The One With Tha Baby's Father
(a.ka. TOW Joey's Big Night, Part III)
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They belong to David Crane, Martha Kauffman and Kevin Bright's show Friends. This is just fanfiction.
(Continues where TOW Joey's Big Night, Part II left off..)
Previously on "Friends"...
Scene: Joey's and Rachel's; Rachel and Joey are there.
Rachel: Where were you? Did you fix things with Ross?
Joey: No. But I tried. It got worse.
Rachel: Why, what happened?
Joey: Well, apparently, I broke some dinosaur bone that was found from, like, sixteen million years ago, so...
Rachel: Ooh, no, that's so bad. For Ross. (Pause) Is he preparing the funeral now?
Joey: Yeah.
Rachel: Yeah!
(Joey sits down.)
Joey: Ugh, god, I really have to fix things with him. I mean, that guy's pretty upset about that.
Rachel: I bet he is. You know, when Ross and I were dating, he always this romantic funny guy who would bring me stuff to work everyday and when I come back, he would prepare me dinner with candlelight on the balcony and some cherries on the side with pretty-well designed flowers and blueberries that I would just love. We would have some pretty good time together. We once even slept on the balcony!
Joey: This balcony?
Rachel: No, don't worry, Monica's.
Time Lapse to Joey and Rachel's kiss as Ross enters.
Time Lapse to later.
Ross: I wanna talk about what happened. About what I saw.
Rachel: No, no, no, you don't!
Ross: We have to talk about this.
Joey: Go ahead, Ross. Talk about whatever you want, buddy. 'Cause you're my best buddy! (Chuckles)
Ross: All right, why were you two kissing?
(Long Pause)
Joey: Refill? (Takes Ross's mug and heads to the kitchen. Rachel follows him.)
Rachel: Joey, this is bad. This is really, really bad.
Joey: It doesn't look good, does it?
Rachel: I just said it's "bad", what's the matter with you! (short pause) Talk to him, Joey. He really needs you to be his friend now. I'll be outside. (Leaves)
Ross: Hey, where'd Rachel go?
Joey: Ross, we need to talk about this. (Sighs and sits down) I'm sorry, but I can't help it. I'm crazy about her.
(Ross is shocked.)
Ross: Okay.
Joey: What?
Ross: I said okay.
Joey: What do you mean "okay"?
Ross: You love Rachel. (Gets up and leaves)
(Long Silence)
(Ross returns, and he is just standing at the doorway)
Ross: She's my ex-girlfriend.
(Joey has a disappointed look on his face.)
Time Lapse to the finale scene of TOW Joey's Big Night, Part I...
Ross: No, you know what? Don't talk! Don't speak at all! Do me a favor. And sleep with Rachel.
Joey: What!
Ross: Yeah, you heard me. Go sleep with her. Do that, now!
Joey: Ross...
Rachel: He can't do that.
(Silence. They realize she is at the door.)
Rachel: I'm pregnant.
(Awkward silence)
Ross: Rachel! Hi!
Rachel: Hey.
Ross: Do you mind me asking what on earth did you just say!
Rachel: Umm...well, the thing is, it's, uh, uhm...I took a pregnancy test. And turns out...I'm pregnant! (Chuckles)
Joey: How...how did this happen?
Ross: Rachel and I have been secretly going on for over three months now.
Joey: Oh, my god.
Ross: And I guess you and Rachel now have a...thing! So, I guess I'll be gone. (Starts to leave)
Joey: Ross, wait!
Ross: What? What do you want, Joey? You're dating my girlfriend, you're dating the woman who is carrying my baby. (Leaves)
(Awkward silence)
Joey: Wow, this is weird.
Rachel: I know. What are the chances?
Joey: You know what? It's all your fault!
Rachel: What!
Joey: You could've just stopped the kiss! How can you not stop the kiss, when you're having a baby with my best friend!
Rachel: How can I stop a kiss from happening?
Joey: Oh, so easy! Look at us now, not kissing!
Rachel: Joey, it happened. And you can't just undo it from happening.
Joey: But... (Long Silence) Okay. I get it. (Goes to his room)
Phoebe: (Enters) Hey! Rach, listen to the song I created!
Rachel: You know, Pheebs, I'm just really not in the mood for that right now.
Phoebe: Just like what my daddy said! (Leaves, mad)
Opening Credits
Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica and Phoebe are there.
Monica: You know, now with the things going on with the Joey-Rachel-Ross triangle, I think we're not seeing them in here much often.
Phoebe: Well, can't say it's a bad thing.
Chandler: Oh, Pheebs, I wanted to ask you, since you and Mike are professionals at the singing thing.
Phoebe: Oh, I wouldn't call us professionals. (Pause) But more like stars!
Chandler: Yeah, I need to write a jingle for a Christmas sale advertisement at the ad agency, so I was kinda wondering if you and Mike would be willing to...write it.
Phoebe: Oh, yay! I like to write jingles! Sure, of course, Chandler!
Chandler: Thanks!
Phoebe: All right, let me think of how to start it. Oooh! I got one! All right. (SINGING) Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way....
Monica: Phoebe, you can't include the famous Jingle Bells song.
Phoebe: What, he said he wanted the word "jingle" in it, now didn't he!
Monica: Oh, (talking to Chandler) before I forget, sweetie...
Phoebe: Yes, darling?
Monica: (Ignoring Phoebe, but still laughing at it) Mom and dad invited us to their housewarming party. You know, now that they officially bought a new house.
Chandler: Oh, great! I would love to play tennis with your father again.
Monica: Great, but honey, please don't loose.
Phoebe: Oh, great, Mon, what time?
Monica: What? What time what?
Phoebe: The housewarming party.
Monica: Oh, I--I didn't say I was gonna invite you guys.
Phoebe: What! So you guys go over to some slumber housewarming party, while Mike and I end up writing a "jingle" song!
Monica: All right, fine. You and Mike can go. It starts at seven. Here's their address. (Gives her a piece of paper) But don't tell the others. All right? 'Cause I don't want them fighting in the middle of the party, and embarrassing us, okay?
Phoebe: Okay. And now, why would I ever invite Ross?
Chandler: 'Cause he's already invited, since it's his parents' housewarming party.
Phoebe: Oh, Ross's parents are having a housewarming party too? What a "joincidence"!
(Joey enters)
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Joey. Guess what? Monica's parents are having a housewarming party tomorrow night, and guess what--you're invited!
Chandler: Phoebe!
Joey: Oh, great. Thanks. I think I'm gonna go. 'Cause I really want to take my thoughts off my brain. (They all glare at him) Yeah, got a lot of thinking to do lately!
(Ross enters, sees Joey, then goes to sit at the counter alone)
Monica: What's up with him?
Joey: Still mad at me.
Chandler: About the soapie award thing?
Joey: No. It got a lot more complicated than you think.
Monica: Looks like it. But, I mean, it can't be as bad as if Rachel was pregnant or something.
(Joey opens his eyes wildly in shock.)
Monica: Oh, my god, she is!
Chandler: Oh, my god, who's the father?
Phoebe: Oh, my god, I just thought of a great jingle song!
Joey: You're not supposed to know this information, but I'll tell ya anyway! (Pause) It's Ross.
(They all gasp in shock.)
Phoebe: It goes a little like this...
Joey: Sssshhhh! But now, Ross is even more mad at me, because he now knows that his best friend --thats me-- is going out with the woman who is carrying his baby.
Chandler: Oh, my god. That's so bad.
Phoebe: (Singing a song that is a little like Smelly Cat) Phoebe Buffay, Phoebe Buffay...why don't you think of a song? Phoebe Buffay, Phoebe Buffay...it is not your fault... What do you think?
Chandler: It's great. But I think I'll go with Jingle Bells.
(Ross comes closer.)
Ross: Hey, guys. Y'all know about Monica and my parents' housewarming party, right?
Chandler: Yeah.
Phoebe: Can't wait.
Ross: Great. 'Cause they asked for everybody to be there.
Joey: Yeah. I think I'm gonna pass.
(Long Silence)
Ross: Okay. See you guys there. (Leaves the coffeehouse)
Monica: Pass? Joey, you're gonna pass? But why! I want you to be there!
Joey: No, I can't go if both, Ross and Rachel are going.
Chandler: I guess you're right.
Monica: To Chandler Shush, you're never right!
(Chandler looks dumbfounded)
Phoebe: Well, she has a point.
Monica: Joey, if you don't fix this now, then it'll stay a complicated situation forever!
Joey: Monica...
Monica: Think of all the dancing!
Joey: I can't just...
Monica: Think of all the girls!
Joey: I don't want to...
Monica: The food!
(Pause)
Joey: Ohh, nobody said nothin' about food. I'm there! BEAT Is there a pool too, or somethin'?
TO BE CONTINUED...
END.
(the finale chapter is coming soon, only if i read more than at least 3 reviews, sorry:) )
