TheCurtHawkins

Have many times have you seen ZackRyder cry? #AskTheHeel

The tweet isn't directly aimed at Dolph, but it does include his Q&A hashtag. He frowns at it, taps his finger against the screen, and although dozens of other questions are pouring in for him, he can't get it out of his mind. Not that he would ever, ever, ever answer it on social media, but it brings back a flood of memories, some good and a lot that are just painfully awful.

He first meets Zack when Zack is still young, barely 22 years old. He's cocky and self-assured, under the tutelage of Edge, but there is something there, hidden down deep that Dolph isn't sure of. He doesn't realize what it is until later, much later, when he is wandering down a hallway, trying to catch his breath after winning his first match. There's a weird, snuffling noise a few feet away, and he wonders if maybe someone's injured, but he cares first and foremost about his own well-being so he approaches uncertainly, frowning into the shadows. "Hello, my name is Dolph Ziggler. Who's there?" he asks, the standard greeting now slipping from his lips whether he wants it to or not.

There's a shuffling sound and then a bemused, tear-stained Zack Ryder peeks out of a cluster of crates, their eyes locking. He flushes, realizing he's caught, and tries to scramble up while wiping his face off. "Oh, hah, hey bro," he says, trying and failing to sound normal as his voice gives up and cracks half-way through.

"Hey, kid," he responds simply, thrown anew by just how young the guy looks, especially now. "You alright?" Zack nods, looking nervous, and Dolph offers him a crooked smirk. "What are you doing on the floor then?"

"Nothing," he says defensively, dusting his knees off as he stands up fully. "What are you doing over here?"

"Thought I heard something," Dolph says near dismissively. They stand there quietly for a few moments before Dolph clears his throat. "Well, there's one thing to do at a time like this," he says, clapping his hands. "Let's go get somethin' to eat." He wraps an arm around Zack and forces him to walk down the hall, all too aware of the reddened state of his eyes but not bothering to comment on it.

He's not surprised when Zack confesses later on, after some food and drinks, that the homesickness was particularly rough that day, having seen it much too often in other, younger wrestlers.

-x

Months have passed, maybe a year, and Dolph finds Zack staring at a calendar, a distant look in his eyes. He stands by him, staring at the calendar as well, wondering what Zack could see there that he couldn't. Finally he licks his lips and whispers, "Kid? What's up?"

Zack barely responds to his voice, releasing a breath. "Nothing," he says but Dolph can hear the soft hitch in his voice that reminds him so much of when they first met, when he was still so young and new to the world of the WWE.

He doesn't push it, however, knowing that Zack will talk when he wants to. So he stands next to him and he waits, and he listens to the soft inhales and exhales. After a few minutes, Zack reaches out and finds Dolph's hand in the shadows and lifts it, pressing it against his chest, against an uneven ridge of flesh that Dolph had always wondered about but never found the time to ask.

"You know when you have lung cancer, they put a little shunt right here, and it feeds chemo into you?" Zack asks after a few moments, feeling as Dolph's fingers explore the uneven dips in his chest gently. Dolph doesn't respond, unsure how to respond. "No one really asks," he says. "They probably think it's just another side affect of being a wrestler, or something. Maybe I got nicked there by something innocent." His voice hitches again and Dolph suddenly doesn't want to know as much as he needs to, Zack's fingers trembling against his own.

"Kid," he whispers, horrified for the man who he'd just started to get involved with recently. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I don't let it dictate my life," he tries to explain. "I never wanted it to be a part of this. You know? My career as a wrestler, it shouldn't... It..." He closes his eyes. He sniffs, turning towards Dolph with desperation bleeding from his wet eyes. "It's just days like today, I remember how scared my parents were. Hell, how scared I was." He looks once more at the calendar. "It was this day, all of those years ago, I was told I was in remission. That I was going to be ok. It was this day that I felt like I could really breathe again."

Dolph reaches out and holds his hand, giving it a squeeze. "I'm glad you were," he says softly. "Really glad, kid." When Zack nods, still crying slightly, he grips the back of Zack's neck and draws him in, hugging him close as he cries out the rest of his emotions. While he waits this out, he stares at the calendar and ignores the stinging of his own eyes, memorizing this date to honor it for the rest of his life too.

-x

He knew kissing Princess Leia had been a mistake as soon as her lips had touched his, but dammit, it was supposed to be funny, not the serious thing it really became... it wasn't until he saw Zack the next time and found an unwelcome glare on his face that he knew just how bad it really was, where this was going to end up. They barely spoke for awhile after that, just existing around each other and, whenever they did talk or touch, or anything, there was just a bite of bitterness, anger and pain locked up under their skin, in the tones of their voices.

It was only after Zack had finally kissed him, and pressed against him so tight, that Dolph felt how badly he had messed up in the tension of every inch of Zack's body, in how rigid his grip was against Dolph's arms, like he was afraid if he let go, Dolph would disappear forever.

Later that night, when they laid side by side in Zack's dark, quiet bedroom, and tried to sleep, Dolph knew they were over as the bed shook with Zack's silent, bitter sobs.

-x

It's overwhelming, this reunion. One minute, they can barely stand to be in the same locker room, the next Zack is saving his things from AJ, and wishing him a happy birthday, and it's all Dolph can stand to not grab him right then and kiss him hard, apologize for everything he's ever done to cause him pain. Somehow it segues to this, where they're holding each other and whispering quiet reassurances and Dolph's hands and lips are gentle and slow, remembering every inch of Zack's skin like he'd never left it... kissing along his collar bone, musing over how normal it all feels, like they never stopped.

He's just moved back up to kiss Zack on the lips when he sees the tears glistening in his eyes. Immediately his face softens and he shifts up, kisses Zack on each eyelid. "Oh kid," he murmurs. "It's ok. I'm overwhelmed by it all too."

"Wouldn't know it," Zack whispers, laughing sheepishly at himself as he wipes at his eyes clumsily. "You're always so cool and calm." Dolph affectionately bumps his nose against Zack's and smiles. "I love you, bro."

"I love you too, kid." They kiss and when Zack gets a little emotional again through the night, Dolph holds him just a little tighter, and soothes him just a little more gently.

-x

He shakes his head of these memories when Zack drops down next to him, a cheery grin on his face. Examining him, he's sure there are other times when Zack's cried in front of him, some lost to the concussions he's suffered over the years, and some that he passed off as unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Either way, if he did decide to answer Hawkins—not that he would, even he'd never out Zack about something so humiliating on such a public place as Twitter- but, he thinks glumly, leaning over to hug Zack close and kiss him softly, the answer easily would be 'Much too often.'