Chapter 2 "I Need To Know"
There was silence while Matt rode back to the ranch with Beth. Matt was not quite sure what to say to Beth. It would be ridiculous to ask her how mother was doing. Mike obviously was not doing well if she was given only a week to live. It would be equally ridiculous to ask Beth how she was doing. Her mother was dying. Matt may have only been around for the last couple of weeks, but he could see the strong bond between mother and daughter. Beth had to be devastated. He could empathize with Beth. Matt could put himself in Beth's shoes. He knew how devastated he felt when Kitty was dying, how devastated he still felt. Still, Matt knew he had to say something. He couldn't let the silence continue.
"When did your mother become ill?" Matt asked. "She seemed fine the other day." Matt figured his question and statement were both safe statements.
"Mother woke up yesterday with a scratchy throat," Beth responded. "At first she thought it was nothing more than a cold. It was concerning when she agreed to take it easy and stay in bed. I should've known something was wrong then and gotten the doctor sooner. Maybe she wouldn't be dying."
"Beth, I've heard about this fever that's been goin' around," said Matt. "It wouldn't have made a difference if you did go after the doctor yesterday. I don't want you to blame yourself for any of this."
Staring straight ahead, Beth nodded her head. Matt didn't know Beth well enough to know whether or not she was agreeing with him, or if she was just nodding her head to change the subject.
Several more minutes of riding and they were coming up to the Yardner Ranch. Matt and Beth pulled up to the hitching post in front of the house. They dismounted and loosely wrapped their horses' reins around the hitching post. Matt followed Beth into the house.
When Matt had returned a couple of weeks ago, he did not take notice of the changes with the house. His goal was to find Mike. Two weeks ago Matt had walked into the house that had been part of his life for nine weeks, nine weeks that would change his life forever. Two weeks ago the ranch had looked like a warzone. The biggest change in regards to the house was the second bedroom. He even walked into that bedroom and put out the small fire that was burning on the floor, yet it never occurred to Matt that the second bedroom belonged to someone, especially his daughter.
Doctor Rudman walked out of Mike's bedroom and looked at Matt. "Hello, Mr. Dillon. Ms. Yardner would like to see you."
"Thank you, Doctor Rudman," said Matt. He turned his attention towards Beth. "Are you comin'?"
"I'm sure she wants to talk to you alone," Beth replied. "I'll be in my bedroom." Beth walked into her bedroom and closed the door.
"I have a strong feeling she feels it's her fault her mother is dying," Doctor Rudman remarked.
"I believe you're right," Matt agreed. "She thinks if she would've come after you sooner, her mother would not be dying."
"That's not true," said Doctor Rudman.
"I told her that, but I don't think she took my words at any value," said Matt. "Well, I better go and see Mike."
Matt walked into Mike's bedroom. It had been over twenty years since he stepped foot into that bedroom. Even during the visits the last couple of weeks, Matt didn't go into Mike's bedroom. As far as he was concerned, he had no reason to do so. Now he had a reason to go in there. Matt just wished it wasn't such an unfortunate reason. Mike saw Matt and gave him a weak smile.
"Matt, come in and sit down," Mike instructed.
Looking around, Matt saw a chair in the corner. He pulled the chair next to the bed and sat down. Kitty may be gone, but Matt could not bring himself to sit on the bed that he betrayed Kitty on. Yes, he was not himself when the betrayal happened and Kitty knew that, but Matt knew it still cut a deep wound into Kitty's soul.
Upon sitting down, Matt noticed the bed was different. The bed twenty-two years ago had a brass frame. This bed had a wooden one. Matt didn't know why there was a different bed in Mike's room, but he was glad. Mike probably got tired of the other one and wanted a new one.
"Beth told me what was going on," said Matt. "Mike, I'm so sorry. She also said you wanted to talk to me. What is it that you wanted to talk about?" Matt assumed Mike's answer would be Beth. What else would there be to talk about.
"There are some things I need to know before I die," Mike answered.
"Go on," Matt urged.
Mike observed that Matt had chosen not to sit on the bed with her, but on a chair instead. She did not plan on asking him about that, but she decided to do so anyway. She had her suspicions, but wanted them to be confirmed.
"I noticed you chose a chair and not the bed," Mike commented. "Are you afraid of getting close to me and catching this?"
"No, that's not why I chose to sit on the chair and not the bed," Matt replied.
"Is it because of the woman you beat feet it out of here over twenty years ago?" Mike asked. Matt shook his head yes. "I don't know if you remember, but this isn't the same bed."
"I did notice that," said Matt. "What happened to the other bed? Why the new one?"
"When I realized I was pregnant and there was going to be a baby in the house, I knew I needed to have more room. I didn't want to build a new house, so I added on to this one. To do that, I needed money. I had the ranch going enough to support me, but I decided to put more into it. The money from the ranch would be used to support the baby and me. I needed just a little more money to get things going. I decided to sell the bed. I got a good price for it."
"If you sold your bed, what did you sleep on?" Matt asked. He was curious.
"It just so happened one of the hotels in town was updating the furniture in their rooms. They were selling what they had at cheap prices. I bought one of those beds."
"The bed must be well made," said Matt. "It practically looks brand new."
"This isn't the bed from the hotel," Mike responded. "When we replaced Beth's twin bed with the one that's in her room now, I also got a new bed. That was five or six years ago. But I didn't ask you over to discuss the bedroom furniture."
"Yes, there were things that you said you needed to know," Matt said. "What is it you need to know?"
"I need to know about her, the woman you left me for." Mike said.
Matt wasn't expecting that. He sincerely expected this conversation to be about Beth. "What do you want to know?" he asked.
"I need to paint a picture of her in my mind, so tell me what she looked like," said Mike. "Then tell me what she was like."
"Kitty was," Matt started to say, but Mike interrupted her.
"Kitty," she repeated. "With a name like that, I picture this meek, prissy woman. Trust me. I cannot see someone like you with a woman like that."
"You couldn't be more wrong about Kitty," Matt corrected Mike. "Kitty was a beautiful woman with these sapphire blue eyes and fiery red hair. Her fiery temper sometimes matched her fiery red hair. She definitely was not some meek woman. She was a strong woman. Her inner strength was one of the many things I loved about her."
"What happened between the two of you? Does she know you're here? Did you ever tell her about us?" Mike questioned.
"Yes, I did tell her about us. I couldn't keep something like that from her. There were times when she knew me better than I knew myself. She could see that I was feeling guilty about something," Matt answered.
"Was she upset?" asked Mike.
"It upset her, but she knew I wasn't myself. She knew I never would have been in that situation, if I knew who I was. She also wasn't overly angry because she wanted me to be honest about what was eating me up, and I was," answered Matt.
"So, what happened between the two of you? Does she know that you're here?" Mike repeated her questions from before.
"After I returned and we talked through everything, we decided to get married. I realized I was a fool for letting my badge control my personal life. I almost lost Kitty because of that badge. We had twenty beautiful years of marriage," Matt said.
"How did Kitty support herself all those years you weren't married?" asked Mike.
"She was the owner of the Long Branch," Matt replied.
Mike was expecting to hear that Kitty was a business woman who owned her own business. "What's the Long Branch?"
"The best saloon in Dodge City," Matt simply answered.
"Oh," Mike responded. If she wasn't expecting Kitty to be a business woman, she certainly wasn't expecting Matt to tell her Kitty owned a saloon. "You said you had twenty beautiful years of marriage. What happened?" Mike inquired.
"Kitty became sick a year ago and passed away," Matt quietly replied.
"I'm sorry, Matt," Mike stated. "That answers my question if she knows that you're here. Now that I know about Kitty, I need to discuss Beth with you," Mike said.
Matt was certain Mike was going to ask if he planned on being here for Beth. He would be. Matt didn't want Mike to leave this world wondering if Beth would be taken care of.
"Matt, why didn't you ever question if Beth was your child?" Mike asked.
Mike's question caught Matt off guard. He was taken back "Do I need to question it? Are you trying to tell me something? Am I her father?"
"You are her father, I'm just surprised you didn't question it," Mike replied.
"You told me you wrote the letter on her twenty-first birthday. I looked at the date on the envelope and did the math. Going back nine months from her birthday would have been around the time we shared a bed," said Matt.
"Matt, will you be here for Beth after I leave?" asked Mike.
"Mike, you have nothing to worry about," Matt answered. "I will be here for Beth."
"Matt, I need to know. If I would have told you about Beth soon after she was born, would you have returned?" questioned Mike.
TBC
