Author's note: (Comic Book Spoilers ahead): I was so excited to hear that at least one of Michonne's daughters are alive in the comics. And I couldn't believe that it matched up so well with my story. I started writing this way before that revelation came out, but I hope and pray that Andre is alive on the show too. That would be amazing, and some fresh, new territory for the show. Dealing with what it's like to re-introduce yourself to your child. Michonne deserves all the happiness in the world, so I would be so glad if she got her son back, especially after them killing off Carl. Maybe it can be Rick, Michonne, Judith and Andre? Who knows. Not like that would ever replace Carl, but I think it would help Michonne to heal more fully from her PTSD which reared its ugly head in episode 8.8 when she tore that Savior apart, and I'm sure it will continue into the second half of season 8.
"You said you took him with you. My father, and… and Uncle Terry. You said you mutilated them. What does that mean?" Double A asked, wrapping his arms across his chest, almost hugging himself.
Michonne blinked rapidly and looked down at the ground. She then angled her body away from her son. This was the hardest talk she'd ever had to have in her life. It was much harder than the first time she spoke about what she'd done with Carl. How do you tell your son you tore his father apart? That you wandered through the woods with his dead body for weeks? That you spoke to it? Ate with it? That it protected you, and carried your supplies, and was your only company when you were all alone?
Shame flooded through Michonne. "I'm sorry" she said softly, her voice breaking as she continued to look at the ground.
"He… he was dead" Double A said, as if he were trying to understand. Michonne didn't know if he was asking for confirmation, or telling her that what she did was acceptable because he was dead.
"I…" Michonne began, but a lump in her throat made her stop to swallow. "I cut off his arms so he couldn't scratch me. I cut off his jaw so he couldn't bite me. And I led him and his friend on a chain that I found. I wrapped it around their necks and led them around like dogs. Like… pets. I treated him like an animal because I thought that was what he deserved" Michonne confessed, "and I kept him because I thought that was what I deserved". She was too afraid to look into Andre's eyes, but she accepted whatever emotions he may have. She expected disgust, anger, hatred, all of the feelings that she felt towards her former self. She couldn't look him in the eye, but she was ready to take whatever it was he wanted to dish out.
"You survived all that time by yourself? With… with just them?" he asked, squinting his eyes and leaning in towards her as if he could read her mind.
"Yes. For weeks." Michonne confirmed, nodding her head.
Double A leaned away again and shook his head. Michonne could see him in her peripheral vision and the guilt felt like a weight on her soul. She'd thought she had put her guilt away. Buried it so that it was still there, but it was deep underneath the surface. But all it took was Andre to bring the guilt up from it's grave like a Walker.
'Now he'll really hate me' Michonne thought.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that" Double A said, and Michonne's head shot up towards his in a second. "It must've been hard to go through all of that alone. You thought I was dead, and he was dead, and you didn't have anyone."
Michonne was speechless. She couldn't believe he understood the situation so easily. He didn't blame her. He didn't hate her.
"What I did to him, it wasn't right. He didn't deserve it. Especially now that I know that he did something right. He did something that led to you still being alive. He was your father and he didn't deserve that. Neither did Terry. I was just… I was out of my mind in grief. I lost myself for a long time."
"What made you how you are now?" Double A asked.
"When I was at one of my lowest points, I met a woman named Andrea, and then I met my husband Rick, and Carl. They taught me that it was okay to live and trust people again."
"And you moved on?" he asked, a hint of bitterness in his voice.
"No" Michonne said fiercely, "I never moved on. I just learned to live with the pain of losing you. I learned that I didn't have to be a monster. Carl and Judith taught me that I could be a mom again, and Kaleb was my hope that I could do this right. That I could raise my own child in this world and have it survive. He wasn't a replacement for you, he was… a tribute to you I guess. His middle name is Andre, after you. So that some part of you was still alive in him."
Michonne smiled and looked down at her necklace as if she'd just remembered it was there.
"Do you remember this?" she asked excitedly, holding her M necklace up so Double A could see. He squinted his eyes at the golden M that hung from a chain around her neck. He seemed like he wanted to remember it so badly, but he shook his head. "This necklace, you picked it out for me for Mother's day. It was the first Mothers day present you ever gave me. You told me the M was for mommy, and you were so proud of the present you picked for me. It was the only thing I had left of you, and I never took it off. I would sleep holding on to it. It comforted me. It helped me to remember you, since I had nothing else to remember you by except memories."
Andre thought on Michonne's words and was deeply touched. It was a revelation that his mother had held on to his memory for so long, even after thinking he was dead. He always felt slightly out of place with his family. He loved his parents, and they had loved him deeply, but he knew that he had a past that he knew nothing about, a family that he knew nothing about. Maybe relatives that were still alive somewhere. He felt cheated in some way, that he didn't know anything about himself. And now, to find out that his mother had loved him so deeply, and his brother was named after him, and his father had probably died for him, it was just overwhelming.
"Why didn't you tell Kaleb about me?" Andre asked.
"I didn't… I just… I thought you were dead and I… it just…"
"It didn't matter." Andre said.
"No. Not that. But I didn't want to put that sadness on him. There are so many things that happened to me, to his father, that we never told him, because we didn't have to. We didn't want to burden him with our past. He's lucky to have been born when things were settled, when things were stable. We didn't want him and Judith to have to deal with what Carl had gone through."
"You were protecting him."
"Yea"
"Will you tell him?"
"Of course. I want him to know about you. I want him to know his brother."
When Double A went silent again, Michonne added "I know this is a lot. Are there any other questions you have for me?"
Double A smiled and shook his head. "I have so many. I've thought about this moment so many times and I've always had dozens and dozens of questions, but I can't think of them now."
Michonne smiled and leaned against a tree herself. "I guess it's just a bit of a shock. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Can I ask you some questions?"
Double A nodded. "Where were you found? Were you hurt? Did you say anything? What were you like growing up? What were your favorite things to do? What's your favorite color? I want to know all about you. I want to know all the things I missed. How did you meet Gabrielle? How long have you been married? Where did you get…"
"Whoa, hold on!" Double A laughed, "now you sound like me!"
Michonne smiled. "I just… I've missed a lot" Michonne said bashfully.
"Okay I'll tell you everything my parents have told me about when they found me. Actually, my dad found me. He said he was walking down the highway and he just saw me sitting there on the side of the road. I was so still he almost didn't see me, he only noticed me when I moved my head."
"What highway?" Michonne interrupted. She had searched every highway and road near the camp and had never found anything.
"I don't know" Andre said. "He said he spotted me there all by myself. No shoes, no jacket. Just an undershirt and jeans. He said I had blood all over me. He said I wasn't crying or yelling, I was just still like… he said like a baby deer thats only defense was to stay still and hope no one noticed it."
Michonne clasped her hands against her mouth and couldn't help the tears that tumbled from her eyes. Her baby. He was all alone. And God knows what he had been through to get to that highway.
"My dad said he picked me up, he asked me where I'd come from, who I was with, but I just clung to him and closed my eyes. I wouldn't talk, I wouldn't open my eyes, like I didn't want to see what was happening around me. My dad said he didn't know what to do. He had looked around to see if anyone was nearby but there was no one, so he just took me with him. He was barely surviving himself, and he'd never raised a kid before, especially not a traumatized one, but he did what he could. He said I didn't speak for the first four days. He thought I couldn't speak, like something was wrong with me. He told me the first word I said to him was goodnight when he'd tucked me in, and it startled him so much he fell backwards on his butt."
Double A chuckled and Michonne smiled through her tears.
"He sounds like he was a good man" Michonne said.
"He was. A week after he found me he found my mom. They didn't know each other before. We all became a family along the way. Mom always said I was the one that drew her to dad. If he was alone she never would've given him a chance, but there was something unarming about a man taking care of his son. And when she found out he had only found me a week before, she was sold."
Michonne giggled at the familiarity. She could certainly relate to the attractiveness of a man who cared for his children. Especially children who weren't genetically his.
"My mom and dad were good people and they never made me feel like I wasn't theirs, even though I knew I wasn't. I wasn't the easiest kid. I could be defiant sometimes, I ran away once or twice, especially in my tweens. I felt like they babied me too much sometimes and I wanted to be an adult. They were so patient with me. "
Double A looked away from Michonne and his lip began to tremble. "I remember one time I argued with my mom, and I was so angry I… I blurted out she wasn't my real mom anyway, why did she care?" He sniffled.
"She looked like I'd slapped her. Like I physically slapped her. Like I'd crushed her. I'd never seen her look like that before. I knew the moment the words came out my mouth that I wanted to take them back. I felt so guilty for saying that to her. After everything, y'know?"
Michonne nodded. She imagined the hurt that his adoptive mother must've felt. She imagined how much it would hurt if Judith said something like that to her.
"I got better once we found my sister. We found her in a tent, all alone, like I was. When we had her, I felt like I had someone to take care of. Someone to watch out for. She made me feel grown, because she felt safe with me and I wanted to protect her. It didn't work though", Double A said.
"What happened to her?" Michonne asked.
"She got sick. Something we couldn't fix. It was some kind of severe pneumonia. I was there when she died. It was… horrible" he said, shaking his head.
"I'm sorry" Michonne said.
"Yea" he said. "I'm just grateful I got to know her, y'know? She was a great kid." Double A cleared his throat and continued. "So anyway, I met Gabrielle here, at WC. She got here with her grandparents, they passed away. But we've been married for two years. Mom was so happy when we decided to get married. She always said she thought I'd be a bachelor forever. If it were up to her she would've hooked me up with someone years ago. She used to say 'you're young, but life is too short. And I want some grandbabies!'" Double A said with a chuckle, his eyes gazing into the distance as he remembered the fond memories. "My mom, she was my best friend. And my dad saved my life. I was lucky to have great people raise me."
Michonne nodded and smiled. She was grateful to the people who had taken in her little boy.
"Andr… Double A" Michonne said, catching herself.
"Yea?" He asked.
"Would you mind if… can I… can I hug you?" Michonne asked.
"Yea. Sure." He said with a shrug.
Michonne stepped forward slowly, feeling as if she were in a dream. She reached out and wrapped her arms around her son's shoulders. Shoulders she hadn't felt in twenty years. She couldn't help the tears that freely flowed down her cheeks. Her boy. Her Andre. She squeezed him tighter, burying her face into his shoulder, smelling his scent. He didn't smell the same as he did when he was a baby. His shoulders were muscular and strong like the man he was. He smelled like sweat, and dirt from the fields where he worked, but she breathed it in anyway. He was with her. Finally.
"I'm… I'm sorry" Michonne sobbed, "it's just been so long since I got to hold you."
"It's okay" Double A said, patting her on the back. "It's okay Michonne."
He allowed her to hold him for a few minutes more, an occasional tear escaping his eye at how much it meant to her to touch him.
***can08writer***
After talking to Double A, he had gone off to handle responsibilities he had as leader of Washington Caverns. Michonne stayed behind a little longer to reflect on what just happened. She needed a moment to let it sink in that she had just hugged Andre.
As she leaned against a tree, her mind couldn't help but think of Mike. She hadn't spoken to him since after they'd lost their prison home. That was when she had finally stopped punishing herself about Andre's death.
The last time she'd spoken to Mike she had told him that she finally knew why it was worth it to continue in this world. Why it was worth it to fight and not give up, and now, the reasons were right in front of her. Finding Rick and Carl, raising Judith and Kaleb, and now, finding their Peanut.
Michonne closed her eyes and concentrated on Mike.
Mike. It's me. I know I haven't spoken to you in a long time. I hope you're okay, wherever you are. I hope you've found peace. I just wanted to let you know that I found our baby. I found Andre. He's grown up, he's a man now, but his face looks so much like you.
I wish you could see him. He's so beautiful Mike, and he has a wife, and a baby daughter, Monique. And he's happy and healthy, and most importantly he's alive. I don't know what you did, and I don't know how you did it, but you saved him, I know you did. And I'm so sorry about how I treated you, what I said to you while you were dying in the tent. How I treated you and Terry after... I'm so sorry that I didn't have faith in you, and that I carried so much anger towards you in my heart. It nearly destroyed me.
Thank you for returning our son to me. Our Peanut. He remembers you telling him to run. The only thing he remembers about you is you saving his life, but I promise to teach him more. I hope if you couldn't rest before you can rest now, knowing that our family is back together. Before all of this, I loved you, and today I remembered exactly why. Sleep well honey.
When she was done, Michonne opened her eyes and looked up at the sky. She hoped Mike could hear her message to him.
***can08writer***
When Michonne made it back to her family, the sun had set and they were sitting around the campfire sipping vegetable soup from Washington Cavern's gardens. She couldn't help but notice that Kaleb and Akisho weren't sitting next to each other like they usually were.
Rick jumped up when he saw her, and took a step to meet her but she held up her hand that he should stay. He waited as she approached.
"You okay?" Rick asked softly. Michonne shocked him when she broke into a wide smile and placed her hand on his arm.
"Yea. I'm okay" she replied.
Michonne sat down on a log next to Judith, and she passed her mother a bowl of soup.
"Granny, tomorrow can me, you, and Collin go take Peppermint for a ride? He's been bored since we stayed here, he wants to go run. Flame wants to run too" Tabitha begged, hoping that mention of Michonne's horse would convince her grandmother to go.
"It's too dangerous to leave here just to go for a ride Tabby", Michonne said.
"But Peppermint is bored!"
"How about we walk Peppermint and Flame around inside of the community. Okay?" Michonne bargained.
Tabitha stuck out her lip in displeasure but continued to eat her soup.
There were a few moments of silence, when Kaleb broke it with an outburst that sounded like he'd been holding it in for a while. "Okay, since no one else is asking it, Mom what's going on with you and Double A?" Kaleb asked.
The entire family looked up at Kaleb in surprise, and it felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the surrounding area.
"Kaleb!" Rick said, trying to protect Michonne from more emotional stress, but she held up her hand towards Rick again to stop him.
"You two have been acting weird since we got here. At dinner, when you couldn't stop staring at him, and then after dinner you were in your tent all day, and then just now when he asked to talk to you. What is going on? He said to ask you. He said you knew him from before?"
Michonne sighed, and looked from Rick to Carl who were both so tense that their food was long forgotten. Judith was staring at her intensely, as she too was wondering what was going on with her mother.
Michonne knew it was time to speak up, Kaleb and Judith deserved to know the truth.
"Kaleb, I never told you this, but before I met your father I had another family. I had a son. I thought he was dead for a long time, long before you were even born. But… but he's not."
"You had a son?" Judith asked slowly, trying to process the information.
"What does that have to do with Double A?" Kaleb asked, still confused about what she was saying.
"Double A is my son. My son, Andre."
Kaleb tilted his head to the side and squinted his eyes. Michonne couldn't help but notice how much he had Rick's facial expressions.
"You're joking, right?" Kaleb asked, looking to Rick and then Carl as confirmation that this was one big joke.
"Double A is your son?" Judith asked again, still trying to comprehend Michonne's words.
"How does that even happen?" Kaleb asked, shaking his head. "What do you mean… like you had another kid all this time and you never told us? How?"
"I thought he was dead" Michonne said. "He was so young when I lost him, I thought there was no way he could survive. But his parents found him and took care of him when I couldn't. They're why he's alive today."
"I… wait… how?" Kaleb asked. "What?"
"How do you know he's your son?" Judith asked, pulling herself together.
"I know. Judith, you should know a mother never forgets her children's faces." Michonne replied.
"Wait, so he's like my step-brother?" Kaleb asked.
"He's your half-brother" Rick replied.
Kaleb took a pause to think about Rick's words. Michonne watched him nervously. "Cool!" he said, surprising them all.
Michonne smiled at Kaleb's enthusiasm. She thought he'd be angry or upset, but she wasn't expecting excited.
Kaleb turned to look at Carl. "You don't seem too surprised."
"I knew about Andre before, I just didn't know he's still alive." Carl said.
"So I have a half brother that's in charge here" Kaleb said with a proud smirk.
Akisho rolled her eyes and took another spoonful of soup.
"Mom, why didn't you tell me about him? Before all this? You named me after him, right?"
"I did name you after him. But I didn't tell you because I wanted to save you from sadness that you didn't have to experience. I thought he was dead and he was never coming back. I didn't want to burden you with a past that wasn't yours."
Kaleb nodded thoughtfully as he chewed his lip. Judith still looked shocked as she stared at her mother silently. Rick and Carl were looking at Michonne, wondering what gave her the strength to talk about this so openly now, devoid of tears. Her talk with her son must've went better than expected.
"So what happens next?" Judith asked softly. "Is Double A going to come back with us to Alexandria?"
Michonne had been wondering the same thing herself.
"I doubt it" she replied. "He's in charge of this town, these people, he can't just leave. But I want to get to know him and his family more. I have to."
"Double A asked me to stay here" Kaleb admitted, "I think it was before he knew we were brothers. He asked me to think about taking on a job here."
"No." Rick said flat out. Kaleb's brow wrinkled and his nose flared as he looked at his father. "You didn't even let me finish!" He said angrily.
"Rick…" Michonne cut in. She nodded at Kaleb to allow him to continue.
Kaleb glanced over at Akisho who was purposely not giving him eye contact, and playing around in her soup bowl.
"I thought about it, and this could be a new opportunity for me, and for Alexandria too. We can have a new group of allies and people to trade with. So, I've… I've decided to stay here, and open a trade route between Alexandria and WC. But first, I'm gonna make sure Akisho gets back to Alexandria to see about her family."
"You're not staying here" Rick said. "You're only 16 and we barely know these people. You're just a…"
"I'm not a kid, Dad" Kaleb said, his voice getting louder. "Back in Alexandria the rule was once you turn 16 you can control your own life, right? Well I'm taking control. If I stay it'll help you all. We'll all benefit from a trade route, including anyone in Alexandria who's still alive. I can still come to visit. It's not like you'll never see me again."
Akisho put her bowl down on the floor. "Excuse me" she said quickly, before walking away from the campfire. Kaleb watched her closely, as she walked away, wanting to go after her, but this conversation was important for him to have.
"I think if he's thought this out, and he really wants to stay, he should" Carl said, and Kaleb and Rick's eyes both turned to him.
"You did say 16 is the age we can start making decisions for ourselves. Hell, you know what Judith and I did at 16. If Kaleb thinks he's mature enough to do this, I think we should let him. Besides, he has a big brother here watching his back."
Kaleb stared at Carl in disbelief that his brother was actually on his side for him to stay here. Carl had always been overprotective of his little brother, trying to protect and shield him from the world, and for once he was voting for letting him experience it.
Carl continued, "Dad, I know what I said before, but if this is what Kaleb feels he needs to do, I think he should. We've taught him what it means to be responsible, and kind, and safe. Now it's time to let him use what we've taught him. We can always come back here to see him, and Andre will take care of him, I know he will."
Judith nodded as well. "If Kaleb stays, I'll stay too, with the girls. The trip back is too far and dangerous for them to make when there's no guarantee what we'll find when we get back. And… there isn't much for us back there now. This could be a new start for the girls and I, and this baby. And there's a doctor here. I can keep an eye out for Kaleb too."
"I mean, either way I'm gonna come back with you to Alexandria. I have to, for Akisho. But then I'll return here." Kaleb added.
Rick sighed and shook his head. "Maybe it's me. Maybe it makes me feel safer to know you're with us. This is very hard for me. You're my son, my baby, and… I'll think about it."
Kaleb went to open his mouth again, but Michonne shook her head in a way that told him not to press it right now.
Kaleb nodded at his mother, trusting she knew when Rick would or wouldn't be convinced. He'd wait to have this conversation with his father again.
***can08writer***
After Judith had put her girls to bed, she stepped outside of her tent to get some fresh air. She had been thinking about Tony a lot lately, remembering their date nights, and the fun times that they'd had. She missed him greatly, and she slept next to his sleeping bag at night. It still smelled like him, after all this time, and it helped her to get to sleep.
She thought about how Tony would've liked it here at Washington Caverns. This was the kind of refuge he was hoping his family would find at the lake. That was why he chose to not have surgery and continue on the journey even though he was bit. He wanted to make sure they were safe, and now they were.
Judith sat on a log in front of her tent and looked up at the stars. This was what Tony had wanted for them, and she would make sure that their children would have a good life here.
A creak startled Judith and she turned around to see Akisho sitting in the family's wagon on watch, with a shotgun in her lap.
"Sorry" Akisho said softly, realizing Judith forgot she was there.
"No, it's okay. I just… thought I was alone" Judith said.
Akisho nodded and then mumbled under her breath "yea, I know how that feels."
Judith heard what she said, and made her way over to the teen, climbing up next to her so they could share the wagon seat.
"Do you think anyone is even left in Alexandria?" Akisho asked. "I mean, they had to have run out of water a while ago, and there's nowhere for them to go. I mean, my dad he's… he's probably dead. Right?"
"I don't know Akisho" Judith said honestly. "I mean, we never really know unless we know, right? Look at my mom, she thought her son was dead for 20 years and now he's just back. Unless you see a body, there's always a possibility, there's always some hope."
"Do you think I should stay here with Kaleb?" Akisho asked.
"Do you want to stay?" Judith asked her.
"I want to know for sure what happened to my dad. I want to know what happened to my home. I don't know if I could forgive myself if I never came back and he was still alive all this time. But… let's say he is alive, and Alexandria is livable again. I don't know how I'd feel about Kaleb not living there with me. I love him, I really do, but I think we also want different things. Alexandria is my home, but I think he wants to make his home here."
"I can't tell you what to do" Judith said, "I don't even think I know the right answer myself, but all I can say is do what makes your heart happy. Whether that is with Kaleb or not. You're young, you haven't experienced everything that life has to offer yet. You're too young to be putting all of your eggs in Kaleb's basket. He's a great guy, but he's not finished growing into the kind of man he's going to be, and you're not finished growing into the kind of woman you'll be. It's okay if you're not sure if your decisions are right, even when you get older you're never going to be sure. But just know that it is YOUR decision to make."
"But you and Tony, you got married so young too, and it worked out for you. Weren't you scared, putting all your eggs in Tony's basket?" Akisho asked.
Judith chuckled loudly and then snorted, making Akisho burst out into laughter as well.
"Nothing in this world is easy. Being married to Tony wasn't easy either, especially since we were both so young and immature. But do what you feel you have to do, and if it works out, it was the right decision. I got married to Tony at your same age, but when I did I wasn't sure that it was the right decision. I was terrified, especially since my dad wasn't very happy, and my mom told me she thought I was still young. I mean, they were the adults, they would know, right? I thought they were seeing something that I couldn't. I wasn't sure if what I was doing was right, but I knew that if I didn't marry him, I would regret that decision for the rest of my life. So I think, in the end, you have to make the decision you won't regret for the rest of your life."
Akisho rubbed her eye and shook her long straight black hair out of her face. "If I dont go back to Alexandria, I'll regret it for the rest of my life."
"Then that's what you have to do" Judith said, placing her hand on the girl's shoulder.