Title: Marooned

Pairing: SenRu of course

Summary: Emotions? Rukawa Kaede was never acquainted to those fuzzy feelings—until…

Disclaimers: I do not own Slam Dunk

A/N: Man, it's been forever since I updated this fic. This story's quite a mess, so I had to edit the Prologue and try to put sense out of it and tried I say that again, tried to fix the conversation part to make it clearer. Do read it again and review to that chapter if you want. But please, oh please review on this one. College is killing me, and so is the weather. I know we're all busy, but let's still keep the SenRu lovin' alive.

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Marooned: Chapter One

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I sighed out of stress and closed my eyes. It's3:00 in the morning and I was still up, which is of course a not so normal thing to happen. Somehow, I feel regretful for mouthing harsh words to Akira, but being closer to him during his last days wouldn't do us any good; wouldn't do me any good.

With each day we spend playing one on ones, I fall deeper and deeper in to him. With every drop of sweat that falls off his face after our games, I learn to like him more. It was scaring me, and it still is. It has become more of an obsession—a fearful obsession. Thinking about what just happened a while ago, makes me look like a jerk for standing against his dreams. It was just a bad timing. Sooner or later, I would have to leave him too, it just so happened that the act of him leaving me behind didn't include my options.

Falling deeper to someone like him is scary. It freaks the hell out of me. I hate associating every damn thing to him. I hate making every move just to fit him in the conversation; just to hear his name; just to hear more stories about him. I hated it. I loathed it. I wanted to break free, but I couldn't. I was too hooked up.

But this event came…

And now that I have the opportunity to break free and run away from all these emotions…

I ended up spoiling it.

I let out another sigh and went towards my desk table. Now that I couldn't bring myself to sleep, what good will it bring me if I stay on top of my lifeless bed. I then opened my desk light and sat on the chair. Immediately, I was able to notice the picture beautifully framed on top of my desk. It was a picture of us.

True enough, I wasn't smiling in the picture, but the way he smiled so widely as he held the big fish he caught down the lake was enough to lift the atmosphere of the whole picture up. In an uncharacteristic manner, I smiled and held the frame. Noticing how freaky my actions are, I immediately placed it back to where I got it; then I took a glance of a brown notebook—it was my journal.

I never had the chance to write something on it until today came. Or I can say yesterday since its 3:00 in the morning which makes it another happy shalala day for all the moronic assholes in this world. Man do I hate this place.

I wanted to die. I needed to die. I have to die.

Luckily, I'm dying. No one's aware of my illness, not even Akira. Since my family is all in America, they're not aware of it as well. I wouldn't want any of them to go back and take care of me as I see pity in their eyes. I don't want to be a burden.

Perhaps Akira's scholarship is a blessing in disguise. May be the gods loved me after all and didn't want me to die feeling bad by seeing Akira's eyes mirrored with pity. I'm dying and Akira's leaving me. Isn't that great? That's the best ending in the all the love stories ever created in mankind.

/cough/cough/

I've always wanted to go back to America—but Coach Anzai didn't let me. I'm not blaming him though. I believe that what he said was true and due to that, I was able to know Akira better. Without Anzai-sensei I wouldn't get to know Akira as much as I do now. But that's the end of it.

Being the jerk that I am, he's practically upset about what I did last night. After admitting that it was his fault when it was in fact mine, then putting down the receiver while he was still on the line, I bet he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I bet he's tired now.

And so am I.

This feeling, this obsession—it's breaking me apart. The deeper I fall, the more I lose control. I love him so damn much, but I have to let go. I'm hurting him. I'm hurting myself. I've become a monster. A monster trapped by his heart.

Now that Akira's going to America, my dreamland, then maybe all this insanity would finally end.

Maybe… just maybe.

I then closed my eyes and allowed it to rest for a while. When I opened it, I read 5:00 in the digital clock. The sun is about to rise and I'm about to go to school. So much for my rest.

I'd just sleep in the rooftop later. No matter how much my doctor tried to remind me that the sun is not good for me, he can't stop me from going there; the same way he can't stop me from playing basketball. It's my favorite place, next to the basketball court of course, and obviously, basketball is my life. I would rather die doing what I love than to live without it.

So god, please help me to live without Akira.

T.B.C.

A/N: Will he die? Will he stay? Gotta read the next chapter to find out. But before that, you gotta review first.