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Marooned

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PROLOGUE

pack pack pack

"I'm sorry" he murmured.

I can't quite hear though.

I wanted to know why he was apologizing. What has he done wrong?

I wanted to know—but I was too scared to listen.

"You know, for the mess I've done. I know I had been a pain in the ass this past few days..hehehe" He continued trying to make everything sound so casual.

I didn't know that I said something until I hear myself saying:

"Tss..Got used to it"

It was weird. I wanted to know what was wrong.

I wanted to—but my ears won't accept his words.

"Really..hehehehe..Gomen..Uhmmm.. Oh..yeah... I'm leaving pretty soon you know."

That's when I realized that everything's over.

My mouth has betrayed me once more.

Words won't come out of it.

"Well..won't you say anything then?.. "

I can see how anxious he was,

I can see how odd everything has turned out to be

But I couldn't do anything—I did nothing.

"Hey, don't make things hard for me young man."

I can see how desperate he was to put the words out of my mouth…

… and so I did.

"I'm not making things hard for you. I'm not even doing anything to you at all"

"...Yeah..you're right..Gomen ne.. uhmmm..it's pretty late, it's not safe for you to walk home alone..so--"

"I can manage. Ja ne"

"Kae--"

"I said I can manage. Go home now. Just..drop me a message when you get home.."

Don't act so damn concerned when you're actually not.


/I'm leaving pretty soon you know/

Fuck you Akira. Fuck you.

ring ring ring

"Moshi Moshi"

"Kaede?"

"Do'aho"

"Hehehe..Just making sure it was you."

Stop making things hard for me...don't act as if everything's okay now that you're leaving...

"Ja--"

"Matte-- You still there?"

"No...I'm gone"

"Stop it with your sarcasm Kaede.."

"You done speaking?"

"Why are you so in a hurry? You'd later miss my voice when I'm gone. Cease the moment Kaede"

"Tss.. Whatever"

"This is just so much like you Kaede. I'd miss that"

Don't start the farewells Akira.

"What do you expect?"

"Why are you so mad? Did I do something to upset you?"

Stop acting so innocent Sendoh Akira.

"Do you have anything more to say?"

"Kaede. Are you mad at me?"

"…"

"Kaede.."

"Ja."

click


11:45 p.m.

One hour and forty-five minutes had passed since that phone call. I can't believe I'm still thinking of him right now. He'd be leaving pretty soon. I must get used to the scene of him not around. I can live without him! Sooner or later I'd forget him. It really doesn't matter. I—

Shit. The phone's ringing. Could it be him?

ring ring ring

"You're still awake then.."

"Can't sleep"

I knew it was you.

"Me too."

I wonder why

"Oh."

"You still mad? Gomen"

"For what?"

"For making you feel bad—whatever the reason is."

Once again—my words have betrayed me.

"...I guess you're still pissed right now. Sorry for disturbing your sleep..Ja--"

He can't go. I should say something damnit!

"No. Stay"

"You sure?"

"...hai"

"Would you mind telling me what's bothering you?"

"Do..you really have to go?"

"...is that the reason why you're so bothered?"

"...will you answer it or do I have to put down the phone again?"

"Stop being so hot, Kaede. You see, I got this scholarship in America and it'd be a waste if I wouldn't be using it. I really did my best to get that scholarship. I mean, it's not like an everyday opportunity. It's in fact a once in a life time experience...so..."

"...I get it."

But I can't accept it.

"...Aki?"

"Hai?"

"If I'd ask you to stay...would you stay?"

Please say yes!

Damnit! He's not answering! Say yes Akira! Say Yes!

"Would you?"

"Kaede...it's not as if we're not gonna see each other anymore"

Fuck.

"So..that's your answer then.."

"No..that's not wha---"

No more Akira.

I don't want to listen—it would just hurt me more.

"I'm getting sleepy..Ja ne"

"Kae--"

click


I should stop being a jerk… but heck, I can't help it. I don't want him to leave with our relationship going like 'this' but--- I can't make things go back to how it used to be. I don't think I'd be able to look at his eyes without showing a slight tinge of longing. I'd just make things hard for him and hard for me as well.

Crap.

I have to call him. I feel guilty.

ring ring ring

Answer the phone damnit.

"Moshi moshi"

"…"

"Kaede, is that you"

Shit. How did he know?

"Uh.. hai. I can't---"

"sleep? Haha. That's so unusual for someone like you."

"…"

"Kaede, I really don't want to cut our conversation but I really have to go"

Why can't you at least spend your last moments with me.

"Hey, Kaede, don't tell me you're mad again…"

"…"

"Hey, I'm sorry, it's just that I really have to sleep, there's a practice game tomorrow and I don't want Coach Taoka to yell at me again. Haha. Uhhmm— I won't be staying long in Ryonan High so--- I really want to make my last days perfect"

"…"

"Kaede… please, stop giving me a cold shoulder."

"Don't see me after school."

"Hey, Kaede, are you mad?"

"No."

"Then would you tell me the reason why you don't want to see me after school?"

"I just don't --- want to see you anymore"

"HEY! That was a bit harsh. Hmp."

"…"

"Don't tell me you're serious"

"I am."

"Shit Kaede, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Whatever. Don't mind me. Just sleep. Ja."

"NO! I can't sleep---- now that you're acting like this"

"Fine. Then I'd sleep. Ja."

"Kaede. Stop acting like a child."

"Am not"

"Does this have something to do with my departure?"

"This has absolutely no relation to that."

"Then tell me, why?"

"I need to go. Ja."

"I'd kill myself if you put down the phone"

"Soothe yourself, 'ahou"

"Kaede.."

"You have to sleep now or else Coach Tao--"

"Don't repeat what I just said a while ago."

"…"

"So you're not gonna talk again?"

"…"

"Kaede--- please stop acting like that."

"…"

"Fine."

"What? Can I put down the phone now?"

"I'm not going to America anymore."

"Huh?"

"I know that you're acting like this because of that… I really don't want to leave like---"

"I said, this has absolutely nothing to do with your departure"

"Kaede---"

"Stop acting as if you know me, cause you absolutely DON'T"

"I really don't wanna argue with you right now."

"… just leave."

"Why?"

"Leave as soon as possible. No why's. No but's. Just leave. Bye—for good."

click


I immediately put down the phone and went to my desk. I opened the drawer pulled out a brown notebook and wrote down the heading:

DAY ONE.