The next few days Remus was alone, as well. Maybe his friends thought he wanted them away. Maybe they were scared to come back. During the day, Remus would stay inside and reflect on what was going on in his life, and during the night, he would transform.
After the last night of the full moon, Remus got his all of his things back together, and set off toward the castle again. When he reached it, it was midday and a Thursday. He went to his dormitory without encountering anyone and lay down on his bed. He was very tired from all of the energy he had been exerting during transformations, and was excused from classes for the rest of the day by the headmaster anyway. He pulled the hangings shut around him and lay down to rest.
To his own horror, Remus dreamt a horrid memory from his childhood. First he was walking down a well-known corridor to a very familiar room; it was that room that he had spent his childhood in. "Stay here, Remus! You can't go outside!" a familiar female voice was hissing into his ear. "Don't do this to the boy, it can't be healthy-" another familiar voice was arguing with the first, but Remus knew who would win. "He's different than the others! He could be dangerous!" the first voice, his mother's bickered back. "He's fine. He's the same as before he was bitten! Nothing's changed and he's STILL OUR BOY!" The second voice, his father's usually confident tone, was strained and frantic. His mother had stopped pulling Remus along for just a second as they reached the end of the hallway where the room was when she looked to her husband with cold eyes. "Stay here, Remus, she was repeating, forever." His mother threw him into the room and slammed the door shut behind him.
That room was forever fixed into his memories: the tall ceiling stretching far beyond his reach, the three candles putting forth a vain effort to light the room, the deep scratches that had been made during so many full moons in that room. Remus had not been there only for that time, no, he was there for the entire year. His father sometimes snuck him out of the house when his mother wasn't watching to take a brisk walk through the trees nearby or snuck into the room with him to give him company during one of those long days. Little by little, furnishings were moved into the room to be made his permanent home. There was nothing significant, but a small bed, clothes, and a few old books that no one else had a place to put. Food was brought to him, of course, and Remus adapted to this.
He didn't realize that there was an alternative, of course, having only lived normally for a few years before he was bitten. He didn't hold it against his parents when he found out that this wasn't normal, though. It must be his fault, he told himself. He was the one who had been bitten, of his own stupidity. He had only been playing outside of the house when the bite came. A wolf ran out of the woods, and he tried to fight it off when it came at him. He swung a fallen branch at it, but the wolf dodged past his meager defense and attacked him.
So, really, sitting in that room for years, and now, again, in his dreams, it was no one's fault but his own. How could it be anything else?
Remus opened his eyes and lay on his back, staring vacantly at the orange light that was reflecting into the room and through the wall hangings. That memory had been resurfacing often lately. He wondered, as he always did after seeing it in a dream, if James, Sirius, and Peter thought he was a monster, too. It often seemed like it was all a joke to them, and that they didn't really understand how horrible a werewolf was. They had made it so that he could recognize them even when transformed. It was probably a phase they were going through, Remus decided, where they just thought things like werewolves were fun and cool. It would pass, and they would realize what a horrible beast he was, and shun him. This was not much of a happy insight except that Remus could be happy for at least the time the phase lasted, which was should be at least for the rest of this year.
He got up and walked down to the common room where there was a great deal of activity of people chatting, warming their bodies by the fire, and doing their homework for the night. Remus made his way over to a corner where his friends were hunched over in desks doing their homework. They did not notice him approach, and continued scribbling away furiously as Remus leaned over Peter's shoulder and looked at his paper.
"Peter, you should know enough about gillyweed by now to not have write that big! We've been studying it for nearly a week!"
The three boys jumped at Remus' voice, but turned around and smiled at him when they got over their surprise. Remus took a seat with them and they continued with their homework in mostly silence, interjected by questions or thoughts about their essays. The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and Remus went to bed more or less content.
The four woke up at the same time and gathered in the Great Hall for breakfast before their first class. Sirius told Remus how they had told Minette that Remus' illness had worsened when the rest of them got better, and that she had accepted this easily. Remus, Sirius, and James headed off to Divination while Peter stayed behind at the Great Hall. He'd dropped the class after their O.W.L.s, and had never been very good at it, anyway. When they took their seats, Remus paired with Minette, and James with Sirius.
"Feeling better?" Minette asked with a smile.
"Much," Remus said, smiling back at her. The room filled with chatter until Professor Dearborn strode in and gave a silencing bark of "Settle down, now!"
"Now, today, we'll be starting our study of the Western Zodiac," he informed the class while passing out guides to each pair. Remus had always thought that this aspect of Divination was complete rubbish. How could people thousands of years ago determined how large groups of people would act for the rest of time? "You will do an analysis of your partner's sign and the qualities of this sign." He finished handing out the guides and started to walk around the room to survey the students' work.
"So, which sign are you, Remus?" Minette asked, picking up the book that had been given to them. Remus leaned over to see the guide, having no idea what he was. They looked down the list, and found that he was a Cancerian. "'Emotional, intuitive, shrewd, protective, and sympathetic,'" Minette read, "'but also changeable, brood on insults, overemotional, clinging, and unable to let go.' That's a pretty good summary!" Remus agreed. It was really quite accurate. "Let's see what else," Minette continued. "You're a water sign, your sun stone is the pearl, Cancer is a crab, of course, your metal is silver, and...you are ruled by the Moon." Minette finished reading this and looked up at Remus as his stomach gave a little lurch. This was oddly accurate...maybe this zodiac business wasn't complete rubbish after all.
"Remus, could I talk
to you for a minute?" Minette gave her cheery little smile as Remus
stopped and James, Sirius, and Peter walked on without them.
"Sure," Remus said uncertainly. "What is it?"
"Well, I was wondering," Minette seemed suddenly out of breath and her face flushed slightly, "if you would like to go to Hogsmeade with me. As, you know, a date?"
Remus just stood still for a moment. This had taken him by complete surprise. "I-well," he stammered. Minette looked rather tense and anxious, like she was ready to flee if something went wrong. "Of course!" he said to her, finally finding his voice. "I'd love to!"
The two of them relaxed slightly, smiled, and walked off in opposite directions to their classes.
I am SO SORRY that I haven't updated in so long! I threw in that last bit to get the beginning of the romance going. I'll try to update more often! I'm hoping that Remus isn't too angsty...I was crying while I wrote his memory... ;; Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, and please review!
