Disclaimer: I own nothing and don't intend CR in anyway.


Sirius gave a long and low whistle before collapsing into one of the chairs in his kitchen. Poppy had called to relieve him ahem he meant; to check on Snape. "Thank God the bugger can't read my mind… can he?" Sirius mused, one dark eyebrow quirking mischievously.

He looked over to the small baby sitting at the edge of the long wooden table, little legs over the edge, while the Healer gibbered in a silly baby voice to the man who he had spent his life detesting.

"You are an insufferable woman" Snape thought bitterly, but he had to admit that it felt pleasant to be praised for sitting on his arse doing nothing. Just being. He wasn't accustomed to such attention.

Snape had been a sad and neglected child as long as he could remember. Poppy had always been kind to him, every time he ended up in her infirmary at the hands of either Potter and his goons, his own parents, or the countless other students he fought with. He tried not to grimace, but his face betrayed the emotion. He watched as Poppy ascertained him, talking her foolish nonsense, but making him feel special none-the-less.

"Now, Severus, can you raise your arms for me? Excellent, such a clever little boy!" Poppy preened.

Sirius watched in shock as the baby's face broke into a wide toothless grin, dribble escaping one side of his mouth. "This has to be an act!" Sirius thought in exasperation "Where was that baby when I had the brat upstairs!"

Sirius grimaced to himself as he recalled the struggle to wash Snivellus' hair and rolled his eyes dramatically. He was as gentle as he could be, touching the child as minimally as possible due to the adverse reaction he received every time he did. Snape was making him feel like he was a bad person just for existing, but the baby needed his help Sirius had concluded grimly. He was just pretending it was Harry.


"Now listen here Snape" Sirius started, his tight black t-shirt sticking slick to his chest following the baby splashing water in the air for the umpteenth time, just as Sirius had leaned over him.

It was a bad reaction, Snape had thought, but entirely unconscious on his part. It was as if his little body and his mind were no longer on the same page.

He had been lowered into a large tub of water in Black's en suite after urinating himself. Even now, his face was flushed in complete humiliation. He had been shocked to feel Black's gentle touch, albeit via his calloused hands.

Black had not hurt him, and he had been bewildered.

He now sat in front of the man he knew as his sworn enemy, naked and exposed to him, in complete misery. He felt frightened to be so vulnerable, every time Black moved his hand over him, Severus had tensed in fear of what was coming, and sometimes he had flinched violently, splashing water into the air around him and soaking Black.

Therefore, when Sirius, soaked to his skin, had rose abruptly in exasperation, and startled the baby with a cold and aggravated tone, calling him 'Snape' and glaring down at him, Snape's mind went blank with fear and a terrified whimper escaped his lips, parted in horror.

Sirius had raised from his kneeling position, getting soaked every which way over the edge of his claw foot tub, centred in his modern bathroom. The man felt aggravated and fixed the little demon with a hard glare. His bloody house was going to ruined with the slimy git!

Sirius regretted his reaction instantly when he watched the baby's face transform in fear. Large black eyes went glassy and a shrill whimper plucked at his heart.

He had lost his temper with a baby, Snape or no Snape, and he was immediately ashamed.

Slowly lowering himself down to the floor again he watched as tears spilled over the large eyes of his former enemy. He added the former, because he knew instantly that this baby needed protection, not intimidation.

When Sirius was eye level with Severus, he lowered his voice to a soft murmur and said "Hey lad, it's ok now. I'm sorry".

The baby continued to cry, as Severus' mind had gone blank in fear. The little body reverting back to his baser urges and crying in pure fear at the assault he knew to expect from this older man. He was just like his dadda.

"Now, now Snape, calm down. You're alright" Sirius said, as he rubbed the infant's back "No need to cry, come on now".

"Did Black just say cry" Snape thought in complete mortification. "I am a bloody fool!" Snape screamed.

Sirius watched the baby suddenly let out a shrill and frustrated cry. Snape's face looked angry, red and squished up, tear stains down his little cheeks.

Sirius couldn't help but remember Harry's first meltdown because Padfoot had bought the baby and broom and Lily wouldn't let him on it.

"He's too bloody young Sirius, I'd like him to get some teeth before you four idiots knock them out!" Lily had snapped at Sirius, James nodding with his wife until he realised she had said 'four'.

"Four Lils?" Prongs had whined at her, one eyebrow raised. Harry continued his cries, turning various shades of purple, while Sirius held him like a ticking time bomb. Until he had burped himself in the annoyance, making all the adults laugh.

Sirius had immersed himself in the happy memory, smiling happily, forgetting the baby before him for a millisecond.

"You rotten bastard, you better wipe that smirk off your ugly face right now!" Snape screeched, effectively bringing Sirius down to earth with a hard bump.

"Jesus, Snape, calm your tush before I let the drain swallow you" Sirius whined, his head was beginning to hurt.

Snape knew logically he couldn't fit down the drain, but the fear stalled him enough to be still and Sirius took the opportunity to wash as much of the baby as possible.

"I need to get him to drier territory" Sirius thought sardonically.

Severus, meanwhile, was intentionally being as unhelpful as possible, splashing Sirius, holding his arms and legs tightly against his body and twisting away from Sirius when he tried to swipe at him with the soapy cloth.

The nightmare ended when Snape's hair was finally washed, and Sirius' eardrums were thoroughly busted. Snape had kept a constant cry while getting his hair washed, that got louder and louder until he was yanked abruptly from the water.

"Black! Stop! I can't breathe! Leave my hair alone you you you arrogant bastard!" Snape cried, screeching only sounds, which frustrated him to further cry. "I want my mummy" Snape thought miserably, before he could be shocked to have thought it. He was a bloody grown man.

Snape felt Sirius' rough hands under his soapy armpits and cringed, embarrassed to be displayed like this, limp and soapy, in front of Black. "I will repay that arsehole for this" Snape thought miserably.

Sirius, who was focused on not insulting the soggy git hanging in front of him, proceeded carefully into his bedroom, avoiding all puddles and rivers on the floor. Internally he cursed Snape but settled to expel an annoyed huff and whine while rolling his eyes.

Snape was unceremoniously plonked back on Sirirus' bed, thankful the fool had been careful to scourgify the soiled linen first.

Snape found himself lying on the sheets in the dark room without Black in sight. He was looking up at the dark rolls of velvet canopy above him and his stupid baby eyes were playing tricks on him.

He could see things swirling in the sheets, dementors, death eaters, potions and suddenly he thought Voldemort launched himself toward him!.

He couldn't stop the terrified cry he emitted.

Snape rolled away with all his little might and suddenly the floor was coming up fast to his face. He didn't have time to cry as he was stunned that he had been so foolish.
Of course Black wasn't smart enough to protect him or ward his bed to stop him rolling, why had he thought he was?!

He was saved from the ground by Sirius' last-minute intervention, his hands catching the little chest, winding him.

Air swooshed from his little lungs and he struggled to breath in.

Sirius had just caught the little demon before he fell from the high bed to the floor. He had cursed himself for forgetting Lily's number one rule – Baby's roll!

He heard the puff from the baby's lungs and a shuddering breath as Snape tried to bring air back into his little body.

Sirius acted on instinct and lifted the baby upright, rubbing his back roughly to force him to breath.

Snape made eye contact with Sirius as he drew a ragged breath in. His black eyes were stunned.

Before he knew what he was doing, Sirius was shouting.

"You stupid fool! Are you so determined to be a pain in the arse that you'll not give me a moment's peace?" a little v knitted between the child's eyebrows and this seemed to spur Sirius on.

"Don't you ever dare do something that stupid again!" Sirius continued "You could have died!".

The last word rang through the following silence like a bell tolling its final chime.

Sirius watched the bottom lip of his enemy quivering and the little v deeper in his brow. Snape's fists were clenched tightly, his elbows tucked over Sirius' arms due to him holding the baby under the armpits. His legs dangled limply, suds trickling down them.

The child was quivering in his arms and the sight drenched Sirius' anger like icy cold water.

Out of nothing more than instinct, he automatically brought the baby close to him, Snape's little head rested on his shoulder with his face turned into the nape of Sirius' neck. His hair was silky soft Sirius mused, accounting his awesome hair skills for this.

"There, there little one. I'm sorry for shouting" Sirius murmured to the little baby, ashamed of himself.

That was all Snape needed to come completely undone.

The fear he felt before the fall, the terror of the actual fall and the way Black had frightened him so much just felt like too much.

Snape sobbed into Sirius wordlessly, his little body wrecked with the strength of his grief.

Sirius had sat on the edge of his bed and was rubbing soothing circles on the child's back.

They sat like this until Snape had calmed down enough, the silence pierced here and there with the child's mournful hiccups.

"You are a fucker speaking to me like that. I will never forgive you for this" Snape muttered half-heartedly.

Sirius heard the miserable mumbling of a baby, but no words.

In an effort to distract him, Sirius pointed to something in the corner of his room. "You see that Snape?" he asked, bouncing the baby slightly to rouse his attention.

After a few attempts, Snape eventually acquiesced, raising large and wet obsidian eyes to look at directly at Sirius. Sirius felt a pang of regret at the look on the little face, but he continued with his distraction.

"I think you'll like this, let's go look" Sirius said in a sing-song voice.

Snape begin to get irritated with the stupid Black heir. "Stop that infernal tone Black" he tried to growl, becoming more aggravated when he heard the gurgling sound he emitted.

With one hand Sirius accio'd a thick and lush bath towel he had warming in his room and walked to where he pointed, wrapping the baby as they travelled.

Sirius pretended not to notice the stiffening of the child when he wrapped him in the towel, and out of awkwardness murmured "There, nice and toasty eh?".

Severus had frozen when the towel whooshed towards them, not knowing Black's motives. He was frozen in shock when Sirius gently wrapped him up in the towel and he felt suddenly safe and snug. This was such a foreign concept to him.

"What in Merlin's name is happening to me" Snape groaned wordlessly.

Sirius bounced Snape in his arms when he heard the noise which sounded suspiciously like contentment to him.

In one of the corners of his bedroom Sirius had maintained a shrine to his years at Hogwarts. His desk, stacked currently with volumes on various dark arts research he thought might interest Harry, was the same solid chestnut wood he had used as a schoolboy.

The desk was now covered in trinkets he had retained during his travels as Padfoot before he returned to this blasted house.

Above his desk was a faded red and gold Gryffindor scarf pinned to the wall, the most prime location to irritate his mother.

Severus huffed a babyish "Umph!" in Sirius' arms when his little eyes took in the scarf and a few mementos from his days as the Gryffindor Quidditch Keeper. Sirius chuckled at that, disguising it badly with a cough, so he didn't offend the child.

Shelves above his desk were full of glorious moving images and Severus instinctively moved towards the photos to get a better look. Snape's adult brain caught up with what he was doing only after the damage had been done. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Black smiling at the photos.

Snape wanted to roll his eyes, but his baby body would not comply. Various rubbish Black had retained was useless junk. There were numerous photos of Potter and Lupin, Pettigrew seemed to have been banished from all of the photos, judging by the strange gaps in the background of these.

Baby Harry looked up to Snape, drool running down his chin, a very proud Sirius holding him.

It continued in this way until he saw her, and he gasped aloud. Lily.

Sirius watched as Snape's baby eyes crossed his sacred Gryffindor altar of memories. He heard the baby's excited gasp when he saw Lily on her wedding day, standing with James on one side of her, Sirius on the other and Remus beside him. Though, he was sure Snape only had eyes for her.

Snape watched the girl he had loved from the moment he met her smile brilliantly up at him, no contempt and no anger. He vowed to ingrain the picture to his memory.

Sirius heard the floo burst and he started to walk towards the kitchen, a very stupefied Snape in his arms. Snape didn't stir until Poppy had lifted him over to her.


"He's very malnourished Sirius" Poppy stated, her tone challenging "You will need to ensure he's eating enough and properly. These nutrient potions should help" she continued, leaving vials of potions on the sideboard of the long kitchen.

Severus was begrudgingly sitting on Black's lap, towel covering his dignity and watching Poppy in a disinterested way.

"Yes Poppy, the little brat will be well fed don't worry" Sirius joked to her, lifting a hand in defeat when she angrily reacted "I'm just teasing! We called Harry much worse" Sirius explained with a chuckle.

Snape felt the laugh rumble in Black's chest and in turn felt his own tummy rumble. He was hungry but he wouldn't dare ask for food.

At that miserable thought, Sirius announced "Now, Poppy I think this little one needs a feed before bed. I'll give a progress report in the morning, and you can let me know what the blood samples show" Sirius stated, standing up and walking Poppy to the Floo.

Poppy had taken vials of blood samples from Severus to test his nutrition levels and also for any antidote to his condition.

"Yes, yes, I should be more informed tomorrow Sirius. Goodnight Sevvy" Poppy said gently, leaning down to pinch Snape's cheek.

"You horrible women. Don't you dare touch me" Snape tried to growl. Poppy was completely indifferent to it, keeping an adoring smile on her face. Sirius was smirking at Snape, understanding exactly what he was thinking.

"I'll wipe that smug smile off your face yet you bastard" Snape muttered. The adults only hearing a tired gurgling.

Once Poppy was away, Sirius settled them into a rocking chair upstairs, a warm bottle in his hand.

"Right Snape, I know you're hungry so give me no trouble with this" Sirius said, looking into the baby's eyes. He thought he saw a flicker of hatred, but there was no way a baby could convey that. "A baby Snape might though", he thought bitterly.

Snape was rearranged by Black so he was lying down, his head in the crook of Black's arm, looking up at him.

Snape was feeling mutinous and fussed to get back up, but Sirius was firm with him, holding him tightly and Snape eventually settled for gurgling bad words at the bastard.

Sirius took advantage of the gurgling baby and shoved the bottle's nipple into his little mouth, ensuring some of the warm liquid went directly into the baby's mouth, hoping he would get a taste for the meal and look less loathsome.

It worked. Snape was so shocked by the intrusion into his little mouth he was ready to spit and cry, until he tasted the warm sweet milk. He felt like he was in heaven. This wasn't what milk tasted like when he was a baby he thought, automatically suckling at the bottle.

The milk he received as an infant, and it was a rarity, tasted like sour water. He was later aware that the milk he was sparingly allowed was basically a lukewarm water bottle, with enough diluted milk for the colour to be more white than clear.

Sirius sighed in relief as the boy's heavy eyelids began to droop, his little mouth going lax and milk dribbling from the side of his chin.

"Shit" Sirius thought as he realised the baby was only wear the nappy Poppy transfigured earlier when checking Snape. He scowled at the memory as Poppy seemed to imply, he was unfit for not having dressed the baby before coming down to the draughty kitchen.

He carefully walked to the changing table he had transfigured in the room across the hall from his. Regulus wouldn't mind, he liked Snape, Sirius had thought coldly as he prepared the room quickly earlier.

He made short work of a saturated nappy, and plastered Snape in cream to prevent any further rash or marks. He had noticed earlier there was considerable marking and he knew it could only have been from neglect at this age the first time around.

With a nappy securely on, Sirius gently eased Snape into a fluffy romper and settled back in the rocking chair to let Snape finish his meal.

The baby had barely stirred from his milk drunk state while Sirius had performed his ministrations and he was sure he was firmly asleep by the time the bottle had only the last dregs of milk left.

Slowly, Sirius placed the little potions master down into the ornate cot he had transfigured, just below a beautiful bay window.

The crib was charmed to alert Sirius when Snape woke, and he turned to leave the room. Snape was breathing evenly and deeply; a hint of a snore filled the peaceful room.

Sirius would need to revisit it tomorrow; it was very bare. He had banished most of the items away, save for what he transfigured for the baby.

He had a long day ahead of him tomorrow and he knew it.

Sirius sleepily changed for bed and was out like a light in no time.


So a bit of a fluffy one for tonight guys. The next chapter will be much more interesting I promise! Please R & R so I know what you think!

Lots of love!