The Proper Distance
"Miss Arthur." This time I knew it was Severus without raising my head from my paperwork. Everyone else—even my horrid stepmother—calls me Anna by now.
"Severus?" He strode down the infirmary toward me, irritation and resolve radiating from him as usual. "Remus?" I asked, puzzled, spying Remus following him. When the four Weasleys walked through the door with Draco in tow, I stood and walked around my desk. "What are you…" I began, my brain racing. "Did something happen to Hermione?" I demanded, her absence registering at last.
"Hermione's fine." Remus assured me, casting a glance behind him as the door opened again. There she was, with Tonks.
"What the hell?" I turned my question on Severus, who I hoped would at least begin to answer.
"Anna, just listen." Remus put in, his calm voice doing little to quell my growing anxiety.
"This is ridiculous." Hermione snapped, stepping forward next to Severus, her face drawn tight with annoyance. From the corner of my eye I saw Draco's mouth quirk.
"We need to know what you're going to do about Harry." Ron said stoutly, stepping closer. His neck and ears were red—they distracted me from what he said for a moment. When I saw the twins nod, I ran it back through my mind.
"Huh?" I said stupidly.
"Anna, you have one week left." Ginny began.
"And we've been trying to tell you," Fred continued.
"We all have," George noted.
"That you should give Harry a chance." Fred finished.
"And why not? What the bloody hell's wrong with him?" Ron demanded, stepping still closer with an angry look on his face. If I hadn't been so confused I might've been intimidated.
"I—I don't…what?" I knitted my eyebrows and leaned back on my desk. I turned to Severus, who I thought I could trust to be reasonable. "Severus, tell me what's going on, please."
"Anna," he began. The use of my given name threw me. Maybe something happened to Harry? Why else would they all be in the infirmary looking for a healer—Wade? I felt panic start to set in. "Stop being a fool." Severus commanded. I blinked at him. Hermione reached over and clasped his forearm.
"We're here because you have a week," she began, "before you have to leave."
"Yes, I've got that part." I snapped.
"And we think Harry might marry you." Ginny summarized. I opened my mouth, but found I had nothing to say. I closed it again. I looked at them; they looked back at me.
"Think about it, Anna." Fred insisted, his face serious. "If you don't do something, you're going back to America to live with the muggles." The room went silent a moment; they stood, looking at me.
"Do what, damn it?" I exploded. "Do you all think this is news to me? You think I'm surprised? You think it's going to change because you all came here to tell me how shitty my situation is?" I was screaming at them, and I didn't care.
"Stop." Severus commanded, forcefully grabbing my shoulders and lifting me nearly off my feet. I stared at him, angry. "You have been thinking of nothing but how 'shitty your situation is.'" He sneered. "You have acted like a child. If you do not want to lose your wand you will act like an adult." His black eyes shone with anger. He released my shoulders and strode back to Hermione's side, his movements tense.
"He said you were meeting him tonight." Tonks put in. Ron looked surprised, and Ginny grinned.
"Yeah." I confirmed, trying to be civil.
"It's not about the case." Tonks continued.
"Of course it is," I said, my voice flat.
"Doesn't have to be." Ginny piped up. I shook my head.
"It isn't about the case." Tonks insisted. I turned to face her. "It's in trial. It's out of our hands." My chest squeezed. Maybe? Of course not, Arthur. Be realistic.
"You're trying not to believe us." Ginny accused.
"I've had enough of this." I announced. I walked past them and out of the infirmary, not looking back. But before the door closed I could hear the start of a conversation.
"Maybe we ought to lock them in a broom closet," one of the twins mused, with a frustrated sigh. They'd damn well better not.
Two hours later I was forty-five minutes from needing to leave to meet Harry, and probably a good two days' time from deciding what to wear. My room looked like my closet had ejected every bit of clothing I owned. I slouched in front of my mirror, fussing with a fraying seam on a pair of slacks. I heaved a huge sigh, staring at the ceiling. That was it. Annoyed as I sort of still was, I decided to floo Hermione and Ginny. Someone had to dress me, and I sure wasn't doing it myself.
"Hermione?" I called out of her grate. Severus appeared in my field of vision first. "Severus, is Hermione available?"
"She is." He said sharply, then leaned closer to the grate. "You have considered our earlier conversation?"
"Yes." I allowed. "I can't tell you I know what to do. I don't. But I can't keep…" I trailed off, momentarily closing my eyes. "Doing this," I finished.
"No." He confirmed. He straightened, then disappeared to return with Hermione in tow. She came through, then called Ginny for me. They both joined me in my room, among the profusion of rejected outfits. Ginny shook her head.
"Not going well, is it." Ginny commented.
"Not helping," I bantered.
"This is a mess, Anna." Hermione sniffed. She waved her wand a few times, arranging the clothes back in my closet. She and Ginny began a rapid discussion of possibilities. I sat back on my bed to watch.
"We know he likes your tattoos," Ginny mused.
"But she can't look like she's up to something." Hermione demurred.
"She can show a little…" Ginny snatched a strapless dress from the back of the closet. "This is cute."
"Too much." Hermione declared. "He's never seen Anna in a dress."
"Except for your wedding," Ginny corrected.
"Yes, but…" Hermione yanked a top with a draped neck out of the closet.
"That one falls off my shoulders all the time." I piped up.
"That's good." Hermione concluded.
"I'll freeze," I butted in.
"Suffer for beauty, then." Ginny shot back. Hermione threw the top at me; I grabbed a camisole for insulation beneath the loose knit. "The color could be better," Ginny frowned. She waved her wand and the top became a deep scarlet.
"Gryffindor?" I asked, dubious.
"Trust me." Ginny insisted. Hermione threw a pair of fairly reputable jeans at me.
"Those will make it look like you aren't dressed up." She concluded. "You always wear jeans."
"American," I reminded her, gesturing to myself. Ginny smirked.
"But you can't wear those shoes." Hermione ordered, gesturing toward my usual scuffed boots. Ginny disappeared into the closet, and emerged holding the boots I usually wear on the farm. She kept them at arm's length and peered at them distrustfully. I laughed.
"I use those on the farm, Gin." I explained, gesturing toward the mud splattered sides and worn soles. She dropped them back in the closet and reemerged with a pair of flats. I put them on and twirled for the two of them. "What would I do without you guys?"
"Go naked, probably." Ginny deadpanned. Hermione grinned.
"And go unmarried." I said, carefully looking both of them in the eye.
"So you're going to try." Hermione said. I nodded, trying to keep the nervous look off my face. Ginny bounced once, smiling.
"I don't even know how, but I will." I said bravely, hoping I'd have the guts to see this through.
Ginny left my rooms first, claiming a prior engagement. Hermione and I had tea and talked a bit about school, Severus, and how long it had been since we talked. Just before she left she turned to me and said seriously, apropos of nothing, "just talk to him, Anna. That's all he wants."
And maybe it was. We sat in Harry's house in the woods slowly killing a second bottle of wine and talking. We'd gone to a café but chosen to cook for ourselves when we learned the wait for a table was over an hour. That actually meant I followed Harry's directions about preparing ingredients while he cooked. A bitter emotion rose up in my throat as I watched him easily combining ingredients. This was a man I'd only get to know for a week.
"Your land in Idaho; what's it like?" He said, breaking a lull in our conversation. We'd been talking inanely about Hogwarts castle, and the change in focus surprised me. I considered.
"Dry. And cold, some of the time." I thought a few moments more. "It seems flat when you first get there, but it's high up and flat. You don't notice the elevation at first. It's covered in sage unless it's been grazed down. I guess it'll all be covered next time I'm there. I've sold the cattle."
"Cattle?" Harry raised an eyebrow.
"Mm." I nodded. "Between us, I kind of hate them." He let out a laugh. "They're vicious and stupid, Harry." I insisted.
"They sound like Slytherins," he said, laughing.
"I'm not getting in the middle of that." I demurred. "Severus could curse me into next week without breaking a sweat."
"Hermione wouldn't let him." Harry waved a hand in dismissal.
"I don't know about that." I said. "She's annoyed with me right now."
"What did you do?" Harry peered at me, curious.
"It's what I didn't do." I looked away toward the window. "I've only got a week to get married. And I'm not going to make it." An unpleasant silence fell. I sipped my wine, staring at the fireplace.
"You're sure." He said flatly.
"I think I'd know, Harry." I whispered. I took a deep breath and whipped my hair back behind my shoulder, angry with myself for acting pitiful.
"It's an idiotic law." He growled, straightening slightly from his easy slouch on the opposite end of the sofa.
"Damn right." I agreed.
"Do you want to go back to America?" He asked, looking steadily into my eyes. I looked back at him for a moment, considering.
"No." My fast answer surprised me. But it was true. I didn't. I wanted to stay home, and home was here. I felt my chest squeeze. I didn't want to talk about this anymore. After all that wine, I might just say something foolish. "I note you didn't offer to save me from a hexing by Severus, Harry." I dodged, forcing cheer into my voice.
"What's in it for me?" He smirked at me. I raised my eyebrow at him. He chuckled. I wrapped my arms around myself. I caught Harry watching the fabric of my top slowly slip from my shoulder. Now or never, Arthur. I shrugged slowly, sending the neckline farther down.
"What do you want?" I turned to him, meeting his eyes when he drew them back up to my face. The brilliant green was even visible in firelight. He reached a hand out and traced his index finger from my jaw down my neck, and over the curve of my shoulder. I took in a sharp breath.
"Anna," he said, his voice low and quiet. His hand traveled back up my shoulder to the nape of my neck, where his fingers wove into my hairline. At his gentle pressure I slid toward him. He reached around my back and lifted me onto his lap, pressing his lips to the side of my throat. I pushed my fingers into his hair, holding him to me as he worked his way up my throat to take my ear lobe in his teeth.
"Harry," I breathed, and his restraint seemed to break. His grip around my back tightened, and he kissed me, his tongue slashing across my lips. I felt myself moan as he explored my mouth, his hand leaving my head to slide across the skin of my shoulders. His full lips felt slightly rough on mine, and the calluses of his hands lightly scratched my skin. I could taste the red wine in his mouth and feel the muscles moving in his chest and arms. I pressed against the planes of his body, needing more of him.
I felt his hands drop to my hips and slide up my ribs; I broke from him, raising my arms so he could lift off my top. He swept his eyes down my camisole, then brought his thumbs up to trace the bottom curve of my breasts. I let my eyes close for a moment, and opened them as he slid us to a reclining position. He rolled me atop him, then against the back of the couch. I slid my fingers under the collar of his shirt and laid my head on his shoulder. His palm rested beneath my camisole on my ribcage, and his other hand curled in my hair. I watched goose bumps form on his skin as I breathed across the open neck of his shirt.
"We can't do this." Harry sighed, his voice tight.
"I know." I said. It was too little too late. We'd only make our separation more awkward. I closed my eyes. I could feel him dip his chin to look down at me. His breath floated over my eyelashes.
"Anna." He said seriously. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He looked back. "Will you stay?" I nodded, moving my thumb in a light arc over the skin near his collarbone. He pressed his slightly swollen lips to my forehead and relaxed his head back onto the couch, and we stilled for the night.
