AN
First my sincere apologies for taking so bloody long to write another chapter and for the fact that it may take longer than a fortnight for the next one to come online (it is in the work through). So for now I will promise that the next chapter will hit on an even Sunday, be it the next one or the one after that, from then on, normal service should be resumed
This chapter deals with the fallout of Suite 5,03 from the POV of the pilots (there is a companion piece to it in the Seques that explores Ritsuko's reaction). As ever credits for the editing and overall crucial support go to Cheerful Clatter.
With the important stuff being said, here it is, read, enjoy, and I would be much obliged for any constructive criticism that you may have.
Suite No.5,03 The Many Wins of Rei Ayanami
Game III - Differences
If Rei was playing against someone else, she would have gotten bored and walked away by now, Shinji lacked the devious skill of his father, who could come up with new untried moves on the fly.
He did not even have Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki's extensive command of known and tried plays to use and switch between.
He was a rank amateur, so she could easily predict and smash any of his feeble offensives without even properly focusing on the game.
She briefly contemplated whether she was playing out of gratitude while she took three stones and severely cut Shinji's options in this game.
'No, I like doing things with Shinji,' she thought as she systematically went about cutting down Shinji's options across the board. She thought she liked playing with Commander Ikari, but was not so sure about it now.
Rei certainly did not like defeating Commander Ikari, because when she did the first time, he just ordered her to reset the board and grunted "Congratulations" as if it cost him a great effort. He then went to give her her hardest defeat yet as if to prove a point.
Shinji, though… Shinji just smiled, praised her skill, and offered to get Rei more tea. She felt a sting of shame when she thought about how she tensed when putting down the final stone and announcing her victory.
'No, he is nothing like the Commander,' Rei smiled and started taking stock of how the two Ikaris differed when sat behind a Shogi board.
Shinji kept a lot of eye contact with her throughout the game, but the Commander would keep his gaze upon his pieces, giving no attention to her, or anything outside the game whatsoever.
Rei set the offence.
She then noticed another distinction: 'Shinji protects all his pieces as hard as he can, even to the detriment of his strategy.' Then she thought of several games when the Commander sacrificed almost all of his stones in a seemingly careless manner, just to drive a select few in to defeat her.
Rei reached for an oat cookie, contemplating her next move for a moment. 'Cookies… the Commander always made sure I was completely focused on the Game. Shinji is just as much focused that I feel at home.'
She smiled a half-smile and thought, 'Even when they ARE the same, they still ARE different!' They still both had the same half-smile, she noticed, as she made the last move of the game
"Tsumi, Shinji-Kun!" She announced the checkmate and started putting her pieces back in the default position. She felt a jolt of happiness when Shinji matched her smile and helped her with the pieces. Together, they managed in no time.
Rei looked at the board, content - and for once, she thought, even happy.
"Would you like another game, Shinji?" she asked. Rei tried to mask her disappointment when Shinji shook his head, but he must have noticed it, because he gave her a brilliant smile: "No, I want to practice on cello for a bit. But I want to play again some other time. You are amazing, Rei!"
Rei nodded in agreement: even if she could defeat Shinji with her eyes blindfolded and half her fingers broken, she wanted to play more games too…
As Shinji started tuning the cello, Asuka muttered from the sofa, "About time, the first useful thing you did today!" Rei looked at her fellow pilot in confusion: for one, she was grinning widely despite sounding irritated, and for two…
"Shinji dealt with the trash and made us food when we came home from school, is that not useful?" she asked, confused. She was even more confused when she looked at Shinji and realised he was still smiling, if only slightly.
"Alright, Wundergirl, first useful thing since an hour and a half ago! Now shut your mouth, Shinji is gonna play, and I will punish any unnecessary noise with suitable cruelty," said Asuka, fighting and losing to a major grin again.
'The Commander and Doctor Akagi are easy to understand: efficient, direct, cold. But the people of the Katsuragi household are complicated, messy, full of contradictions. Warm…' Rei realised she knew perfectly well which sat better with her.
She knew what "content" felt like, but she had a whole lot to learn about "happy". Yet, she decided, she had come to the right place for that.
Game XI - Diligence
Rei was looking at the board. She had not expected to play this many games with Shinji. Not only was he still playing after the tenth decisive defeat in a row, he appeared to still be having fun.
That made little sense to Rei. She even considered letting Shinji win or drive a draw, but decided against it. 'I will not be duplicitous to Shinji, even if it makes him happy,' she thought again.
She knew exactly how Shinji would react if she did.
And looking at the board, she realised that in a few weeks, she wouldn't have to try hard to lose… 'No, I may soon actually need to work to win,' she realised with a smile.
This game was, by some margin, the most even she had ever played with Shinji: it was some thirty moves in the making, and she still was not sure about her endgame. Shinji had improved noticeably.
She moved a stone to prop up one of her generals and looked at Shinji. "You are getting more difficult to beat easily", she said, as she got an oatmeal cookie from the plate sitting next to the board.
It took Shinji a second to decipher the meaning, and then he beamed Rei a smile. "Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki lent me a Shogi textbook. It is really useful," he pointed to a worn-out handbook sitting on the coffee table.
Rei got up, stifling a wince as she felt a jolt of pain and retrieved the book. It was ancient, probably one that the Vice-Commander himself used when he was learning the game. And over the years, the Professor had annotated it in neat Kanji in the margins.
She frowned when she realised that only a few of the notes were about the game itself. Many seemed to be concerned with taking the truths of the game and applying them to real-life situations.
Rei was certain there also were better Shogi textbooks by now - or at least more recently published ones. Sure, Shinji would be able to learn from this… However, this one was definitely lacking even compared to one Commander Ikari furnished her with when he required her to learn the game.
'Could it be that the Vice-Commander wants Shinji to read his notes more so than the textbook itself? This requires further consideration, but now I have to defeat Shinji,' thought Rei as she put her focus back on the game at hand. She was now seeing a nice enough endgame from the current position…
Game XII - Aftermatch
Rei came to do the dishes. It was only fair as Shinji cooked, and Asuka when needed, and with much ado about it, would go get whatever Shinji required to cook.
This time, however, Shinji flat-out refused to let her touch the dishes - especially the big pot used to cook the Trinidad Scorpion extra-spicy curry. He himself made sure to wear a face mask when cleaning it.
They were alone. Misato was back at Geofront at a meeting, and Asuka was at the class Rep's house and would not be coming home until late in the evening as, Shinji said, she always did on Saturdays.
Rei didn't mind. She liked the German girl now. But she also pitied the Class Rep at that moment because when Asuka left, Asuka tossed the drug contraindications compendium aside and almost stormed out, only stopping to tell Shinji where she was headed and that she would be late for dinner.
'But if anyone other than Shinji is adept at defusing an angry Asuka, it is the class representative,' thought Rei as she put the last plate into the drying rack.
It surprised her to learn that Asuka had started visiting Hikari's home almost on a schedule. Each Wednesday, for the better part of an afternoon, she would leave after breakfast each Sunday. Then she would return no sooner, but also no later, than in time for dinner.
For as long as she had known Asuka, she was a complete embodiment of chaos in everything except piloting the EVA.
So now, if Asuka was saying she would be late for dinner, something unusual must have happened. She walked over to the book Asuka left on the table and saw the list she was making.
It contained a list of her medications with the strengths and dosages as extracted from Doctor Akagi. Next to it lay another list where Asuka had written all the contraindications she had found.
Next to each combo, she neatly wrote the level of danger it constituted. Rei did not care for the medical jargon and the proper names of the meds. Instead, she looked at the neat single-word assessments Asuka put at the end of each write-up.
"schädlich"…
…
"schädlich"…
…
"tödlich?"…
…
"tödlich!"...
Rei realised Shinji was done with the dishes and joined her. At that moment, she was very glad he could not speak German. She diligently schooled her expression into one of serenity.
According to what she read, Dr Akagi was killing her with the medication she was still using… and in fact, now that she recalled, she had to take another set of pills twenty minutes from now.
Half a year ago, she would not have thought anything of it. If anything, it might grant her a release sooner. Though she had a feeling, it would not end there…
But now she felt - it took her a moment to realise it - afraid. Shinji looked at the list, and then at Rei, with the obvious question hanging in between them.
Rei could answer it, of course, but she found she would rather prefer not to for the moment. Rei looked around and saw the Shogi board was set for another game.
Yes, this could wait until Asuka got back. She motioned towards the board.
"I'd like to play another game, Shinji-Kun. We should work on your openings; you are getting much better!"
Game XX - Serial Surprise
Tuesday caught Rei with surprises from the beginning. The first one came when she woke up and found that the redheaded pilot was still missing from what, nominally at least, were her lodgings. Rei felt confused and slightly bemused at the fact that while they were nominally rooming together, Asuka had not spent a night in her room ever since.
She was unsure where she was sleeping as she would find Asuka either awake by the time she got up, or already at the kitchen table drinking her coffee each morning. This intrigued Rei: 'Most people sleep in what they call their room. But then again, both Commander and Dr Akagi have their sleeping quarters separate from their day quarters, so maybe Asuka is following the same fashion?' She thought as she looked over the room that had become her home for the last few days.
The wooden case Asuka had brought from Hikari's last Sunday still lay on the table where she had put it. Rei was rather curious about what was inside, since Asuka made a big effort to keep it hidden from their guardian.
'Yes, that's right - I just thought of Major Katsuragi as my guardian!' she thought with a surprise and filed that off in the now overflowing "To ponder at a later date" drawer in her mind.
'Given that Asuka always makes a big show of her new belongings, especially to Major Katsuragi and Shinji, this must be something they would disapprove of - maybe even something illegal?' She knew well enough that Asuka considered herself exempt from many legal restrictions that, on paper, should have applied to her - 'so maybe it's a weapon of some description.'
She looked at the clock: it showed a quarter to seven. Her painkillers must have made her miss the alarm clock again. At that time, Asuka was all but guaranteed to already have dressed and she was almost assuredly eating her breakfast.
She looked at the box again. It had no lock, only two latches. She could check what was inside. Rei made a step towards the table. In the past, she would do so only to gauge her fellow pilots' combat style and abilities…
She almost made it to the table before she stopped. True, Asuka had not explicitly forbidden her to look. But Rei was also not so inept at reading social clues to actually think that meant she was allowed to look. And she had no reason to mistrust Asuka at all: 'With the exception of Shinji, there is no one else I have reasons to trust,' she realised.
She provisionally extended her trust to Misato - not because Rei had any reason to trust her any more than anyone else in NERV - but because Shinji still trusted her. And that was enough for now.
Rei smiled. She lived with three people, and they all meant well by her. She turned back from the table and went to the drawer Asuka cleared out for her.
She was almost done dressing when someone opened the door: she turned and saw with surprise it was Asuka, who had come to fetch her. "Come on, Wundergirl, your breakfast is getting cold! I won't tolerate disrespect to Shinji's cooking!" she almost barked, but Rei could see that Asuka was smiling at her.
-x-
Lunchtime, on the roof
-x-
Almost all of class 2B took the opportunity of the first good weather day in a week to take their lunch on the rooftop.
Rei, Shinji, and Asuka still found a somewhat secluded place near the southern corner to eat the vegetarian pizza Shinji baked that morning. When they unpacked the Bento boxes, Shinji started: "Sorry, guys, it is probably cold-" only to get shut up by a glare from Asuka.
The German shook her head in a defiant way and snapped, "Don't I know? It is acceptable and several grades above anything else we could get around here, so shut it and eat your pizza, Third!" She softened the chastise with a grin, and after a second, Shinji grinned back.
Rei smiled and bit into her pizza. It was delicious. She actually ate all that Shinji packed for her, despite feeling quite ill. Rei was engrossed in her food enough to miss Touji and Kensuke showing up and pestering Shinji for leftover pizza.
"Begone, you pair of freeloaders! If there was leftover pizza, I would have eaten it!" Rei looked up just in time to see Kensuke taking cover and Touji staring at Asuka. Rei looked at the German. "A freeloader is someone who takes advantage of the effort of others, right, Asuka?"
Asuka turned to her and nodded impatiently. "Yes, Wundergirl, that's a freeloader, just like the pair of them, the stooges," she nudged her head to the boys.
"Then if Shinji baked the pizza, and I did the dishes, would that not make you a freeloader also?" asked Rei, registering Kensuke nodding and Touji giving her a thumbs up. 'Just what have I been missing out on for so long?'
Asuka just stared at her for a second. 'I would have given her a dressing down for this a month ago!' she thought. She heard the stooges laughing, and she found herself chuckling too. 'It can't be that bad if I can share a joke with Wundergirl,' she thought before realising that the stooges still needed reprimanding, so she turned to them and put on her best commiserating face.
"As a fellow freeloader, I hate to tell you, but you are late - I already ate everything!" she said before breaking into a grin. She considered the matter closed until Shinji reached into his school bag and pulled out two more boxes of pizza. Touji just grinned and started munching, but Kensuke gave Shinji a look.
"See, Shinji, how about I snap you three a nice portrait together? That way I am not with freeloaders…" He pointed towards Touji and Asuka.
Shinji gave Asuka and Rei a questioning look. Rei almost immediately nodded. Asuka leaned against the railing and thought about it. She knew the geek stooge would take photos of pretty much anything female that moved. But seeing some of the pictures he cared to share… 'He has an eye for this,' she thought and then realised she had no memento, no photo, no nothing, despite the many months she had spent fighting side by side with Shinji and Rei.
She looked at Shinji again. "Yes, let's go for it. Put on your jacket so you fit in," she finished with a cheer. As they set up for the photo, she thought it would be nice to have something lasting, even more so than a piece of Polaroid…
-x-
Bedtime, Katsuragi household
-x-
It came as a surprise to Rei when Asuka did not leave her room that night. Instead, after wishing Misato a good night and waiting till she retired, she brought up the issue of the medication.
"Rei, you really are a Wundergirl! I ran the counter-indications for your medicines and… frankly, you should be dead by now!" she said, looking at the bluenette. Asuka was holding the bedframe hard enough that her knuckles went white.
"Then why do I still live?" Rei asked, falling back on her blank expression and monotone… But inside her raged a turmoil. 'Is Doctor Akagi killing me? Why? There are still remaining angels out there… I have yet to serve my purpose!'
She felt confused: part of her still longed for death, for the pain to finally, forever, cease. But if she still had battles to fight, why dispose of her prematurely? And if she is disposed of, who would fight to protect humanity, her humanity…?
She mentally scolded herself. Asuka and Shinji were more than able to fight. Each could outfight her; that, she already knew. They could protect humanity between themselves without Rei. So why did she want to fight on?
She smiled, thinking back to the battle with Ramiel: Shinji won it and killed the angel, but Rei won and saved Shinji. She had since won several more battles, and killed or helped to kill every angel encountered so far.
But nothing she ever felt from those fights came close to what she felt when she held the shield, knowing that should it come to it, she would tank the next blast directly…
"Yes: why do you still live?" Rei was brought to the present moment and looked at the glowering Asuka. "It means one of two things: either there is an equilibrium brought by the exact combo of meds you are taking that makes them survivable, or there is something about you that makes it survivable…"
She was lost in thought almost as deeply as Rei was a moment ago. 'We need to get more intel out of Akagi,' thought Asuka. Even if the Doctor was talking now, or so Misato believed, most of what she told them made little sense on its own.
"Which do you believe to be the case, S… Asuka?" said Rei, looking at Asuka intently. Asuka spent a moment in idle thought, wondering whether Rei meant to call her Sohryu or Second and almost asked that one aloud. But she stopped short of doing that. 'Damn it, Sohryu: you just told her she should be dying. Get your act together and show some bedside manners!'
Thankfully, she had a question to answer. She thought about it for a moment, then she looked at Rei: "I think it is you: some of these medications are pretty much poisons in the strengths you are using and over the period you have been using them!"
Rei nodded, smiled at her fellow pilot, and just said: "Thank you, Asuka." The German looked at her in amazement. "Thank me for what?" she asked before she could think of any proper reaction.
She followed it with, "Rei, I just told you that Akagi is killing you! I don't know what in die Holle is the proper reaction for that, but I am pretty damn sure, it's not saying 'Thank you'! You should NOT take it so calmly; this is something you should get emotional about!" She somehow managed to keep her voice short of rousing awake every other person and penguin at the residence.
Rei gave her a smile: "Asuka, you left your notes on the table when you went to Class Representative's, and unlike Shinji, I can read German, so I had hours to deal with the news." They sat silently for a few minutes.
Then Rei said: "And it is not Doctor Akagi who is feeding me poison, it is the Human Instrumentality Committee… if Dr. Akagi refused, someone else would do it."
Asuka was almost fuming. 'Yes, could you please stop being so perfectly logical, Rei? Nobody should be this calm when given this news!' She was about to tell her that when Rei went on: "And I thanked you, because you did something that was hard for you to help me."
Asuka stopped to think about it, probably for the first time in days. It was true enough, she wanted to hurt Akagi - a lot. She wanted to make her the "Ayanami cocktail" and personally make her drink it.
But to herself she had to admit that she was scared: 'It could easily have been me if these psychos picked me instead of Rei, or Shinji.' Part of her wanted, really wanted, to grab the diplomatic passport that was sitting in her drawer, grab Shinji and Rei, and shanghai them to Germany, Commander, Akagi and HIC be damned…
But first she had to answer Rei. Asuka inhaled deeply and looked her fellow pilot in the eyes: "At first I only wanted to help Shinji. It pisses him off how you are treated, then I got pissed too when I saw for myself…"
"Me as an Evangelion pilot, or me as a person?" Rei might have said it conversationally, but Asuka realised that the answer would matter a great deal to the bluenette. She collected her thoughts and said, "You as an Eva pilot at first, but you as a person now."
Rei took that with a nod, apparently considering the subject finished. "So if something about me makes for survival under otherwise fatal conditions, what will be our course?" she asked after a brief silence.
"We need to learn more about your past. Akagi says she does not know all that much and given how secretive the Commander is, she is probably telling the truth in this case. We also must tell Shinji." Asuka could see Rei turning crestfallen at this last part.
She knew the last one would be a hard sell from the moment she came to her conclusion about the poisoning. Asuka almost started the prepared tirade of arguments when Rei spoke up: "I do not wish to further trouble Shinji. He worries enough already. Besides, you and Major Katsuragi are going to take the lead on this, right?" Rei folded her hands and waited for Asuka to reply.
'Must not slap Wundergirl,' thought Asuka. She thought to argue by explaining things, but decided against it: "Rei, Shinji risks his life depending on us. He has the right to know if either of us is sick or hurt on that count alone." She waited until Rei nodded a reluctant assent.
Then she smiled: "And playing the cello and worrying about people is just what Baka does for a living; he pilots Evangelion as a hobby." Asuka let the smile disappear and added: "And trust me, he will be worried LESS if he knows than if he can only imagine."
They spent a while talking as Asuka put on her pyjamas and got ready for bed. Asuka stopped halfway, letting her hair loose to wish Rei a good night, but noticed Rei looking at her with hints of nervousness.
'Damn, if she lets out even a hint of nervosity, she must be a wreck,' Asuka thought and felt a sting of shame. 'Good on you, Sohryu, you were about to go get a comfort hug because you had a rough evening, and did not think about the person you told that they are dying,' finished her conscience merrily.
Asuka momentarily thought about what Shinji would do… 'OK, no way I am kissing her…' Asuka had to smile at that, and so she did the second thing she thought Shinji would do…
"Hey, Wundergirl, you look… hell, it's OK if you are nervous, it only proves you are human after all!" she finished with her best approximation of a supportive smile.
She eased a good deal when Rei matched her smile and pointed to the shogi board at the table: "I… do not think I will be able to sleep right now. Would you play with me?"
Asuka nodded and brought the board over to her bed. "Yes, I am actually a pretty decent chess player, so bring your best game if you want to stand a chance!"
She stopped when she noticed Rei was still not looking very content. Asuka had never prided herself as a great people reader, but she could put two and two together well enough… 'Guess I just did not imagine she would want my company, of all people!' she thought with a new appreciation for Rei. 'But I guess it is not too late to start a friendship now,' she amended as they started a very fast and exceptionally one-sided game of shogi…
Five games later, and five-nil for Rei later, Asuka no longer bothered to stiffen yaw. Rei started putting the figures back in the case and then looked at Asuka and said: "You look tired, Asuka, you should retire to your night quarters. Although I do not wish to be alone tonight, I can't ask you to give up your sleep for that!"
It took Asuka's brain a moment to realise what Rei just said and its implications. Then she blushed and started weaving together some half-credible denial: if Rei put two and two together, there was no way she could stop her from telling Misato without way too much explanation.
If she told Rei that she slept in Shinji's bed simply because it was the best way to get a night of sleep, and that she was in a relationship with him… Then there was no way for the "We never thought to lie to you, we just did not tell you" excuse to possibly work when they were eventually going to get busted by Misato.
Then the last part of the sentence clicked in. It made Asuka smile with relief: 'Rei simply assumed that my room was like an office to me.' She would correct that misconception at a later date.
Asuka simply got into her own bed and grinned at Rei: "It's fine Rei, I can grab a night of sleep in my "day quarters" just fine." She made a mental note that she would just have to text Shinji so he did not worry about her as well as about Rei…
