…" Ranma said to herself…
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Somewhere else…
It had been a good day so far for Tatewaki Kuno (Age 17). His sister was behaving somewhat normally (Though I'm afraid of what the Kuno's consider normal), he had just found a few thousand yen on the ground while he was walking to school, and he had just won a Kendo tournament yesterday. Put simple, Kuno was happy, and the only thing missing was…
"WAUGH!"
A certain, highly undressed red head to fall from the sky and into his outstretched arms.
"Ah! I see that thou, My Pigtailed goddess, hath changed thine hairstyle and thrown yourself into my arms to appease me! I am most pleased, and you shall date with me!' Kuno said proudly, with a gigantic grin.
"Dear God, kill me now…" Ranma muttered.
-------------------------------- ------------------
It was safe to say that Ranma was not a very happy Aqua-transsexual. Not only had she lost possibly the best cure for her curse that morning, she had to run like mad from a hormone super charged Kuno, while still in bra and panties; and if the hungry stares, perverted comments, and shocked gasps of random people weren't enough to screw up any possibility of a happy day, Ranma got sick, very sick. Ranma was able to take a day off of school, which was a good thing; until he found a very ticked off Ryouga had been invited to stay the night.
"Well we couldn't just let him wander again, not after how he tried to help you out!" Akane said firmly. Ranma just rolled her eyes.
"Help me out…yeah, that was what he was tryin' to do." Ranma said sarcastically 'My ass…'
"Honestly Ranma, you're such a jerk! Why can't you be more thankful!" Akane said as she walked out Ranma's room, just for Ryouga to take her place.
"Ranma! I really really want to kill you right now…" Ryouga snarled "You're so lucky that you're sick!"
"Aww! Can't kick a man while he's down? How noble of you P-chan!" Ranma laughed weakly, holding her stomach right after. "Aw man, I think I'm gonna hurl!"
"Well that's what you get for drinking that water! Seriously, what the hell were you thinking!"
"I don't know, why don't you ask the un-cute tomboy that smacked me with the mallet…" Ranma muttered.
"How DARE you bring Akane into this! You're the one that swallowed the water! And she wouldn't have gotten so mad if you didn't put on that ridiculous…b-b-brr…" A trickle of blood rolled out of Ryouga's nose. "Gah! Damn it!"
Ranma chuckled silently at Ryouga's plight. "Heh, you and that nose of yours …"
"Ranma, how can you laugh at a time like this! The best chance of us getting cured is probably somewhere in your bladder! It's taking all of my will power not to rip you open and look for any trace of the stuff!"
"Ryouga…do you think you're the only one who's taking this badly? I wanted to get rid of my curse too, ya know. Augh, I can barely move…"
"Hmph! You should have thought of that before your drank the water."
"I told you! That ain't my…" Ranma groaned mid-sentence, holding her stomach. 'Aw man, at least Akane's cooking only leaves you sick for about a day. The way this is going, I'm gonna be out of it for a week.' Ranma thought to herself.
"Heh, maybe I should leave you alone now. You're going to need your rest, RanKO!" Ryouga laughed as he walked out of the door to the hallway. Ranma could only sit up and give a weak growl before she slumped back onto her futon. She gave a sigh before she brought the covers over herself.
"When I get better, I'm going to have me some ham…"
--------------------- ---------------------------
Ranma awoke with a deep yawn, sitting up on her futon. She looked down at herself and sighed.
'A hot bath should do me good, Lord know I need one…'
Groggily, she got up and did a few stretches before she left for the bathroom. After splashing herself and soaping up, the red head filled the furo with hot water, and stepped inside…and nothing happened. Her eyes grew wide as she stared at herself. The creamy smooth skin, the small frame, curves, red hair. There was no denying it, Ranma was still a girl. Too shocked to make coherent words, Ranma did the next best thing…
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Ranma sank into the furo, screaming her lungs out. Right outside the door, she heard loud foot steps.
"Ranma! Ranma! What's wrong!"
"IomigawdI'm stillomigawdI didn'tomigawd" Ranma could barely get anything out of her mouth, and what she did was garbled. She was too shocked at that one moment to say anything. Then, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind.
"Ranma, honey, of course you're still a woman, you've been a woman for the past eight years."
Ranma turned her head, tears threatening to fall down her face, until she saw the calm, smiling face of…Ryouga! Well, not the same one that Ranma knew. This Ryouga had longer hair, and looked a bit older. No longer did he have a look of loneliness and depression. One could say he was actually…happy! Ranma blinked, a bewildered look on her face.
"Daddy…? Whats wrong with Mommy? I she hurt…?"
Ranma turned her head and blinked again. She saw a tired little girl before her, with red hair, two pigtails, and big, blue eyes…
"Don't worry Yoiko. Mommy's fine, Daddy's got her." Ryouga smiled at the child. Yoiko flashed a bug wide grin, bearing her fangs. Ranma's eyes went wide in recognition.
Right at that moment, Ranma was hit with a flood of memories. She remembered the day when she swallowed the nameless Jusenkyo water; and just the following day, the guide had visited the Tendo Dojo and told her that drinking the water instead of splashing one's self with it would permanently lock the curse. This devastated Ranma, not only had he lost the masculinity that he based his whole life on forever, but this ensured that he would never be able to face his mother unless he wanted to commit seppuku. At that time, though, seppuku didn't seem so bad. Ranma, normally the epitome of spirit, was broken; there was no longer a cure for him, not even the Nannichuan could do anything now. The whole Tendo household tried their hardest to get his spirits back up, even Genma showed genuine worry for his son turned daughter. But one day, Ranma disappeared, leaving only a note that said "I will not return until I become a man again".
Ranma was leaving Nerima as quickly as possible. Not planning on ever coming back. The shame of being permanently curse was to much for her, and she vowed not to let any of her other fiancés/friends/mortal enemies see her like this. Unfortunately, she didn't bet on randomly running into Ryouga who, instead going into daydream mode when he heard about Ranma's locked curse, was absolutely heartbroken for the red head. Not wanting to just have a pity party for his rival, Ryouga offered to tag along with Ranma for any kind of cure they could find. Long story short, actual female instincts started to kick in (To Ranma's horror); the two of them became near inseparable and eventually fell in love with each other, getting married not too long after. It had been eight years since then, in which time they had a daughter named Yoiko (A cookie for anyone who knows where they got that from…).
Ranma sighed, wiping any trace of shock, sadness and the like from her face. She gave the little girl a goddess-like smile that would make even Kasumi jealous.
"Yes, Yoiko, I'm fine, don't worry about me." Ranma beamed. "Mommy was just remembering some old things, it's alright now. Go ahead and get ready for school, I'll meet you down in a minute."
"Okay Mommy!" The girl smiled and ran off, leaving her parents alone. Ryouga turned to Ranma with a worried look on his face.
"Ranma, is everything okay? If anything is stressing you, tell me, okay…?" Ryouga said. Ranma simply gave a warm smile and cupped Ryouga's face.
"Dom't worry hon, everything's okay with me." Ranma drew Ryouga close and hugged him. "I was still half asleep, it happens sometime."
"Yeah…" Ryouga smiled, returning the hug.
"It's funny, isn't it?"
"What is?" Ryouga asked. Ranma broke the hug and brought Ryouga's forehead to her's, hands still cupping his face.
"I mean you and me. If we had found out about this when we were younger, then we would have surely killed ourselves, or each other." Ranma said. Ryouga smirked a little.
"Mainly each other…" Ryouga stated. Ranma then nudged her nose with his and looked deep into Ryouga's eyes.
"But now, the thought of us not being together is even harder to stomach. Maybe it was the curse's fault, but that doesn't matter to me anymore. Ryouga, you truly complete me, and I'm glad to be your wife."
"Ranma…"
The two lovers gazed deeply into each other's eyes. Not a trace a their former malice was left in them; only deep, unconditional…
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Ryouga awoke in a cold sweat. He was panting as if he had just finished a marathon, his face was a mix of red and puke green, and his eyes were bulged so wide that even an American cartoon character would get jealous. Ryouga had his share of bad dreams before (The last one in recent memory included Akane in a Dr.Mario get-up with a chainsaw in hand, saying it was time for P-chan's check-up), but THIS…he would have to go on a LONG training trip to get this horrible vision out of his head. The mere thought of the concept made him want to throw up. Ryouga looked frantically around his surroundings. He was still in the Tendo residence's training hall, which he was offered by Akane. He looked at the large, spacious room and sighed, he was still in Nerima, safe and sound. To his left was his travel pack, and to his right was a red-headed girl with a pigtail cuddling next to him. Ryouga gave out a sigh of relief, everything was right with the world. He was…wait…
Somewhere in America, a glass broke…
"What's happening! Ryouga! What's wrong!" Akane said, as she burst into the Dojo. She saw Ryouga was huddled in the corner, rendered as a pillar of salt.. His eyes were bulging from his head, his mouth was weighed down to the floor, and his finger was pointed toward his futon, where Ranma-chan was sitting up, stretching her arms and yawning. The red head looked at Ryouga, then turned to Akane and waved at her with a smile on her face. Akane twitched, a familiar, and dreaded aura swirled around her, until her faithful mallet appeared.
"Ranma…is this how you treat a guest! By playing perverted games like this!" Akane snarled. Ranma-chan tilted her head to the side, giving Akane a questioning look.
"Nothing to say for yourself, eh? Then DIE!" Akane went in to strike Ranma-chan. The red headed girl lept out of the way, and through the door, a piller of righteous, feminine rage following close behind. Only a second later, Ranma, male-type, walked through the door. Unfortunately, this was enough time for Ryouga to go from a white slab of shock, to a vessel filled with enough murderous intent to make even Akuma take a step backward.
"What's wit all the noise? Can't a guy get some sleep here?" Ranma said groggily, his eyes still half closed.
"Ranma Saotome, I see that you have finally revealed your true colors you pervert!" Ryouga growled, summoning enough suffocating aura to make the collective cast of Shounen Jump magazine green with envy.
"What you talkin' 'bout Ryouga?" Ranma asked.
"Changing to your girl form and coming into my room while I slept. Even after what happened yesterday, I still never thought you would stoop this low…" Ryouga said, seeming to forget the times where Ranma dressed up as a girl and claimed to be his Fiancé…"You've done some pretty bad things Ranma, but this takes the cake! Ranma Saotome! Prepare to DIE!"
"Uwah?" Ranma sprang out of the way, barely dodging a Shishi Hokoudan. "Ryouga? What the hell are you on! Why would I ever want to sleep with you!" Ranma yelled, dodging a set of Ryouga's infinite bandannas.
"No more games Saotome! Today I end your life!" Ryouga roared, chasing after the fleeing pig-tailed boy.
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Kasumi was busy in the kitchen. She was normally up the earliest, being the family's mother figure/backbone (Cause we all know Soun lost his years ago…). She had just finished taking her bath and was about to start…
"Get back here you pervert!"
Kasumi blinked, shocked to find that anyone else was up this early. She watched as Akane chased Ranma-chan with her handy-dandy mallet. Other people, seeing this girl so eager to hurt someone, would probably have tried to stop Akane, or called the police. But, since this was the Tendo residence…
"Well aren't they getting along well!" Kasumi smiled and went back to…
"Ryouga! Calm down! It wasn't me! I didn't do nothin'!"
"Silence you enemy of women!"
Kasumi blinked again. Now she was really confused. She had just seen Ranma-chan run through the Kitchen with Akane. Now, Ranma was in his male-form and was being chased by Ryouga. This wouldn't be an issue, if those events hadn't happened seconds within each other. "Oh my! When did Ranma-kun learn to make hot water this fast…" Kasumi placed her finger to her lip in wonder. Right then, both parties appeared, at the same time.
"I'll teach YOU to play with Ryouga's Head!" Akane, still chasing Ranma-chan yelled
"I'll teach YOU to give me weird dreams!" Ryouga, still chasing Ranma yelled
"What are ya talkin' about! Don't blame me for…" Right then, Ranma ran head first into his petite counter part. Ryouga and Akane both stopped their assault and gazed in shock at the two. Kasumi kept being Kasumi…
"Oh My! I guess I have to make more for Ranma-chan."
'Two Ranma's!' Akane thought as her eyes darted back and forth at each of the pig-tailed teenagers.
'One male, one female..' Ryouga thought, his eyes wide as his mind went through all the possible tricks and tortures Ranma could inflict upon him now that he had an accomplice.
Ranma and Ranma-chan were locked in each other's gazes. Ranma was every bit as shocked as Ryouga and Akane were. Ranma-chan, on the other hand, looked a bit miffed as she looked at him. She had a small frown on her face, and her cheeks were a little puffed.
'If my girl form is in front of me, then…' Ranma hopped to his feet, ran to the backyard, and jumped in to the Koi pond…and nothing happened. Ranma's eyes started to sparkle a he looked at himself. His hands were the same, skin, height, muscle…and no breasts!
"I…am…a…MAN!" Ranma cried for joy. A symbolic sun shone upon him through the clouds.
"You mean, the cure still worked!" Akane said with a smile at this unexpected turn of events.
'Wait a minute…if that Ranma's fully male, and the Ranma I found is female, then…' Ryouga mentally put two and two together, and his face turned white. Inside his mind, a battle was taking place. It was between the fact that Ryouga hated Ranma, may he be male OR (and especially) female, and the fact that he had just slept in the same bed with a female. Only a second later, Ryouga was laying face first in a pool of his own, nasally produced blood. I think we know who won…
Ranma-chan stayed quiet. She looked at Ranma as he splashed around in the water like it was the best thing ever created. Her gaze went to Akane, who was shining like the sun, smiling as if she had just won the lottery. She then looked at Ryouga, who was still lying there in his blood. The twitching and moaning for the teen were the only indications that he was still alive. No one was really paying any mind to her at all, except for maybe Kasumi, but she was busy cooking. So, she did the best thing a person in her condition could do…
She grabbed a stick, and poked Ryouga…
Authors Notes:
Ah...my first Ranma fanfic. I definitely took my sweet time uploading this one. I wrote this when I first really started getting into the Ranma ½ manga and fanfiction. The Original idea came after reading "The Two Ranmas" arc in the manga, then reading an assortment of split fics (My personal favorite being Nullifier 122). Since then, I became more and more familier with the going ons in not only the cannon, but the fannon world as well. This actually discouraged me from uploading this story because of the fact that most 'Split-fics" act the and tends to die off after the novelty of girl and boy Ranma wear off. Eventually, though, i got sick of this story just sitting around and taking up space. Besides, some of the mistakes i made and contrivances I used could actually give it a more parody feel, which is what I was going for anyway...
Be Attitude For Gains!