"Oh, look, an odd Sunday again, quickly let's publish the next chapter!"
This is the last chapter of this arch. I already have a plan for the next set of chapters, but I am not feeling very well at the moment, which on the other hand mean that I probably get a sick leave so I may have much more time to write over the coming week or two. There is a specific reason why I would want to get the next release on time, so there will come hell or high-water be at least a part of the next chapter released on the Sunday 31st of October, as to why I only offer one hint "New Akihabara".
As ever none of this would be possible without Cheerful Clatter who is to be credited with things like the Story being actually legible, the author not being committed to a mental hospital up to this point, suggesting the scene breaks in this chapter and hundreds of small improvements that in the view of the Author make the Strange duet the best-damned story I have ever written, and hopefully one that will remain worthy of the AMAZING reception it has so far received.
Plus, thanks to her I am now able to consult with someone who can make this story pseudoscience just that much better, which will become quite important in the next set of chapters.
I have ventured to start and bringing the side characters properly in the story from now on, so any CC or just thoughts onto their appearances and whether I manage to keep them from becoming too OOC are extremely welcome. Speaking of the CC, thank you to those who mentioned that the last chapter somehow got published without proper, or any scene breaks. Please let me know if the fix I implemented works for you and if yes it will be made the standard. Also Speaking of reviews, Marduk Report, you do owe me that message you talked about, I am very much looking forward to reading what you think about the story.
Please remember that this chapter again deals with Asuka's past. I am working hard to deliver those passages in as tasteful a manner as I can but it is still Asuka's past. That scene was the most taxing bit of writing I remember penning. At the risk of sounding like a broken record please remember the episode 26 title, alright folks?
That is all that I have to say, so without further ramblings here it is:
Suite No.4,03 Secrets Best Shared
"Shiji, let's go shoot some ball!"
Shinji turned around to see Touji and Kensuke approaching. It was just after school, and he was about to walk home with Asuka and Rei. He still had not gotten entirely used to that. After all, it was only four days since Rei moved in.
He looked at Asuka and Rei. "You guys don't mind if I do?" He liked spending time with Touji. Suzuhara frowned: "You don't have to ask the Red Devil's permission for everything, Shin-man!"
Shinji was about to start protesting that he asked both girls when he saw that Asuka gave Touji her "And now you are a dead man" look. He mouthed "it's alright" to her and turned to Touji. "I was asking them both, Touji, we planned to go home and do that Geometry homework together, so if I am late their plans get affected," he explained and turned back.
Asuka calmed down a bit and even gave him an approving look, while Rei remained her impassive self. Asuka nodded. "It's Geometry, I can do that while asleep and I have Rei to help me with Kanji if I need. Go, but be back in time for dinner." Asuka threw Shinji a smile, which he returned.
She spent the week doing her best to thank Shinji for holding onto her throughout the two nights of terror. 'So if he wants to go throw a ball with the Ape, so bloody be it.' She even grabbed Shinji's bag and turned around, walking to the bus station. Then she heard it:
"Right, he can go, but has to be back in time to make dinner for your majesty! How fucking gracious of you, Red!"
Before anyone could even think to preempt the inevitable, Asuka was staring at Touji from less than a foot away, fist balled and almost visibly coiled to strike. "Idiot! I call Shinji that, but you would wear it better, I think. Did you ever think that Shinji may enjoy cooking? Or that he likes to cook for us? No, because you do not think, that's why you missed that I was Joking. Shinji got it, and maybe if you paid more attention to your supposed friend you could laugh too, and we could all be on our way!"
For a moment, everyone seemed to forget how to breathe. Then Asuka let out her breath and started turning away.
Touji had been right for the longest time: she had taken advantage of Shinji's kindness, and she still planned to, but she was going to give back as much as she could - and sure as hell was not taking that kind of shit talk from a moron who did the same to Hikari and hit Shinji for not saving the world quickly enough.
"Yeah, he enjoys it, nice fucking alibi there, Red! He may enjoy it, but you treat him as your personal punching bag..."
Asuka froze and half-turned, doing it slowly almost as if signaling to Touji that he should get a head start if he planned to run away. Kensuke and Shinji both went pale, and Shinji looked at Touji nervously.
"Touji, stop this - Asuka is NOT taking advantage of me!"
"Personal punching bag? You know, Suzuhara, that is a funny thing coming from an asshole who beat the daylight out of Shinji for not saving the world clean enough on his first try - with five, only five, minutes worth of experience, mind you." Asuka did not even sound angry, or frustrated, or emotional at all - eerily enough, Shinji thought, she actually sounded like… Rei.
Touji gave her a look. "That was before you even showed up, so it does not concern you. Plus we cleared things up, Shin-man hit me back!"
Asuka sneered. "I doubt Shinji hit you back hard enough!"
Touji went silent, almost thoughtful. Everybody seemed to calm down a bit. And it could have ended there, except Touji did the single worst thing possible: he smirked and said, "And you think you can hit me properly, Sohryu?"
Asuka's sneer widened: "Remember Over the Rainbow? That was me holding back, a lot. Do you want to find out what me striking for real feels like, Suzuhara?"
"Eager to, Red, but you know I don't buy that you would hit me only for Shinji's sake - you want to clock me for your own sake! So that doesn't count for real, get me?" he finished with a sneer of his own.
Asuka's arm twitched, but she stopped the punch before even Touji could react to it. 'He is not wrong, I wanted to hit him long before I learned he hit Shinji, and I probably will still want to after.' Part of it was that Touji was in a way like her: she liked fighting… no, she loved it.
"You know what? You are right, Suzuhara. It still does not sit well with me that you gave Shinji a week-long black eye and only walked away with a mild punch in the guts!" Asuka was surprised when Touji gave her an almost imperceptible nod.
"Also, you want to fight? We can, you just find us a dojo that allows full contact sparring, and prepare to lose!" They exchanged predatory smirks; on that matter, they had each other perfectly.
"Higher the pride, steeper the fall, Red!" said Touji and relaxed a bit. "I'll let you know the place, you let me know the time."
Asuka nodded and turned around, noticing Rei walking past her to Touji. She was surprised that Wundergirl chose to engage with someone other than Shinji or herself, but was too exhausted to think much of it.
She got to her Baka and turned just in time to see Rei put her left hand on Touji's shoulder.
"Classmate Suzuhara, would you say that I want to hit you for my own ends?" Asuka did not understand what was going on and shot a glance at Shinji, who merely shook his head.
Touji also shook his head and looked at Rei, astonished.
"Then may I strike you in Shinji's stead?" If Touji was amazed before, he was at a complete loss for words now: "Why would you do that, Ayanami?"
She smiled: "Because Shinji was good to me when no one else was." At that moment, Asuka was no longer sure she disliked Wundergirl at all.
Touji nodded: "Do your worst, then!" Rei gave him one look and then a vicious uppercut on the chin that nearly knocked Touji over.
"Oi, Ayanami, that was a proper punch!" said Touji, as he spat some blood on the ground and grinned. He turned to Asuka.
"Is that settled now, Red?" Asuka thought about it for a moment, then nodded.
"I'm still gonna beat you up, but yes, that is settled."
"Not quite… If I recall the rules of this social interaction correctly, Classmate Suzuhara is entitled to hit me now. I would prefer a weak punch, though," said Rei, a ghost of a smile playing on her face.
Touji grinned and immediately grimaced. "Scratch that classmate nonsense, it's Touji or Suzuhara, and no honorifics. Yer punched me good and for good reason, mean yer earned me respect!" said Touji, now managing a steady smile.
"Which is not something he gives out very often - for example, I do not feel very respected right now!" The students turned around and saw Horaki Hikari bearing down on them with single-minded purpose.
"Picking fights again? What did I tell you? This is really the last time I am willing to overlook it!" At the last sentence, the three boys remembered to breathe again.
"I did not start a fight," tried Touji, but Hikari shut him up with a glance.
"I struck Suzuhara first, Class Representative," said Rei, turning to Hikari. The Class Rep looked at her dubiously. "Rei, I find that hard to believe," she said finally and turned to Asuka.
"Alright, Asuka, please tell me what happened, and who needs a good head cuff," she said exasperated.
Asuka grinned. "The Jock-stooge is not lying, he called me on what he thought was my abuse of Shinji, and then…"
When she gave a concise tally of the whole incident, Hikari just shook her head."So you two decided that since I won't let you beat each other senseless in the class, you'd try to do that in a Dojo?" She gave a stern look to both Asuka and Touji and they nodded. Then she turned to Rei:
"And you decided that since you don't want to hit Suzuhara, you hitting him on Shinji's behalf fixes the problem? Please, Ayanami-san, tell me you are not going to pick any more fights, even if it looks like you were right, this once… though by what logic escapes me."
She straightened up. "Alright, you lot leave and if I hear about any more fights, none of you are getting any pastries from me until the end of semester, you get me?"
The five students left with a chorus of "We get you, Class Rep!"
-x-
The ball hit the hoop and fell through, rebounding from the ground. Shinji leapt after it and started dribbling. "Good, Shin-man, but you gotta hit it, keep it under control. Don't treat it like you can break it!"
Then a phone rang. Shinji passed the ball to Touji and picked his phone up. He had a glance at the display before hitting "Accept", but was surprised at the name he saw: 'Why would the Vice-Commander call me?'
"Good afternoon, Ikari, I was hoping that perhaps you could stop by my office. It is not work-related, so you do not have to if you do not want to or are too busy."
To say that Shinji was surprised would be the understatement of the month: he could not remember ever speaking more than a handful of words with the Vice-Commander. But if the Vice-Commander wanted to speak, then Shinji would go.
"Yes, Sir, I can be there in an hour," he answered after a moment of hesitation.
"That would be great. Say, Ikari… do you play Shogi?"
"Uh, yes, not very well, though," answered Shinji.
Professor Fuyutsuki laughed. "Well, there are some that would say that neither do I, but I still enjoy a game from time to time. We shall play a game then. I will see you in an hour, Ikari," he said and hung up.
"What's up, Shin-man?" asked Touji, passing him the ball. Shinji passed it back. "The Vice-Commander wants to see me for some reason. We should shoot more baskets some other time," he replied, passing the ball back.
"Sure, hope you ain't getting a pay cut, man," said Touji and shot another hoop. Shinji nodded and left.
On the way he called Asuka and told her about the change of plans.
"First hoops with the Jock-stooge, now Shogi with the Vice-Commander? You are moving up the world, Baka," she chuckled.
"Alright, I'll hold the fort for you, and make sure there is food and that Misato does not get to cook it, and you mention that I would graciously accept promotion when you are ingraining yourself to the Vice-Commander, deal, Baka?" said the redhead, still laughing.
"Deal, sorry for bailing out on you twice in an afternoon," he replied.
"Play the cello for us when you get back, and you are forgiven. Alright, now move it, the Vice-Commander does not strike me as the kind that likes to wait," replied Asuka and hung up.
-x-
"You are more than punctual, Ikari-San," said Fuyutsuki, glancing at the clock as Shinji made it into his office. It struck Shinji that he had never been to anyone's office but Misato's - and, once or twice, Doctor Akagi's. This one was nothing like either of those.
The Vice-Commander furnished his office with a few elegant pieces of furniture: the kind that, if you need to ask the price, you can not afford it. Also, Shinji noted that there was no desktop computer, just an elegant grey laptop, currently turned off and closed on the far end of the desk.
"Sorry, sir, what do you mean?" he asked. Professor Fuyutsuki smiled a thin amused smile: "You said you would be here in an hour and made it in less than forty minutes." He placed a Shogi board on the desk and started preparing the stones.
Shinji noticed a photo on the table, in which he recognised Fuyutsuki, even if it must have been at least ten or more years back. There was also a gaggle of university students… and next to the Vice-Commander, could it be…
"Sir, may I ask?" he started.
Fuyutsuki pointed to the photo and Shinji nodded. The Vice-Commander smiled again. "Tokodai bioengineering graduates of 1999, the last class I taught. I took a sabbatical after that, and then the second impact happened, which meant no more Tokodai."
Shinji nodded, falling silent as ever, when someone old enough to live through it mentioned the Second Impact.
"But I can guess you are not asking out of interest in my own history. Yes, that is in fact your mother next to me. She was my teaching assistant for that class. We had the only class of the whole Tokodai to not lose a student that year, and we were quite proud."
That made Shinji's jaw drop.
Even now, fifteen years after the old Tokyo vanished, saying that someone "might measure up for Tokodai" was still the height of academic praise.
"Ikari, I want to make one thing clear to you about that photo: I am very smart, top of my class, made professor at Tokodai before I was thirty-five, and I have been nominated for the Nobel Prize. So take it with that in mind when I say that your mother made me feel like a complete rank amateur in my own field of study, let alone hers. I believe the phrase people your age use these days is she 'took me to the school' - is that the correct slang? That nobody flunked from that class at all would not be possible without Yui Ikari."
"I never knew that," said Shinji, still in awe. "Why hasn't my uncle ever told me?"
"Yui was close to him; maybe the pain of loss is still too raw. We all deal with our grief in our own ways. In a way I count myself lucky that I am able to continue Yui's work. It did not make my grief go away, but it gave it purpose." Fuyutsuki finished setting the pieces, having apparently decided to play with a significant handicap.
They started the game and Shinji started gaining an advantage fairly early on.
"It would seem you underestimate yourself, Ikari. You are a capable player for a novice," said Fuyutsuki as he captured another piece in an attempt to stem Shinji's attack.
Shinji looked unsure. "I only played a few games with Rei, and she trounced me," said Shinji, surprised when Fuyutsuki laughed.
"Ikari, you should know that Rei Ayanami is a national-level Shogi player. The Commander taught her so he had someone to play with when I left for the USA for three months, and he has refused to play with her ever since then."
"Why is that?" Shinji asked suspiciously.
"Well… if - hypothetically, of course - I was inclined to provoke disrespect and if - again, hypothetically - you were inclined to hear such talks, I would say it was because she got too good for him to defeat her easily."
Shinji nodded: that sounded like Gendo Ikari alright - at least given what few interactions he had ever had with his father.
"He just can not accept defeat, can he?" asked Shinji before he could think about whether it was appropriate to do so or not.
Fuyutsuki nodded: "No he can not, and in his job that is most often a good thing: would you want a person that accepts losing easily in command of NERV? Yet I will admit that his ruthlessness occasionally troubles me."
Shinji felt unsure. He really wanted to believe what he was hearing: it was the first time an adult had ever said something remotely critical about the commander in his presence.
Still, he supposed, if anyone was in a position to speak this way, it was the elderly Professor Fuyutsuki. The professor was the only person who Gendo ever seemed to turn to for guidance on the very rare occasions when he did not seem to be in complete control.
Misato had been very specific in the way she was not saying anything positive about Gendo lately. Shinji understood that that was as far as her position allowed her to go, and he was profoundly grateful for that support. But he did not realise how much he needed to hear a rebuke of Gendo, however mild, from an adult until now.
He realised they went through three moves without either one speaking. He decided to meet the old man halfway. "Like with Rei when I showed up?"
Fuyutsuki nodded slowly: "Yes, like that. Ikari-san, we could, and perhaps should have, pressed NERV Germany to release Pilot Sohryu and Unit-02 earlier. That could have avoided the whole situation, but your father was adamant we needed a fully domestic success first."
The Vice-Commander captured another piece and thwarted Shinji's offense on that side of the board.
What he said made little sense to Shinji: surely his father would not refuse more resources for his mission if he could get them, right?
"Why would he not want Asuka?" he asked, waiting for an answer while he looked over the Shogi board. Then he realised the answer to his own question: "Fully domestic success at first… It was about timing, right, Professor?"
Fuyutsuki nodded, but said no more. Shinji tried to wrap his head around it: 'What difference would it make if Asuka arrived in the middle of war as opposed to her being present from the beginning?'
Then he thought about how eager Asuka was to match and overhaul his score and successes when she came to Tokyo-3. She had a big chip on her shoulder; could it be that Gendo might do that on purpose?
'Of course, the man wrote "come" after ten years of neglecting you… there is no telling what he might do to Rei and Asuka to achieve his goal, whatever it is.'
Shinji felt a whiff of dread with that realisation: not only him, but all the people he cared about, too, were at the mercy of Gendo Ikari and his power plays.
-x-
Asuka listened keenly as Shinji played Haydn on his cello… no, listening keenly did not come close to describing it. Asuka Sohryu was etching that concerto to her memory so if she was to live to one hundred and twelve, she would still vividly remember every tone of it.
She was also trying very hard to not think of just why it was so important that she remembered: that on any given day, this could be the last music piece her Shinji was ever going to play for her.
She did not realise until midway through the first suite that she had picked the very same sundress she wore on the day they first met.
They had a rare evening alone, as Misato was out on business in Tokyo-2 and Rei was running some overnight tests with Dr Akagi. Both teens tried very hard to not think about that and take heart at Rei's assurance that this was nothing but a harmless routine scan.
Asuka felt a stab of guilty conscience when she realised that she managed to do so, but only because she was so worried about herself. 'It's not like you to like her - you worry, because if she gets hurt, so does the Baka,' she tried. But she was not very convinced.
Then Asuka realised that the room had fallen silent. She gave Shinji a radiant smile and leaned in for a gentle kiss. Asuka drank some tea and straightened her dress, sweeping away some imaginary dust. She looked for Pen-Pen, wondering if she had given the penguin his dinner.
By now, Asuka knew she was stalling for time.
"Are you alright, Asuka? You look a bit 'zoned out' - did you have a bad day?" Shinji set the cello aside and looked at her with worry in his face. She shook her head and tried to smile.
'Congrats, you got him to worry again. Just one of the things you are best in the world at, Sohryu,' Asuka chastised herself silently.
She had to tell, she wanted to tell, and by Gott und der Teufel she would tell.
'You are great, Asuka Sohryu - if you set your mind to something, you get it done,' she thought.
"Shinji, do you remember me saying I am from the damaged goods section?" She saw him nodding and drawing a breath, so she shook her head. "Just listen to what I am saying, all of it, before you say - or worse - promise me anything, got me, Baka?"
He nodded again, and she drew her own breath. "Shinji, we have something, I don't want to lose it, but you deserve to know what kind of past I am carrying." She said the last sentence much in the way one would admit to having leprosy.
She once again shook her head when Shinji opened his mouth. She knew what she needed to say and he could not make it easier by talking.
But she felt a bit better about it when Shinji took ahold of her hand.
Asuka spent some time debating on how to put it, and what to start with.
She decided to start with the worst of it, and if after that she was not talking to an empty room, maybe they had a chance.
"Shinji, do you know what extended suicide means?" She was not at all surprised when he shook his head in the answer so she went on: "That's when you kill someone before killing yourself. Like when a partner kills the other one rather than to bear a break-up, or when a parent decides to kill their child before committing Selbmort, like my mother did."
If there was any warmth in Asuka's tone at the start of the sentence, it was definitely gone. Shinji might as well have been listening to the polar night.
Asuka realised that this was the first time in her life she said it aloud. 'If that is a victory, it is hollow as fuck,' she thought - and then jolted when Shinji squeezed her hand again.
"You see, my mother worked on Project EVA, that's how I got noticed," Asuka went on, grimly determined to get the story out. "She was a great scientist and a good mother, until she was no longer. You see, it all went downhill during a certain experiment. She got up just fine one morning: We had breakfast, I went to school, she went to Gehirn, I came back, she didn't - to give a short summary of it."
"Of course I had no idea of what was going on: I thought Mutter just stayed at work late like she did all the time, but when day turned into a week and no one still told me anything, I knew that something was wrong. You see, I had to put it all together myself, because of course, no one would say a thing to a stupid kid," Asuka sneered.
Shinji momentarily wondered whether some of the people who kept Asuka in darkness had later come down with a sudden case of death. He was ready to believe it and did not care much if they did.
"In the end, I learned about the hospitalisation from the bulletin sent to Gehirn employees. Do you know how it feels to get more information about what happened to your mother from her coworkers than from your dad?"
She was surprised when Shinji nodded resolutely. She had not expected an answer, but Asuka made a pause just in case Shinji wanted to go any further with it.
But he just mouthed "Later" and kept listening and looking at Asuka as if nothing else in the world mattered at all.
"So eventually I got to see her. She was catatonic at first. The doctors were optimistic, though: they said that she should get better. And for a while she did. She started to recognise humans again and speak. Except she would not recognise me. She would ask everyone, 'Where is Asuka?' even when I was standing right at her bedside. And then, a few weeks in, she would have the doll..."
Asuka realised she was crying again and was again a bit surprised, but she did not care much.
"That is why you hate them so much? Dolls, I mean?" asked Shinji as he pulled her closer. For a moment, Asuka wanted to stay away, because she was strong enough to tell this story without a fucking comfort hug, thank you very much! But then she realised she did not want to.
Asuka nodded to Shinji's question. "There is some weapon-grade irony in it - I mean, the doll might have just saved my life. Because if she hadn't picked it up instead of me..."
-x-
Rei hit the button in the elevator and smiled as she realised she was actually looking forward to going home. That was an altogether new feeling to her.
It had never made much difference to her, if she was staying at Geofront, or in her abode…
Pilot Sohryu - no, Asuka - had made her feelings about Rei calling her previous residence "home" exceptionally clear using vocabulary that Rei's German textbook definitely did not cover.
Rei slid Asuka's access card through the reader and stepped into the kitchen. It was still far too early for breakfast, but she had not eaten since lunch yesterday and she knew Shinji would have left some snacks in the fridge on principle.
Then she froze mid-motion. Rei was looking at Shinji and Asuka sprawled over the couch, fast asleep with Asuka clutching Shinji's shirt.
She wondered what, if anything, she was supposed to do. 'Not wake anyone up' was the first thing she could think of. She started scurrying off quietly to Asuka's room, which she guessed was also her room now.
Then Rei Ayanami smiled, for she got an idea. She darted into the bedroom and got back with Asuka's blanket, placing it over the sleeping duo.
She was still wearing her trademark "ghost of a smile" as she drifted to sleep on her futon a few minutes later...
