Title: What Counts in the End
Author: Flowerlady
Timeframe: Legacy Era
Characters: Ben/Jysella, Jacen, Kol Skywalker
Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst
Summary: While facing death, Ben Skywalker's remembers his life and what he will leave behind.
Disclaimer: I own nothing…
Author's Notes: First, big speculation here… But here are some facts just so we are all on the same sheet of flimsy…
I tried to make this as close to canon as we know it; however I cannot figure out how anyone gets 5 generations between Ben and Kol. At most I can only get 3 and that's assuming no one waits longer than mid twenties before having a child. And here they are…Ben and Jysella, have a son, Jak. Jak has a son Bolton who is Kol's father. Of course, Jak and Bolton are OC's, since these characters are not known. Ben is 85 years old in this and Kol is 20. I will admit that I haven't read any of the Legacy comics but I love the speculation, so if I seem to get something not quite right just consider it AU.

Second, this was written for the Over 30 SW Writers Club Challenge from the TF . net boards.
The challenge:
Write a story about a SW character, reflecting back on their life experiences that have made them who they are today. Choose a character who perhaps wouldn't be your first choice. Stretch yourself. Delve into their most inner thoughts, fears, desires, goals, etc. Make it sad or happy or funny or all...that's your choice too. Most of all...have fun with this as a writer.

Thirdly, the story will be posted an at least two parts maybe three.

What Counts in the End

Part I

Coruscant Temple, 111 ABY

Ben Skywalker was dieing. The Jedi were extremely saddened by the thought of losing their Grand Master, but they knew that they had fine leadership in Ben's grandson Bolton. And if they trusted the sensations in the Force, they'd need it. Many Jedi were remembering the great Master who would leave a tremendous legacy.

Ben scoffed at that as he lay on his simple bed. He coughed again and after regaining his breath he closed his eyes and thought about what his legacy would be. He was born of legacy, the son to one of the greatest Jedi who had ever lived and the grandson of the Jedi's Chosen One. But that wasn't what his legacy was; it had to be more than just being the son of someone.

He had once explained to his great-grandson Kol, when he was only a boy, what a legacy was. At the time he had told the ten year old, "A legacy is what we all leave behind. It is the story of our lives and how we want to be remembered when we are gone. It is how we affect the future and is what really counts in the end."

Ben thought about that and let his mind drift back over his life. He had lived a full life, although it was not always happy. There was times when it was down right tragic.

At age thirteen he began a journey that he didn't even realize until it was nearly too late. He was following his mentor, his Master, his beloved cousin down a road of destruction. He had done things that even today Ben didn't like to remember. It wasn't until he met up with a woman from his childhood that he began to see the error of his ways. It was ironic now that he thought of it, how at age eighteen he was turned by the love of a woman from the Dark path he was being led down. While Ben's own grandfather and his Master were seduced to the Dark Side because of love, Ben was saved by it.

It was during the last months of the Insurrection. The war Jacen had called the war to end all war. The war to fix what was broken to ensure that there would never be another. The Insurgents consisted of Corellia and its many allies which included the rising power of the Imperial Remnant under brilliant new Grand Admiral Jagged Fel. The Alliance was headed by Jacen's puppet Cha Niathal as Chief of State, while Jacen was her Supreme Commander, and the Jedi were torn. The Order believed in the Alliance and fought for the Alliance but the Order didn't believe in Jacen. Jacen had actually been loosely supported by the Council until he accused his own parents of treason and went after them. He then announced that he had embraced the Sith and had become a Master. This outraged many Jedi including Jaina. She along with several other Jedi, including Kyp Durron, Zekk, and Kyle Katarn defected to the Corellian cause, proclaiming the Jedi Order no longer protected the innocent and no longer lived up to the Code. To her Jacen was as dead as her parents and the Jedi Council as much a Sith puppet as the new Chief of State. Ben's father Luke was determined to prevent Jacen from gaining any more control, but was unwilling to sever his duty to the Alliance.

Ben remembered the end days with sadness; however, now he knew that the end of the war had truly been a beginning for him:

Ben was also torn; he had known that not everything he had done was forthright. He knew he was becoming Dark and he knew Jacen was already there. It was during one of the final battles that Ben first saw her again since they had been children. They found themselves side by side fighting Imperial soldiers who were attacking Mon Calamari. It even seemed odd to him at times that the new proclaimed Sith Lord and the Jedi would be fighting on the same side in a war, but here they were.

They defeated the last of the white clad troops and secured the governmental building. They were assessing the scene when she turned to him and said dryly with a raised brow, "So, war really does make for strange bedfellows, don't you think, Captain Skywalker?"

He stared at her, how she could find humor in so much conflict was beyond him. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked and took in the scene around them. Bodies were laying everywhere. Both sides had accrued great losses but the Alliance came out the victor. She was busy with the helmet of one of the Imperial soldiers, an officer.

She removed the helmet and then looked up at Ben, but no humor was found on the dirt streaked face or in the stunning green eyes. "I mean, look at us. You have all but become Sith. A Sith Lord is the Supreme Commander. The Sith have always been the sworn enemy of the Jedi and yet here we are fighting on the same side in a war that no one remembers why it was began."

Ben was somewhat taken aback by her words and the gentle way she wiped at the colonel's face then he remembered, Jysella Horn had first been apprenticed to Cilghal to be a healer. That was until it was determined Jedi commanders were needed more than healers. "I'm Jedi Knight Jysella Horn. I want to help you."

The man, who looked to be in his late twenties with dark short blond hair and blue eyes, coughed and after drinking some of the water from the canteen Jysella held to his lips, said, "I'm Colonel Cem Fel."

She asked incredulously, "The Grand Admiral's brother?"

He nodded and coughed again, "Yes."

Ben knelt down beside Jysella and said emotionlessly, he had seen too much death and destruction to be moved by it any more, "We need to keep him alive. He'll make for a very nice bargaining chip."

Jysella snapped her head around to glare at Ben, "Is that all you see, Skywalker? Is this just a grand game of dejarik to you?" She gently laid Cem's head down and stood, Ben followed. "You should know better. This war has been fought for nearly five years. Entire families have been ripped apart because of it. I'm Corellian, Ben. I've killed people I knew as a kid growing up on Corellia. I'm fighting my best friend's family. I've nearly killed my best friend, Myri Antilles and her sister more times than I want to count." Ben was shocked at her calmness. Her words spoke volumes of her feelings but she never raised her voice. Jysella was most dangerous when she was calm.

Ben inhaled deeply; he was finding her infuriating to say the least. Finally, after she moved on to another soldier, an Alliance trooper this time, he let the breath out and said very quietly, "I do know better but I know what is important. And sometimes what we want and what is important are two entirely different things. I watched my Master kill the only woman he ever loved because she was a traitor. I watched as he chased down his own parents, my only aunt and uncle, because they were traitors." She turned back to him and Ben thought he saw disgust and horror engraved there possibly because of his matter-of-fact tone. "I fought with my parents over this. And my cousin Jaina is fighting beside Jagged Fel for the Empire." He stepped closer to her and finished by saying, "Yes, I know the types of sacrifice that has been made. I know the cost of peace."

Looking at the soldier once more she closed the young girl's eyes with her hand and said in a Force filled command, "Sleep." Then she added, resigned, "There's nothing more I can do for you." She wiped her hands on her jumpsuit and stood, gazing at him she said in a tone that said she had enough, "But that's just it, we aren't at peace. Are we?" She pointed to the trooper, "Look at her, Ben. Tell me what you see."

He looked at the pretty young girl and said, "I see a loyal soldier who died with honor serving the Galactic Alliance."

She shook her head, stepped as close to him as she could and stared him in the eye. Her green eyes flashed almost dangerously, but in a voice not much more than a whisper she said, "I see a girl who is not more than eighteen who will never know love, who will never know what being a mother is like, who will never grow old surrounded by her grandchildren. I see a senseless loss that needs to stop." She then pushed past him to attend to others who were still alive or helping ease the pain by using the Force like she had on the girl. Ben watched her as she commanded the troops who were milling around. Jysella Horn the Jedi Commander became Jedi Healer almost within a heartbeat.

Jysella's words still chilled him to the core as he remembered them. But that was not all, she had truly irritated him in a way no one ever did. She had a way of getting under his skin and touching nerves he no longer knew that he possessed. However, despite her uncanny way of making him think about what really was going on over the next several weeks on Mon Cal, Ben realized he was oddly attracted to her and truly admired her for her spunk. She never was one for the finer things that went with being female and during a war there was no time for such feminine niceties anyway. He recalled her messy long black braid and her often dirt streaked face with a smile, because even then, even as she was driving him crazy with her compassion for the enemy and her deadly calm retorts, he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever met.

The war dragged on for several more months. Jacen tried to put more pressure on Luke Skywalker and the Jedi Council to continue fighting as more and more systems pledged support to the Empire. However, the Council decided it was time to do something. Luke made the decision to confront the Sith Lord that had once been his nephew, who had once been his Apprentice. The Jedi determined that the Insurrectionists weren't the real threat to the Alliance, it was the Sith who was in control of the Alliance. It was time to get rid of the Sith who had been tolerated far too long, either by redeeming him or by killing him. Luke and Mara set out to do just that.

Ben couldn't recall much of those final days except that he and Jysella were deployed on the Outer Rim to Jabiim. They had learned to tolerate each other and although, she still touched on every sensitive nerve he had, Ben knew he was falling for her even if he didn't seem to like her much. He knew it was dangerous, he needed to stay sharp and she was truly a distraction in more than one way that he really didn't need. She had a way of getting him to think about what was actually going on and he didn't like it.

However, it wasn't until it hit home that Ben finally realized what truly was at stake. Ben would never forget the moment he felt his father's death and his mother being injured. What had really surprised Ben wasn't that he felt it but that he cared so much. Jacen had killed the Grand Master and critically wounded Mara. Then he proclaimed the Jedi solely under his control and any who didn't bow to him were considered enemies of the Alliance. Of course, the entire Order rebelled. Ben and Jysella found themselves on opposing sides for real and when she refused to comply with the order given by Jacen, Ben had no choice but to arrest her.

"So is this really what you want to do?" She glared at him in that way that forced him to really look at himself. He had never known anyone who could do that before her.

"Jys, it's what I have to do. Jacen is my Master," even to his own ears he heard the silent plea. He wished that he didn't have to do it.

She paused a moment before saying in that all too quiet way, "Then you really are lost. And we are fighting for nothing because there will never be peace as long as the Sith are in control."

Ben retorted as much because he was afraid she was right as in that he didn't believe her, "The Sith is just another form of using the Unifying Force. Jacen doesn't do what he does for ambition, he does it for the good of the Galaxy. He does it to have a peaceful future."

"Are you really certain of that? Do you really believe Jacen is doing this because he doesn't what power? Ben, haven't you learned anything about history? The Sith have never done anything for the good of the galaxy, they only want power." She looked away for a moment and he thought she was finished but then she turned and looked at him with such an intense look it really gave him pause. "Sure, Jacen may have began his decent believing that what he was doing was to ensure peace, but somewhere the Darkness that filled him made him power hungry. He likes it and he won't give it up. In that way there never will be peace."

Ben froze; her words seemed to hit him as if she had punched him. He gazed at her and finally after a moment he whispered, "Do you really believe that? Is this war really for nothing? Did my Dad die for nothing?"

Jysella swallowed, "If you do this, Ben, if you go back to Jacen, then yes, your father died for nothing."

Ben stared at her in profound confusion. He didn't want to turn her in. He was falling in love with her. Was she right; was Jacen as power hungry as their grandfather had been, as Palpatine had been? Was his life to be filled with painful decisions? According to Jacen it was—sacrifices for the greater good. However, was turning Jysella in really for the greater good, was his father's death really for the greater good, was his aunt and uncle's deaths really for the greater good? Ben was sick of hearing that, how could any of this be for the greater good—for peace? More and more systems were joining the Empire because they didn't want to be subjected to Jacen's form of peace keeping. To Ben it seemed that the more force was used against governments, against people, the more they dissent. Maybe Jaina was right, the Alliance had become the empire and the Empire the alliance, the rebels. The Jedi were as divided as anyone over Jacen and his version of being Sith. But foremost in Ben's mind was the question: Why did he have to give up everything to ensure the greater good? He wanted happiness, he wanted love, he wanted Jysella and if that was selfish then so be it.

He slowly shook his head and lowered his saber with a trembling hand. He moved closer to her and she defiantly glared back at him. Closer and closer he came to her until he could feel her warm rapid breaths on his lips as she looked up at him. His heart raced and he really had no idea what he was doing, but in that moment he let his instincts take over, he let his desire take over and he captured her lips in a kiss that seared him to his soul.

She responded at first giving as much as she got until she realized what she was doing, or rather who she had been doing it to. She broke the kiss and then proceeded to slap him as hard as she could across the face.

Ben chuckled despite the emotional pain the memory brought to him. She definitely had a way of knocking sense into him. He didn't turn her over to his Master; in fact, he decided Jacen was no longer going to control him. He and Jysella left Jabiim and went back to Coruscant where Ben planned on confronting the Sith Lord.

Jysella tried to convince him to appear before the Jedi Council to plead support, or at least let her accompany him, but he refused, saying it had to be this way. He had to face Jacen alone.

He would never forget the look in her eyes as he prepared to leave the Jedi landing strip to go to the Central Command Headquarters.

He stopped and met her intense watery green gaze before turning to the speeder that would take him to Jacen. For a moment Jysella let her shields down, not much but enough for him to peer into her soul, her heart. He was stunned at the emotion he found there.

She swallowed and stepped up to him and reached up to lay her hand on his stubbly cheek. Ben would never forget her words as she whispered, "Come back to me, okay?" Then she leaned up and kissed him. It was a kiss so full of love and hope that it had felt like a cool rain on a parched Tatooine day.

Ben forced a slight smile after they broke the kiss, "What no slap?"

She smiled back and he was shocked to see the tears she was fighting, "Come back and we'll talk about it."

Ben swallowed and grinned as he stroked her cheek, "Is that a promise?"

She nodded, "It is."

"Then I'll be back."

Neither of them had to say what it was that they would talk about. They both knew the instant she had let down her shields.
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