The trek home to Alexandria took a week and a few days. Some of the roads they'd taken to get to Washington Caverns had flooded or had thick impenetrable mud and they had to go around. The supplies Carl won in the rain lottery was a life saver. Even though they had enough food for a two way trip, they wisely rationed just in case. They never knew what delays they'd come across on the way back.
When Rick, Carl, Collin, Kaleb, Akisho, and the escorts from Washington Caverns arrived at the gates of Alexandria, they were greeted by an eerie silence. Everyone stayed poised on their horses, listening for any sounds of life. Rick was the first to dismount from his horse. He looked at Akisho who was shaking slightly and nervously biting her lip, before he turned and approached the gate. It was locked so he pounded on the front three times.
The three loud bangs echoed through the streets. The small party waited silently, the only sounds were coming from the impatient horses who occasionally would whinny or stomp their hooves. After a minute or so of silence Rick slowly turned back towards the group, his eyes finding Akisho's.
Akisho hopped off her horse and jogged over to the gate, banging on it herself.
"Dad!" she called loudly. "Dad open the gates!"
When she still didn't get a response, she stalked over to one of the gate support beams, and began to hoist herself up.
"Wait!" Rick called.
Kaleb dismounted his horse and walked towards Akisho.
"I need to get over this fence. I need to see for myself" Akisho said resolutely.
"Wait. You don't know what's over that fence. Let me. I'll open the gate for you" Rick said, motioning for Akisho to let him climb the gate.
"No way dad, if you fall you'll break a hip. I got this" Kaleb said, giving Akisho a quick pat on her shoulder, sticking his foot in a chink in the gate, and pulling himself upwards before anyone had a chance to stop him. Rick stood underneath Kaleb while he was climbing in case he had to break his son's fall, but within a minute or so Kaleb was perched at the top of the gates.
"What do you see?" Akisho yelled from below.
Kaleb stared at the view for a few seconds, turned back to look at Akisho, and then continued onto the other side of the gate without answering.
"Kaleb!" Akisho screamed, pissed that he had ignored her question.
She stuck her foot in the same foothold Kaleb had used, but Rick placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her.
"Wait" he said, "Kaleb will open the gate."
Akisho shook herself from Rick's grasp and started to climb again, when they all heard the rattle of the locks being unhooked. Akisho dashed towards the opening gates and threw herself through as soon as there was a gap.
"Dad!" she screamed, running a few feet from the gate and then skidding to a stop.
Her eyes slowly panned across the houses that were deathly still. In the streets were dead animals. A few dogs, a cow, a couple goats, and a horse that had been tied up by a home and shot in the head. The stink of still rotting flesh permeated the air.
Kaleb came up behind Akisho, who was staring at the scene in horror.
"I can go look for you…" Kaleb began.
"No" she said, shaking her head. "This doesn't mean… He could still… I have to see for myself."
"I'm going with you" Kaleb said. Akisho didn't seem to hear him as she wandered towards her home.
"Kaleb, watch for walkers" Carl called after he dismounted his horse and pulled Collin down from his own.
Kaleb nodded as he jogged after Akisho. The smell became more and more pungent as they moved further into the ghost town, and they found out why as they passed the gazebo.
A group of Alexandrians, about 20, had committed a mass suicide. Men, women, and children had all died from single gunshots to the head. It looked like the children had been shot first, and then the adults had shot themselves.
"Oh my God!" Akisho screamed, clasping her hand over her mouth. Kaleb's mouth dropped open and he shook his head from side to side in disbelief.
"No, no, no" she moaned.
Rick and Carl were a block behind the two and couldn't see what they were looking at, but from the teens' reactions they knew what had happened.
"Collin, stay by the gates with the others" Carl told his son who was walking next to him.
"Dad I can take it" Collin said.
"Do what I said" Carl told him before continuing towards the horror at the gazebo.
Akisho turned her teary eyes to Kaleb. "I can't believe this. Jonah, and Elizabeth, and Ms. Hart…" she said, naming the various corpses on the ground.
Kaleb observed the dead children, some that had obviously been placed next to their parents in a pose to look like they were sleeping. He found Nathan and Brandy, Tabitha's two best friends, in between their parents who were still holding their guns. Kaleb couldn't help but think of what could've happened if his family stayed like everyone else.
Rick and Carl walked up behind the teens and took in the scene quietly.
"I don't see my dad" Akisho said with a sniffle, "he's not here. I have to find him."
She turned around and took off towards her home, Kaleb and the others on her heels.
She burst through her unlocked front door and into her still home.
"Dad?" she called, not expecting an answer but internally praying for one. As she'd anticipated, there was silence. She took a few steps into her kitchen and saw a notebook on the countertop that was open. Ignoring it, she thundered up the stairs and noticed all the upstairs bedroom doors were open except for the one to her father's room.
Akisho paused, suddenly losing her nerve. She had been wondering her father's fate for months and now that she was about to know for sure she was terrified.
Kaleb slowly walked up the steps behind her and stood next to her as she stared at the closed door.
"I can do it for you" he offered.
Akisho's lip trembled but she shook her head.
"No. I have to show him I'm brave" she said.
Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the bedroom door. When she heard no response, walker or otherwise, she turned the unlocked handle.
The door creaked open and revealed the extremely tidy bedroom. The window had been left open, letting fresh air and light into the room. Nothing was out of place. As Akisho pushed the door open further to reveal the bed, her worst nightmare was confirmed.
Her father lay dead on top of the covers, with a self inflicted gunshot to the head. He was dressed in his best clothes, a pair of slacks and a white button up shirt. He was wearing all the jewelry her family owned, including a gold bracelet that belonged to her mother. And clutched in his left hand was a teddy bear she'd owned since she was a baby.
Tears sprang to Akisho's eyes and she collapsed to the ground sobbing.
"Daddy!" She cried, "daddy!"
Kaleb knelt down and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, one hand on her head, the other on her back. He just let her weep.
Kaleb could hear Carl and Rick walking around the house underneath them, but he held Akisho tightly for minutes until she got a hold of herself.
Slowly she pulled herself to her feet and stumbled closer to her father, staring at his dried, decomposing face.
"He's only been dead for a few weeks" she said softly, wiping her tears from her cheeks. She turned to look at the open window and smiled. "He even left the window open so he wouldn't smell up the place. How considerate dad", she said with a strained chuckle.
She reached out and touched the arm of the teddy bear he was still clutching in his hand.
"I'm sorry" she said, bursting in to tears again. "I'm sorry you died all alone, but I'm here now, and I love you. I'm so sorry."
Rick walked into the room. He stood by the doorway, clasping his hands in front of him and waiting as Akisho grieved. After a few minutes he said "I'm sorry for your loss Akisho. We're checking all the homes for survivors, but we haven't found any. Everyone else, we're putting in the fire. Let us know when we can take him. Take your time."
Akisho gave Rick a small nod.
"Also, there were some diary entries left downstairs. Your dad wrote them. He documented everything that happened in the last few days of Alexandria. He wrote it for you. When you're ready, it's waiting for you on the kitchen counter."
Akisho wiped her cheeks and turned to Rick. "He wrote it for me?" she asked.
"I think he knew you'd come back. I think he wanted to say goodbye" Rick said.
She sniffled again and turned back to her father. "Okay" she said.
***can08writer***
Every house had been searched. Some were completely empty, others had the remains of dead families inside. The group dragged all the bodies out of the houses and burned them in the middle of town. They then had a moment of silence for the town that the Grimes family had called home for so long.
Carl stood silently before the burning fire, his arm wrapped around Collin. He hadn't wanted his son to see the death and decay that was everywhere in the town, but he couldn't prevent it. When Collin had seen them stacking up the bodies near the town's center, his face turned red and tears pooled in his eyes, and Carl knew he was trying his hardest to hold back his emotions. Carl had picked him up and held him, and the boy had burst into tears. Now, as the two of them stood watching the flames, Carl addressed his son.
"It's okay to cry" Carl told him, "it's okay to be sad when people you know die."
"But you, and Grandpa, and Kaleb aren't crying" Collin sniffled, leaning against his father.
"I know" Carl said, rubbing Collin's back. "We're sad, and sometimes we cry when we're sad, sometimes we don't. But if you want to cry that's okay. You lost your friends and your neighbors, and people you cared about."
"Did you cry when mom died?" Collin asked, looking up at Carl. Carl looked down at his son and couldn't help recognizing how much Collin looked like Enid.
"I did" Carl said, "I cried a lot. For days."
"Even though I was there?" Collin asked.
"Well, I was so happy you were there, and I was so grateful that you were okay. But I was so sad that I lost your mom. I missed her so much. I still do."
Collin stared at the bonfire thoughtfully, and a silence settled between them for a few minutes.
"Can we go visit her before we leave?" Collin asked.
Carl gave Collin a smile. "Sure we can."
***can08writer***
After all the bodies were burned, Akisho returned to her home by herself and picked up the diary entries her father had left behind. She sat in her father's favorite chair in the living room and smiled when her body completely sunk into it. He had definitely worn out the chair through usage, but the imprint of his body pressed into the chair was something precious now.
As she read about her father's last days in Alexandria she was transported back there with him. He wrote about the shame of having to tell everyone that there was no more water left in the reservoir and their only hope was that it rained in the next day or so or they wouldn't make it. He told about how once they completely ran out of water everything fell apart quickly. No one was on watch, everyone was suffering, and the town was in chaos. He wrote about the mass hysteria, people packing up their families and heading out the gates with no plans, and no water. And finally, the people who went home, enjoyed their last day on Earth, and shot their families and themselves. He spoke of the ring of gunshots in the middle of the night, and the silence that followed, everyone who was still alive pretending that they didn't hear it.
He described to her how every morning he would knock on each door of the homes that he knew people were living in the night before, to keep track of who was alive. Sometimes he'd hear a voice, or someone would open the door and then slam it in his face. Other times there would be silence, or a walker would come, scratching at the door from the inside. Finally, Akisho got to her father's final entry.
My dear Akisho,
I'm writing this last entry for you. I know you will come back here and find this. I know because I'm sure you made it. The same resolve that runs in my blood, that kept me alive until now, runs in yours too.
It has been three days since I've had my last mouthful of water. Today it took everything I had to get out of bed and knock on the doors around town, but this time no one answered. There's no one left. I'm finally alone.
It was horrible watching the suicides and killings in the streets. Sometimes I would hide in the house when people would knock on the door asking me what they should do.
I've come to realize I've killed everyone I know. Through my stubbornness, my pride. I should've listened to Rick when he warned us what would happen, I know that now. But who does this realization help? Certainly not me. Certainly not the people who depended on me.
I'm so sorry Aki. But the only thing I don't regret is you. I know you're alive somewhere, probably with Rick and his family, and I want you to know I'm so proud of you. You disobeyed me and you got away from here. I am so sorry for trying to stop you from reaching your full potential. I was thinking in the ways of the old world. That parents know best and children should listen. I never told you this, but I've always admired your strength Akisho. You've always been so much stronger than me.
I love you. And I'm sorry that I couldn't be the father you deserve. I'm sorry about what I'm about to do, but it's the only way I can regain some of the honor I have left. You are and always will be the best thing I've ever done.
I love you,
Papa
Akisho pulled her feet up in her father's chair, rested her chin on her knees, and clutched his letter to her. He had never been so open with her before, and she had never been so heartbroken. Hearing what he had gone through in his final days was terrible, but she felt a closure that she would've never known had she not come back.
***can08writer***
That night they all slept in Rick and Michonne's house. Someone was always on watch to keep an eye on things, but they had closed the gates and checked the houses. There were no walkers or people around.
Once everyone was settled in, Rick went upstairs to the bedroom he'd shared with Michonne. Although it was dusty, and somewhat stuffy, he smiled at all the great memories he had of this place. Their home. As much as he'd miss it, he realized that this place was just a wooden structure that would eventually fall apart like the world around it. The place where his future lay was with the living people in his life.
He looked around at all the little items that they'd left behind, things they just didn't have space to pack, or things they'd planned to come back for eventually.
Rick walked around the room, grabbing extra clothes for himself and Michonne. He also took treasured pictures of the family, Carl and Judith sitting on the porch in front of the house, he and Michonne holding Kaleb only hours old, and the entire extended family celebrating Rick and Michonne's 10 year anniversary.
He noticed the cat sculpture he'd grabbed for Michonne in the junkyard after the two of them made a deal with Jadis to fight alongside them. It certainly wasn't a necessary object, but he knew it was sentimental for Michonne, and for him too. He placed the cat in a duffel bag, surrounded by the clothing to keep it safe.
When he came back downstairs, Kaleb and Akisho were curled up together in their respective sleeping bags, fast asleep. Rick took a moment to gaze at his youngest son while he slept. Kaleb had been born in this house, he had taken his first steps here, spoken his first words, made his first friends. And Kaleb didn't hesitate to give that all up to go back to Washington Caverns.
Michonne was right when she said there was nothing left for them here. There was nothing here but death and memories.
***can08writer***
Early the next morning they decided to head back to Washington Caverns for good. They gathered anything helpful from the houses, but there wasn't much in terms of food or supplies to take. While everyone else packed what they did find on the wagons, Carl led Collin to the graveyard to visit Enid.
The two of them stood in front of her grave marker in silence. Carl let Collin decide what to do next, seeing as though he'd asked to come see his mother. Collin stood in front of the grave and looked down at his shoe, slowly kicking the dirt with his toe.
After a few minutes of silence, Carl said to Collin "did you want to say something to her?"
Collin blinked a few times and then nodded.
"Go ahead" Carl prodded. He had taken Collin to visit Enid a few times before when Collin was much younger, but after a while he realized he didn't want to keep reminding his son of his mother's death. Carl continued to come to Enid's grave from time to time, but usually without Collin.
"Um… hi mom" Collin began. "Um…" he paused, at a loss for words.
Carl could see Collin was nervous. He had never spoken to Enid before, and it was clear he didn't know what to say.
"Just tell her what's going on. What we're doing. It's okay."
"Uh… we're leaving. We're moving somewhere else. It's nice there. I like it there. Um… there's water, and food, and lots of people. And they're nice. And guess what? Granny's son is there too! And even Tabby and Selena like it there."
Collin sighed and crossed his arms.
"But don't worry. I won't leave you here by yourself forever. I'll come back to visit you when I'm big enough to come by myself. I won't forget about you mom, I promise."
Carl pressed his lips together in an attempt to hold back tears. Collin looked up at Carl, startled to see a tear rolling down his father's face.
"It's okay to cry when you're sad dad" Collin told him, grabbing his hand.
Carl took in a breath and squeezed his son's hand. "I'm not sad, Collin. I'm proud of you. I'm really, really proud of you."
Collin nodded and patted Carl's hand. He then began to pull Carl away from the grave. "C'mon dad, we gotta go now."
Once their supplies were packed up and everyone was waiting outside, Rick slid the gates of Alexandria closed. He scribbled a note on a piece of fabric he'd found in one of the houses.
There are survivors. We're at Washington Caverns off exit 29. There's nothing left inside to use.
Rick jammed the note in a chink in the fence, just underneath Alexandria's welcome sign. If anyone from Alexandria or even Hilltop or the Kingdom came looking, at least they'd know there were some people left from Alexandria.
"Let's go home" Rick said to Carl, Collin, Kaleb, and Akisho, turning his horse away from Alexandria for the last time.
The caravan silently moved away from the abandoned town with heavy hearts. Although Akisho didn't find what she'd hoped for, she finally got the closure that she'd needed. Carl felt satisfied that he and Collin had gotten a chance to say a final goodbye to Enid. And although leaving Alexandria for good weighed heavily on Rick, he knew that he had a whole new life waiting for him at Washington Caverns. That was where his home was now. That was where his future was.