Hey! I decided to update this chapter a little sooner than usual because I felt little excitement about the previous chapter. I hope you all like this one. :)

The more time it passed, the more Monica regretted not telling Chandler her true feelings that day when they kissed. She knew she had developed a sudden crush on him that night a month ago, but she had hoped it was just a temporary and light crush. She had spent days and nights wishing to taste his lips and dreaming about him, and since she got what she dreamed for, she could not get enough. Thoughts of him laying on her bed next to her caused her trouble to fall asleep at night and the scarce sleep she managed to get was filled with dreams of his smile.

That same smile that he was now giving to the blonde girl seated next to him on the orange sofa of Central Perk. His arms were draped over her, resting on her shoulders, while one of her hands rested at his thigh and the other one hold a yellow cup of coffee. Anger shot through Monica's body. She hated that girl, seating so close to him with a honey-glazed look on her eyes.

The couple inched closer and shared a quick kiss. Monica had to squeeze her fists together to control the emotions that threatened to burst out of her body. She didn't want a pretty blonde girl kissing him. She wanted to be her on that spot, being held close by him and sharing those sweet kisses.

"Mon, you heard what I just asked?" – Rachel interrupted her thoughts

"No, sorry, could you please say it again?" – She asked, trying to keep her voice cool and her eyes away from the couple.

Rachel repeated her question and Monica answered, trying to keep her focus on the conversation that played between the group and not on the thoughts that she couldn't get off her mind. As she expected, it was a difficult task.

A few days later, they were all again at her apartment, watching a movie. Including his girlfriend. She knew she had to try to act as normally as possible around her but each day that passed it was harder to do it. Monica was getting tired. Tired of pretending that their display of affection didn't bother her; tired of having to welcome at her house the person she least wanted to; tired of faking she was okay so no one would suspect a thing. And yet, every time they were together she couldn't help but stare as if the torture of watching them would glue together the pieces of her broken heart.

Her eyes kept fixed on the couple, who was watching the movie together, cuddling under a blanket on the sofa. Her heart skipped a beat, as she remembered that had been exactly how they had been that night cuddled in his barcalounger. They hadn't been so physically close since that day and she missed his touches more than anything. Hell, they had only kissed once and she missed his lips the moment they left hers.

Her eyes started to feel watery, as her heart broke a little more at the sight, and she knew if she didn't leave the room she would let fall the tears she was holding in. She sat up from her spot and went to the kitchen, pretending to busy herself with something in the cabinets, so she would stay away from them. She felt his gaze follow her as she moved across the apartment but she did not dare to meet his eyes. Because she knew she would not find the feelings she wished in them and that would break her completely.

However, when she did look behind her, she felt Rachel's head moving fast, to hide she had been observing her. She sighed, knowing she would need to think of a good excuse to give her roommate. Telling her the truth was not an option because, if she did, the feelings she was trying to deny would become true. It wasn't just a crush anymore. She was falling for him. Hard and fast.

As soon as everybody left the apartment, Rachel closed the door and put the lock chain. But before Monica had time to escape to her bedroom, her roommate shot her a look that meant she was going to make her talk one way or another.

"Okay, so what's going on with you two?" – Rachel asked in a firm tone and Monica knew she wasn't going to escape the conversation

"What? What's going on with whom?" – Monica tried to pretend she didn't know what her roommate was talking about

"You know what I am talking about, Mon." – Rachel stated as if reading her mind – "I really believed your lack of sleep was because of the stress from the restaurant, but since she's been around you seem to be getting worst."

Monica closed her eyes, thinking about what she would say. Rachel had noticed that she was more tired than usual and she had used the stress from a big event at the restaurant as an excuse for her lack of sleep. But for her apparently noticeable behaviour towards Chandler's new girlfriend? She had no excuse.

"No, I don't. What makes you think that? I am just tired, okay? Maybe I am a bit different, but it's just the tiredness. Now can I go to sleep?" – She tried to end the conversation knowing at the same time that Rachel wasn't buying her act.

"I see the way you look at them whenever she's around. You're soo jealous. Why is that?" – Rachel asked with a knowing smile that told Monica she already knew the answer.

Monica then realized that she had no other choice but to confess her feelings, not only to Rachel but also to herself. She sat on the sofa, facing the other girl, as she started to tell the thoughts that had been trapped in her mind for a month.

"It started a month ago..."

Rachel sat at the chair, listening to every word Monica said. The more she told, the more shocked her expression became and more sympathetic the look in her eyes.

"… and it's so hard, Rachel, seeing them together like that, knowing that I had my chance and blew it just because I didn't know what I really wanted back then." – Monica finished, her face covered in tears that carried all her pent up emotions.

"Shh… It's okay, Mon, you will figure this out." – Rachel comforted her, running her hands through her hair and arms, just like Chandler had done a few weeks ago.

"No, it's not! They are happy and serious… I can't watch him fall in love with her, settle with her." – She sobbed into Rachel's arms.

"I wish I hadn't fallen in love with him" – She admitted aloud for the first time. And only after hearing the sentence that came out of her mouth, Monica did understand the real meaning behind her feelings.

It was official now. There was no way back to deny her feelings. She was in love with her best friend, Chandler Bing.